Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 2000 and a nearly identical post from Day 2500. I don’t know about you, but with me getting ready to come back from up north, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 2500th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 2500th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the twenty-third time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Well, okay. There was also entry 2000, which was amazing by the way. Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “2500th” to “2600th” and “twenty-second” to “twenty-third”. I also deleted my rather lengthy remarks about the pandemic but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 2500th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 2500? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 2500. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 2600! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that a time-traveler would live in. White and pink accents emanated a powerful aura that ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A luxurious and mysterious building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back. She was wearing a white face mask and was looking very cautious.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 2501st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 2501st floor Sky Lobby.
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there, wearing a Survivor buff. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Survivor Finale” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 2600 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 2508 – Farewell Sanford…
In this one, I bid my town farewell, as I took a half day off of work to help my dad clean up the flooded basement at my parent’s home. This was a the home that I grew up in. This was the town that I grew up in. The flood destroyed a good portion of it and now it’s gone. Only the memories remain of this wonderful town. So grab some tissues and read this one. You’re going to need them…
Floor 2512 – Helping Feels Good…
I love to help those in need. Especially when it was my neighbors. In this one, I go over to their house and lend a hand. However, the help that arrived was much more than I expected. How much help? Read this one and find out. Oh, and do put some work clothes on if you plan on reading this one. My neighbor’s going to need all the help that he can get.
Floor 2521 – Sanford Strong…
To help out the flood, I had an idea of a book that could be used to help rebuild the community. In this one, I provide the idea of Sanford Strong, a book that would tell the story of the town, and the ones affected by the flood. Also, the COVID posts end here. Sanford is a strong community. We will rebuild. We will survive. Because together, we are Sanford Strong. Feel motivated? Read this post and join the movement.
Floor 2531 – Clearer Skies
In this one, there’s a 100% chance that the Weather Muse story arc will have a conclusion. How does it resolve? Will there be rain? Can this forecast be trusted? Read this one and find out, and see what the weather brings.
Floor 2532 – The Time Traveling Muse
It’s a month late, but better late than never. In this one, my Muse discovers her new ability to travel through time. How does she cope with it? What dangers come with it? Read this one, and don’t worry if you don’t see her right away. She’s probably time traveling…
Floor 2539 – Another Scorcher…
Besides the weather being very warm, this was chosen for a different reason. The plot thickens, as my Muse discovers a truth that could very well put her life in danger. What is this truth? I would love to tell you, but you will have to read this one and find out. Brace yourself. The truth is quite the shocker…
Floor 2544 – Grandpa, you will be missed…
This is one that really hits home for me. More recently, my grandpa passed away, and this is my eulogy to him. I attempt to capture my fond moments and regards in this post, and I think that I did a great job. Have you ever lost a loved one? Read this one, and help me to grieve. It’s not easy to lose someone that had this much influence on my life. Especially someone like my grandpa…
Floor 2548 – Grandpa’s Funeral…
I included this one because it follows things up with a trip to Holly, Michigan to bid my grandpa farewell. Saying goodbye is not easy, but I know that it’s not goodbye for good. My grandpa is in heaven, and I will see him again someday. When that day will be is God’s choosing, not mine. Read this one, and think about the funeral of the loved one that you lost.
Floor 2551 – North for the Fourth
For this one, I go up north for a nice long Fourth of July vacation. We’re talking six days of relaxation. So pack your bags, and read this one. And whatever you do, don’t forget your swimming suit! The weather is going to be hot up there…
Floor 2558 – Seven Years and Counting
Has it really been seven years that I’ve been doing Me & My Muse? Yes it has, and if you haven’t read an anniversary post, this one’s for you. Here’s to seven years of this wonderful experiment. Read this entry and celebrate.
Floor 2560 – Brain Freeze: Part VIII
Wait a minute! With 7-Elevens not offering free Slurpees this year, how can I have a brain freeze entry? That’s where you have to use your creativity? How did I use mine? Did I buy a Slurpee anyway? Read this one, and cool off. It’s pretty hot and this cool treat will really hit the spot.
Floor 2574 – Slurpee Reward
In this one, the Brain Freeze entry is resolved! Because I have done it! I have found a way to get a free Slurpee at 7-Eleven. How? It requires change, and a whole lot of it. What change did I provide? How can you get a free Slurpee? Get out your notepad and read this one. You are guaranteed a free Slurpee if you do this. Did I say “Free Slurpee”? Read this one and cool off from the heat.
Floor 2588 – Muse’s Desperate Hour
What’s about my Muse? The plot gets deeper as more of the truth is revealed. What is this truth and how can my Muse be saved? Grab some popcorn and read this. You will want to be there for my Muse.
Floor 2589 – Sunday Miracle and More Pizza
What miracle happened? Amazing things happen when you attend an outdoor church service where it almost rains but ends up stopping with sunshine. And it gets better. My grandma wants to have a pizza dinner with my brother. So get in the car and read this. The pizza is going to be good.
Floor 2595 – My Niece’s First Birthday
I can’t believe that it’s already been a year since my niece was born. But here it is! She is one whole year older! With a wonderful party to boot. So grab a gift, and give this one a read. There’s plenty of food over there too, so help yourself.
Wow! It looks like I had a little more favorites than what I thought. I included way more than last time! Maybe I should’ve shortened the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 2600th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 2600 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this twenty-sixth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 2600th floor.
