Me & My Muse – Day 1300: The Thirteenth Ascent

Once again, we have arrived at another milestone.   A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1200 and a nearly identical post from Day 1100.  I don’t know about you, but with it being winter, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.

I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire.  (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time!  The very same me from the 1200th entry!  You don’t believe me, do you?  Well, go back and read the 1200th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying.  And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish?  I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the eleventh time in a row?  My, what a milestone!  I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any!  This is getting ridiculous!  There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000!  Oh well.  I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing!  I don’t think that I will change a thing!  Although I did change “1200th” to “1300th” and “tenth” to “eleventh” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it,  why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post?  Wait!  What I just included was new!  So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*)  I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah.  Redundant again!  REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this?  Wait!  I’ve said that already!  Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning!  Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What?  Did you really think that I was going to forget about it?  I remembered!  Go me!  I rock!)  I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.

In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry.  How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 300 days ago.  (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to  reread the 1200th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 300 days ago.)  How original!  You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire.  How I would leave an introspective…wait!  This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous.  Is it too late to start over?  (Genius!  Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them.  Just be sure to save my interjections.  They’re pure gold, I tell you!  Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.

Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait!  This is redundant!  Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1200?  We know what happens next already.  The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1200.  It always is!  It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?

But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different.  Yes.  The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact!  My are we smart!), but just to be sure.  We will have a look inside and see…

Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that.  (I’m all for originality!  Let’s be brave!  Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)

After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door.  Sure enough, the same field was there.  (We should really change the scenery a little bit.  Maybe in a later one, perhaps?  But this is entry 1300!  Maybe we should change it soon…)  I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before, only the greenery was moist with melted snow.  (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.)  Clovers and wildflowers.  Yellow, orange, and red leaves.  A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago.  (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far.  My, am I on a roll today!)

The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance.  A tall structure that looked even taller than before.  Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before.  And quite redundant.  Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger.  We get it.

The tower looked like vastly oversized pink police box, better know to her as the TARDIS.  The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure.  The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it.  (Oh please!  The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she?  Well, I never!)

“A pink office building designed like a TARDIS,” I said to myself.  “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”

Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.

I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.

“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure.  (Oh, come on!  You ask her that every single time!  Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)

My Muse shook her head again and smiled.  “No, silly!  This tower is a little different.  And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1201st floor!”

I nodded, with a slight grin on my face.  And this was mainly due to the deja vu.  “And this floor is still…”

“Floor 1,” she recited.  “ExperiMENTAL.  Tee hee…”

And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.

Upon entering the portal, she was right.  I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby.  But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1201st floor.

Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there.  But she wasn’t typing.  In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor.  It was only a split second that I saw her typing…

“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced.  “You are on the “Muse Who?” floor.  This floor is not one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”

I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk.  “I would like to go to floor 1300 now.”

At this, my Muse frowned.  “Why?  There are so many good floors!”

I advanced further to the elevators.  I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall.   The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post!  Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them?  Sorry.  It’s not going to happen this time, either.  If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post.  Okay.  If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead.  I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.

There.  After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text,  I have my list.  It’s right here!  I have it on my lap.  Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read.  My favorite floors are:

Floor 1201 – Muse Who?

The Muse of Mystery is back.  What better way to honor her but to provide her own story arc?  This is not The Doctor we’re talking, but The Muse.  A female Doctor with a little bit of River Song thrown in there.  Doctor Who fans, rejoice!  And if you’re not a fan of the show, this is still a good one to read.  Grab your sonic screwdriver, your psychic paper, and enjoy this read.

Floor 1210 – Restful Sunday

The plot thickens.  I learn more about my Muse’s new form and how she became the Muse of Mystery.  How did this happen?  It gets interesting.  Read and find out.

Floor 1215 – The November Respite Begins…

In this one, I discover one of my Muse’s new quirks.  Why does she always hurry to the bathroom?  And trouble’s starting to brew in the sky.  Be on your watch, and enjoy this read.

Floor 1217 – Falling Back – Part II

This has nothing to do with Daylight Savings Time ending, but everything to do with the plot.  The Dark Muse is revealed as a character that reminds me of Missy (AKA The Master).  On a ship full of Daleks, how do I escape?  Read this, OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!  Ignore that Dalek.  Go ahead and read it, if you dare.

Floor 1220 – It’s Time to Make America Great Again!

The 2016 Presidential Election was quite the memorable one.  Whether your candidate won or lost, one this is for sure.  Trump won, and things are going to be a little different now.  Interested?  Check out this read.  Or if you’re a Democrat, avoid it at all costs.

Floor 1229– Freaky Friday

In this one, a new epidemic has emerged.  People around the world are mysteriously transforming into babies.  Why is this happening?  What mother is going to take care of them all?  Read this, but at a distance.  You could be next.

Floor 1233 – Saying Goodbye

Farewells are so hard for me.  Especially when it’s a co-worker that I’ve worked with for so long.  Having seen him go from assistant manager to general manager, I knew the store was in good hands.  But when I heard of his planned departure, I was floored.  This read is dear to me, as this person will be missed.  Have you ever said goodbye to a co-worker before?  This read is for you.

Floor 1241 – Smart Phone and a New Computer!

Well, it finally happened.  I never thought that I would see this day, but it just happened.  I got a smartphone, and to make things even better, I got my new laptop on the same day.  This read pretty much covers these things and my excitement about them.  Christmas is here early.  Unwrap this read and enjoy it.

Floor 1243– They Grow Up So Fast

Who am I talking about?  In this one, the Baby Epidemic is finally brought under control.  How was this resolved?  Read it and find out.

Floor 1256 – The Mission Begins Tonight…

In this one, I talk about my excitement in seeing Rouge One: A Star Wars Story.  Are you ready for the mission?  Here are your orders.  Read this entry.  That is all.

Floor 1286 – Sweet Saturday

While my Saturday may have been sweet, the war going on in the sky wasn’t.  War ships from all over the universe were zeroing in on earth with one goal:  Obtain my One Privilege at all costs.  Do they succeed?  Is there any bloodshed?  Read on.  This might get dangerous.

Floor 1287 – Making the Switch

Have I succeeded in making a light switch?  Don’t be silly.  No.  What I am referring to in this one is my latest acquisition.  I pre-ordered a Nintendo Switch: Nintendo’s newest console.  Will you make the switch?  Good luck finding one, but read this anyway.

Floor 1291 – Frithursday

Have you ever had a work week end on a Thursday?  That explains the title.  Furthermore, this is the finale of the Time Lady Muse saga.  It’s a wonderful conclusion to a wonderful tribute.  Read, and see how it all ends.

Floor 1292 – President Donald Trump

Like it or not, we have a new president in office.  If you’re put off by the title, just remember how others felt and how you felt eight years ago.  To be straightforward, I pretty much share my excitement for the president-elect being sworn in as president.  If this doesn’t pique your interest, the protesters are over there.  But if you are interested, it’s definitely worth reading.  It’s the culmination of one of the most historic elections in history.  Let’s make America great again.

Floor 1295 – Slow Monday

Wait a second!  She’s back?  Yes she is.  In this one, the unexpected happens.  Who came back?  Why am I so excited about this?  Read this one, and all will be revealed.

Wow!  It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought.   I included a little less than last time!  Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list.  But it’s too late now.  Onward to the 1300th floor…

My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.

“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me.  “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”

“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her.  “I lived them!”

To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators.  I then pressed the up button a few times.  Where are the elevators?  With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened.  It just happened to be the one next to me.

I entered the elevator and pressed the 1300 button.  Moments later, the doors closed.

Several moments passed.  At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry.  Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice.  Just enough changes to throw off the audience.  How lazy of him!  Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas?  But Kyle would have none of that.  He is just as determined to bring this thirteenth milestone post to an abrupt end.  The good old recycled zinger.  They’ll never notice!  Unless the narrator reminds them

Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1300th floor.

A little like the 1200th floor before it,  this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated.  A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000.  Pretty much the same room as the 1200th story, 1100th story, 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.

Oh!  We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph!  As much as we want to, we can’t.  It just wouldn’t be right…

And on the bed laid my Muse.  She was in time lady form and…I felt for a pulse.  Two hearts.  Yup.  She’s still a Gallifreyan…There was a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her.  Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed.  That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet!  Am I right?  And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!

Attached to her hand was a note.  And this is what it said:

To my master,

I made this tower for you and me.  This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1300.  Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily.  If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written.  I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.

Love,

Your Muse

I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it.  However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors.  I looked at the directory.

The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 1201-1300

Floor 1201 – Muse Who?  Floor 1202 – Singles Gathering  Floor 1203 – Speech Contest Planning…  Floor 1204 – Friend Visit?  Floor 1205 – Green Haircut and Open House  Floor 1206 – Ideas and Speech Contest Planning Floor 1207 – Busy Day is Busy…  Floor 1208 – E Division Contest Eve  Floor 1209 – E Division Speech Contest and then rest… Floor 1210 – Restful Sunday  Floor 1211 – Trick or Treat?!!  Floor 1212 – Leftover Candy  Floor 1213 – Bread, Ideas, and Toastmasters  Floor 1214 – Pepperoni & Jalapeno Pepperoni Stuffed Crust Deep Dish  Floor 1215 – The November Respite Begins…  Floor 1216 – Falling Back – Part I  Floor 1217 – Falling Back – Part II Floor 1218 – Election Eve  Floor 1219 – Election Day  Floor 1220 – It’s Time to Make America Great Again!!!  Floor 1221 – Celebration Night  Floor 1222 – Give Humor a Chance!  Floor 1223 – Greetings From Midland!  Floor 1224 – The Fall Conference Recap…  Floor 1225 – NESday Aftermath…  Floor 1226 – Toastmasters District 62 Fall Conference Aftermath  Floor 1227 – A Different Wednesday  Floor 1228 – A Head Start…  Floor 1229 – Freaky Friday  Floor 1230 – Snowy SaturNESday  Floor 1231 – Sunday Shopping  Floor 1232 – NovemBRRR…  Floor 1233 – Saying Goodbye  Floor 1234 – Thanksgiving Eve  Floor 1235 – Happy Thanksgiving!  Floor 1236 – Shop Till You Drop  Floor 1237 – Making a List and Checking it Twice  Floor 1238 – Sleepy Sunday  Floor 1239 – Click Till You Drop  Floor 1240 – A Couple Big Updates…  Floor 1241 – Smart Phone & A New Computer!  Floor 1242 – Wrapping Things Up  Floor 1243 – They Grow Up So Fast  Floor 1244 – O Christmas Tree  Floor 1245 – Good Night…  Floor 1246 – Another NESday…  Floor 1247 – Hot Water Problem  Floor 1248 – A Good Start  Floor 1249 – Forget the Hot Water…  Floor 1250 – More Footage and a Possible Friend Visit…  Floor 1251 – To NES or Not to NES?  Floor 1252 – Tired…  Floor 1253 – Monday Snow Day  Floor 1254 – Tuesday Dough Day  Floor 1255 – Millennials vs. Gen X ends tonight!  Floor 1256 – The Mission Begins Tonight…  Floor 1257 – Jedi Hangover  Floor 1258 – Playlist is Done!  Floor 1259 – And Now the Bedding…  Floor 1260 – Twas the NES Before Christmas…  Floor 1261 – Christmas Toast  Floor 1262 – I’m All About That List…  Floor 1263 – The True Meaning of Christmas  Floor 1264 – All Aboard!  Floor 1265 – Twas the Day Before Christmas…  Floor 1266 – Merry Christmas!  Floor 1267 – Christmas Aftermath  Floor 1268 – The Mission Continues…  Floor 1269 – End of Year Checklist…  Floor 1270 – Christmas: Part II  Floor 1271 – Closing Up the Year  Floor 1272 – Happy New Year!  Floor 1273 – Starting off sick  Floor 1274 – Ketchup NESday  Floor 1275 – Hold the Mustard…  Floor 1276 – Here Comes the Pain…  Floor 1277 – Rough Day…  Floor 1278 – And Now the Weekend…  Floor 1279 – A Different King of NES…  Floor 1280 – Sunday Sushi Floor 1281 – Monday Meeting  Floor 1282 – Tuesday Terrain  Floor 1283 – Woeful Wednesday  Floor 1284 – Treacherous Thursday  Floor 1285 – Fun Friday  Floor 1286 – Sweet Saturday   Floor 1287 – Making the Switch  Floor 1288 – Growing Pains  Floor 1289 – Icy and Wet  Floor 1290 – Wet Wednesday  Floor 1291 – Frithursday  Floor 1292 – President Donald Trump  Floor 1293 – Friday a Day Late  Floor 1294 – Time for Fun  Floor 1295 – Slow Monday  Floor 1296 – Two Jobs  Floor 1297 – More Job Hunting…  Floor 1298 – Thursday Thunder  Floor 1299 – Friday Fireworks  Floor 1300 – Tower of Muses: The Thirteenth Ascent

The high today is going to be 33 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1300th post made.

To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Just like entry 1200, she’s right!  The entire entry is typed!  And there’s that message at the end!  Aw…How cute.  I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post.  Oh well…

Now I’ll…What’s going on?  Just like before!  It’s happening once again!  On the bed!  My Muse is flashing…

Me & My Muse – Day 1200: The Twelfth Ascent

Once again, we have arrived at another milestone.   A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an nearly identical post from Day 1100.  I don’t know about you, but with it being just 11 days before Halloween, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.

I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire.  (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time!  The very same me from the 1100th entry!  You don’t believe me, do you?  Well, go back and read the 1100th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying.  And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish?  I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the tenth time in a row?  My, what a milestone!  I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any!  This is getting ridiculous!  There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000!  Oh well.  I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing!  I don’t think that I will change a thing!  Although I did change “1100th” to “1200th” and “ninth” to “tenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it,  why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post?  Wait!  What I just included was new!  So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*)  I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah.  Redundant again!  REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this?  Wait!  I’ve said that already!  Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning!  Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What?  Did you really think that I was going to forget about it?  I remembered!  Go me!  I rock!)  I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.

Speaking of absences, it just occurred to me.  My Muse is a baby.  How is she going to construct a Tower of Muses by herself?  (Easy!  Just look at the title of the post!  Oh!  You haven’t read it yet?  That’s right!  You’re in the story so you can’t read it yet…Anyway, back to the action…)  Will there even be a Tower of Muses?  I don’t know if there will be…

In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry.  How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago.  (Not quite.  I added some other information regarding the Muse being a baby and included a note to the reader to  reread the 1100th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.)  How original!  You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire.  How I would leave an introspective…wait!  This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous.  Is it too late to start over?  (Genius!  Considering that you already typed the first three paragraphs, I would just delete them.  Just be sure to save my interjections.  They’re pure gold, I tell you!  Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.

Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait!  This is redundant!  Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1100?  We know what happens next already.  The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here (Well, she’s a baby so her parents are probably taking care of her…) and approaching the tower, if there is one this time (Yes!  There WILL be a tower, and it is different from the one that you saw in Day 1100.  It always is!  It’s different every 100 posts!). Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?

But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different.  On the other hand, it just might not be there.  The only tower that my Muse can construct right now would be made of building blocks.  If there is a tower, the tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact!  My are we smart!), but just to be sure.  We will have a look inside and see…

Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that.  (I’m all for originality!  Let’s be brave!  Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)

After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door.  Sure enough, the same field was there.  (We should really change the scenery a little bit.  Maybe in a later one, perhaps?  But this is entry 1200!  Maybe we should change it soon…)  I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before, only the greenery was covered in leaves.  (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.)  Clovers and wildflowers.  Yellow, orange, and red leaves.  A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago.  (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far.  My, am I on a roll today!)

The colorful luminescent sea led to a…rather tall structure that sat far in the distance?  Wait!  Who constructed the tower?  My Muse could not have done it all by herself!  (Don’t worry about who built it!  That will be explained soon!  Trust me…)  I’m sure that someone did it.  Anyway…A tall structure that looked even taller than before.  Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before.  And quite redundant.  Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger.  We get it.

The tower looked like a colorful office building – for kids.  Babies in particular.  The soft pinks and other colors ran up and down the crayon-adorned structure.  The lego-studded glass had a pink tint to it.  (Oh my!  The designer had a lot of help with this!  What baby could design this giant toy tower without help?)

“A colorful office building,” I said to myself.  “Did somebody help my Muse build this?  How cute!”

Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.

I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.

“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure.  (Oh, come on!  You ask her that every single time!  Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)

My Muse shook her head again and smiled.  “No, silly!  This tower is a little different.  And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1101st floor!”

I nodded, with a slight grin on my face.  And this was mainly due to the deja vu.  “And this floor is still…”

“Floor 1,” she recited.  “ExperiMENTAL.  Tee hee…”

And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.

Upon entering the portal, she was right.  I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby.  But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1101st floor.

Approaching a colorful service desk, I saw…a clone of myself sitting there?  Oh!  That’s right!  My Muse was a baby!  Still dealing with the weirdness, I noticed that he wasn’t typing.  In fact, he looked up right after I got to this floor.  It was only a split second that I saw him typing…

“Welcome, Kyle.” he announced.  “You are on the “One Man and a Baby” floor.  This floor is not one of my favorites, since I have to take care of my Muse for the next 99 days!”

I cleverly smiled at my clone.  “So, there’s no Muse secretary this time?”

My clone bashfully grinned.  “Very funny.  Would you like a Muse secretary?  I can get her.  She’s only 5 months old and still wearing diapers.”

I laughed and looked at my clone again. “Okay.  I get it!”

“Wait…” My clone quickly responded.  “I can’t get her for you.  I suddenly remembered.  She’s taking a nap right now.”

I scratched my head and frowned.  “You don’t have to take care of my Muse for 99 more days.  Eventually, you’ll get Remedy and Nurture…”

My clone nodded impatiently.  “Yeah.  I know what happens.  I’ve seen every floor.  But remember.  Time doesn’t change on any of these floors.  For me, it’s still 99 more days.  Okay?”

I nodded, and sighed.  “Is she up there?  Did she thrive?”

My clone nodded.  “Your Muse?  I don’t know if she thrived or not, but she’s definitely up there!  She’s taking her nap…”

I then looked at the elevators that were past his desk.  “I would like to go to floor 1200 now.”

At this, my clone smiled.  “Go ahead.  I’ve seen them all.  Raising her for 100 days was a whole ordeal.  There are so many bad floors that it’s just not worth it.  The newborn floors, all of the terrible two floors, and don’t get me started on her becoming all-powerful and redesigning our entire universe.  I left those floors quickly and…just get to the top.”

I advanced further to the elevators.  I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall.   The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post!  Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them?  Sorry.  It’s not going to happen this time, either.  If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post.  Okay.  If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead.  I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.

There.  After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text,  I have my list.  It’s right here!  I have it on my lap.  Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read.  My favorite floors are:

Floor 1102 – The Terrible Twos

This one is iconic.  What happens when my Muse becomes a two-year old terror?  Let me answer that.  Bad things happen.  This is her debut as a toddler and it doesn’t get any prettier from here.  Read this, and put the little one to bed for me, okay?   And don’t forget the diapers.

Floor 1105 – Quiet Time

If you have gotten this far, you know that I am already tired of raising my Muse.  In this one, help comes along.  The father takes the Muse child off my hands and I can now rest.  Read this and you’ll agree.  Babysitters are awesome.