A little like the 2500th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 2000. Pretty much the same room as the 2500th story, 2400th story, 2300th story, 2200th story, 2100th story, 1900th story, the 1800th story, the 1700th story, the 1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 2500th story, 2400th story, 2300th story, 2200th story, 2100th story, 1900th story, 1800th story, 1700th story, 1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her Time Traveling form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 2600. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 2500th floor, 2400th floor, 2300th floor, 2200th floor, 2100th floor, 2000th floor, 1900th floor, the 1800th floor, the 1700th floor, the 1600th floor, the 1500th floor, the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 85 degrees and the silver lining is having this 2600th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 2500, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 2000 and a nearly identical post from Day 2400. I don’t know about you, but with there being a pandemic, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 2400th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 2400th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the twenty-second time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Well, okay. There was also entry 2000, which was amazing by the way. Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration…And whatever you do, please keep your minimum distance of 2 metres from me. We can never be too careful. Even on a blog entry. This beastly pandemic has gotten me in quite the tizzy. But not to worry. This entry is completely sterile and has been wiped down with disinfectant wipes ad infinitum. I can assure your safety should you try to read this ridiculous recycled piece of rubbish. I have even gotten my own face mask. I’m sporting the union jack colours, as it’s a wonderful time to show my national pride. I hope you’re wearing a face mask too. Perhaps they have ones with reds, whites, and blues that you can wear in the good old US of A. I would also like to thank your country for supplying us with ventilators and face masks. Johnson and all of us over here cannot thank you enough. It’s been a long sentence in your own residence, hasn’t it? For the safety of all of us citizens of the world, I encourage you to self-quarantine and follow all stay at home orders. The more we cooperate, the sooner we can flatten the curve and lessen the severity of this invisible monstrosity. I am doing this narration virtually in the comfort of my own home so there is no need to worry. In the mean time, keep your chin up and hang in there. We are all in this together. Oh dear, did I talk too long about the pandemic? It’s too late to change it. I guess you’re stuck with my overly long narration…For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “2400th” to “2500th” and “twenty-first” to “twenty-second”. I also added some rather lengthy remarks about the pandemic but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 2400th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 2400? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 2400. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 2500! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that someone controlling the weather would live in. Only something’s different. Towards the top, it looks just like an ordinary skyscraper. A luxurious office building – for women. White and pink accents emanated a powerful aura that ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A plain office building,” I said to myself. “This can’t be right! Could this be because of the pandemic?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back. She was wearing a white face mask and was looking very cautious.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse held out her hand, ensuring that I was a minimum distance of six feet away from her. “Social distancing measures have been put in place for this whole tower!” she shouted. “Pay careful attention to the floor and step on the marked spot.” She glanced at me again and shook her head. “You are not wearing a mask, so you will have to leave immediately!”
I rubbed hand sanitizer on my hands and quickly produced a red face mask. I put it on and approached the marked spot on the floor that she told me to stand. “I’m sorry,” I told her. “But there. I should be in compliance with all of the social distancing guidelines. Now, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?”
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. Everyone is in quarantine right now and no one can leave their floors. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 2401st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 2401st floor Sky Lobby.
Approaching a white and red service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. She was wearing a sky blue face mask with sun patterns all over it and her hand sanitizer sat right next to her. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Weather Muse” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…Also, I see that you’re following the guidelines. Don’t take that mask off and make sure that you’ve tested negative for the virus.”
A machine came down and immediately administered a test on me. Seconds later, the test was complete.
“NEGATIVE.” the machine boomed. “Temperature is 99.2 degrees Fahrenheit and no traces of COVID-19 can be found on subject. You are clear to proceed…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 2500 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors! You don’t have to see them. In fact, I advise that you don’t. Every floor is under strict quarantine orders so it will be more difficult to get to those floors.”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 2401 – Weather Muse
In this one, the latest phenomenon begins. My Muse is now able to control the weather and her mood influences what the weather will be. With that much power, it can’t be that good for me or anyone else. With too much power, how can she be stopped? Will I be her slave from now on? This is only the beginning, so look at the forecast and read this one. Don’t be surprised if the forecast looks a little strange. It’s my Muse’s doing.
Floor 2405-2406 – FriNESday Road Trip/Plenty of Saturday GoodNES…
With the whole weekend off, and my brother having the same clearance, what do I do at a time like this? Go on a road trip to my friend’s house. In this one, I share my excitement of going up north to my friend’s place with my brother, and the fun adventure that we had up there. A fun weekend of watching TV shows, playing games, and eating at restaurants. There is plenty of Saturday GoodNES up in the tiny town of Eastport. So pack your bags, get your warm clothes, bundle up, and read this one. It is a fun weekend adventure and it’s warm and cozy inside.
Floor 2414 – Gotta Go Fast…
In this one, I briefly talk about my excitement about seeing the Sonic the Hedgehog movie with my brother. Keep up and read this one, or you’re too slow!
Floor 2417 – November Rotation
There’s nothing more special than having a home cooked meal from your loved ones. In this case, I get a home cooked meal from my mom. It’s stuffed cabbage with all the fixin’s. It’s very good and I encourage you to read this when you have an empty stomach. It’s very filling and very satisfying. You’ll be glad that you did.
Floor 2427 – Happy Leap Day!
Leap Day only comes by once every four years. In this one, my Muse gets into the spirit, with plenty of leaps and bounds. Why is she younger? Is she taking Leap Day too literally? Leap forward, and read this one. And bonus points to you if you are a Leaper.
Floor 2438 – Happy Birthday, Dad!
Besides celebrating my dad’s birthday, I included this one for a very good reason. Since this would be one of the very last meals that we would be eating out for a while, I found this one to be quite special looking back. So go ahead and read it, and see the calm before the storm…
For this particular series, I decided to produce something a little different, since we were going through the pandemic. With so many days spent in isolation, I wanted to provide some encouragement and inspiration during this time. So whether you’re reading this during the pandemic or after pandemic, just know that this is a very trying time and event that none of us in this world will ever forget. Even more so than 9/11. Since the Spanish Flu in 1918, we have never had a pandemic of this magnitude. I am hoping that we can all learn together during this time, and find the savior that will save us all. Read a few and be inspired and uplifted. Put on some hand sanitizer, put on your rubber gloves and face mask, and read some of these. This is a once in a lifetime event that has changed this world forever and I’m hoping that these posts will change your life for the better. Do not fear and do not worry. We are all in this together.