Floor 1106 – NESday is Over…

With my Muse being a baby again, this gets attention of the mother, who quickly comes to her aid.  This strange story arc gets stranger.  A second lifecycle?  Rebirth?  Read it and believe it.  Intangibles can be pretty interesting from what I’m told…

Floor 1108– Ideationesday

In this one, the parents are trying to figure out my Muse’s abnormal aging patterns.  She ages like a rubber band.  Infant, toddler and newborn.  It’s randomly older or younger.  This makes clothing a major problem.  What’s an Intangible parent to do?  Fortunately, all you have to do is one thing.  Read this, and learn with them.

Floor 1112 – Another “Twos”day…

Oh no.   My Muse is two again.  And with this happening, the parents are not ready to be parents again.   Oh, and the Dark Muse is back.  Great.  Read this to me!  Tee hee!  Here we go again…

Floor 1113 – Monday Movie…

In this one, the Dark Muse has already began her destruction inside my Muse.  What could possibly go wrong?  Read this, and beware.  There are lot of “tee hee”s in this entry.  You have been warned.

Floor 1120 – August Rotation

Have you figured out the pattern of when my Muse turns two?  When you mix the Dark Muse with the Terrible Twos, you get a complete disaster.  And yeah.  The storm has just begun.  Read this, and get me the bravest babysitter you can.  May I suggest the One Privilege?  It will come in handy.  Trust me.

Floor 1124 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake!

Yup.  She’s still two and I can’t even get a vacation from her!  In spending my vacation at the lake, it is interrupted by Little Miss Sunshine.  Can I go back to the lake?  You have your parents, right?  Read this, and see how a 25 month old Intangible can be annoying.  For the best vacation, leave the kids at home with a babysitter.  Especially if they’re Muses.

Floor 1125 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake! Part Two

This one pretty much continues from yesterday, only worse.  She’s almost three and still a nightmare.  It’s my second day at the lake, and this time, she decides to pay a visit by becoming a giant and draining the entire lake.  Read this and watch the nightmare continue.  Where did she get all this power?  I guess that three-year old Muses can be just as bad.

Floor 1131 – Happy Birthday!

Do I really have to raise a baby Muse on my birthday?  Yes I do, but surprisingly, it goes better than I thought.  Read this and help yourself to the cake.  It is not a lie.

Floor 1142 – Special Toastmasters Tuesday

Wait a second!  My Muse is an adult again?  What’s going on?  I don’t know.  You better read this and find out!  Sorry.  I couldn’t resist…

Floor 1143 – I Hate Wednesdays

This could quite possibly be the shortest entry that I ever left.  This description is longer than the post itself.  Somebody call Guinness.  We have a record.  Read it…Oh.  You already did?  Okay.

Floor 1145 – Unfixable

A blatant lie, but I was having a bad week.  This day took the cake.  What can fix this day?  Nothing.  But fortunately, that day is over, and this is the record of it.  Read it.  It’s another short one.

Floor 1152 – Green Haircut Pay Day

In this one, it’s Deja Vu all over again.  Don’t know what I’m talking about?  You haven’t read the other one, have you?  My Muse is two again and she’s larger than life.  And with her getting more and more powerful, she’s harder…to…control…ugh!!!  Can I best a giant toddler?  Check out this exciting read and grab some animal crackers.  She just LOVES them!

Floor 1153 – The Countdown Begins…

Something feels off with this one, as I can’t control my Muse anymore.  And when she’s 12 months old, this can be a bad thing.  I am not a toy, but she thinks I am.  This one’s rough…for me.  Read it and see.  The ending is pretty humiliating!

Floor 1155 – Movie and a Sushi

An forgettable night of catching a flick and eating sushi and I have to babysit?  No way.  In this one, I get my clone involved.  Taking care of my Muse turns into a game of hide and seek when I can no longer care for her.  Where is that One Privilege? Does she have it?  Oh no. Read this and HIDE.  A floating toddler can be dangerous.  Especially when she’s taller than the Chrysler Building.

Floor 1161 – A Day That I Still Never Forget

My annual 9/11 entry, only a little different.  Besides that, it’s pretty much the same.  Read it, and see if you can spot the differences.

Floor 1162 – GoodNES MonNES…

With my Muse being so powerful now, things start going out of control.  Power incontinence happens and she starts growing out of control.  Will the universe be safe?  I hope so.  Read this and find out.

Floor 1163 – Baby Universe

In this one, I observe a new universe.  A universe without adults.  I was the only one left.  Don’t believe me? This actually happened.  Read, and see the horror that you missed out on.

Floor 1165 – No Toastmasters?

In this one, I begin to grasp the reality of a world made in my Muse’s image.  No adults.  And that means No Toastmasters.  This is the horrible world you missed.  Read it, and be glad that you weren’t here to experience it.  Oh, and I get some much needed help in this one.  That was quite a relief for me.

Floor 1167 – Entering My Muse

The plot thickens.  I finally enter my Muse and have a reunion with someone I haven’t seen in a while.  This is getting good.  Stop reading this description and read this entry.  It’s a really good one.  Trust me.

Floor 1170 – Back to Normal

The title is self explanatory.  In a cataclysmic explosion, everything is back to normal, and my Muse is her sweet little self…for now.  Will she be an adult in a month?  If she’s raised right, there’s a good chance that this will happen.  This is the dramatic conclusion to the Dark Baby Muse saga and is definitely worth a read or two.

Floor 1172 – Area Speech Contest

Surprisingly, why I picked this one has nothing to do with the title.  With my Muse in the midst of being toilet trained, “no” becomes her favorite word.  And you can all guess what happens from here.  So read this one, and PLEASE don’t say no.

Floor 1181 – Catch-up Day

Why this one?  It’s not so much the catching up, but taking the “exciting” tour with Nurture of all the different closets of clothes that she has for Muse.  When an Intangible baby changes its age every day, you need to be prepared.  And from what I saw here, I was really impressed.  And you will be too.  Moms and dads, take notes.  And even if you’re not a parent, have a read and check this out.

Floor 1185 – Mountain of Boxes

For once, I chose this one from the title.  There’s a good story here and you should read it.  Have you ever been in a work situation that involved profound change?  This is a learning experience that I want all of you to benefit from.  Read it and see for yourself.

Floor 1197B – Cavern of Coins II – SUCCESS!!!!

In this one, we revisit the fun little tour of Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker’s Mummy-Me Maze Forever.  What is this success all about?  Maybe you would like to read this entry.  The tour comes complete with your own headlamp and pickaxe.  It’s fun for the whole family.  Just beware of the mummies.

Wow!  It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought.   I included a little more than last time!  Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list.  But it’s too late now.  Onward to the 1200th floor…

My clone, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.

“You’re still here, huh?” he told me.  “It’s amazing how much you know about those floors! Especially since you haven’t even visited them…I visited all of them!”

“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told him.  “I lived them!”

To that, he responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators.  I then pressed the up button a few times.  Where are the elevators?  With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened.  It just happened to be the one next to me.

I entered the elevator and pressed the 1200 button.  Moments later, the doors closed.

Several moments passed.  At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry.  Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice.  Just enough changes to throw off the audience.  How lazy of him!  Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas?  But Kyle would have none of that.  He is just as determined to bring this twelfth milestone post to an abrupt end.  The good old recycled zinger.  They’ll never notice!  Unless the narrator reminds them

Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1200th floor.  My Muse would surely be up there, but did she thrive?  This is the crucial difference between her becoming an adult and her remaining a baby forever.  Having seen her yesterday, there’s no telling.  She was brand new.  Less than a day old.  If she was up here, she would be laying on her bed, taking her nap.  Oh, I surely hope that Nurture toilet trained her…

A little like the 1100th floor before it,  this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated.  A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed with removable fencing sat in the other.  Pretty much the same room as the 1100th story, the 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.

Oh!  We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph!  As much as we want to, we can’t.  It just wouldn’t be right…

And on the bed laid my Muse.  She was…how is she today?  My Muse is…36 months old today.  3 years old exactly.  She is 33 inches tall and she weighs 27 pounds.  The height of a 21 month old and the weight of a 2 year old.  Was she toilet trained?  I surely hope that she was…

My heart sank when I saw what was at the foot of her bed.  Right there sat an open sack of Size 5 diapers.  I’m guessing that this was gotten into today, considering how many were already used.  Did she even use the toilet today?  Did she give up?  I don’t want her to be a baby forever!  I really don’t…

Where is the note?  It’s not attached to her this time.  I’m guessing that they had to do something else, since she’s so little.  Oh.  There it is!  Next to the sack of diapers, there was a note attached to the foot of the bed.    It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower with the help of whoever helped her probably took so much out of her.  Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed.    That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet!  Am I right?  And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!

Attached to the foot of the bed was a note.  And this is what it said:

To my master,

I made this tower with my daddy for you and me.  This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1200.  Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily.  If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written.  I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.  Don’t get mad at me. I tried using the potty every time that I had to go potty like a big girl.  I tried but I keep not making it!  I told mommy every time and I stopped going every time we got to the potty.  Mommy says that I’m doing a good job but I don’t think I am.  Big girls can use the potty.  Mommy says that I am a big girl because I’m trying.  I disagree with mommy.  Big girls don’t wear diapers!  Don’t be mad.  I’m still a baby.  I will try to use the potty again when I wake up from my nap.  I want to be a big girl and wear underwears like mommy.

I’m getting tired, so my daddy is going to finish this big building.  Time for nap time!

Love you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots,

Your Muse

P.S.  What Muse said about her potty training struggle is correct.  We tried to have her use the potty every time, and she was very eager to do so.  But every time we finally got there, she had already finished going.

Remedy’s right.  After every time we got to the potty, her diaper was wet when I changed her.  She’s got the determination, but we ran out of time.  I don’t count nap times since it’s much easier to do it when she’s awake.  But that’s besides the point.  We failed.  Remedy thinks that she will be an adult anyway, but I think he’s wrong.  I’ve resigned to the fact that I will probably have to raise her forever…

And that’s where you’re wrong, my dear.  Muse only needs the idea and the desire.  She understands how to go, but her body isn’t prepared for that yet.  This will come with time, and her bladder should be strong enough as an adult.  Well, she already left the room.  Just know that your Muse has succeeded.  When have I ever been wrong?  Just let time resolve itself and we’ll see what happens tomorrow.

I’ll see you in the morning!  Thank you for helping raise Muse with us.

Remedy & Nurture

Nice note.  My Muse’s was very cute.  As for Remedy’s and Nurture’s, I don’t know which one is right.  Will she mature into an adult or remain a baby forever?  There’s no telling what’s going to happen.  Only time will tell…

I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it.  However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors.  I looked at the directory.

The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 1101-1200

Floor 1101 – One Man and a Baby  Floor 1102 – The Terrible Twos  Floor 1103 – Crunch Time  Floor 1104 – Rest Time  Floor 1105 – Quiet Time  Floor 1106 – NESday is Over…  Floor 1107 – Tuesturday  Floor 1108 – Ideationesday  Floor 1109 – Toastmasthursday  Floor 1110 – Turning up the Heat  Floor 1111 – The Heat Continues…  Floor 1112 – Another “Twos”day…  Floor 1113 – Monday Movie  Floor 1114 – And Now the Aftermath…  Floor 1115 – Brainstorm  Floor 1116 – Overdue Green Haircut  Floor 1117 – Hello Weekend!  Floor 1118 – Saturday of Solitude  Floor 1119 – More Peace  Floor 1120 – August Rotation  Floor 1121 – Time for Toastmasters  Floor 1122 – Hitting the DEC at…Home  Floor 1123 – Toastmasters Meeting and Northward Bound  Floor 1124 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake!  Floor 1125 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake!  Part Two  Floor 1126 – Back Home…  Floor 1127 – Brown Haircut; Green Haircut  Floor 1128 – GoodNES Awaits…  Floor 1129 – Hot Ideas  Floor 1130 – Birthday Eve  Floor 1131 – Happy Birthday!  Floor 1132 – Birthday Aftermath  Floor 1133 – Sunday Short  Floor 1134 – Good Night!  Floor 1135 – Cleaning Marathon  Floor 1136 – PENNIES!!!!!  Floor 1137 – BUFFALO!!!!  Floor 1138 – FRIDAY!!!!  Floor 1139 – Ice Cream Day  Floor 1140 – Sunday Brunch  Floor 1141 – Birthday Dinner: Part II  Floor 1142 – Special Toastmasters Tuesday  Floor 1143 – I Hate Wednesdays  Floor 1144 – Open Up and Say Ahh…  Floor 1145 – Unfixable  Floor 1146 – A Terrible Rain  Floor 1147 – Green Haircut SUNday  Floor 1148 – Back to the Grind  Floor 1149 – Early Start  Floor 1150 – Full of Ideas  Floor 1151 – Kind of Short  Floor 1152 – Green Haircut Pay Day  Floor 1153 – The Countdown Begins…  Floor 1154 – A Day of Leisure  Floor 1155 – Movie and a Sushi  Floor 1156 – Cereal Number  Floor 1157 – Noodle Craving  Floor 1158 – Almost there…  Floor 1159 – Yay, Friday…  Floor 1160 – Hitting the DEC in Lansing  Floor 1161 – A Day That I Still Never Forget  Floor 1162 – GoodNES MonNES…  Floor 1163 – Baby Universe  Floor 1164 – Short Idea Monologue  Floor 1165 – No Toastmasters?  Floor 1166 – Almost There…  Floor 1167 – Entering My Muse…  Floor 1168 – A Quiet Sunday  Floor 1169 – Time to Think  Floor 1170 – Back to Normal  Floor 1171 – Summer Outro  Floor 1172 – Area Speech Contest  Floor 1173 – Round Robin Green Haircut  Floor 1174 – Writing Time  Floor 1175 – A Slightly Different Sunday  Floor 1176 – A Brief Monday  Floor 1177 – TuesNESday  Floor 1178 – Why Wednesdays are Exhausting  Floor 1179 – Why Thursdays can be Pretty Much the Same…  Floor 1180 – Why Fridays Can Be So Relieving Floor 1181 – Catch-up Day  Floor 1182 – Green Haircut Delay  Floor 1183 – Manic MonNESday  Floor 1184 – Toastmasters Night  Floor 1185 – Mountain of Boxes  Floor 1186 – Mountain of Boxes – Part II   Floor 1187 – Return of the Radio  Floor 1188 – Hitting the DEC in Midland  Floor 1189 – Easy Does It  Floor 1190 – Ketchup Day  Floor 1191 – Mustard Day  Floor 1192 – Ideation Day  Floor 1193 – Thursday Quickday  Floor 1194 – Fun Friday  Floor 1195 – Let the Weekend Begin…  Floor 1196 – Cereal and Rain  Floor 1197 – More NES…  Floor 1197B – Cavern of Coins II – SUCCESS!!!!  Floor 1198 – Oil Change and More Toastmasters  Floor 1199 – Ideas, Conference Call, and Survivor  Floor 1200 – Tower of Muses: The Twelfth Ascent

The high today is going to be 57 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1200th post made.

To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Just like entry 1100, she’s right!  The entire entry is typed!  And there’s that message at the end!  Aw…How cute.  I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post.  Oh well…

Now I’ll…What’s going on?  Just like before!  It’s happening once again!  On the bed!  My Muse is flashing…

Me & My Muse – Day 1100: The Eleventh Ascent

Once again, we have arrived at another milestone.   A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1000 and a nearly identical post from Day 900.  I don’t know about you, but with it being summer, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.

I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire.  (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but I’m back from post 900!  With 1000, we wanted to ensure that the entry was special, and it was.  With that all over, you will get more of the same.  It is the very same me from the 900th entry!  You don’t believe me, do you?  Well, go back and read the 900th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying.  And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish?  I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the ninth time in a row?  This is getting ridiculous!  There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100!  Well, okay.  There was also entry 1000, which was amazing by the way.  Oh well.  I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing!  I don’t think that I will change a thing!  Although I did  add a little extra content and change “1000th” to “1100th” and “tenth” to “eleventh” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we?  And while we’re at it,  why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post?  Wait!  What I just included was new!  So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*)  I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah.  Redundant again!  REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this?  Wait!  I’ve said that already!  Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning!  Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What?  Did you really think that I was going to forget about it?  I remembered!  Go me!  I rock!)  I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.

Speaking of absences, I must accept that she’s gone.  If you read yesterday’s entry, she’s now dead.  I don’t know why this had to happen, but I have to accept the reality.  If I were to guess, she made this tower right before she died, with the last bit of energy that she had.  Why did she have to go?

In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry.  How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 200 days ago.  (Not quite.  I added some other information regarding his Muse’s death and included a note to the reader to  reread the 900th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 200 days ago.)  How original!  You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire.  How I would leave an introspective…wait!  This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous.  Is it too late to start over?  (Genius!  Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them.  Just be sure to save my interjections.  They’re pure gold, I tell you!  Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.

Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait!  This is redundant!  Wasn’t this mentioned in day 900?  We know what happens next already.  The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here (Well, she died yesterday so it would be a different reason now…) and approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1000.  It always is!  It’s different every 100 posts!). Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?

But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different.  Yes.  The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact!  My are we smart!), but just to be sure.  We will have a look inside and see…

Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that.  (I’m all for originality!  Let’s be brave!  Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)

After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door.  Sure enough, the same field was there.  (We should really change the scenery a little bit.  Maybe in a later one, perhaps?  But this is entry 1100!  Maybe we should change it soon…)  I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.)  Clovers and wildflowers.  Pink and red poinsettias.  A sea of color. And with it being light out, everything was different from what I experienced 100 days ago.  (Well, of course it was!  Day 1000 was 100 days ago, with a tower in a field outside a city.  My, was that epic!)

The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance.  A tall structure that looked even taller than before.  Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before.  And quite redundant.  Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger.  We get it.

The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women.  The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure.  The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it.  (Oh please!  The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she?  Well, I never!)

“A pink office building,” I said to myself.  “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”

Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.

I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.

“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure.  (Oh, come on!  You ask her that every single time!  Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)

My Muse shook her head again and smiled.  “No, silly!  This tower is a little different.  And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1001st floor!  Also, I’m the only receptionist here.  All the other receptionists went back to their towers.  Tee hee…”

I nodded, with a slight grin on my face.  And this was mainly due to the deja vu.  “And this floor is still…”

“Floor 1,” she recited.  “ExperiMENTAL.  Tee hee…”

And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.

Upon entering the portal, she was right.  I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby.  But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1001st floor.

Approaching a white colored service desk, I saw a similar Muse sitting there.  But she wasn’t typing.  In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor.  It was only a split second that I saw her typing…

“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced.  “You are on the “ExperiMENTAL 2.0” floor.  This floor is not one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…Tee hee!”

I nodded, and sighed.  “Is she up there?”

My Muse nodded.  “Your Muse?  I think she’s dead, but she’s up there!  Tee hee…”

I then looked at the elevators that were past her desk.  “I would like to go to floor 1100 now.”

At this, my Muse frowned.  “Why?  There are so many good floors!”

I advanced further to the elevators.  I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall.   The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post!  Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them?  Sorry.  It’s not going to happen this time, either.  If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post.  Okay.  If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead.  I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.

There.  After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text,  I have my list.  It’s right here!  I have it on my lap.  Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read.  My favorite floors are:

Floor 1001 – ExperiMENTAL 2.0

This one was included purely for nostalgic reasons.  Remember the first ever Me & My Muse that I ever written?  This is a nice tribute to that, complete with the annoying Muse that we saw in day one.

Floor 1002 – Advancing to Boardwalk – 2016 Edition

Yes, I talk about the Monopoly at McDonald’s contest, but that’s not the reason that I included it.  With a fashion crazed Muse, she will stop at nothing to make sure that my fashion is up to snuff.  Read this, but make sure that your clothes are up to date.

Floor 1006 – Taxed to the Limit – 2016 Edition

Forget taxes when you have what I think is the very best waitress that I ever had.  A fictional one, yes.  But this one has worked hard to make for a very good read.  Read this, but don’t forget to tip her! She has totally earned it.

Floor 1010– A Forum

When you have a conversation with an elvish Muse, things get quite interesting.  Read it and see for yourself.  As for the end, you might want to bring an interpreter who knows the elvish tongues of yore.

Floor 1013B – 1014 – From Superstition to Sweet Sixteen; Sunday Scorcher

With my Muse having so many transformations this 100 day cycle, I get curious about when this happens.  For the following day, I face a teen with attitude.  Go ahead and read.  The worst that you’ll experience is her mood.

Floor 1018 – Not so Lazy Day

You might remember this from my first ever 100 day cycle.  Laziness abounds.  Lots of…laziness.  Hurry and read this…before…forget it.  I’m too lazy to finish this summ

Floor 1025 – Got it Maid

This one is on par with the waitress Muse.  Quite possibly the best maid that you’ll ever see.  She’ll wait on you hand and foot, and she’ll guarantee you a good read.  Read it, because she’s definitely worth it.

Floor 1027 – SaturNESday?

A very short one.  Definitely worth it.  See for yourself.

Floor 1028 – Serene Sunday

How many forms will my Muse transform into?  On this odd day, my Muse transforms into several forms, and that’s just in one minute!  If you have ADD or just love channel surfing, this one is definitely up your alley.  Read this, because variety is the spice of life.

Floor 1030 – Closing the Sale

It’s not so much the title here.  My Muse, who is only a tween feels estranged from the time period she was in.  Nostalgia abounds.  Take a step back in time and enjoy this read.

Floor 1041 – Greetings From Battle Creek!

Why did I include this?  For one thing, I make a correction to the robo-Muse that about to continue its state for the second day in a row.  Then things get old, fast.  Just read the newfangled entry and get off my lawn, you whippersnapper!

Floor 1045 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath

It’s not the pioneer Muse, but the wonderful recap of the Toastmasters spring conference that I attended.  A wonderful hotel with a wonderful room.  The food was amazing.  This place was on fire…but not literally.  Read it and be amazed.

Floor 1049 – Muse of Mystery

Who is this enigmatic Muse of Mystery?  Notes of her origin can be traced back to various important events in history.  While her real name is unknown, she goes by “The Muse”.  She travels through time in a pink phone booth and works alone.  When I think of her race, I can only think of…SPOILERS!  Sorry.  I cannot say anymore.  But if curiosity gets the best of you, go ahead and read this one.  There’s so much epicness here that you just might need a doctor.  Doctor who?  I don’t really know for sure, but if you desire to learn more about this mysterious Muse, go ahead and read it.  It’s bigger on the inside.

Floor 1055 – Like a Child

Children have wonderful imaginations.  But can we harness that for our own benefit?  In this entry, I discuss this subject for a little bit.  I am also greeted by my Muse, but she’s a third grader.  Read this one, and embrace your inner child.

Floor 1056 – Plant vs. Muse

Guess what game I’m referencing with this one?  If you’re in the dark, just look it up.  I discuss zombies being poor at thinking and get attacked by a Muse zombie.  Read this one and grab a pea shooter, just to be safe…They’re coming!

Floor 1062 – Larger than Life

If you remember “Grow Up“, “Growing Pains“, and “Growth Spurt“, it’s kind of like that, only this version features a Muse that is much more mature and grown up.  She just keeps growing…and growing…and growing.  Read this entry before she crushes it.

Floor 1063 – Sunday Short

While this entry was intended to be short, that pretty much went up in flames.  This entry is an inferno.  A fire that can’t be tamed.  What’s with all the fiery references?  Proceed through the embers and find out.  And do be careful.  This one’s hot!

Floor 1065 – A Golden Opportunity

Is there ever such a thing as too much gold?  There is, when you have a solid gold Muse that turns things to gold with everything she touches.  Midas has nothing on this priceless trinket.  Go ahead and read this.  It’s pure gold…literally.  24 karats of goodness.

Floor 1068 – Having a Ball

For not being a fan of this series, I think that I did a pretty decent job with this one.  What ball do I have?  A pokéball, of course!  And what pokémon is my Muse?  Now that would be spoiling the fun if I told you.  Now if you want to be the very best, like no one ever was, gather your supplies and catch this entry while you can.  Gotta read them all!  Gotta read them all! Musémon!

Floor 1071 – Merry MonNESday

What do you get when your Muse is a seeress?  I predict that you will find this one interesting IF you read it.  Some surprises await in the future…

Floor 1072 – Keep it Simple, Stupid

Because there’s nothing simpler than someone who’s an idiot.  This happens to be my Muse, who’s dumber than a sack of potatoes.  This thing is really good, so…duh…read it, okay George?

Floor 1075 – A Dream Come True

Unable to truly awaken, my Muse is in a perpetual state of dreaming.  Every one of her dreams becomes real, so beware.  For all I know, she could still be dreaming right now. Go ahead and read this, and if anything looks surreal around you, you now know why.  We are in her dream…

Floor 1084 – Baby Steps

Why did I choose this one?  It’s not about the thoughtful piece regarding our careful pacing in trying something new.  It’s about that cute little ball of sunshine that I had the misfortune of having to tend to.  She’s a handful, but she’s cute, and she’ll surely win your heart.  Go on and read this quickly.  She’s crawling on my leg…

Wow!  It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought.   I included a little more than last time!  Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list.  But it’s too late now.  Onward to the 1100th floor…

My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.

“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me.  “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”

“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her.  “I lived them!”

To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators.  I then pressed the up button a few times.  Where are the elevators?  With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened.  It just happened to be the one next to me.

I entered the elevator and pressed the 1100 button.  Moments later, the doors closed.

Several moments passed.  At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry.  Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice.  Just enough changes to throw off the audience.  How lazy of him!  Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas?  But Kyle would have none of that.  He is just as determined to bring this eleventh milestone post to an abrupt end.  The good old recycled zinger.  They’ll never notice!  Unless the narrator reminds them

Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1100th floor.  Was my Muse still alive?  Having seen her yesterday, that was totally out of the question.  If she was up here, she would be laying dead on her bed.  Oh, I’m afraid to see what lies ahead…

A little like the 1000th floor before it,  this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated.  A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000.  Pretty much the same room as the 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.

Oh!  We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph!  As much as we want to, we can’t.  It just wouldn’t be right…

And on the bed laid my Muse.  She was in her normal form and…I felt for a pulse.  A heartbeat…and I heard her calmly breathing, fast asleep.  She’s alive!

Being shocked beyond belief, I thought that I lost her.  But there she was, alive and well, resting on her king-sized bed.

There was a note attached to her.  It surprised me that she was sleeping, considering that I thought that I lost her.  Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed.    That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet!  Am I right?  And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!

Attached to her hand was a note.  And this is what it said:

To my master,

I made this tower for you and me.  This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1100.  Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily.  If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written.  I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.

Love,

Your Muse

I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it.  However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors.  I looked at the directory.

 

The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 1001-1100

Floor 1001 – ExperiMENTAL 2.0  Floor 1002 – Advancing to Boardwalk – 2016 Edition  Floor 1003 – Speech Contest – Round 2  Floor 1004 – Toastmasters – Day 3  Floor 1005 – …And it’s Finally Friday  Floor 1006 – Taxed to the Limit – 2016 Edition  Floor 1007 – Life Group – Day One  Floor 1008 – Easy NESday…  Floor 1009 – Warmer Conditions Ahead…  Floor 1010 – A Forum  Floor 1011 – Friday Eve  Floor 1012 – Finally Friday at Last!  Floor 1013 – Saturday Speech Contest  Floor 1013B – From Superstition to Sweet Sixteen Floor 1014 – Sunday Scorcher  Floor 1015 – A Hot NESday…  Floor 1016 – Dough, I missed!  Floor 1017 – WedNESday Bonus  Floor 1018 – Not so Lazy Day  Floor 1019 – Victorious  Floor 1020 – Let the Weekend Begin…  Floor 1021 – Sunday – The Quick Version  Floor 1022 – Another MonNESday…  Floor 1023 – Green Haircut Marathon – 2016 Inaugural Edition  Floor 1024 – WedNESday – For Real This Time!  Floor 1025 – Got it Maid  Floor 1026 – Good Riddance…  Floor 1027 – SaturNESday?  Floor 1028 – Serene Sunday  Floor 1029 – Starting Monday with a Splash  Floor 1030 – Closing the Sale  Floor 1031 – A Non-NESday…  Floor 1032 – Mystery Speech  Floor 1033 – Green Haircut – TGIF Edition  Floor 1034 – Soggy Sunny Saturday  Floor 1035 – Happy Mother’s Day!  Floor 1036 – Monday Meeting  Floor 1037 – Time for TuesNESday…  Floor 1038 – Winding Down…  Floor 1039 – The Weekend has Begun…  Floor 1040 – Keep the Fire Burning!  Floor 1041 – Greetings From Battle Creek!  Floor 1042 – The Spring Conference Recap…  Floor 1043 – MonNESday in May  Floor 1044 – A Smooth Criminal  Floor 1045 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath  Floor 1046 – Spring Conference Speech Preparation  Floor 1047 – Facing the Music  Floor 1048 – Soothing SaturNESday  Floor 1049 – Muse of Mystery  Floor 1050 – MonNESday Aftermath  Floor 1051 – Fat Chance  Floor 1052 – Silence is Golden  Floor 1053 – Tired Thursday  Floor 1054 – Fantastic Friday  Floor 1055 – Like a Child  Floor 1056 – Plant vs. Muse  Floor 1057 – Calming Down…  Floor 1058 – Be Visible  Floor 1059 – A Change of Plans..Floor 1060 – Green Haircut: The Quick Version  Floor 1061 – Flapping Fun Friday  Floor 1062 – Larger Than Life  Floor 1063 – Sunday Short  Floor 1064 – June MonNESday  Floor 1065 – A Golden Opportunity  Floor 1066 – Cell Phone Charger GET!  Floor 1067 – Out of this World  Floor 1068 – Having a Ball  Floor 1069 – Fiery Hot SaturNESday  Floor 1070 – Too Much Coffee  Floor 1071 – Merry MonNESday  Floor 1072 – Keep it Simple, Stupid  Floor 1073 – More Ideas…  Floor 1074 – Sick Day  Floor 1075 – A Dream Come True  Floor 1076 – DEC Training  Floor 1077 – Happy Father’s Day!  Floor 1078 – May the Force be With You  Floor 1079 – Another Tuesday…  Floor 1080 – Alien Where? Floor 1081 – Almost There…  Floor 1082 – Friday Pay Day  Floor 1083 – Early Training is Early  Floor 1084 – Baby Steps  Floor 1085 – Monday GoodNES…  Floor 1086 – More Dancing!  Floor 1087 – Wednesday is Over…  Floor 1088 – Fiscal New Year’s Eve  Floor 1089 – Fantastic Friday  Floor 1090 – Saturday of Solitude  Floor 1091 – Lucky Fourth of July Eve  Floor 1092 – Happy Independence Day!  Floor 1093 – Watered Down  Floor 1094 – Like a Beast  Floor 1095 – Double Your Fun  Floor 1096 – Mystic Quest  Floor 1097 – Three Years and Counting  Floor 1098 – Nursing the Wounds  Floor 1099 – Brain Freeze: Part IV  Floor 1100 – Tower of Muses: The Eleventh Ascent

 

The high today is going to be 92 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1100th post made.

To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Just like entry 1000, she’s right!  The entire entry is typed!  And there’s that message at the end!  Aw…How thoughtful.  I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post.  Oh well…

Now I’ll…What’s going on?  Just like before!  It’s happening once again!  On the bed!  My Muse is flashing…

Me & My Muse – Day 1000: Tower of Muses: The Tenth Ascent

Number 1000

This is it.  Here we go.

Let’s try this out.  If this doesn’t work, you will never see one of these again.  And by these, I mean a post commemorating a millennial milestone.

In a way, I actually am telling the truth.  There is only one 1,000.  And there won’t be another milestone like this until 10,000.

And…let’s see.  How did I ever start one of these in the first place?  How about this?

Creativity.  It is the driving force in the realm of imagination.  Concepts are snowballed together and tightly packed together.  The best ideas are used and seen by all.  They are masterpieces in art galleries.  They are TV shows, movies, music, novels and every form of expression you can think of.

These savory ideas are the gadgets that we use in our everyday lives.  They are the cellphones that we use to communicate with our family and friends.  They are the summer blockbusters that we see in the movie theaters.  They are the best-selling novels that we read while we contently bask in the sun at the beach on a hot summer day.  Whether that novel is it’s original paper form or on a tablet, it all started with one idea.

The things we use.  The clothes we wear.  The packaged food that we…

 

Muse:  Kyle!  Come on!  Am I really seeing this?

Seeing what?  What are you talking about?

Muse:  I can not believe it.  Seriously!  This is entry 1000.  Why would you try to recycle your very first post?

Why not?  Recycling it for this occasion is an excellent idea.  After all, it’s ExperiMENTAL!

Muse:  I see what you did there.  Tee hee…

Is that all you got?

Muse:  What do you mean?

The way that you said “Tee hee”.  You didn’t sound very excited.

Muse:  What else would I do?  It was a really lame pun.

Don’t worry.  I have worse…

Muse:  Please spare me the worse ones!  For my sake and the audience…

Speaking of the audience, do we even have one?

Muse:  Absolutely!  You’ve seen the occasional activity on your Facebook, haven’t you?  “The Walker Estate has 1 new view”.

I saw that.  Your views do not count.

Muse: Ha ha! Nice try.  Now before we bore our audience to sleep,  why don’t you come with me?  I have something to show you…It’s actually kind of exciting…Tee hee!

There!  You said it, and you meant it this time.

Muse: *gives me a kiss on the cheek*  Just follow me.  I have something fun to show you!

And just like that, Kyle followed his Muse into his bedroom.  Not that I would know where this is going, mind you.  But do go on!  This is getting to be quite exciting…

Muse:  Who said that?

It sounded like that narrator.  You know the one…

Muse:  Him again?  Hurry.  Let’s ditch him before he ruins this post.  We only get one shot!

And just like that, my Muse held out her right hand, which began to glow with a bright light.  With that light, she tossed it at a wall in my room.  The light intensified and grew, becoming a flash.  This flash nearly blinded my eyes, so I had to look back for a second.

When l looked back again, the flash had faded into a bright glow.  A door sat there.  A door that looked familiar.  A door that sat in the middle of my bedroom, not attached to any wall.  A door that begged to be opened.

Excuse me!  Who’s trying to tell the story here?  Why I like to think that I do a mighty fine job in narrating, thank you very much!  What’s wrong with me helping on such a magnificent milestone?

I’m very sorry, Mr. Narrator, but we’re trying to ditch you.

Ditch me?  Why would you do such a thing?

Why?  You’re a nuisance.  We really want this one to be special, so keep your distance.

Keep…My distance?  Oh dear.  I don’t know what to say!  That’s too bad.  I know how important this day is to you.  I just wanted to be a part of it.  Very well, then.  I know when I’m not wanted…

Muse:  No.  You can stay.  Just don’t be a nuisance…

Don’t worry about that!  I’m master narrator extraordinaire and I know exactly when to step in.  Carry on, now.

Now where were we?

Muse:  I just created a door in your room.  Let’s go through it!  Come on!

My Muse grabbed me by the hand and took me through the mysterious door that sat in the middle of my room.  Like a familiar door that I have seen before, it was clearly a dimensional portal that was linked to another world.  A distant land that I have visited numerous times now.

This door was the same one that you have seen in every one of these milestone posts.  So why is my Muse so excited this time?  She pulled me through the door and I was amazed.

What I saw in the distance was a glamorous city.  As she let me through the city, I noticed something peculiar.  This city didn’t have normal residents.  It was a city full of Muses.  Various different Muses that I have seen in my past entries.  Older Muses and younger Muses.  Regular Muses and Dark Muses.  Muses all living together in a shimmering cosmopolitan city, with skyscrapers all arranged in various designs.

“Oh look!” I shouted.  “A city!”

And whizzing right past me was a Muse in some weird steam-powered jetpack.  “An invention!” I cried.

My Muse glanced into the sky and saw a jet airliner flying over downtown.  “An airplane!” she shouted.

Then we walked by a pond that marked the entrance to a picturesque city park.  I saw a pair of koi swimming together.  I pointed to one of them.  “Look!” I shouted.  “A fish!”

As we made our way past the pond, we both heard a scream.

“Watch where you’re going!” a tiny voice shouted.

My Muse gasped, noticing that she almost stepped on a woman who was only three inches tall.  “Look Kyle!” she said, smiling.  “A borrower!”

We glanced at the sprawling city park.  The vast acreage carved out a peaceful haven in the middle of all the hustle and bustle that went on in the busy Muse city.  In the center of this park was an oddly shaped castle, that moved around on robotic legs.

Having just noticed the castle, I got my Muse’s attention.  “Do you see it?” I asked her.  “It’s a castle!”

She nodded.  “And it’s moving, too!”

Next to the castle was a building that sat at the eastern edge of the vast city park.  It was a building with steam flowing out of it.  It looked Japanese and was ornately decorated.

“A bathhouse!” My Muse gasped.  Then she gave me a playful nudge and held me close in her arms.  “Do you like this city? I made it just for you.”

I nodded.  “It’s much different than the vast field that I always see.”

She opened her arm and we held hands, walking toward a small cafe.

A Muse barista with purple glasses stood there, eagerly waiting for business.  “May I help you?” she asked, hoping that we would buy something.

My Muse nodded.  “Two extra strong espressos, with plenty of creme and make them vanilla.”

The spectacled Muse barista nodded and quickly prepared our drinks.

A smirk came across my face.  “Why are we having coffee?” I asked her.  “Coffee is NOT for Muses!”

My Muse gave me a slap in the face, and then smiled.  “Why not?” she challenged me.  “Just because one of your earlier blog titles says so?”

The Muse barista handed her the espresso that she asked for and she began slowly sipping it.  “That wasn’t me by the way…”

I recalled the coffee entry that I wrote from a long time ago.  “It was the bad idea, right?”

She nodded. “Come.  I have more to show you.  Don’t forget your coffee!”

I grabbed my cup and followed her through the city.

As we reached the end, the skyscrapers began to diminish and I noticed a field with a looming tower in the distance.  The tower sat in the field, outside the city, like a shy outcast.  The tower dwarfed the valley and the skyline.  It was like the tower was the mother, and the city were the many children that stood there, in the form of numerous shining skyscrapers.

After sipping down half my coffee, I pointed to the tower.  “That tower…” I gasped.  “That’s the Tower of Muses, isn’t it?”

She nodded.  “We’re going there.  That’s the last thing that I made, besides the city.  I hope you enjoy it.”

As we walked through the field, through the night lit sky, I noticed the field began to glow.  Various different flowers flashed their majestic glows as we walked by them.  After that, the flowers all lit up in unison and went out in unison.  A tidal wave of glowing color crashing against the shore.