Floor 2443 – Le vent se leve, il faut tenter de vivre!
In this one, I reflect on the recent development of the pandemic with Paul Valéry’s “Le Cimetière marin” (“The Graveyard by the Sea”). It is a wonderful poem and a wonderful read. And my perspective on the pandemic is just trying to cope with what just happened. Open your poetry book and give this one a read. And remember. The wind is rising. We must try to live!
Floor 2446 – COVID-19 Isolation – Day 5: Light in Every Circumstance
In this one, I provide inspiration and encouragement. Even with a pandemic in the early stages of development, light can still be found in the darkest of places. Have you found the light? If so, share it with everyone. Find the light, read this post, and share that light. You will definitely bring a smile to your friend’s face during these troubling times…
Floor 2459 – COVID-19 Isolation – Day 18: Middle of the week…again…
In this one, I completely end Me & My Muse and continue on with my daily COVID-19 Isolation updates. For this season that we’re currently in, it makes the most sense. So go ahead and read this entry and…did I really end it? I’ll leave that up to you to decide. Just read this entry and find out.
Wow! It looks like I had a little less favorites than what I thought. I included way more last time! Maybe I should’ve made the list longer. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 2500th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…You had very good reason not to. With this pandemic, it’s best that you don’t.”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 2500 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this twenty-fifth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 2500th floor.
A little like the 2400th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 2000. Pretty much the same room as the 2400th story, 2300th story, 2200th story, 2100th story, 1900th story, the 1800th story, the 1700th story, the 1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 2400th story, 2300th story, 2200th story, 2100th story, 1900th story, 1800th story, 1700th story, 1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her Hylian form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 2500. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 2400th floor, 2300th floor, 2200th floor, 2100th floor, 2000th floor, 1900th floor, the 1800th floor, the 1700th floor, the 1600th floor, the 1500th floor, the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 55 degrees and the silver lining is having this 2500th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 2400, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…And you’re staying safe during this pandemic? I’m glad you’re safe. Stay clean and sane!
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 2000 and a nearly identical post from Day 2300. I don’t know about you, but with the Super Bowl coming on tonight and me having just moved into a new apartment, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 2300th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 2300th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the twenty-first time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Well, okay. There was also entry 2000, which was amazing by the way. Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration…I also need to acknowledge just how much fun I had at Walt Disney World. It’s been a week since I got back from my holiday at Walt Disney World. I stayed at the Grand Floridian and it was splendid! Some light rain on a couple days, but mostly fair and sunny weather. And Galaxy’s Edge was smashing! The Millennium Falcon and Rise of the Resistance were easily my favourites! The food was fantastic. I especially loved the meal at Victoria and Albert’s…The one at Morimoto Asia and The BOATHOUSE was also memorable as well. Avatar Flight of passage was hands-down my favorite ride at Walt Disney World. It was breathtaking! At the World Showcase in Epcot, I did have a spot tea and a scone in the United Kingdom. I also had some fish and chips that were quite swell! Having experienced that long holiday there, I am about ready to go back. I have just about enough points to become part of their exclusive vacation club! One more trip should do it. Anyway, I am very refreshed from that long holiday and I’m ready to narrate like no tomorrow. Oh dear…My account of my trip there was too long there, wasn’t it? It’s too late to change it. I guess you’re stuck with my overly long narration…For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “2300th” to “2400th” and “twentieth” to “twenty-first”. I also added a rather lengthy account of my holiday at Disney World. It was quite an honour to go there, and far far better than that tacky wasteland that is Disneyland Paris but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 2300th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 2300? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 2300. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 2400! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that a Hylian princess would live in. A luxurious and royal office building – for women. White and blue accents emanated a powerful aura that ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A Hylian office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 2301st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 2301st floor Sky Lobby.
Approaching a white and red service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “The Legend of Muse” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 2400 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 2301 – The Legend of Muse
In this one, the epic adventure begins. With every hero slain, I am the last hope to save Hyrule. Yeah. There is that much at stake on this one, in addition to being pulled into a fictional world with a different twist. What is that twist? Grab your green tunic, and be sure to get your sword from the old man before you read this one. It’s dangerous to go alone…
Floor 2303 – Work Sweet Work
Besides returning to work from my week long trip at Disney World, this one just screams fanfiction. Wait a second! Didn’t I just play this game before? But who is this Kyle character? Is it just a weird ROM hack? Hey! Listen! Read this one and see how the story of legend continues…
Floor 2309 – Walt Disney World Recap
Have you ever traveled to a place beyond your wildest dreams? If not, I advise that you begin your journey here. In this entry, I recount my memorable trip to Walt Disney World, and make a wholehearted attempt to capture the magic for everyone else to experience. With over 21,000 words, this is more than just a mere post. This is an experience of a lifetime. Every day is carefully recalled, with plenty of pictures. Special attention to detail is given to various attractions, with a selection of them being “rideable” via YouTube video. If you have never experienced the magic, this is the next best thing, and the greatest gift I can offer to all of you. For the best experience, I recommend reading one day of the trip every day for the full seven days. This is the pinnacle of my recap posts, and I go out of my way to make it the very best experience that you will have. Vicarious, yes. And with an entry as big as Disney World itself, you can’t go wrong with this one. So grab your Mickey ears, a little imagination, and embark with me to the Most Magical Place on Earth…
Floor 2310 – November Rotation
While this has little to do with a tire rotation, it has a lot to do with the story arc. In this one, I play the know-it-all that runs through the events of a game world that I’m already familiar with, much to the frustration of the characters. Are the characters confused? You bet! What part of the adventure am I on? Read this one and experience what would happen if Link was a know-it-all.