And then, I heard it.  The ambient music that reflected the majesty of the field.  It was like a dream, transposed into musical notes.  A symphony conveying the peaceful mood of the evening.  The calm tranquil flowers in the lush green field, with the enormous tower watching over them.

We walked forward through the field.  The Muse city getting smaller and smaller and the tower getting bigger and bigger.  Moments later, we were standing right in front of it.

It was a pure white tower.  Whiter than than any white that you have ever seen.  Gold spirals were decorated all around it, with a grand turnstile serving as the entrance.

And just like that, Kyle was overcome with ecstasy.  He could not contain the level of excitement that he had inside of him.  He had so much excitement he could make a whole army of soldiers excited. And before he could even explode with excitement, his Muse took him through the grand turnstile and they both entered…

Nicely timed, narrator!  Just chime in like that and you’ll be fine.

Muse:  Yes.  You can interrupt, but just don’t be too intrusive.

Why thank you!  I will make a note of that!  And just like that, both Kyle and his Muse both praised the narrator on his perfectly timed narration.  But as to not slow the progression of the story any further, the narrator decided to be quiet and allow the two to continue the flow of this wonderful and amazing milestone post.

Well said.  After leaving the turnstile with my Muse, I glanced around the lobby and took it all in.  It was not like the lobby that I have experienced in the previous nine editions.  It was a grand lobby, continuing the pure white theme from outside.  Pure white with pure gold outlining the walls and furniture.

There was a sitting area, with a white loveseat and a few white lounge chairs.  Each chair was outlined in pure gold with a few chestnut oak coffee tables scattered around.

Just ahead of the sitting area sat the grand reception desk.  One large reception desk sat in the center with a ring of nine reception desks encircling it.  Each desk was pure white, with solid gold bows lining the sides.  And like all the previous editions, each desk was occupied by a busy Muse, hard at work, each making rapid strokes on the keyboard.

Out of curiosity, I called the attention of the receptionists. “Might I ask who’s in charge?”

The one in the center desk responded.  “That would be me.  Tee hee!”

I glanced at the circle of desks that surrounded hers.  “What about the others?”

“They all work for me,” she answered.  “Do you want me to introduce you to them?”

“Please do,” I told her.

The Muse receptionist in the center desk got the attention of the other nine Muses.  “Workers!” she shouted.  “Say your name and title for Kyle please!  Tee hee!”

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses!” the first one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Second Ascent!” the second one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Third Ascent!” the third one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fourth Ascent!” the fourth one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fifth Ascent!” the fifth one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Sixth Ascent!” the sixth one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Seventh Ascent!” the seventh one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Eighth Ascent!” the eighth one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Ninth Ascent!” the last one shouted.

My Muse nodded.  “All of them are receptionists from all the past towers that I made.”

“That’s right!” The Muse in the center desk shouted.  “All of them are here for the big celebration.  I asked them to leave their towers and come work for me!  Tee hee!”

“What about the Eleventh Ascent?” I asked her.

“They will all be back in their own towers!” she answered.  “It will just be her!  Tee hee!

Nodding, I glanced at the Tenth Ascent receptionist.  “I know this tower has more bells and whistles, but is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her.

My Muse shook her head again and smiled.  “No, silly!  This tower is a little different.  And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 901st floor!”

I nodded, with a slight grin on my face.  And this was mainly due to the deja vu from all the previous nine editions of this tower that I have experienced in the past.  “And this floor is still…”

“Floor 1,” she recited.  “ExperiMENTAL.  Tee hee…”

I was about to approach the teleporter, but my Muse thrust her hands against my side.  “No! Wait!” she shouted.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“Let’s take the long scenic route!” she said with a glowing smile.

“Scenic? Tee hee?” the center Muse receptionist said, grinning.  “Normally, the elevators here take you up 100 floors.  Then you have to go to the next elevators to go up 100 more floors…”

“No!” I shouted.  “Don’t you have something more simple?”

“Tee hee!” she sighed.  “I wasn’t finished!  Now, normally you would have to keep going up 100 floors.  But there’s some special elevators in the back that will take you up all the way to the 901st floor!  Just enter the floor on the touch screen and it will take you there!  It’s the latest!  Tee hee!”

“We’ll use those elevators, then.” I told her.  “Thanks!”

The center Muse receptionist nodded.  “Anytime!  Tee hee!  Have fun!”

I followed my Muse to the special elevators in the back.  They had glass doors and you could see through them.

“You could’ve asked me, and I could’ve told you about the special elevators!” she said, playfully nudging me.  “After all, I designed this…Now Kyle, quick!”

I nodded, and approached the elevator panel.  The urgency was on her face.  She wanted to kiss me.  I could tell.  But she didn’t want her day one counterparts to hear anything.

I quickly pressed the up button and one of the eight elevators instantly opened.  She pressed 10 on the touch screen and then enter.  The elevator doors closed and she began to kiss me on the lips incessantly.

“Easy!” I shouted.  “There are people watching!”

“I don’t care.” she said, between kisses.  “You deserve it.  The only one that has ever kissed you was your mother.  Don’t you want to be kissed by a woman?”

I nodded.  “Yes.” I told her.  “A real woman.”

She cupped her hand underneath my chin.  “You’re real to me in this world.  I made this tower and you made me.  Don’t you want to be with me?  You need some serious dating practice.  What kind of real woman would want to be with you if you’re ill equipped?  Practice your affections on me.”

I nodded.  “Okay.  Kissing only. But the clothes stay on!”

She nodded.  “That would be embarrassing, Kyle.  I am not going to embarrass you.  Although I am a fictional character, I am very modest.”

The elevator floor dinged and it opened.

“Floor 10?” I smiled.  “Why do we need to get more coffee?  Afterall, Coffee is NOT for Muses!”

She nodded.  “But I LOVE coffee!  Now, are you going to deny me of my craving for coffee?”

I shook my head.  “Very well…let’s make it quick!”

We walked up to a Starbucks cafe and a Muse took her order.  She was about to order 2 Venti vanilla cappuccinos, but I stopped her.

“One!” I told her.  “I don’t want any coffee this time…”

She shook her head.  “If you don’t want yours, I’ll drink it!  More for me!”

The Muse barista gave my Muse two Venti vanilla cappuccinos and she began drinking both of them in front of me.

“Okay.” I told her.  “That’s enough.  Too much and we’ll have to stop at a bathroom…”

She finished both cappuccinos and smiled.  She threw both cups away and stared at me with her caffeine induced smile.

“One more!” she shouted.  She ordered the same thing as before and drank it in front of me.

“Enough.” I told her.  “You are going to pee your pants.”

She shook her head.  “A few more…”

“I think you have a problem,” I told her.

She ignored me and drank down three more cups.

After she ordered five more and drank them, I stopped her from ordering anymore.  “Stop!” I told her.  “You have a serious addiction to coffee!”

“No I don’t!” she shouted.  “Don’t you feel it?  It’s amazing!  It’s exciting!  The energy! The thrill! The excitement! The ecstasy!  The burst of energy I get from every cup!  I love it!  It’s great! It’s exciting! It’s grand! It’s awesome!  Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! I love coffee!  I love co…

My Muse collapsed on the ground and began to have an accident.  Her accident formed a large puddle all over the ground.

Everyone.  I will be right back.  I am not going to gross you out with any additional details.

*a few minutes later*

There.  I got My Muse into some new clothes but she’s still unconscious.  I’ll get her to the elevator.  I think that this floor is affecting her in some way…

I carried my Muse in my arms and took her back to the elevator.  I pressed the up button and entered the elevator.  I then sat my Muse on the floor.  I pressed 14 on the touch screen and pressed enter.  The elevator door closed and she woke up.

“Kyle?” she gasped.  “I’m very sorry.  That floor…It had a very weird affect on me…”

“I could tell!” I told her.  “When we had coffee in that city, you didn’t act like that at all!”

She nodded.  “It was definitely that floor.  It was like I was a totally different person.  I can’t really explain it.  That was so embarrassing…”

The floor dinged and it opened once again.  The music from “Resistance” began playing.

While I heard the music playing, I heard another Muse joyfully singing along.

Muse: It could be wrong, could be wrong but it should have been right!

My Muse glanced at me and smiled.  “I love that song!” She glanced at the Muse that was still singing the song.  “You.  Would you like to come with us?”

Muse:  Sure!  Can I bring my phone with me?  There’s only one song on the playlist.  “Love is our Resistance!”

Wow.  You really love that song!  You can come along.

The Muse began playing “Resistance” for a second time and got on the elevator with us.

She then ran up to the touch screen and pressed 78, and then enter.

Being a little hazy on my floors, I tried to think what floor 78 was.  I racked my brain all the while the other Muse was singing “Resistance” and dancing to the beat.

My Muse tried to help me out.  “Could it be?”

Ding!  The elevator door opened and we left it.

How did we get here in the first place?  Our brains flipped around.  Just like last time, we’ll leave in reverse! I know!  How do we leave if everything is backwards?

And everything was backwards since we were on the “Stuck in Reverse” floor.  When we tried to leave, we couldn’t, since we came to the realization that everything was backwards.  Was it that Muse from the 14th floor?  Who pressed that button?  I don’t want to be here!  This is not the right floor!  The Muse from the 14th floor pressed 84 on the touch screen and then enter.  Knowing this, me, my Muse and the other Muse re-entered the elevator.  The “Stuck in Reverse” floor.  We were on the 78th floor.  It was just as I feared.

Being once again surprised, the elevator moved upwards.  As it moved towards the 84 floor, me and my Muse exchanged glances.

“Why are we going to the 84th floor?” I asked her.

“I know,” she said, smiling.  “That’s the ‘Baby Muse’ floor.  I don’t really want to deal with a child right now…”

Just as the words left her mouth, the elevator dinged and opened.

The baby Muse, looking shy, walked in bashfully. She sat down, and smiled.  “Uh oh!” she shouted.

I glanced down and noticed why she said it.  A drop of urine dripped down from under her dress to the floor.  Uh oh indeed!

I glanced at my Muse, who shook her head.

“I’m not changing her!” she shouted.

“Don’t worry!” the other Muse shouted.  “I will.”

The other Muse stopped her music.  “It’s okay.” she told us.  “I’m going to be babysitting her.  It’s going to be fun!”  She removed her clothes and began to change her diaper.

While that was going on, I decided where I wanted to go next.  I pressed 182 on the touch screen and pressed enter.  The elevator continued moving upward.

Just as the other Muse finished putting on the baby Muse’s diaper, she lept up and began running around.  As it was, the other Muse had to pin her to the ground a few times, as she tried to squirm away.

“Wait!” The other Muse shouted.  “I need to get your pants on!”

“I fine with this, mommy!” she shouted.

She shook her head.  “But you need some pants!”

But she shook her head and laughed.  “I fine with this, mommy!”

As that Muse was losing in her efforts to catch the baby Muse, the elevator continued going up.

Ding!  Suddenly, the elevator stopped, just as the other Muse caught the baby Muse.

“Gotcha!” she shouted.  She put her pants on and then her socks.

I glanced at the floor number.  138B.  Wait a second!  I didn’t stop the elevator.

Another Muse got on.  A much younger one, who looked like she was five.

“Tee hee!” she shouted.  I’m back!”

My Muse gasped.  “S-stay away from me!”

That’s when I realized that the little girl Muse was the Dark Muse.

“Leave her alone!” I shouted.

The Dark Muse advanced forward.  “What am I doing wrong? I just wanted to visit my home.  Tee hee!”

“No!” My Muse shouted.  “Get away…”

The Dark Muse entered her.

“Get out of her this instant!” I shouted.

At this, the baby Muse started to cry.

“It’s okay.” the other Muse said, consoling her.

“I like it here.  Tee hee!” My Muse said.

And suddenly, my Muse became five years old.

I glared at her with anger.  “Leave her this instant or I will make you!” I shouted.

“Make me!” My Muse shouted.

Meeting her challenge, I used my Master’s Privileges to reach into my Muse and pull out the Dark Muse.

“Tee hee!” she shouted.  “Hey! What are you doing? Put me down!  Tee hee!”

“Leave her alone and apologize.” I demanded.

“Okay!” she shouted.  “I’m sorry.  I just wanted to visit my home.  Okay?” *sniff* *sniff*

Ding!  The elevator stopped on the 182nd floor and the doors opened.  Me, my Muse got off with the other Muse and baby Muse.

“I’m going to the 1000th floor!” the Dark Muse told us.  “See you there! Tee hee!”

The elevator door closed, leaving all of us in a vast area filled with snow.

“Hey!” the other Muse shouted playfully to the baby Muse.  “Let’s go play in the snow! Okay?”

“Okay!” the baby Muse said, smiling.

The other Muse used her Intangible abilities to create warm clothes for the baby Muse to wear.  A warm coat, snow pants, boots, gloves and a scarf.

Meanwhile, my Muse glanced at me with a puzzled look on her face.  “Why are we here?” she asked me.

I wiped the sweat off my brow.  “I just needed to cool off.” I told her.  “Anyway, using a snow blower still is NOT cheating!”

She nodded.  “But we don’t have to shovel this snow! Let’s go.”

I nodded, and followed my Muse back to the elevator.  She pressed the up button.  The elevator door opened to the right of us and we both entered it.

My Muse walked over to the touch screen and pressed some buttons.  The elevator doors closed and it continued upward.

“What floor did you put in?” I asked her.

My Muse smiled.  “It’s a surprise,” she told me.  “You’ll see…”

I embraced my Muse, and we held each other in our hands.  Moments later, the elevator stopped.  Ding!

I glanced at the floor number.  Floor 221.  Happy Hallmark Day.

Suddenly, a Muse stood there, greeting both of us.  She was holding a big heart-shaped box of chocolates.  She handed the box to me.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Kyle!” she said, smiling.

I looked at the calendar.  It’s not actually Valentine’s Day, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings…

“Thanks,” I told her.

She glanced at the Muse that I was with.  “You two have fun on the way up! The chocolates are for both of you.”

“Why thanks!” told her.

By the time that those words left my mouth, my Muse already had two chocolates in her mouth.

“What?” she said, with her mouth full of chocolates.  “She said that they were for both of us, right?”

I smiled and gave her a kiss.  “You wanted to stop on this floor to get some chocolates.  Am I right?”

My Muse smiled, shaking her head.  “Um-um…”

“Admit it!” I told her, giving her another kiss.

She nodded.  “I was in the mood for chocolate, so why not?” She then glanced at the touch screen.  “Where to next?”

With that question posed to me, I quickly began thinking of where we could go next.  I then thought of my old phone that I used to have.  How about that floor?  I pressed 348 on the touch screen and pressed enter.

“Have fun!” the Muse on the 221st floor told us.  The two doors closed and we were off.

A little while later, the elevator stopped, but it was no where near the floor I chose.  Someone else stopped it, and it was on the 261st floor.

Another Muse got on.  This Muse was five years old and looked like a brat.

“Out of my way!” The Dark Muse sassed.

I sighed.  “What are you doing here?”

The Dark Muse closed her eyes.  “It’s a surprise, and I’m not telling!  Tee hee!

The elevator continued upward, and I glanced at my Muse, who was rather quiet about this whole matter.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” I asked her.

My Muse smiled.  “She won’t bother us.  I can assure you.  Isn’t that right?”

The Dark Muse nodded.  “She paid me good money to be nice to you so you better be grateful!”

I frowned.  “Good money?  What is this all about?”

My Muse wrapped her arm around my shoulder.  “Don’t you know what’s going on?  I’ve shown you that city and I’ve shown you this tower.  Must I tell you anymore?  Just wait and see!

The elevator stopped again.  It was the 311th floor.  Another Dark Muse got on, but took slow and bashful steps.

The other Dark Muse sighed.  “Come on!” she shouted.  “You don’t need to be shy!  We’ll have a lot of fun!  I promise!  Tee hee!”

The shy Dark Muse nodded, and walked toward the back of the elevator.  She sat down and closed her eyes, trying to avoid eye contact with any of us.

“Whoa!” I shouted.  “It’s a good thing that I have Master’s Privileges!  Otherwise, I would be losing all that confidence!”

The elevator moved upward and finally stopped on the floor that I entered.  The 348th floor.

Me and my Muse both got off, while the two Dark Muses stayed on.

“See you at the top!” the bratty Dark Muse shouted.

The elevator door closed and it was just me and My Muse.  On the “New Phone” floor, my Muse decided to get a new phone for herself.  She turned on her phone and began downloading a bunch of apps.

“Let’s go,” I told her.

“Hang on,” my Muse told me.  “I need to update my Facebook status.”

“Can you put that phone down?” I said, growing impatient.  “You never had a phone before!”

She nodded.  “I know!  But all my friends have one, and now I need one!”  She continued pressing buttons and staring at the screen.

I pressed the up button on the elevator.  The door opened.  “Let’s go!” I shouted.

“Hang on!” My Muse shouted.  “I need to take another selfie!”

The elevator door closed.  I pressed the up button and it opened again.  “Let’s go!”

“I just need to send this to a few of my friends!” she told me.  “And…wait!  One of them just invited me to a Snapchat.  Hang on!”

That did it.  I yanked the phone out of her hand and smashed it against the floor.

“Hey!” she shouted.  “What did you do that for! Now I’ll have to get another one!”

“Oh no you don’t!” I argued.   I grabbed hold of her hand and tugged her into the elevator.  I pressed 471 on the touch screen and pressed enter.  The elevator doors closed and it moved upward.

My Muse hugged me.  “Thanks Kyle. I don’t know what came over me.  It was like that Coffee floor.  It was so weird…”

A minute later, the elevator stopped again, but on the 401st floor. A different Muse got on the elevator.  She was smiling, and she walked on gracefully.

The elevator continued upward.  The other Muse looked at me with a friendly smile.  “Hi Kyle!” she said politely.  “I’m the receptionist from the 401st floor.  How has your day been going so far?  If you need any prayer, just let me know.”

My Muse whispered something into her ear.  Upon hearing this, she nodded.  “Okay…” she whispered back.  “I will definitely pray about that!” She then looked at me.  “Kyle, do you need any prayer?  Just give me your request and I will pray for you.”

I nodded.  “Pray that we have a safe trip up.  This tower is pretty tall.  More than two miles tall…”

The virtuous Muse nodded.  “Definitely.  Let’s all hold hands and close our eyes.”

We all followed her directions and she began her prayer.

“Dear heavenly father,” she prayed.  “Thank you for this wonderful day that you have blessed us with.  Thank you for Kyle and his Muse, and the wonderful friendship that they have been able to share with each other.  As we make our journey to the top of this tower, bless all of us with a safe journey.  Should any troubles await us, give us the patience, courage and strength to overcome these troubles.  Thank you for your son, Jesus Christ dying on the cross for all of us.  Thank you for your love and mercy that you have lavished on each one of us.  Bless us with your presence and bless us with your love.  We all ask this in Jesus name, Amen.”

“Amen.” both me and my Muse repeated.

The elevator finally stopped. Ding!

It was the 471st floor.  The door opened and I got off with my Muse.  The virtuous Muse stayed on the elevator.

“Have a blessed day!” the virtuous Muse shouted.  “I’ll see both of you later!”

After the elevator door closed, I glanced at my Muse.  “Do you know why I’m here?” I asked her.

She gave me a curious stare.  “Why?”

I scooped up a handful of leftover game pieces from the Monopoly at McDonald’s contest.  “I’m hungry.” I told her.