Floor 2315 – Saturday Solace
In this one, the know-it-all shenanigans continue. I sneak into Hyrule Castle and have a conversation with Princess Muse. With all of my plot exposition, it drives her to the point of frustration. If you love hijinks like this, read this one. Even if you don’t, it’s an okay stab at a fanfic. Read this one, and watch out for the guards. They’re everywhere around the castle…
Floor 2327 – Let it go, let it go…
Judging on just the title of this one, you probably know where it’s going. In this post, I express my excitement and anticipation for Frozen II. For anyone who has Frozen Fever, this is a recommended read. Bonus points for anyone who joiks the opening song while reading this. Okay. Can I just say something crazy? This post is recommended for anyone who loves crazy.
Floor 2331 – Gifts Galore…
Besides my plan to buy gifts for my family, I decide to hurriedly end the first part of the Hylian Muse story arc. Can someone say the word abridge? Add in some witty lines and humor and you have a very entertaining read. Read this, and listen to the classical piece of “Ganon’s Castle” written by Ganondorf himself! Just don’t complement him. He HATES compliments.
Floor 2356 – The Rise of Skywalker Begins Tonight…
Having seen all of the other Star Wars movies, my anticipation was skyhigh, just looking forward to how the Skywalker Saga would end. In this one, I geek out and share my excitement of the last installment of the series that George Lucas started. And Disney can take it from here after that. I don’t know what they’re going to do with it. Who knows? Read this one, and grab your lightsaber. Things are about to get very intense.
Floor 2364 – Second Trip
Why did I include this one? Well, after spending basically all my life at my parent’s place, I finally get to move in to an apartment. A 3-bedroom duplex with 1.5 bathrooms, a basement, and a patio. And did I mention that it had a two-car garage? This one is worth the read. I’m just packing. So get your stuff together and get this one read. The move begins very soon…
Floor 2380 – Office Space was Wrong – Mondays ROCK!
In this entry, I use my clever wit and construct a convincing argument as to why Mondays are totally awesome. Angry at me yet? Hold your anger and read this one. Logic can indeed be useful. Especially when said logic is used to build convincing arguments on indefensible positions.
Floor 2382 – Now we’re Cooking!
What are we cooking now? In this post, I share my inspiration for cooking, and how important it’s going to be now that I’m living on my own. Who is my source of inspiration? Well, I got it! I found the perfect recipe! Still stumped? Get out your recipe book, create your favorite dish, and feast your eyes on this savory read. Season it well and take it all in. It’s a delectable one and there’s plenty for everybody. Bon appetit!
Floor 2391 – Friday Finale
In this one, the plot reaches its climax as we arrive at the conclusion to the Hylian Muse saga. What’s going on with Zalassa? Will she take over Hyrule? Are we already doomed? Stock up on fairies and your best heart potions and read the wonderful conclusion to this saga. And if you have the Master Sword, by all means, use it! Especially if you have full hearts.
Wow! It looks like I had a little less favorites than what I thought. I included way more last time! Maybe I should’ve made the list longer. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 2400th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 2400 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this twenty-second milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 2400th floor.
A little like the 2300th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 2000. Pretty much the same room as the 2300th story, 2200th story, 2100th story, 1900th story, the 1800th story, the 1700th story, the 1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 2300th story, 2200th story, 2100th story, 1900th story, 1800th story, 1700th story, 1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her Hylian form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 2400. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 2300th floor, 2200th floor, 2100th floor, 2000th floor, 1900th floor, the 1800th floor, the 1700th floor, the 1600th floor, the 1500th floor, the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 43 degrees and the silver lining is having this 2400th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 2300, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…And you had a great time at Disney World? I’m glad to hear that!
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 2000 and a nearly identical post from Day 2200. I don’t know about you, but with me being at Walt Disney World, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 2200th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 2200th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the twentieth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Well, okay. There was also entry 2000, which was amazing by the way. Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration…I also need to acknowledge his need for a memorable family holiday. Walt Disney World, you say? Smashing! Listen Kyle. When you do visit Epcot at the World Showcase, visit the United Kingdom and have a spot of tea and a scone for me, will you? Zippity do-dah and all that other jazz…(My, do I really need to visit Walt Disney World some day. Maybe when I get a break from this narrating, I will have a chance.) My oh my what a wonderful day it is? Isn’t it just magical? For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “2200th” to “2300th” and “nineteenth” to “twentieth”. I also added an expression of my most sincere gratitude of his holiday at Disney World. It is quite an honour to go there, and far far better than that tacky wasteland that is Disneyland Paris but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 2200th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago. And let’s not forget my undying gratitude for your wonderful holiday at Disney W… *sigh* That’s it! After this narration shift is over, I am scheduling a holiday to Walt Disney World! I think that I’ll stay at the Grand Floridian this time. The Contemporary was rather fair and the room didn’t appeal to my tastes…) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 2200? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 2200. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice! Bah! I changed my mind! Grand Floridian? What was I thinking? I want to stay in that new Star Wars resort! The Galactic Starcruiser, right?)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 2300! Maybe we should change it soon…Perhaps give it a major overhaul and make it resemble Walt Disney World in its entirety. Ah, for my holiday to Walt Disney World, I’ll be sure not to forget to pack my light saber…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that a twelve-year-old would live in. A trendy and flashy building – for tween girls. Pink accents emanated a powerful aura that ran up and down the glitter-adorned structure. A large monitor with multiple displays was prominently visible, each one displaying a different social media platform, with one monitor constantly updating the latest and trendiest YouTube videos. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the tween girls, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A fashionably glamorous and trendy building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 2201st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 2201st floor Sky Lobby.