I gave her a few game pieces and we both walked to a nearby McDonald’s.  A Muse waited on us and we used nothing but game pieces to buy our meal.  We both used “Free Any Large Sandwich”, “Free Medium Fry” and “Free Regular McFlurry” for dessert.  The only thing that we had to pay for was our medium drinks.

I finished my Reese’s McFlurry and threw it away.  “Are you done?”

My Muse finished her Oreo McFlurry and threw it away.  “Yup!  Let’s go.”

We both got back in the elevator and I sighed.  “At this rate, we’ll never get to the top.  It’s time to cut to the chase!” I pressed 777 on the touch screen and pressed enter.

The elevator continued upward.

My Muse gave me a curious glance.  “What if we keep stopping on other floors?  You won’t get to floor 777 right away.”

“Don’t say that.” I pleaded.

She grinned.  “Why not?”

“Because if you do, then it will happen.”

Right after I said that, the elevator stopped.  Floor 524.  Ding!

“See?” I told her.  “You jinxed it.”

“Tee hee!” A Muse shouted.  “Jinx what? Merry Christmas!  Tee hee!”

A fairy Muse flew inside the elevator and it continued upward.

The fairy Muse frowned at me.  “Now what is this jinx you’re talking about? Tee hee!”

“First, tell me why you said ‘Merry Christmas!’,” I demanded.  “It’s April, for goodness sake!”

“Well on my floor, it’s still December, okay?” the fairy Muse answered.  “Now spill it about this jinx thing!”

Ding!  The elevator stopped again on the 549th floor.

“That,” I pointed out.  “My Muse told me that we would keep stopping on floors and I wouldn’t get to my floor right away.”

A Dark Muse got onto the elevator and smiled.  “A fairy home?  This will be fun to live in!  Tee hee!”

The elevator moved upward, and the fairy Muse flew up towards the ceiling of the elevator.

“You’re an annoying little girl!”  the fairy Muse shouted.  “Get away! Tee hee!”

But the Dark Muse didn’t give up.  She jumped up and entered the fairy Muse.

The fairy Muse then flashed briefly.  “I’m home! Tee hee!”

The fairy Muse (who was already tiny to begin with) shrank as she transformed into a five-year old.  “There! Tee hee!  Now I’m acting my age!”

The elevator once again stopped.  Only this time, the door didn’t open.  What’s going on?

The elevator door began to ice over, with icicles forming on the ceiling.

My Muse gasped.  “I believe that it has something to do with where we are.  Look!”

I looked at the floor number.  We were on the 591st floor.  If memory serves me right, that is the “BRRR!!!!” floor.

“Wasn’t that the day where it got to minus 1?” my Muse asked me.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m c-c-c-COLD! Tee hee!” the fairy Muse shouted.  “Let me out of here!”

The fairy Muse flew up to the door, which was becoming more and more frozen.  The ice that was on the door began spreading outward, toward the floors and the walls of the elevator.

“The door’s frozen shut!” I shouted.  “Let’s get out of here quick before this becomes a giant ice cube!”

I glanced at the fairy Muse and sighed.  “Can’t you use your fairy powers to thaw the ice?”

My Muse looked at me, almost laughing.  “Can’t you use YOUR Master’s privileges to thaw the ice?”

My face turned red with embarrassment.  “Oh yeah…”

The fairy Muse smiled.  “That’s right! Tee hee!  Here I go!  And thaw!  Wait? Why isn’t it working?   Oh yeah!  Mommy told me this!  You have to make a wish first! Tee hee!”

I shook my head.  “Forget that.” I told her.   “I’m using my privileges to thaw the ice!”

I used my Master’s Privileges and waved my hand at the frozen elevator.  All the ice melted.  The door was still closed.

“Open!” I shouted, using the privileges.

The door immediately opened.  “Now I’ll…wait!” I gasped.  “This isn’t right…”

“The elevator isn’t lined up with the next floor!” my Muse shouted.

I glanced at the fairy Muse.  “Here,” I told her.  “I wish that you could fly us both up the elevator shaft to the 591st floor!”

“Um Kyle?” my Muse smiled.  “I’m Intangible, so I can fly!”

“It’s too late!” the fairy Muse shouted.  “He made the wish! Tee hee!  Your wish is my command! Tee hee!”

The fairy Muse flew us both a few feet up the elevator shaft to the 591st floor and opened the door.  On her way back down to the elevator, she looked up.  “A bunch of the cables are all icy!  Tee hee!”

“WHAT?” I gasped.  “The entire elevator shaft is starting to freeze!”

I glanced around the floor, which was a Winter wonderland full of ice and snow.  Not so for the elevator shaft.  I used my privileges to thaw the elevator shaft.

“Unfreeze!” I shouted.

Chunks of slush and water began falling downward.  And just like that, the cables started working again.  The elevator moved upward without stopping.

“Wait!” I shouted.  “That was our elevator…” I pressed the up button. “I guess we’ll have to catch another one…”

Another elevator opened and we entered it.  I pressed 777 on the touch screen and pressed enter.

The elevator moved upward, and my Muse gasped.

“Kyle!” she gasped.

“What?” I said, frowning.  “What are you so worried about?”

“We’re in the 600’s!” she shouted.  “What it we encounter that evil Muse?”

Just as she finished that sentence, the elevator stopped again.  That’s my Muse, having perfect timing like usual!

On the 654th floor, the elevator door opened.  A new Dark Muse stepped on, and she had a very devious look on her face.

“Hello!” she shouted.  “Let’s play a game! If you don’t play a game with me, I will crush you!  Tee hee!”

The elevator sped upward.  Before I could even begin any game with her.  The elevator stopped again.  Ding!

The elevator stopped on floor 666.

The Dark Muse flashed a bright, glowing crimson color.  “Ahhh…HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!” she shouted gleefully.

She morphed into a gruesome creature.  Her head became like that of a fearsome dragon with scales all over her.  Five additional heads emerged out and began hissing like venomous vipers.

“HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!” she shouted.  “I will kill you!  I will kill you all!”

She made the elevator we were in vanish and we were in a different realm.  The realm of the 666th floor.

In this realm, both me and my Muse, seemed to be floating on air.  Her form now looked gigantic, with us looking like tiny specs to her.

She made us fly forward, towards her.  “HISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Time to kill some ants!  Ha ha ha ha ha!!!”

My Muse hid herself in my arms.  “Quick Kyle!” she shouted.  “What are we going to do?”

“Don’t worry,” I told her.  “I’ve got some thing planned.”  I waved my hands at the room.  FLASH!

“Ha!” she laughed.  “What did you do?  I didn’t see a single thing change!  Now, it’s time to die!”

Just as she was about to use her powers, her energy began to fade.

“Into the abyss with you!” I shouted.  “And stay there!”

The Evil Muse was flung into the abyss, with the dimensional vortex closing behind her.  “NOOOOOOOO!!!”

I brushed my hands off and smiled. “That was easy!”

My Muse kissed me and laughed.  “What did you do?”

“When you saw that flash, I made the 666th floor the 667th floor.” I told her.  “With that small change, she lost most of her power.  Now, let’s get to the 777th floor already!”

We walked to the elevator doors and my Muse pressed the up button.  We got on another elevator and I pressed the 777 and enter once again on the touch screen.

The elevator continued its ascent.  With all the troubles that I have experienced so far, I closed my eyes, praying that we would stop on the 777th floor this time…

Ding!  I opened my eyes.  Was I right?

I looked at the floor.  It was the 750th floor.  Almost!

Another Dark Muse got on, with this one looking like an angel.  The elevator door closed and we continued our upward journey.

The Dark Angel Muse looked at my Muse and smiled.  “You may not be an angel, but you look yummy! Tee hee!”

My Muse backed away from her.  “Stay away!” she shouted.  “You already have the power of three Muses, and you’re not about to get a fourth one!

Ignoring her, the Dark Angel Muse absorbed my Muse into her and she grew and flashed brightly.

“So yummy! Tee hee!” she shouted.

Ding!

The elevator finally stopped on the 777th floor.  However, with my Muse trapped inside the Dark Angel Muse, I will have to get her back first.

I got off the elevator and found Gabrielle.  She was flashing very brightly, since it was the “Day of 777”.

“Gabrielle!” I shouted.  “We need to stop the Dark Angel Muse before she…”

“Tee hee!” the Dark Angel Muse shouted.  “Another angel!  Tee hee!”

“Don’t worry!” Gabrielle said, smiling.  “It’s the ‘Day of 777′.  I’m way more powerful than her!”

At that, the Dark Angel Muse absorbed Gabrielle inside herself. She grew even more and flashed brightly.

“So yummy!” she shouted.  “Tee hee!”

This made me furious.  Having finally gotten to this floor, I’m not about to let it get spoiled by an childish power-hungry cherub.  Master’s privileges, engage!  Shift to second person!  Give me my Muse and Gabrielle back!

*reaches into Dark Angel Muse and pulls out my Muse and Gabrielle*

Muse:  Thanks Kyle!

She still has more.

*reaches into Dark Angel Muse and pulls out other Muses, Gabrielle’s friends and her realm*

There!  Do the honors, Gabrielle!

Gabrielle: Gladly, Kyle!

*Gabrielle flings the Dark Angel Muse back to the elevator*

Gabrielle:  There.  Now, where are you all going?  I’m on my way up to the top.

To the top?  That’s where we’re going.  Oh, and shift back to first person!

My Muse nodded.  “Let’s go with you! We can all go in the same elevator!”

And that is just what we did.  We all walked back with Gabrielle to the elevators.  I pressed the up button and we all got on it.

Before I could press any button, my Muse pressed 835 and enter on the touch screen.  The elevator zoomed upward.

“Where are we going?” I asked her.

“Be prepared to be geeked out!” she said with a smile.

Gabrielle shrugged her shoulders.  “I don’t know what floor you’re going to, but I’m going all the way to the top.”

Suddenly, the elevator stopped on the 787th floor.  Torrents of water began bursting in and the elevator began filling with water.

“Not again!” I shouted.  “First, frozen water.  Now, actual water!”  I let out a deep sigh.  “I don’t have time for this!  Master’s privileges, engage!  Empty outside the tower!  NOW!”

Just as the water was about to fill to the ceiling, the water vanished, and was flushed out of the tower.

My Muse gasped.  “What was that floor, by the way?”

I glanced at the floor that we stopped on.  “787,” I told her.  “Flash flood.”

The elevator continued upward and finally stopped on the 835th floor.  I got off with my Muse while Gabrielle stayed on.

“See you at the top!” Gabrielle shouted.

Both of us nodded as the elevator doors closed.

I glanced at floor 835.  I saw a DeLorean parked nearby, and then it hit me.  This was the “Welcome to the Future, Marty!” floor.

“Nice,” I said with a smile.  “October 21, 2015.  4:29 p.m.”

I then glanced at the elevator.  “Can we go now?”

My Muse nodded.  “I just thought that we should one more pit stop before the 901st floor.”

“It was a nice one,” I told her.  I pressed the up button and the elevator door opened.   We both walked on the elevator and my Muse pressed 886 and enter on the touch screen.

“You said one more!” I said with a frown.

“We need to pick up Fat Muse!” she told me. “I told her that I would pick her up!”

The elevator zoomed upward to our final destination.  Floor 886.

Moments later, the elevator door opened.  The Fat Muse stepped on with a big smile.

“You’re late!” she shouted.  “Just kidding!  I hope this elevator doesn’t have a weight limit, ’cause big momma’s coming!  Ha ha!”

She jumped into the elevator, which made the whole elevator shake.

“To the 901st floor!” I shouted, pressing 901 and enter on the touch screen.  “Please don’t jump like that again.  You could’ve broke the elevator.”

The fat Muse nodded.  “But I didn’t, did I?  I trust Little Miss Toothpick over there.  She made this elevator strong and study, just for me!  Ha ha!  Now if you would excuse me, I’m going to have a little snack…”

The fat Muse reached into the folds of her belly and pulled out an extra large supreme pizza, which she consumed in seconds.

Ding!  This was it.

And all of a sudden, for what seemed like a mere eternity, Kyle and his Muse finally reached the 901st floor.  Both Kyle and his Muse left with the morbidly obese fat Muse and approached the lobby.  Oh, Kyle could not wait to put an ending to this amazing milestone!  No recycled zinger would do.  Why, that would be unheard of in writing a monumental milestone of this magnitude.  This wham-bam thank you ma’am show-stopping epic zinger would be 100% original and would stand out from all the rest.  That’s how to conclude a millennial post the right way, isn’t it?

As to not completely drag out this narrative any longer than what it should be, the narrator knew his place and became silent out of respect for Kyle and his beloved Muse.

I began clapping and my Muse clapped with me.  “That was amazing.” I told the unseen narrator.  “That was properly timed and completely unintrusive.”

Why thank you!  Now carry on, as I am very eager to see how this wonderful and magnificent milestone ends.

I nodded.  “Will do!”

After thanking the narrator, I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby.  My Muse and the Fat Muse followed.

“You two enjoy yourselves!” the fat Muse shouted.  “This honey is heading to the top!  There’s something big up there, and it’s bigger than me!  Ha ha!”

The fat Muse proceeded to the elevators, while me and my Muse took our time.

In examining the lobby, I noticed that it had no exit, since this was the 901st floor.

I approached a pure white service desk laced with solid gold bows.  A different Muse was sitting there, typing away.  She then looked up and smiled.  She wore a cape, and looked like a superhero.

“Welcome Kyle,” she announced.  “You are on the ‘Christmas Aftermath and a Super Muse’ floor.  I love this floor, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…Mighty Muse!”

Ahem!  Don’t you remember my suggestion?  You’re The Mighty Mistress, remember?

“That’s right!” the receptionist said, smiling.

I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk.  “I would like to go to floor 1000 now.”

At this, my Muse smiled.  “Be my guest! I’ll be up there shortly.  I just need to close things down around here…”

I advanced further to the elevators.  I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall.  Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them?  Sorry.  It’s not going to happen this time, either.

My Muse shook her head.

Muse:  No!  We are going to visit a few more floors!

But…

Muse:  Kyle, this is entry #1000!  You will never get another chance to do this again!  Now come on!  What do you say?

Alright.  We’ll visit a few more floors.  To commemorate this special anniversary, we’ll do so.

And just like that, I pressed the up button and we entered the elevator, making the final trip to all of my favorite floors.

I pressed 915 and the elevator zoomed upward.  Moments later, the elevator stopped.  Ding!

My Muse frowned.  “Why did we stop here?” she asked me.

I scratched my head, as I examined the floor.  There was slush everywhere.  All the snow was melting into slush.  “It might have to do with the next floor,” I told her.  “Let’s go.”

We got back into the elevator and my Muse pressed 916.  After it went up one floor, we exited.  Sure enough, there was snow everywhere.

“That’s it!” I shouted.  “The previous floor was ‘Slushy Saturday’ and this one is ‘Snowy Sunday’. I guess that I liked the contrast between the two floors.”

My Muse shrugged her shoulders.  “Well, let’s go to the next one…”

We entered the elevator and I pressed 919.  It went up three floors and we exited it.

I smiled.  “Can You Hear It?”  I asked my Muse.

“You mean this?”  My Muse asked me, playing the infernal sound of drums.

“No!” I screamed.  “Not that!  Anything but that!  Stop that sound this instant!”

My Muse nodded.  “You don’t want to hear them? Fine.”  She turned the sound off.

“I am not talking about drums,” I told her.  “It’s the sound of your passion.  Can you hear it?”

“Yes,” My Muse told me.  “Can we go to the next floor?”

“Certainly.”

Listening to her request, we got back in the elevator.  I pressed 930.

Just moments later, the elevator door opened.  This was the “Sunday of Solitude” floor.

“Oh, I remember this one!” My Muse shouted.  “This was when I noticed that my powers were missing…”

I nodded.  “This was also where I talked about my spiritual gifts class.  I’m guessing that’s why I decided to add it.  It’s really worth reflecting on.”

We got back on the elevator.  Before I could press anything, my Muse pressed 949.  I just so happen to know what that floor was.  It’s the “A Single Challenge” floor.

“Any reason why we need to go here?” I asked her.

“I think that it’s good to reflect on your dilemma in being single,” she answered.  “It’s a well written piece, and a fond memory of mine.”

Ding!  The elevator stopped once again and the door opened.

There I was, another copy of myself talking to another copy of my Muse about my single dilemma.  From the exchange that I heard, my Muse was really good in giving advice.

“Your readiness will come with time,” my Muse told me, when she saw that I was overhearing the conversation.”

I gave my Muse a kiss.  “It certainly will,” I said with a smile.  “It certainly will.”

We got back on the elevator and I pressed 961.  “I’m a little curious about this one,” I told her.

“Oh,” My Muse said, scratching her head. “What is that one?  Oh yeah!  ‘Snowy Conditions Ahead…’?  That’s right!  That’s where I kind of…yeah.”

Ding!  The elevator stopped and we both got off.

“You kind of what?” I asked, looking impatient.

“I kind of had to fake what I was saying so that you wouldn’t suspect anything!” she said, looking very bashful.  “I…was totally different.  After Tee Hee Girl tagged me, her DNA slowly began to multiply until I transformed into her.  There wasn’t a strand of me left, except a hollow shell.  One that she used to pretend to be me…”  My Muse started to break down.  *sniff*  *sniff*  “I’m very…sorry…”

I patted my Muse on the back.  “Don’t be ashamed.” I told her.  “You were under Tee Hee Girl’s control.  There was nothing you could do.  But my, did she do a splendid job at pretending to be you!”

She nodded.  “I know.  To be honest, it actually felt weird being me when I was her.  That’s how much of me she took.  All of it.  I was completely her.  Another Tee Hee Girl that was doing the Dark Damsel’s bidding…”

I stared at my Muse directly in the eyes.  “But none of it was your fault, okay?  Don’t feel guilty about something that she did.  You had no control at all.  The important thing is that I rescued you and you’re safe now.  The One Privilege restored who you are.  Otherwise, you would still be Tee Hee Girl…”

My Muse nodded, wiping away all of her tears.  “You’re right.  Enough about the past.  Let’s go.  There’s a few more floors that I want to visit!”

We got on the elevator and my Muse, laughing, pressed 966.   The elevator began upward.

“Where are we going now?” I asked her.

“It’s one of my favorite floors!” she shouted.

Ding!  I stepped outside.  Where are we now?

“Why is this your favorite?” I asked her.  I looked at the floor number.  “Oh.  ‘Happy Leap Day!’?”

We both got out of the elevator.  My Muse transformed herself into an eight-year old.

“Yeah!” she shouted.  “I love Leap Day!  Isn’t it amazing?  Tee hee!”

I nodded.  “I love it, too.  I also love how you’re eight years old, even though you’re not born on February 29th!  You were born on August 12th, the same day as me!  Come on!”

“Can I have some fun?” she pleaded.  “Or do I have to be an adult all the time?”

“Who said that any of us are adults?” I asked her.  “An adult is only a larger version of a kid.  It’s just a different name.  The person that we are is the same.  We’re just older.

“Not to mention more EXPERIENCED!” she shouted,  as she gave me a playful shove.  “Leap! Leap! Leap!  C’mon Kyle!  Leap with me!”

I looked ahead of myself, trying to envision the audience.  “Do I really have to?”

“Leap or we’re not leaving this floor!” she threatened.

Letting out a deep sigh, I shrugged my shoulders and began leaping with her.

“There!” she shouted.  “That’s better!  Tee hee!  Just think about the kids that you’re gonna have some day!  What if you have a daughter?  Don’t you want to make her happy?”

I glimpsed at my eight-year old Muse again and nodded.  “I see your point,” I told her.  “If I’m going to have kids, I should at least know how to play with them.”

“Yeah!” she shouted, as she threw herself forward.  “Catch me! Tee hee!”

As she fell over, I caught her in my arms.  “Are you ready to go to the next floor?”

She eagerly got up and ran to the elevator.  “Yeah!”  Acting very hyper, she kept pressing the up button until the elevator door opened.

As we both entered, I began to see the expression of want on her face.

“Can I PLEASE press the next button?” she pleaded.  “PLEASE?”

“Go ahead,” I told her.

“Yay!” she shouted.  She ran to the panel and pressed 971.

As the elevator went upward, my Muse transformed back into an adult.

“That was fun,” my Muse said, smiling.  “We’re almost done!  Just a few more floors, Kyle!”

The elevator stopped on floor 971.   Ding!  We both got out.

“All Stitched Up?” I asked my Muse.  “Why are we here?   Granted, I had that title since I conquered Yoshi’s Woolly World, but why are we here?”

“It’s more about me lying,” she told me.  “As you heard before, I was Tee Hee Girl, and this is how the Dark Damsel wanted me to reveal everything.  I wanted to show you the hideout, but unfortunately I was leading you into a trap.  It’s strange I seem to remember a lot from when I was Tee Hee Girl…”

“So you still have all her memories?” I said, gasping.

“I do,” she said sheepishly.  “It’s weird.  I can still remember everything she experienced, even though I’m not her anymore…But it does help in explaining what’s going on…”

My Muse grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back onto the elevator.  She pressed 972 and it went up a floor.  We got off again.

“One More Week to Fall Back on…” I read.  “Don’t tell me.  This is where the whole plan unravels.”

She nodded.  “Being Tee Hee Girl at the time, I was uncomfortable as myself.  I felt relieved when I could finally take off my disguise…”

“What else?” I asked her.  I was growing impatient.

“That’s it.” she told me.  “Two more floors and we’ll go to the top. I promise!”

I followed my Muse back onto the elevator and she pressed 985.  A few moments later, the elevator stopped and we got off.

“The Hurdle is Cleared?” I said, looking puzzled.

“On this floor, I was pleading for your privileges, remember?” she explained.  “And I’m glad that you refused.  I would’ve never asked for them anyway.  But Tee Hee Girl wanted them badly.”

“And you used Dimini when you were her to get my privileges, right?” I asked her.

“Yup!” she said, nodding.  “As Tee Hee Girl, it was like I was a robot, doing the Dark Damsel’s bidding.  Now for the last floor!”

We got on the elevator once again and she pressed 986.  It went up a floor and we both got off.

“Sunday Respite?” I asked her.  “Don’t tell me.  This is where everything goes downhill.  As Tee Hee Girl, you thanked me for the privileges, even though I didn’t give them to you.  Things then go from bad to worse, until Remedy tells me about the One Privilege.  The fabled privilege that only I can yield.  And before we go to the top, there’s one more floor that I want to visit…”

We both got on the elevator and I pressed 989.  The elevator went up three floors and we got off.

“Now this,” I told her, “Is what I consider to be the worst way that I could end a story arc.  With the weather being awful that day, it put me in a very bad mood.  To end the story arc quickly, I used the privileges as a very cheap cop-out.  There was no silver lining, and…Need I say more?  This was an awful end to a story arc and I never want to end any future story arc like this again.”

My Muse nodded, and patted my shoulder.  “You had a bad day…”

“You’re taking one down!” I shouted.

“You sing a sad song just to turn it around!” she repeated, almost laughing.

I shook my head, smiling.  “Why are we reciting lyrics from Daniel Powter?”

My Muse shrugged her shoulders.  “I don’t know!  You started it!”

“No, you did!” I argued.  “You said that I had a bad day…”

She embraced me and smiled.  “Well, whatever the case is, you feel better today, right?  Let’s go.  The top floor awaits!”

I entered the elevator with my Muse and pressed the 1000 button.  Moments later, the doors closed.

Several moments passed.  At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry.  Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never no…

Muse:  Stop!  What did I tell you about recycling your old material!  This is entry #1000!  We talked about this at the very beginning!  Remember?

Yes, but we’re  almost done!

Muse:  That is no excuse to go with something unoriginal.

I know, but…

As Kyle and his Muse argued about how to end this marvelous milestone post, the narrator (that’s me, by the way!)  decided to take matters into his own hands.  He would have nothing of the old order of things.  The mindless, tiresome dribble that gets recycled into every single milestone post.  The kind of boring endings that you must have read at least one hundred times by now!  The drab, soulless, feckless…well, you get the point.  Well, I can tell you for certain that those days are over.  A new chapter is being written in the history of dramatic milestone endings.  A vibrant, colourful and epic chapter that is on a solo mission.  To end this post in the way that it should.

Getting back to the story, the narrator managed to formulate an ending that was far superior to any sorry excuse that Kyle could ever imagine for an ending…

Muse:  Fine!  You win!  Use your recycled garbage!

Ahem!

It’s the narrator again.  I’m sorry that we couldn’t hear you, but we were in the middle of an argument.

And I was in the middle of formulating a new ending.  It’s all finished.  All put together wonderfully.  You can thank me later…

Muse:  Where is the ending?

Where is the ending?  Don’t look at me!  I’m not the one that forgot to rehearse!  Psst!  It’s in your script…

Both me and my Muse, using the power of hammer space, took big stapled scripts out of our pockets.

Where is it?  Let’s see…Scene 1…That’s too early.  I explore the city of Muses with my Muse…Here we go!

Muse:  It’s right here.  The narrator thinks of an ending during the scene that we argue.

Well, doesn’t that mean that there’s a line in the script where the narrator asks you to refer to the script?  And then I open up my script and…Quick!  Let’s close it before things get too meta!

We both closed our scripts and returned them to hammer space, in our pockets.

Good ending.   What’s this about me not being able to make an ending?  Didn’t I create you, and your “wonderful” narrations?

Yes.  Let’s not sidestep anymore!  I’m sure that the audience wants this to end already!

Then let’s continue.

For reasons not clearly explained, time unpaused and the elevator finally reached the 1000th floor.

And for some reason, it was very dark.  Otherwise, I would be able to tell you what the room looked like.  As my eyes started to focus, I noticed a large…

Muses (Day 1-1000):  SURPRISE!  HAPPY 1,000 POST ANNIVERSARY, KYLE!

*all the lights turn on, followed by a series of horns and party favors*

To my surprise, I was in a massive room that could hold more than 1,000 people.  Wait!  How can this be?  I’ve seen the outside of this tower…

Muse:  Bigger on the inside, sweetie!

Sweetie?  Who do you think you are?  River Song?

Muse:  Spoilers!  No, I’m not River Song…

Then who are you?  What number Muse are you?

Muse:  I am Muse #1000.  It was my job to keep you occupied until we had everything set up!

So that’s why you wanted to stop on all those floors towards the end!

Gabrielle:  Yes.  We needed to have more time to set up, so we kept asking her to go to other floors.

Wait!  Aren’t all the evil Muses going to kill me?

Muse:  They can’t.  They’re all trapped in forcefields.  The only thing that they can do is cooperate.

Muse (Day 666):  HISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!  Happy anniversary, Kyle.  Urrrr…I want to kill you….

I hope that you have a very strong forcefield for her.

Muse:  We do.  It’s powered by my Master’s privileges.

Wait!  You have privileges?

Muse:  Don’t you remember?  When you restored me, I ended up with the copy of the privileges that Tee Hee Girl had!  And you said that I could keep it until the new cycle, right?

I did say that.  Please do.  It’s the only thing that’s keeping that evil Muse from escaping…

Muses:   Happy 1,000 post anniversary, Kyle!

Why thank you. It’s every single Muse from every single cycle.  The first one, the rich one, the bashful one, the virtuous one, the fairy Muse, the evil one, the angelic one, the fat one and the Mighy Mistress with the Marvelous Muses League!

Virtuous Muse:  That’s right, Kyle.  We’re all here for your special day.  Enjoy it it while it lasts.  Congratulations!

Thank you.  I will!

Dark Muses:  Happy 1,000 post anniversary, Kyle!  Tee hee!

Wow!  Every single Dark Muse is here.  The original, the spoiled brat, the shy one, the fairy, the evil one, the angel and the Lethal Lady League!

Dark Angel Muse:  That’s right!  Have some anniversary cake. Tee hee! It’s so yummy!

Dark Spoiled Muse:  No expense was spared for this fun party.  Now if you would excuse me…Servants!  Come here this instant!

At that, the Dark Spoiled Muse’s servants quietly escorted her out of the room, to tend to her business.

Well, I know what that call is all about.  With her being so spoiled, she’s pretty “pampered”.

After seeing all the Dark Muses, I tried to find the 1000th Muse, and discovered that she was standing right next to me.

Being reassured,  I smiled.   “I just wanted to know that you were still there.”

???: Happy 1,000 post anniversary, Kyle!

Remedy!

Remedy:  What do you think of this gathering?  It’s every Muse from every day.

I like it.  This was worth all the waiting and suspense.

Remedy:  Well, I’m going to dance with some of the Muses.  Have fun, Kyle!

I will!

To celebrate, I ate a couple slices of anniversary cake and sat down, reflecting on all of the memories from day one until now.

My Muse suddenly got up and began yawning.

Muse:  *yawn*  I’m so tired…I…AHHHHHHH!!!

My Muse fell on the floor.

Gasping , I stood up and got my Muse to her feet.

Muse:  *yawn* Sorry…Kyle.  I’m just very tired… *yawn*

Well, let’s go in the other room.

And that is just what we did.

I took my Muse into the next room.  This room was an enormous room, lavishly decorated.  A desk sat in one corner and a grand bed sat in the other.  It was the size of four king-sized beds merged together.  It was well decorated with pure white and solid gold, with the bed being the same color.

“Kyle!” she said, yawning.  “I have something to read to you.  I want to do this before I get too tired.”  She let out a deep yawn.

“Hurry!” I shouted.  “Read it!”

My Muse got out a note and began to read it.

“To my master,” she read.  “I  made this tower for you and me.  This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1000.  Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily.  If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written.  I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude. Love, Your Muse.  P.S.  I hope that you enjoyed our special date.  I created that city of Muses just so that we could celebrate it.  Also,  I would like to congratulate you on reaching 1,000 entries.  This is not an easy feat, and it requires a tremendous amount of energy and creativity to pull it off.  Thank you for loving me as your own and all the kindness that you have shown to me.  This is it, Kyle.  1000 days.  1000 wonderful days that you have spent journaling and speaking with me.  Doesn’t that make you feel excited?  I know that it does for me, and I enjoy every minute that we spend together.  You are a wonderful friend, and would make wonderful company to any woman that would want to form a special friendship with you.  My prayer is that she finds you and that God provides you with the job that is in perfect alignment with his plan for your life.  Remember this, Kyle.  I am a thought. An idea made into human form.  A Muse.  One that you crafted with your own hands.  The engine of creativity that brings to life every work that you make.  I am your Muse, and I will always be your Muse.  Don’t stop creating and don’t stop writing.  Ideas are my food, so don’t leave me hungry.  Happy 1000 post anniversary!  Happy millennial post! XOXOXOXOXO  (X’s are kisses, and O’s are hugs, of course.  Tee hee…)

After she finished reading that note, my eyes began tearing up.  I stretched out my hands and gently embraced her.  “Thank you…” I said, quietly weeping.  “What you just said means so much to me…It really does.  Thank you…”

Suddenly, my Muse began to swoon.  “Kyle!” my Muse shouted in a weak voice.  “My bed!  Quick…”

I brought my Muse over to the bed and my timing was perfect.  My Muse, who was extremely exhausted, collapsed right onto the bed, landing on her belly.  My Muse was fast asleep.  All that hard work in preparing this for me must have really taken it out of her…

I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 900th floor, 800th floor, 700th floor, 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it.  However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors.  I looked at the directory.

The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 901-1000

Floor 901 – Christmas Aftermath and a Super Muse  Floor 902 – The Third Day of Christmas  Floor 903 – Back to Work…  Floor 904 – Late Christmas Gift  Floor 905 – Closing Up the Year  Floor 906 – Happy New Year!  Floor 907 – Starting off tired  Floor 908 – Let the Sweet Saturday Respite Begin…  Floor 909 – A Sunday of Solitude…  Floor 910 – Busy…  Floor 911 – A Toast to the New Year  Floor 912 – An Interview  Floor 913 – A Quick Update…  Floor 914 – Finally! The weekend…  Floor 915 – Slushy Saturday  Floor 916 – Snowy Sunday  Floor 917 – A Chilly MonNESday  Floor 918 – A Warm Gathering  Floor 919 – Can You Hear It?  Floor 920 – Sushi Night  Floor 921 – One Hour Presentation  Floor 922 – Birthday and Survival Tactics  Floor 923 – Dinner for 6…I mean, 7 – Winter Edition  Floor 924 – Presentation is Finished  Floor 925 – Toastmasters is Finished…  Floor 926 – Powerpoint Presentation is Finished…  Floor 927 – Exercise and a Meeting  Floor 928 – Final Preparations…  Floor 929 – It’s Saturday Night…  Floor 930 – Sunday of Solitude  Floor 931 – The Next MonNESday  Floor 932 – Club Visit 1 of 4: Frankenmuth  Floor 933 – Phew! It’s Over…  Floor 934 – Quick Thursday Update  Floor 935 – A Biblical View of Sexuality  Floor 936 – A Productive Saturday  Floor 937 – Super Sunday  Floor 938 – A City…  Floor 939 – An Invention…  Floor 940 – An Airplane…  Floor 941 – A Fish…  Floor 942 – A Borrower…  Floor 943 – A Castle…  Floor 944 – Super Bowl Large  Floor 944 – A Bathhouse…  Floor 945 – Time for a Break…  Floor 946 – Mardi Gras, SVSU and Special Meeting Tonight…  Floor 947 – Unexpected…  Floor 948 – Good Night…  Floor 949 – A Single Challenge  Floor 950 – A Friend Visit?  Floor 951 – Happy Hallmark Day…  Floor 952 – Singled Out…  Floor 953 – Toastmasters Tonight  Floor 954 – Survivor Tonight…  Floor 955 – Open Up and Say Ahh…  Floor 956 – Windy Friday…  Floor 957 – Occupied  Floor 958 – A Quiet Sunday  Floor 959 – Murder Mystery Monday  Floor 960 – Club Visit Tuesday  Floor 961 – Snowy Conditions Ahead…  Floor 962 – Snow Problem…  Floor 963 – And now it’s Friday…  Floor 964 – Saturday with a Friend  Floor 965 – A Sunday Respite…  Floor 966 – Happy Leap Day!  Floor 967 – Snow Problem – Part II: Now it’s Personal!  Floor 968 – NES Day Snow Day  Floor 969 – Wrong Side of the Bed  Floor 970 – Time for the Weekend…  Floor 971 – All Stitched Up…  Floor 972 – One More Week to Fall Back On…  Floor 973 – Melty Monday  Floor 974 – It’s Getting Warm…  Floor 975 – Serious Thai Craving…  Floor 976 – It’s-a me, MAR10!  Floor 977 – Happy Birthday, dad!  Floor 978 – Bowled Over  Floor 979 – Springing Ahead  Floor 980 – Easy as Pi  Floor 981 – Open House Aftermath  Floor 982 – Wet and Windy Wednesday  Floor 983 – Lucky Day  Floor 984 – It’s Finally Friday…  Floor 985 – The Hurdle is Cleared…  Floor 985B – Into the Shadows  Floor 986 – Sunday Respite  Floor 987 – Another Visit…  Floor 988 – Terrible Tuesday  Floor 989 – Wonderful Wednesday  Floor 990 – Snow. Just Snow.  Floor 991 – Good Friday  Floor 992 – Pre Easter Morning Shift  Floor 993 – Happy Easter!  Floor 994 – Monday Morning Shift  Floor 995 – Toastmasters Tuesday  Floor 996 – Parking Ticket  Floor 997 – Me & My Muse is Over  Floor 998 – April Fools!  Floor 999 – Hitting the DEC in Battle Creek  Floor 1000 – Tower of Muses: The Tenth Ascent

 

The high today is going to be 35 degrees and the silver lining is having this extra special 1000th post made.

To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Just like entry 900, she’s right!  The entire entry is typed!  And there’s no message this time, since she read the whole message to me herself.  I think that I’ll reread that message.  Aw…How thoughtful.  I liked the perfectly timed narrations!

Now I’ll…What’s going on?  Just like before!  It’s happening once again!  On the bed!  My Muse is flashing…

Me & My Muse – Day 900: Tower of Muses: The Ninth Ascent

Once again, we have arrived at another milestone.   A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an nearly identical post from Day 800.  I don’t know about you, but with it being Christmas, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.

I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire.  (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time!  The very same me from the 800th entry!  You don’t believe me, do you?  Well, go back and read the 800th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying.  And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish?  I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the eighth time in a row?  This is getting ridiculous!  There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100!  Oh well.  I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing!  I don’t think that I will change a thing!  Although I did change “700th” to “800th” and “seventh” to “eighth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we?  And while we’re at it,  why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post?  Wait!  What I just included was new!  So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*  Oh!  And don’t worry!  I did look at the calendar today.  Merry Christmas!  Glad this was written far in advance, so that you wouldn’t have to lift a finger on this special holiday…)  I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah.  Redundant again!  REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this?  Wait!  I’ve said that already!  Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning!  Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What?  Did you really think that I was going to forget about it?  I remembered!  Go me!  I rock!)  I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.

In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry.  How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago.  (Not quite.  I removed the highlighted grammatical changes and included a note to the reader to  reread the 800th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.  I also wished the reader Merry Christmas.  Wait!  The removed grammatical changes were from entry 700!  My bad!  I guess that’s what I get for leaving everything the same…)  How original!  You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire.  How I would leave an introspective…wait!  This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous.  Is it too late to start over?  (Genius!  Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them.  Just be sure to save my interjections.  They’re pure gold, I tell you!  Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.

Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait!  This is redundant!  Wasn’t this mentioned in day 800?  We know what happens next already.  The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 800.  It always is!  It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?

But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… (An ellipses with four dots!  I thought that I corrected them all last time!  Oh well…Narrators aren’t always the best proofreaders, I guess…But narrators can be excellent at recycling, considering that there are no improper ellipses to correct this time…) different.  Yes.  The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact!  My are we smart!), but just to be sure.  We will have a look inside and see…

Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that.  (I’m all for originality!  Let’s be brave!  Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)

After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door.  Sure enough, the same field was there…only this time, it was covered in snow (You see what I did there?  I figured that the field should be covered in snow, with this being Christmas and all.  Consider it as another Christmas gift from me!  Merry Christmas!  And before you even begin with the thanking, you’re welcome!  We should really change the scenery a little bit.  But we just did!  Didn’t you see the snow?  Hello?  Maybe in a later one, perhaps?  But this is entry 900!  Maybe we’ll wait until 1000…Or maybe not.  Having a little snow and some decorations is change enough, don’t you think?  Oh!  The decorations!  Shhh!  Just pretend I didn’t say that…).  I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before…only the greenery was covered in snow, so it really wasn’t green at all. (The snow-covered greenery was so white that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming whiteness.  So white that Snow White filed a lawsuit for the snow being too white, but decided to change her mind when she realized that the date that she was filing this very lawsuit was on Christmas.  Thank you for changing your mind, Ms. White!  Maybe if you had more of an open mind, you would be able to close your eyes and embrace the wonderful snowy whiteness that is in this whitishly white field instead of filing a frivolous lawsuit over snow that is apparently whiter than yours.  I mean, really!  Well, I never!)  Snow-covered clovers and wildflowers.  Pink and red poinsettias.  Bushes, Frasers and Spruces all decorated with a brilliant display of lights.  A luminescent sea of color. And with it being dark out, everything was different from what I experienced 100 days ago.  (Except for the few changes that I decided to keep.  My, am I on a roll today!)