Approaching a pink and glittered service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “InbeTWEEN…” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 2300 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 2201 – InbeTWEEN…
In this one, I come to terms with my now pre-prepubescent Muse. I learn of her new behavior and my lack of fluency in the Tween language. What? There’s a Tween language? There totes is hundo p! Don’t understand what that means? Get woke and start reading this already. Start stanning this blog with your fam. Understanding the language is so goals, so read it and see how this one is GOAT. Man, I really need to read this boots…
Floor 2206 – Far From Home…
So did I just go on some trip? Am I far away from home? Maybe this is just a fun hype post about my excitement for Spider-Man: Far From Home. And apparently, I’m not the only one who’s excited, as Muse and her bestie is. Who is her bestie? Sorry. You’re just going to have to read this and find out. Read it, and don’t forget to update your Instagram status. Your fam’s waiting…
Floor 2210 – Twins Days Festival is coming up…
In this one, I express my excitement for the upcoming Twins Days Festival. My Muse is also very excited, only her twin looks nothing like her. Only a special favor can make this moment even more special. What is the moment? Who granted this favor? Find your twin and read this with them. Don’t have a twin? Sorry. Can’t help you there…
Floor 2213 – Free Tim Horton’s
Yup. It’s exactly what it sounds like. What can make returning from a Toastmasters meeting to work be even better? When you find a box of Tim Horton’s donuts in the 4th floor kitchen. Moments like these don’t come every day, so you know what to do. Grab the post quickly and eat it up boots. And enjoy the sweet aftertaste.
Floor 2216 – Twinning it Up in Twinsburg
Here it is. The fun thing about a vacation is being able to provide live updates every step of the way. This post is no exception, so go ahead and read how the first day went. It’s the bread and cheese, so don’t worry. There will be plenty of meat tomorrow. And it looks like the older and younger Muse twins are having fun!
Floor 2217 – Twins Days Festival – The Main Event
As promised, the meat is all here. So sink your teeth into as much of the action as possible. With a parade, a carnival, a contest, talent shows, award shows, and a fireworks show, this was a loaded day, overflowing with awesome sauce. And with a cool photo essay, you should be all covered. Sink your teeth into this one, and use a napkin when you’re finished. There’s plenty of Twins Days goodness there.
Floor 2219 – Twins Days Festival – The Recap: For REALZ this Time!
You want more Twins Days? Well, you’re in luck! Brace yourself, because this one is a feast. A 5,000+ word feast allowing you to relive all of my favorite moments at one of the most memorable weekends in the summer of 2019. Are you game? Are you hangry for some more Twins Days? Then go on and read it! ALL of it. I assure you. You will not be disappointed.
Floor 2222 – Smarter Phone
So did I finally send my Smart Phone off to college? Not quite. Instead, I bid my Samsung J3V farewell in favor of a newer model capable of taking much better selfies. My old phone’s OS was starting to act up, so this upgrade was much needed. What phone did I buy? Open the app and start reading this post. There’s a funny repair story too, so you definitely want to check it out.
Floor 2229 – My First Niece
After much waiting and anticipation, it finally happened. My sister is finally a mother and I have my first niece. To any of your who has ever experienced a woman giving birth before, this was very special and I’m glad that Harper Rae Otis is in this world. So go ahead and read it, but be very careful. Also be quiet. It’s got that new baby smell.
Floor 2235 – Be Prepared!
“For what?” “For the death of the king!”
In this one, I share my excitement about the hype that is the new Lion King movie. So, are you prepared to read this? Then bare your teeth and ambitions and sink it right into this entry. It’s much better than zebra. I assure you.
Floor 2237 – Time for the Weekend
While I’m very excited about it being the weekend, this is not why I selected this post. In this one, the Tween Muse saga continues with something strange happening to my Muse. The usual suspect is brought up, with Muse’s fam very worried about her. Why are they so worried? What happened to Boldie? Read this one, and don’t forget to check your phone. There could be a new group text!
Floor 2241 – Chill Tuesday
In this one, the plot thickens in the Tween Muse saga when I find out more about what’s going on with my Muse. Apparently, popularity on social media makes her more powerful. Sound too good to be true? I thought so, until I saw the chaos that unfolded and her fam giving me another worried report about her. Maybe I should read more of their group texts? Anyway, really read this one boots and whatever you do, don’t look at any social media post from my Muse. Likes are her currency of power. So are selfies. Beware! You have been warned.
Floor 2247 – Happy Labor Day!
The plot thickens even more with my Muse’s popularity reaching unprecedented bounds. Who can stop her? No one, unless…wait! No story arc today? Everyone’s got the day off? Well read this entry then! How many times do you get a nice view of the Me & My Muse set? Not too often. So read it and if you glance carefully, you might be able to see the Dark Muse’s luxury trailer! It’s an extra special one, indeed…
Floor 2251 – And the Weekend is Back
Things go from bad to worse when the story arc continues for realz this time. Something happens to Muse’s bestie and Muse’s popularity reaches a dangerously unprecedented level. Is her bestie her slave now? Will her popularity reach earth? Read this one, but IGNORE every one of Muse’s posts! She can’t have any more popularity or we’re doomed! What’s this?! My Muse has a new post? My favorite selfie? I…I love all her posts…I will stan every one…
Floor 2252 – Writing and Leisure
In this one, Muse suddenly goes into a deep sleep when a familiar face provides a strategy to stop her. What is this strategy? Would now be a good time to look up the dankest memes? Would that be goals? Who is this familiar face? Read this one, and think of the greatest new meme to grace the interwebs…
Floor 2258 – Friggatriskaideka…wha?