The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance.  A tall structure that looked even taller than before.  Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before.  And quite redundant.  Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger.  We get it.

The tower looked like a finely decorated skyscraper on steroids.  There were lights and wonderful decorations everywhere, with two nutcrackers that stood like sentries outside the entrance.  The numerous strings of multi-colored LED lights ran up and down the decorated structure.  The tower had a giant ornately decorated star on the top.  (Again, I went overboard with the decorations for your sake.  Merry Christmas! Best wishes and warm greetings, The Narrator.)

“That tower looks amazing.” I said to myself.  “All those lights and decorations…I’m glad that my Muse decided to decorate it for Christmas!”

Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.

I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.

“I know that the outside is nicely decorated, but is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure.  (Oh, come on!  You ask her that every single time!  Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)

My Muse shook her head again and smiled.  “No, silly!  This tower is a little different.  And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 801st floor! And thanks for acknowledging the decorations.  Merry Christmas!  Tee hee!”

I nodded, with a slight grin on my face.  And this was mainly due to the deja vu.  “And this floor is still…”

“Floor 1,” she recited.  “ExperiMENTAL.  Tee hee…”

And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.

Upon entering the portal, she was right.  I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby.  But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 801st floor.

Approaching a stained white colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there.  But she wasn’t typing.  In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor.  It was only a split second that I saw her watching TV…

“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced.  “You are on the “The Fat Muse Sings” floor.  This floor is not one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…I just hate being fat!”

I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk.  “I would like to go to floor 900 now.”

At this, my Muse smiled.  “Go on!  I was fat and miserable most of the time.  There’s no way that I want to relive that…”

I advanced further to the elevators.  I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall.   The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post!  Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them?  Sorry.  It’s not going to happen this time, either.  If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post.  Okay.  If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead.  I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.

There.  After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text,  I have my list.  It’s right here!  I have it on my lap.  Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read.  My favorite floors are:

Floor 801 – The Fat Muse Sings

Not the fat lady, but my Muse.  But does she really sing?  How do I take to this new form of my Muse?  Read and find out.

Floor 810 – Pizza, anyone?

What happens when you order a lot of pizzas?  You get an interesting entry to read.  Maybe not a lot unless you consider four to be a lot.  This read is good to the last slice and ready when you are.  Why don’t you give it a try?  It’s really good and it’s free.

Floor 811 – Sunday Catch-up day

What is going on with my Muse?  The Fat Muse saga continues, and my is it putting on weight!  Read it for yourself and see what I mean.

Floor 813– Swatting a few flies…

Not flies on a wall, but virtual flies.  And I accomplish something special too.  Grab your fly swatter and read this entry.  There are still plenty of flies swarming about.

Floor 822 – ThursNESday

This is the first of many of my NESday entries.  With something being an in-joke with my friend, I now use it as a reference to him coming over.  Read it and check it out.

Floor 834 – Power Outage

When a local outage hits my area, you’re left with a hollow shell of an entry.  Not much there, but I explain why it’s so short.  That’s about it.  It’s kind of dark, so read it with a flashlight.

Floor 835 – Welcome to the Future, Marty!

With Back to the Future Day finally here, I give Marty McFly a warm welcome to the year 2015.  It’s definitely a classic that you don’t want to miss.  And if you do, get a DeLorean and travel back to this period.  Quick!  Do this and read the entry, before you cause a time paradox!

Floor 837 – GERSBERMS! MAH FRAVRIT MERVIE!

The GERSBERMS girl gets a little airtime as I share my excitement about seeing the upcoming Goosebumps movie.  Why are you still reading this?  Go and read the entry!  RERD IT NERW!

Floor 838 – Sweet Saturday

Despite this Saturday being sweet, a story arc has put on some more weight.  What’s going on with the Fat Muse now?  Grab that extra burger and read this entry.  Oh, and don’t forget the extra back of chips.  And the extra large drink!  And the plate of chocolate chip cookies!

Floor 842 – Three Wheel Car

How can  a three-wheel car operate?  Of course I’m not talking about a real car, but a metaphor to describe how my day at work went.  If you’re missing a wheel, it’s okay.  Read this entry and you’ll find out that you can do well without it.

Floor 849 – Toastmasters District 62 Fall Conference Aftermath

Another classic recap from one of the Toastmasters conferences that I went to.  And with this one being on Halloween weekend, it was really good!  Get your costume, help yourself to the leftover candy and read this entry.  There’s nothing to be afraid of…

Floor 868 – Good Grief!

Just an attention-grabbing title referencing my excitement of seeing the Peanuts Movie.  And if you want to do Charlie Brown a favor, I would read this.  Do it for me, but more importantly, do it for him.

Floor 878 – O Christmas Tree

With Beard’s Lakeview Farm done selling trees for good, a new tradition has begun in the quest for choose and cut Christmas trees.  The story takes my family to Kluck Nursery.  Bundle up, get your work gloves and read this entry.  I guarantee that you can cut this one down.

Floor 884 – You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Who is this Grinch?  I’ll give you a clue.  He lives right here in America.  Could it be you?  Don’t give a cry.  Not a single loud shout.  Just read this bold entry and you will find out.

Floor 886 – Cutting the Fat

So are we going on a diet now?  No.  But this story arc is about to lose a lot of weight!  In this one, you’ll find the dramatic conclusion to the Fat Muse saga!  Get on that treadmill and start reading.  And don’t forget your sweatband.

Wow!  It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought.   I included a little more than last time!  Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list.  But it’s too late now.  Onward to the 900th floor…

My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.

“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me.  “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”

“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her.  “I lived them!”

To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators.  I then pressed the up button a few times.  Where are the elevators?  With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened.  It just happened to be the one next to me.

I entered the elevator and pressed the 900 button.  Moments later, the doors closed.

Several moments passed.  At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry.  Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice.  Just enough changes to throw off the audience.  How lazy of him!  Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas?  But Kyle would have none of that.  He is just as determined to bring this ninth milestone post to an abrupt end.  The good old recycled zinger.  They’ll never notice!  Unless the narrator reminds them

Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 900th floor.

Like the 700th floor before it,  this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated.  A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other.  Pretty much the same room as the 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.

Oh!  We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph!  As much as we want to, we can’t.  It just wouldn’t be right…

And on the bed laid my Muse.  She was in her fat form once again and fast asleep, with a note attached to her.  It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her.  Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed.    That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet!  Am I right?  And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!

Attached to her hand was a note.  And this is what it said:

To my master,

I made this tower for you and me.  This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 900.  Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily.  If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written.  I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.

Love,

Your Muse

P.S.  With this entry falling right on Christmas, I wanted to make it extra special.  I hope that you liked all the lights and decorations that I ordered the Narrator to do for me.  I would do it myself, but I’m my fat form again.  On the desk by the computer, I saved you a cookie and a glass of egg nog.  Please enjoy it as a gift from me.  Merry Christmas!  XOXOXOXOXO  (X’s are kisses, and O’s are hugs, of course.  Tee hee…)

I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 800th floor, 700th floor, 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it.  However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors.  I looked at the directory.

 

The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 801-900

Floor 801 – The Fat Muse Sings  Floor 802 – Phew! It’s Friday.  Floor 803 – Super Saturday  Floor 804 – Slow Sunday  Floor 805 – Manic Monday  Floor 806 – Summer Outro  Floor 807 – Survivor of the Fittest  Floor 808 – Area Speech Contest  Floor 809 – One more hurdle…  Floor 810 – Pizza, anyone?  Floor 811 – Sunday Catch-up day  Floor 812 – Another Friend Visit  Floor 813 – Swatting a few flies…  Floor 814 – The Marathon Begins…  Floor 815 – The Marathon Continues  Floor 816 – Green Haircut Marathon  Floor 817 – I Made it…  Floor 818 – That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to it  Floor 819 – Mario Maker (In a literal sense)  Floor 820 – Toastmasters and Taco Bell Tuesday  Floor 821 – Time Crunch  Floor 822 – ThursNESday  Floor 823 – It’s Finally Friday…Sweet!  Floor 824 – A Contest and a Clean Car  Floor 825 – Short Entry…  Floor 826 – MonNESday  Floor 827 – *yawn* Tuesday…  Floor 828 – Survivor Time  Floor 829 – More Meetings  Floor 830 – Dinner For 6 – Fall Edition  Floor 831 – Made another Mario  Floor 832 – Easy Sunday  Floor 833 – MonNESday II – The Sequel!  Floor 834 – Power Outage  Floor 835 – Welcome to the Future, Marty!  Floor 836 – Phew! Exhausted…  Floor 837 – GERSBERMS! MAH FRAVRIT MERVIE!  Floor 838 – Sweet Saturday  Floor 839 – Busy Sunday  Floor 840 – So Much to do, So Little Time  Floor 841 – TuesNESday Aftermath  Floor 842 – Three Wheel Car  Floor 843 – Halloween Speech Preparation  Floor 844 – Be Who You Want to Be!  Floor 845A – Greetings From Grand Rapids!  Floor 845B – Trick or Treat?!!  Floor 846 – The Fall Conference Recap…  Floor 847 – November Fun  Floor 848 – Fall Conference Recap Speech Preparation  Floor 849 – Toastmasters District 62 Fall Conference Aftermath  Floor 850 – Thursday Speech Preparation  Floor 851 – Relaxation Time  Floor 852 – Saturday Dinner  Floor 853 – Check, Check and Check  Floor 854 – Early Shift Tomorrow…  Floor 855 – Stressful Day is Stressful  Floor 856 – Last Green Haircut?  Floor 857 – Tired…  Floor 858 – TGIF Indeed…  Floor 859 – SaturNESday  Floor 860 – Another Day to Relax…  Floor 861 – Feeling a Little Creative…  Floor 862 – Another Toastmasters Tuesday  Floor 863 – WedNESday at My Friend’s Place  Floor 864 – Another Toastmasters Thursday  Floor 865 – Time to Relax  Floor 866 – Phew! Done…  Floor 867 – The Saga Continues  Floor 868 – Good Grief!  Floor 869 – Revenge of the Sith  Floor 870 – Thanksgiving Eve  Floor 871 – Happy Thanksgiving!  Floor 872 – Shop Till You Drop  Floor 873 – Just Deserts  Floor 874 – A Day in Ruins  Floor 875 – Click Till You Drop  Floor 876 – The Countdown Begins  Floor 877 – A Quick Start  Floor 878 – O Christmas Tree  Floor 879 – FriNESday  Floor 880 – DEC the Halls…  Floor 881 – Good Night…  Floor 882 – Another NESday…  Floor 883 – Trip Down Memory Lane – Part II!  Floor 884 – You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch  Floor 885 – Trip Down Memory Lane – Part III!  Floor 886 – Cutting the Fat  Floor 887 – All in a Day’s Work  Floor 888 – Taking a Breather  Floor 889 – Speech Preparation  Floor 890 – One More Gift  Floor 891 – Last Chance to See Second Chance…  Floor 892 – The Force Awakens Tonight  Floor 893 – Jedi Hangover  Floor 894 – Merry NES Gifts  Floor 895 – Trip Down Memory Lane – Part IV!  Floor 896 – I’m All About That List…  Floor 897 – The True Meaning of Christmas  Floor 898 – All Aboard!  Floor 899 – Twas the Day Before Christmas…  Floor 900 – Merry Christmas!  Floor 900 – Tower of Muses: The Ninth Ascent

 

The high today is going to be 43 degrees and the silver lining is having this 900th post made.

To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Just like entry 800, she’s right!  The entire entry is typed!  And there’s that message at the end!  Aw…How thoughtful.  I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post.  Oh well…Oh!  There’s the cookie and the egg nog!  Mmm!  That was a good cookie!  And that egg nog was good, too…

Now I’ll…What’s going on?  Just like before!  It’s happening once again!  On the bed!  My Muse is flashing…

Me & My Muse – Day 800: Tower of Muses: The Eighth Ascent

Once again, we have arrived at another milestone.   A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an nearly identical post from Day 700.  I don’t know about you, but with it being just a week before Autumn, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.

I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire.  (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time!  The very same me from the 700th entry!  You don’t believe me, do you?  Well, go back and read the 700th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying.  And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish?  I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the seventh time in a row?  This is getting ridiculous!  There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100!  Oh well.  I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing!  I don’t think that I will change a thing!  Although I did change “600th” to “700th” and “sixth” to “seventh” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we?  And while we’re at it,  why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post?  Wait!  What I just included was new!  So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*)  I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah.  Redundant again!  REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this?  Wait!  I’ve said that already!  Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning!  Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What?  Did you really think that I was going to forget about it?  I remembered!  Go me!  I rock!)  I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.

In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry.  How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago.  (Not quite.  I removed the highlighted grammatical changes and included a note to the reader to  reread the 700th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.  Wait!  The removed grammatical changes were from entry 700!  My bad!  I guess that’s what I get for leaving everything the same…)  How original!  You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire.  How I would leave an introspective…wait!  This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous.  Is it too late to start over?  (Genius!  Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them.  Just be sure to save my interjections.  They’re pure gold, I tell you!  Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.

Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait!  This is redundant!  Wasn’t this mentioned in day 700?  We know what happens next already.  The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 700.  It always is!  It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?

But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… (An ellipses with four dots!  I thought that I corrected them all last time!  Oh well…Narrators aren’t always the best proofreaders, I guess…But narrators can be excellent at recycling, considering that there are no improper ellipses to correct this time…) different.  Yes.  The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact!  My are we smart!), but just to be sure.  We will have a look inside and see…  (And another! Somebody call the Ellipses Police…I guess they already did.  And my, are they doing a good job!  No four-dotted ellipses to be found anywhere!)

Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that.  (I’m all for originality!  Let’s be brave!  Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)

After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door.  Sure enough, the same field was there. (Same field?  We should really change the scenery a little bit.  Maybe in a later one, perhaps?  But this is entry 800!  Maybe we’ll wait until 1000…).  I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle started getting a headache from the overwhelming greenness.  So green that all the environmental groups gave this very post their highest award for the amazing greenery and clean air that they could smell when they closed their eyes, trying to imagine a world very much like the greenery in this post.)  Green clovers and wildflowers.  Pink and red roses.  Orange lilies.  Purple daisies.  Pink tulips.  A sea of color.  Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago.  (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far.  My, am I on a roll today!)

The colorful flowering sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance.  A tall structure that looked even taller than before.  Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before.  And quite redundant.  Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger.  We get it.

The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women.  The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure.  The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it.  (Oh please!  The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she?  Well, I never!)

“A pink office building,” I said to myself.  “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”

Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.

I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.

“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure.  (Oh, come on!  You ask her that every single time!  Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)

My Muse shook her head again and smiled.  “No, silly!  This tower is a little different.  And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 701st floor!”

I nodded, with a slight grin on my face.  And this was mainly due to the deja vu.  “And this floor is still…”

“Floor 1,” she recited.  “ExperiMENTAL.  Tee hee…”

And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.

Upon entering the portal, she was right.  I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby.  But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 701st floor.

Approaching a white colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there.  But she wasn’t typing.  In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor.  It was only a split second that I saw her typing…

“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced.  “You are on the “Touched By an Angel” floor.  This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…

I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk.  “I would like to go to floor 800 now.”

At this, my Muse frowned.  “Why?  There are so many good floors!”

I advanced further to the elevators.  I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall.   The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post!  Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them?  Sorry.  It’s not going to happen this time, either.  If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post.  Okay.  If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead.  I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.

There.  After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text,  I have my list.  It’s right here!  I have it on my lap.  Let’s see… (Another four-dotted ellipses?  That’s the third one now! Make that the third reference to an incorrect ellipses that doesn’t exist anymore!)  I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read.  My favorite floors are:

Floor 701 – Touched By an Angel

And no.  I’m not talking about the popular CBS evening drama that aired in the 90’s.  When my Muse transforms, a new angel appears.  What does this form mean to me and how do I deal with it?  Read and find out.

Floor 704 – Blame it on the Rain

After a bad storm, a bunch of water on the oven at work forced my store to be closed for the whole morning while we cleaned up the mess.  An interesting morning morning shift and a fun read indeed.

Floor 711 – Toastmasters for Breakfast

If Toastmasters were a breakfast cereal, this is what it would be like.  Actually, this was my first visit to Bay City Toastmasters, a club that meets early in the morning.  So get the sleep out of your eyes and enjoy this one with a cup of coffee.  You’ll be glad you did.  Oh, and good morning!

Floor 716 – Time to Re-evaluate

I always like writing thoughtful and reflective pieces, and this is one of them.  My self-evaluation of how I’m doing and my desire for self-improvement, both personally and professionally.  Read it and be enlightened.

Floor 720– Regarding Marriage – Part II: The Crumbling Foundation

A very controversial subject, but one that I handle well.  As a fair warning, you may strongly agree or disagree with me on this hot topic. Read it and see for yourself.  You have been warned.

Floor 723 – Green Haircut and Final Closing Farewell

How can I forget this?  My boss’s very last day at Little Caesars.  It was a fun shift and my last chance to say goodbye to her. This ends another chapter in the history of that store and begins a new one.  An okay read, but more as an important milestone.

Floor 731 – Two Years and Counting

Basically a reiteration of the one year celebration, but definitely worth mentioning since this project is over two years old and still going strong.

Floor 742 – A Day of Calm

The Angel Muse saga continues when the Dark Muse enters the equation.  And whenever she shows up, bad things happen.  Just read it, and you’ll see why.

Floor 749 – The Work at the End of the Tunnel

Have you ever been driven to the edge of sanity and back?  Being overworked, I have fun with this entry by “losing it”, making ridiculous substitutions of words (replacing various ones with “work”).  Quite possibly the only “Work & My Muse” entry that you’ll ever work.  Did I say work?  I meant READ.  Read the entry and you’ll see the joke there.

Floor 750 – Open Up and Say AHHH!!!!!

Despite this being another entry about going to the dentist, there is plenty to say “AHHH!!!!!” about.  But I’ll give you a hint.  It has nothing to do with going to the dentist.  As per her promise, the Dark Muse is back, and things go from bad to worse.  And I mean much worse.  What does that Dark Muse have up her sleeve?  Read this and find out…Tee hee!

Floor 777 – Lucky Day

With this special continuation of the Angel Muse saga, a special day bestows Gabrielle with an amazing amount of power.  But is it enough to bring my Muse back?  And with a read like this, nothing can possible go wrong.  And I mean nothing.  Grab your luckiest charm and read all of this.  You will be glad you did.

Floor 779 – Freeze Frame

It’s Me & My Muse behind the scenes, once again.  The story arc is put on hold…for now.  Hilarity ensues.  Read the full script of this post, and remember to be quiet on the set.