Besides having a word that’s very fun to say, I have a serious discussion with my Muse about Dark Muse’s past, and her true wishes and desires. Wait a second! How did Muse get free? Shouldn’t she be a tween in a deep sleep? Read this one, and what you do, beware of the number 13 and watch out for that…*REOW!!!!* *sigh* black cat…
Floor 2264 – Time for a Break…
In this one, Muse awakens and her social media fame surpasses that of the internet. Her popularity becomes universal and she achieves meme status. And not just any meme, but the ruler of all memes! The entire world gets a much needed facelift and Muse becomes our wonderful new ruler! What?! I don’t have a problem with her ruling at all! I do, however, have a problem with those that don’t respect our wonderful ruler! Pay your respects to her and read this one! And if you haven’t been keeping up to date with all her selfies, you’re in big trouble! Muse will want to have a word with you…
Floor 2265 – Friday Fuji Fun
Before I can go ahead and enjoy my sushi, the real villain is revealed! A troublemaking poser named (Emcee) MCMaker. If his posts have reached your feed, DELETE them. Besides his reveal, me and Remedy do damage control ensuring that our wonderful Meme ruler remains in power. Read this one, and have nothing to do with that MCMaker imposter. He’s a threat to our Great Meme Muse, but one that will soon be eliminated. Read this one and show support for our queen. She’ll really appreciate it. Your likes keep her in power.
Floor 2267 – Muse meets the Maker
In this one, the Tween Muse Saga reaches its wonderful finale, with an epic showdown between Muse and MCMaker. Who will win? Who will lose? What dank memes await in this wonderfully epic post full of awesome sauce? Read this one, and don’t forget to like it. This is one battle that will go down in history…
Floor 2268 – School Daze
With the Tween Muse Saga at a wonderful end, it is now time for school to begin for the Intangibles. Because of Muse’s reign as a powerful meme, Intangible school was delayed for three weeks. With class now in session, how does Muse fare on her first day? Will she and her class need to make up those three weeks in summer school? How much homework does she have? Read this one, and put it in your backpack. Remember what you read because there will be a pop quiz on it tomorrow!
Floor 2185 – Fresh Cider
Believe it or not, I did not pick this one for the fresh cider (as it was, the only cider there was hard cider, so I didn’t drink any). In this one, the Dark Muse encounters a serious episode of depression. Why is she so depressed? Does she need to “get real”? Whatever the case, she totes needed some serious intervention to get herself woke. That is all that I will share. For the rest, you will just have to read it. Grab your favorite cider and read this one. It’s a real emotional ride. Believe me…
Floor 2295 – The Most Magical Place on Earth
In this one, I share my excitement as I travel with my brother and parents to the Happiest Place on Earth. Walt Disney World. With this magical place having 30,000 acres, it is twice the size of Manhattan. My Muse and her twin also get the opportunity to share the magic. So everyone, put on your Mickey Mouse hat and start singing Zippity do-dah, because WE’RE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!! Well, I and most of my family, at least. Check out the pictures and the story for this is the post of a lifetime.
Wow! It looks like I had a little less favorites than what I thought. I included way more last time! Maybe I should’ve made the list longer. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 2300th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 2300 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this twenty-second milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them… (Which reminds me! Yes. Fresh zingers are good, but that’s besides the point! This is my last line so my narrating shift is over! Time to call Disney and plan my holiday! I already asked about the Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser. That’s booked for the next two solid years! Grand Floridian it is, then. Think I’ll make it January 18th to the 26th. Farewell! See you in entry 2400!)
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 2300th floor.
A little like the 2200th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 2000. Pretty much the same room as the 2200th story, 2100th story, 1900th story, the 1800th story, the 1700th story, the 1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 2200th story, 2100th story, 1900th story, 1800th story, 1700th story, 1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was thirteen years old, dressed up as Elsa in her tween form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. Laying beside her on the same bed was Twin Muse, also thirteen years old, but she was dressed up as Anna in her tween form and fast asleep, with no note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. And her twin sister is asleep beside her? Aw! Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master (and YOU, Kyle!) Yes Twin Muse! Will you let me write this?
I made this tower for you and me (And I helped too! Include that! Did you include it?) *sigh* Yes I did… This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 2300 (Wow! 2300 already?! Should we tell him that we’re actually sleeping in Cinderella Castle?) Yes Kyle. We’re sleeping in Cinderella Castle, and yes, we’re at 2300 already. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily (YEAH! Thanks Kyle! We both really appreciate it! Seriously! We REALLY do!) *sigh* Twin Muse, can you stop adding to this letter? We’ll never get it written! (Hey! Did you just see Cinderella? I also saw Mickey and Minnie too!) *sigh* Twin Muse!! Let’s finish this letter already. I’m tired! Aren’t you? (*yawn* Yes Muse. Very tired…*yawn* Tee hee!) If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written (It is. I just checked! She’s right!) Twin Muse!! (Okay okay! Sorry!). I am (We are) still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me (And me too! You saved me plenty of times in the past. I am very thankful!) and your gratitude. (Yes. Sounds good) Twin Muse?
Love, (Lots of love! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO) Twin Muse! (What? I love him too and I wanted to include plenty of X’s and O’s as proof!) Okay then. We both love him lots and lots and lots (and lots lots lots lots lots!!!)
Your Muse (and Twin Muse)
(P.S. I would like to thank you for sharing this wonderful and magical trip to Walt Disney World with me. Cinderella’s Castle is AMAZING and I’m so glad that we’re able to sleep in it tonight! Speaking of sleep, my sister just passed out on her bed. I’m sure she’s just very tired. I am thankful that the Creator is willing to let me experience being my true Intangible self again. If only this could be permanent! Who knows? I am in a very magical place and all of my wishes could come true. I am hoping and wishing that this will happen to me…*YAWN* Wow! That was a big yawn! Well, before I fall asleep writing this, I want to say thank you again Kyle! I would thank the two older Muses but they both went inside us to get ready for the next transformation! Love you lots and lots and lots! XOXOXO Tee hee…)
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 2200th floor, 2100th floor, 2000th floor, 1900th floor, the 1800th floor, the 1700th floor, the 1600th floor, the 1500th floor, the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 87 degrees and the silver lining is having this 2300th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 2200, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Whoa! All that quarreling back and forth! Well, they’re sisters so that’s normal…Aw! You’re welcome Twin Muse! I hope to see you more as an Intangible as well! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…And you want to go to Disney World too, huh? Let me know how it goes!
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 2000 and a nearly identical post from Day 2100. I don’t know about you, but with it being Wednesday and me being really busy with my job, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 2100th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 2100th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the nineteenth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Well, okay. There was also entry 2000, which was amazing by the way. Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “2100th” to “2200th” and “eighteenth” to “nineteenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 2100th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 2100? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 2100. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 2200! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that an otherworldly woman would live in. A luxuriously posh office building – for women. Pink accents emanated a powerful aura that ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A luxurious and magical building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 2101st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 2101st floor.
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “A Long Quest” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 2200 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 2101 – A Long Quest
In this one, my Muse is nowhere to be found! Instead, I meet this Mysterious Blonde on a spaceship in deep space. Who is this woman, and how is she connected to my Muse? Read this one and find out.
Floor 2108 – Mid-Month Toast
Posting isn’t easy when you’re confined to a hospital bed! In this one, I awaken to extreme paralysis at a hospital in Tikrez. How did I get there? What treatment will I receive to recover? Where’s Zoria 1000? Keep reading, and don’t forget to bring a card tree. The pain is quite severe…OWWWW!!!!
Floor 2109 – Autism Trivia
Surprisingly, this isn’t about the Autism Trivia at all. Okay. Maybe just a little. But for the most part, the plot continues. The plan is devised to escape the hospital. But being unable to move my legs, how do I escape? Read this one, and don’t forget the first aid kit! We might need it just in case…
Floor 2110 – I Want a PIZZA!
A good pizza sounds good about now, doesn’t it? In this delicious entry, I help myself to some keto fathead pizza. And on a disappointing note, I can’t find Zoria 1000 anywhere. She was with me in the hotel, but she vanished from her bed! Where is she? Will she ever turn up? Read this one, and try a slice or two of that fathead pizza. There’s still a few slices left and it’s really good. Believe it!
Floor 2114 – Taste of Summer
Besides having a delicious taste of summer, some old man named Zardin visits me in my dreams. He rebukes me to stop learning magic and he does bring up a very valid point. Does my 13-year old self heed his advice? What does summer taste like? Read this one, and don’t forget your sunglasses. It’s starting to get warm…
Floor 2117 – The Endgame
To all you Marvel geeks out there, you’re in for a treat! The Marvel Cinematic Universe comes to an end with its 22nd installment in the Infinity Stones saga. Thanos has all the stones and the fate of the Universe rests on the Avengers that were spared from the Snap that wiped out half of all life in the entire universe. And…Who am I kidding? This entry is just me nerding out to one of the biggest blockbuster hits of all time. $1.2 billion opening weekend? Yessir! $2.7 billion? Absolutely. 2nd place? Yup. Some day, Avatar. Some day…
Floor 2123 – May Rain
Besides it raining outside, the plot thickens when the Dark Muse decides to pay Zoria 50000 a visit. Just how bad can things get with the Dark Muse inside a woman from a magical race? Need I say more? Read this one with haste, and be careful. She’s out there and she’s dangerous…
Floor 2124 – Sweet Treat
In this particular entry, Dark Zoria has a fun time absorbing every Zorpozian’s magic in sight. No one can stop her and she’s getting more and more powerful by the second. But did I mention that there was ice cream too? Forget the chaos that’s going on. Let’s fall asleep and dream of all the delicious ice cream we can eat. Ready this one, and help yourself to the delicious ice cream. Just don’t wake up, lest you want to encounter Dark Zoria’s reign of childish terror.
Floor 2133 – Arts and Crafts
So have I discovered a new hobby? Am I taking up arts and crafts? Don’t get your hopes up. I’m not. It’s a clever setup from all the progress that I’ve been making on Yoshi’s Crafted World. On the story side, Dark Zoria has helped herself to every last bit of magic on the planet, and she begins the search for more magic. What planets does she go to? Will her reign of terror ever end? Read this one, and don’t forget the glue and plastic googly eyes. I ran out of money to construct a quality ending so I’m going to resort to the crafts to finish it.
Floor 2136 – One Year…Already?
In this one, I celebrate one year of working at Dow Chemical with a delicious sushi dinner at Maru with my family. What can be better than one year of service? Well, the sushi is good and so is this post. Read this one, and try a peace or two. Happy one-year work anniversary!
Floor 2144 – I Choose You…
What am I choosing? Pikachu, of course! And not just any old Pikachu, mind you. Only one that is a hard-boiled detective whose voice bares an uncanny resemblance to Ryan Reynolds. And to all you pokéfans out there, I included an extra easter egg in this post! Can you find it? Come on! Catch that wild post in your pokéball and read it already! Gotta read them all, gotta read them alll! MuséMON!
Floor 2146 – NESmorial Day Weekend Begins
What do you get when your friend visits for most of Memorial Day weekend? A NESmorial Day weekend, of course! And this one’s packed with plenty of fun and goodNES. It’s worth a read, so check it out!
Floor 2152 – Day in the Desert
In this one, I’m enjoying the heat in hot and sunny Glendale, Arizona. With it being almost 100 degrees, the hotel room’s air conditioning is the perfect place to be. I express how excited I am for my cousin’s wedding tomorrow, and…Okay okay. None of that actually ever happened. The actual title is called “Day of Sorrow”, and I lament over missing out on a flight to Arizona because the unexpected happened with my grandpa. How did I cope? Not very well. Read on to tomorrow’s and you’ll see how everything unfolds…
Floor 2153 – Movie and a Wedding
With my vacation to Arizona for my cousin’s wedding now becoming “the vacation that never was”, what can be done to lift myself out of the depths of despair? Catching a movie at the local movie theater, of course! This basically is where I discuss the change of plans. I see the new Aladdin movie with my brother and I get a front row seat to my cousin’s wedding. How did I get this seat? Read this one, and see how I cope with the change of the normal routine and get a much needed update on how my grandpa’s doing. The wedding was amazing by the way. Read this one, and give my cousin your best.