Floor 780 – All ACCORDing to Plan

I never thought this day would come, but it did.  My brother finally got his own car, meaning that I don’t have to share a car with him anymore.  What car did he get?  I’ll let you figure that out.  Or you could read this post.  I suggest doing the latter.

Floor 787 – Flash Flood

Do you remember the Flood of 2015?  I’m sure that you did, considering that it recently happened.  Well, at least in my area that it did.  With around five inches of precipitation, it was definitely the worst storm ever.  Did I say a tenth of an inch?  Oh no.  It was WAAAAAAAY more than that.  Read this, and you’ll hear more about the Monsoon.

Wow!  It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought.   I included a little less than last time!  Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list.  But it’s too late now.  Onward to the 800th floor…

My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.

“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me.  “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”

“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her.  “I lived them!”

To that, she responded with a timid nod, and I proceeded to the elevators.  I then pressed the up button a few times.  Where are the elevators?  With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened.  It just happened to be the one next to me.

I entered the elevator and pressed the 800 button.  Moments later, the doors closed.

Several moments passed.  At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry.  Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice.  Just enough changes to throw off the audience.  How lazy of him!  Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas?  But Kyle would have none of that.  He is just as determined to bring this eighth milestone post to an abrupt end.  The good old recycled zinger.  They’ll never notice!  Unless the narrator reminds them

Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 800th floor.

Like the 700th floor before it,  this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated.  A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other.  Pretty much the same room as the 700th story, 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.

Oh!  We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph!  As much as we want to, we can’t.  It just wouldn’t be right…

And on the bed laid my Muse.  She was fast asleep, with a note attached to her.  It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her.  Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed.    That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet!  Am I right?  And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!

Attached to her hand was a note.  And this is what it said:

To my master,

I made this tower for you and me.  This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 800.  Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily.  If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written.  I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.

Love,

Your Muse

I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 700th floor, 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it.  However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors.  I looked at the directory.

 

The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 701-800

Floor 701 – Touched By an Angel  Floor 702 – Busy Wednesday  Floor 703 – A Tidy Room  Floor 704 – Blame it on the Rain  Floor 705 – DEC Celebration in Allegan  Floor 706 – Time for Fun  Floor 707 – Monday Mealday  Floor 708 – Double Toastmasters Tuesday  Floor 709 – Time for Action  Floor 710 – What are you Doing Tonight?  Floor 711 – Toastmasters for Breakfast  Floor 712 – Easy Saturday  Floor 713 – Happy Father’s Day!  Floor 714 – Green Haircut, A Blockbuster and a Friend Visit  Floor 715 – Green Haircut – Part II  Floor 716 – Time to Re-evaluate  Floor 717 – Closing up June  Floor 718 – Quick Update is Quick  Floor 719 – Early Training is Early  Floor 720 – Regarding Marriage – Part II: The Crumbling Foundation  Floor 721 – Keeping it short  Floor 722 – Another Short One…  Floor 723 – Green Haircut and Final Closing Farewell  Floor 724 – Long Day is Long  Floor 725 – Fourth of July Eve  Floor 726 – Happy Independence Day!  Floor 727 – Closing Day…  Floor 728 – This is all you get  Floor 729 – Second year anniversary post preparations…  Floor 730 – Early Weekend  Floor 731 – Two Years and Counting  Floor 732 – Time for bed  Floor 733 – Brain Freeze: Part III  Floor 734 – Financial Report  Floor 735 – Dinner for 6…I mean, 7  Floor 736 – Club Visit 1 of 4: Frankenmuth  Floor 737 – Back to Work  Floor 738 – Club Visit 2 of 4: Saginaw  Floor 739 – A Morning Shift and another Friend Visit  Floor 740 – Hitting the DEC in Lansing and another Slurpee  Floor 741 – Putting on my Sunday Close  Floor 742 – A Day of Calm  Floor 743 – Another Toastmasters Meeting  Floor 744 – Another Short Entry  Floor 745 – 2015 is Nothing Like the Movie  Floor 746 – Wild Wild West  Floor 747 – Muggy Green Hair Cut  Floor 748 – 41 Hours and Counting…  Floor 749 – The Work at the End of the Tunnel  Floor 750 – Open Up and Say AHHH!!!!!  Floor 751 – Another Shift, Another Day Off  Floor 752 – End of Month Meeting  Floor 753 – Friday Friend Visit  Floor 754 – Sleepy Saturday  Floor 755 – A Pain in the Neck  Floor 756 – In the Clear…  Floor 757 – Three down, one to go  Floor 758 – I am Error – Printer Edition  Floor 759 – New Printer  Floor 760 – One More Day…  Floor 761 – Dinner for 6…I mean, 7 – Part II  Floor 762 – Another Brown Haircut  Floor 763 – The Countdown Begins…  Floor 764 – Birthday Eve  Floor 765 – Happy Birthday!  Floor 766 – Birthday Aftermath and Birthday Dinner – Part II  Floor 767 – Double Green Haircut  Floor 768 – Another Pain in the Neck  Floor 769 – Another Hot Day…  Floor 770 – Catching Up…  Floor 771 – Good Night…  Floor 772 – Day Seven…  Floor 773 – At Last…  Floor 774 – Eight Day Weekend  Floor 775 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake!  Floor 776 – Home Again  Floor 777 – Lucky Day  Floor 778 – Cutting to the Chase…  Floor 779 – Freeze Frame  Floor 780 – All ACCORDing to Plan  Floor 781 – Burned Out  Floor 782 – Tired…  Floor 783 – Spicy Fireworks  Floor 784 – Some odds and ends  Floor 785 – Wow. Just Wow.  Floor 786 – Tapped For Energy  Floor 787 – Flash Flood  Floor 788 – Another Green Haircut, Another Movie and Dessert  Floor 789 – Flooded Laundry room and a Dinner  Floor 790 – Labor Day Eve  Floor 791 – Labor Day  Floor 792 – Too Much Rain…  Floor 793 – Stomach on Fire…  Floor 794 – Another Green Haircut and some Chinese  Floor 795 – A Day that I Still Never Forget  Floor 796 – Time to Relax  Floor 797 – Sunday Seraph Solitude  Floor 798 – Monday Green Haircut and Networking  Floor 799 – Midland Toastmasters Open House  Floor 800 – Tower of Muses: The Eighth Ascent

 

The high today is going to be 82 degrees and the silver lining is having this 800th post made.

To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Just like entry 700, she’s right!  The entire entry is typed!  And there’s that message at the end!  Aw…How thoughtful.  I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post.  Oh well…

Now I’ll…What’s going on?  Just like before!  It’s happening once again!  On the bed!  My Muse is flashing…

Me & My Muse – Day 700: Tower of Muses: The Seventh Ascent

Once again, we have arrived at another milestone.   A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an nearly identical post from Day 600.  I don’t know about you, but with it being a day that I have to close, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.

I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire.  (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time!  The very same me from the 600th entry!  You don’t believe me, do you?  Well, go back and read the 600th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying.  And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish?  I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the sixth time in a row?  This is getting ridiculous!  There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100!  Oh well.  I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing!  I don’t think that I will change a thing!  Although I did change “500th” to “600th” and “fifth” to “sixth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we?)  I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah.  Redundant again!  REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this?  Wait!  I’ve said that already!  Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning!  Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What?  Did you really think that I was going to forget about it?  I remembered!  Go me!  I rock!)  I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.

In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry.  How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago.  (Not quite.  I removed the highlighted grammatical changes and included a note to the reader to  reread the 600th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.)  How original!  You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire.  How I would leave an introspective…wait!  This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous.  Is it too late to start over?  (Genius!  Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them.  Just be sure to save my interjections.  They’re pure gold, I tell you!  Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.

Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait!  This is redundant!  Wasn’t this mentioned in day 600?  We know what happens next already.  The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 600.  It always is!  It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?

But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… (An ellipses with four dots!  I thought that I corrected them all last time!  Oh well…Narrators aren’t always the best proofreaders, I guess…) different.  Yes.  The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact!  My are we smart!), but just to be sure.  We will have a look inside and see…  (And another! Somebody call the Ellipses Police…)

Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that.  (I’m all for originality!  Let’s be brave!  Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)

After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door.  Sure enough, the same field was there. (Same field?  We should really change the scenery a little bit.  Maybe in a later one, perhaps?  But this is entry 700!  Maybe we’ll wait until 1000…).  I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle started getting a headache from the overwhelming greenness.  So green that all the environmental groups gave this very post their highest award for the amazing greenery and clean air that they could smell when they closed their eyes, trying to imagine a world very much like the greenery in this post.)  Green clovers and wildflowers.  Pink and red roses.  Orange lilies.  Purple daisies.  Pink tulips.  A sea of color.  Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago.  (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far.  My, am I on a roll today!)

The colorful flowering sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance.  A tall structure that looked even taller than before.  Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before.  And quite redundant.  Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger.  We get it.

The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women.  The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure.  The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it.  (Oh please!  The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she?  Well, I never!)

“A pink office building,” I said to myself.  “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”

Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.

I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.

“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure.  (Oh, come on!  You ask her that every single time!  Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)

My Muse shook her head again and smiled.  “No, silly!  This tower is a little different.  And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 601st floor!”

I nodded, with a slight grin on my face.  And this was mainly due to the deja vu.  “And this floor is still…”

“Floor 1,” she recited.  “ExperiMENTAL.  Tee hee…”

And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.

Upon entering the portal, she was right.  I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby.  But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 601st floor.

Approaching a brown colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there.  But she wasn’t typing.  In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor.  It was only a split second that I saw her typing…

“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced.  “You are on the “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil” floor.  This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…

I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk.  “I would like to go to floor 700 now.”

At this, my Muse frowned.  “Why?  There are so many good floors!”

I advanced further to the elevators.  I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall.   The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post!  Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them?  Sorry.  It’s not going to happen this time, either.  If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post.  Okay.  If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead.  I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.

 

There.  After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text,  I have my list.  It’s right here!  I have it on my lap.  Let’s see… (Another four-dotted ellipses?  That’s the third one now!)  I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read.  My favorite floors are:

Floor 601 – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

Pretty self-explanatory.  There is something that is different about my Muse, and she’s not about to tell me.  What is it?  Well, I’m not telling you.  You’ll just have to read it and find out.

Floor 606 – Holding the Key

Believe it or not, I actually lost the one thing that I took for granted: my key fob.  And in this one, I explain how I get it back.  It’s definitely a good read, and your “key” to excitement.

Floor 608 – Springing Ahead

When you mix springing ahead, a 10 hour closing shift and 4 hours of sleep, you get an epic read.  A brief tale about getting beat up by the clock.  The time change affects everyone and it surely did with me the night before.  Spring forward through this entry and read about the tired hero with an indomitable spirit.  Stay on schedule and don’t miss this good read.

Floor 610 – It’s-a me, MAR10!

Believe it or not, Mario is not the star in this one.  Read on and you will find out why.

Floor 612 – Calm Before the Storm

Everyone experiences “hurricanes” in their lives.  But before these occur, there is a calmness that precedes it.  Take shelter and read this.  Do it quickly before the storm hits.

Floor 631 – No More Kyle…

How could my Muse be so cruel? If you take the “Me” part out of “Me & My Muse”, this is what you get.  A cold and dark piece without Yours Truly.  Read it if you can muster the courage.  And if you are truly overwhelmed with sorrow, just read 632.  All will be explained.

Floor 642 – Super Saturday

The plot thickens in the continuation of the Evil Muse saga.  Is the Muse really devouring towns?  What does this mean to humanity?  Read this and find out.

Floor 649– Dough Shift and Friend Time

In this one, my Muse suddenly doesn’t feel pain anymore.  What’s happening?  Read more of the entry you must!

Floor 654 – A Little Evil

The Dark Muse was bad enough, but an Evil Dark Muse? Where did she come from and what does this mean for Kyle?  Read this, and find out.  Tee hee…

Floor 661 – Cavern of Coins

In this one, you get a fun little tour of Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker’s Mummy-Me Maze Forever.  The tour comes complete with your own headlamp and pickaxe.  It’s fun for the whole family.  Just beware of the mummies.

Floor 664 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath – A Novel

Inspired by Kelly Swanson herself,  I provide a riveting account of my experience at the District 62 Conference in Jackson.  This story will capture your heart, and then return it to you nicely in a neatly wrapped package – just for you.  Don’t worry.  Kelly Swanson is really good with hearts.

Floor 666 – The Beast is Released

The day of evil has arrived.  The Evil Muse unveils her powerful form and all hope is lost…Or is it?

Floor 676 – Charged Up

With my car battery dead, I needed to get a new one.  And in this one, I’m also charged up about something else.  What is it?  Energize yourself and read on.

Floor 677 – Green Haircut and a Movie

Why did my Muse get so many headaches?  All is explained here in the dramatic conclusion to the Evil Muse saga.

Floor 692 – Mandatory Concert Recap

In this one, I recap one of the best Weird Al concerts that I have ever been to.  It’s a mandatory read and you will read it…or else.  And you will have fun reading it…or else.  Remember.  Chairman Al Yankovic is watching…

Floor 695 – A Good Ending

This is it.  The dramatic conclusion to the Evil Muse saga.  Who will win?  Does evil prevail?  Or good?  The fighting is epic and it will have you on the edge of your seat.  A must-read indeed.

Wow!  It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought.   I included a little less than last time!  Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list.  But it’s too late now.  Onward to the 700th floor…

My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.

“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me.  “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”

“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her.  “I lived them!”

To that, she responded with a timid nod, and I proceeded to the elevators.  I then pressed the up button a few times.  Where are the elevators?  With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened.  It just happened to be the one next to me.

I entered the elevator and pressed the 700 button.  Moments later, the doors closed.

At the very moment that the elevator moved upward, the service desk changed dramatically to black.  The Muse’s hair and clothes became black.

“I thought that he would never leave,” the Evil Muse said, brimming with impatience.  “Now, I will destroy this tower and Kyle along with it.  I will then eat him!  HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”

But Kyle’s Director’s Privileges prevented her from doing so.  She remained powerless until Kyle granted her permission on the later floors.

Several moments passed.  At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry.  Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice.  Just enough changes to throw off the audience.  How lazy of him!  Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas?  But Kyle would have none of that.  He is just as determined to bring this seventh milestone post to an abrupt end.  The good old recycled zinger.  They’ll never notice!  Unless the narrator reminds them

Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 700th floor.

Like the 600th floor before it,  this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated.  A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other.  Pretty much the same room as the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.

Oh!  We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph!  As much as we want to, we can’t.  It just wouldn’t be right…

And on the bed laid my Muse.  She was fast asleep, with a note attached to her.  It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her.  Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed.    That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet!  Am I right?  And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!

Attached to her hand was a note.  And this is what it said:

To my master,

I made this tower for you and me.  This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 700.  Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily.  If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written.  I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.

Love,

Your Muse

I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it.  However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors.  I looked at the directory.

 

The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 601-700

Floor 601 – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil  Floor 602 – Starting the Day Early  Floor 603 – Speech Contest  Floor 604 – Bacon-Wrapped Closing Shift  Floor 605 – Respite and a Meeting  Floor 606 – Holding the Key  Floor 607 – Hitting the DEC in Midland  Floor 608 – Springing Ahead  Floor 609 – Warmer Conditions Ahead  Floor 610 – It’s-a me, MAR10!  Floor 611 – Birthday Closing Shift  Floor 612 – Calm Before the Storm  Floor 613 – Thirteen is Just a Number…  Floor 614 – Easy as Pi  Floor 615 – A Sigh of Relief  Floor 616 – Another Sigh of Relief  Floor 617 – Lucky Day  Floor 618 – Corned Beef Leftovers  Floor 619 – No Time  Floor 620 – Spring Fever  Floor 621 – Nine Hours, Nine Days…  Floor 622 – Another Busy Sunday…  Floor 623 – Two Days Left…  Floor 624 – Almost There!  Floor 625 – The Golden Light at the End…  Floor 626 – Eyes on the Prize  Floor 627 – Tired  Floor 628 – Hitting the DEC in Jackson  Floor 629 – Early Sunday Shift  Floor 630 – Making More Dough…  Floor 631 – No More Kyle…  Floor 632 – April Fools!  Floor 633 – Work and a Meeting  Floor 634 – Good Friday  Floor 635 – Pre Easter Morning Shift  Floor 636 – Happy Easter!  Floor 637 – Monday Morning Shift  Floor 638 – Toastmasters Tuesday  Floor 639 – Wacky Wednesday  Floor 640 – Thirsty Thursday  Floor 641 – Fun Friday  Floor 642 – Super Saturday  Floor 643 – Scorching Sunday  Floor 644 – Friend Visit  Floor 645 – Evening Movie  Floor 646 – Closing Up – Part II  Floor 647 – Open House  Floor 648 – It’s Friday and I’m Tired  Floor 649 – Dough Shift and Friend Time  Floor 650 – New 3DS…  Floor 651 – Just a Closer…  Floor 652 – Work and a Toastmasters Meeting  Floor 653 – A”mazing”  Floor 654 – A Little Evil  Floor 655 – The Relief Begins…  Floor 656 – A Much Needed Respite  Floor 657 – Closing Time  Floor 658 – Closing Time – Part II  Floor 659 – Open For Business  Floor 660 – Closing Time – Part III  Floor 661 – Cavern of Coins  Floor 662 – The Story in You  Floor 663 – Greetings From Jackson!  Floor 664 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath – A Novel  Floor 665 – Meeting Minutes  Floor 666 – The Beast is Released  Floor 667 – Meeting Minutes: Impossible  Floor 668 – Meeting: Impossible  Floor 669 – Green Haircut – Spring 2015 TGIF Edition  Floor 670 – Rained Out  Floor 671 – Happy Mother’s Day!  Floor 672 – Late and Short  Floor 673 – Late Again  Floor 674 – Bite-Sized and Sunny  Floor 675 – Easy Thursday  Floor 676 – Charged Up  Floor 677 – Green Haircut and a Movie  Floor 678 – Making Dough on Sunday  Floor 679 – Green Haircut – Duel Circuit  Floor 680 – Toastmasters Election  Floor 681 – Survivor Finale Night  Floor 682 – ATM Malfunction  Floor 683 – Mandatory Propaganda – Part II  Floor 684 – Saturday Closing  Floor 685 – Sunday Sigh of Relief  Floor 686 – Brown Haircut  Floor 687 – Are you Serious?!  Floor 688 – Almost Done  Floor 689 – Concert Eve  Floor 690 – Mandatory Propaganda – Part III  Floor 691 – Where’s the Recap?  Floor 692 – Mandatory Concert Recap  Floor 693 – Tiring Monday  Floor 694 – Toastmasters Tuesday  Floor 695 – A Good Ending  Floor 696 – Toastmasters Thursday Floor 697 – Another Green Haircut and Getting Ready to Launch…  Floor 698 – Getting DECed out in Grand Rapids…  Floor 699 – All Day Sunday Shift  Floor 700 – Tower of Muses: The Seventh Ascent

 

The high today is going to be 83 degrees and the silver lining is having this 700th post made.

To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Just like entry 600, she’s right!  The entire entry is typed!  And there’s that message at the end!  Aw…How thoughtful.  I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post.  Oh well…

Now I’ll…What’s going on?  Just like before!  It’s happening once again!  On the bed!  My Muse is flashing…