Floor 2159 – YEAH COFFEE!
What happens when you have a coffee maker that bites the dust? You get get a caffeine-induced entry about buying a new coffee maker, of course! The old one had to go, and the new one is amazing. So grab your cup, fill it up, and read this entry. And in case you don’t like it black, there’s plenty of Coffeemate in the fridge. So go ahead and read this. It’s freshly brewed!
Floor 2162 – Happy 60th Birthday, Mom!
Just an entry about acknowledging my mom’s 60th birthday. Happy birthday, mom!
Floor 2168 – Saturday Shower
In this one, two showers are going on. Inside at a banquet hall and outside as well. And on top of that, the Zorpozian Muse story arc continues with Dark Zoria up to no good again. Does she take all the power? Does she create her own Teeheeverse? I just can’t tell you. Read it and find out for yourself! And do grab an umbrella. It’s pretty wet outside…
Floor 2175 – Toy Story 4
In this one, I express my excitement for the fourth installment of Toy Story. Something important happens in this movie, and in case you haven’t seen it, I’m not going to tell you what it is. Read this one, and share the excitement of the riveting conclusion to the Toy Story saga! And don’t forget to see the movie too!
Floor 2182 – Summer Post Done Quick
Okay. In this particular one, I showcase my awesome speed strats for my Me & My Muse run. I call this one the “easy entry” strat. As a fun reference to the Summer Games Done Quick (SGDQ) charity stream, this run, er, entry is a fun and entertaining read. And time is called when I read the end of this description. And…TIME!
Floor 2186 – North for the Fourth
How often is it that I actually go up north for the Fourth of July? Not very often, actually. In this one, I go over my checklist and share my excitement for a fun-filled weekend. Read this one, and don’t forget to pack it. You don’t want to leave it behind…
Floor 2192 – Six Years and Counting
Has it really been six years that I’ve been doing Me & My Muse? Yes it has, and if you haven’t read an anniversary post, this one’s for you. Here’s to six years of this wonderful experiment. Read this entry and celebrate.
Floor 2195 – The End of Another Work Week
Besides work being done for the week, the Zorpozian Muse saga continues with the Dark Muse playing a game of hide and seek. Who wins? Who loses? Read this one, before…Before what? Tee hee! Read it now, and watch me create my very own Teeheeverse! Tee hee!
Floor 2196A-B – Taming the Light – Part I & II
Tee hee hee hee hee! In this one, I eat some more yummy light, and…The actual narrator gets free from Dark Zoria’s clutches. Dark Zoria is at large, and absolutely nothing can stop her now. Does Kyle surrender? This could very well be a first. And also the first ever two-part entry! How does Kyle cope with the New Teeheeverse Order? Read this one, swear your allegience to Dark Zoria, and all will be fine. And don’t forget to end your sentences with “tee hee”. Tee hee!
Wow! It looks like I had a lot more favorites than what I thought. I included way more than last time! Maybe I should’ve shortened the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 2200th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 2200 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this twenty-second milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 2200th floor.
A little like the 2100th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 2000. Pretty much the same room as the 2100th story, 1900th story, the 1800th story, the 1700th story, the 1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 2100th story, 1900th story, 1800th story, 1700th story, 1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was thirteen years old again in her Zorpozian form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 2200. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 2100th floor, 2000th floor, 1900th floor, the 1800th floor, the 1700th floor, the 1600th floor, the 1500th floor, the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 85 degrees and the silver lining is having this 2200th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 2100, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 2000 and a nearly identical post from Day 1900. I don’t know about you, but with it being spring and coming home from a long day at work, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but I’m back from post 1900! With 2000, we wanted to ensure that the entry was special, and it was. With that all over, you will get more of the same. It is the very same me from the 1900th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1900th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the eighteenth time in a row? This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Well, okay. There was also entry 2000, which was amazing by the way. Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did add a little extra content and change “2000th” to “2100th” and “seventeenth” to “eighteenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 200 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1900th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 200 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1900? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1900. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 2100! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red poinsettias.. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Well, of course it was! Day 2000 was 100 days ago, with a tower on top of a mountain outside a large city. My, was that epic!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 2001st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 2001st floor.
Approaching a white colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “ExperiMENTAL 2.0” floor. This floor is not one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 2100 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 2014 – Awesome Entry Done Quick
Okay. In this particular one, I showcase my awesome speed strats for my Me & My Muse run. I call this one the “easy entry” strat. As a fun reference to the Awesome Games Done Quick (AGDQ) charity stream, this run, er, entry is a fun and entertaining read. And time is called when I read the end of this description. And…TIME!
Floor 2022 – Shivering Sunday
Besides it being very cold, a warm exchange is seen between Muse and her twin sister. Also, the Dark Muse gets a makeover! What kind of makeover did she get? Read this one and find out.
Floor 2023 – Welcome to Siberia!
Forget Michigan. For all I know, I could very well be in the middle of Siberia. In this one, I share with everyone just how cold it is outside. With wind chills this low, it is dangerous to even be outside. How dangerous? Don’t want to ruin the suspense, my friend. Read this entry, but be sure to bundle up before you do. It’s a very cold one!
Floor 2028 – Keeping Warm
Besides it very cold, I keep warm from the elements. In this one, my Muse, possessed by the Dark Muse, immediately fulfills her megalomaniacal desires. She takes my One Privilege and wins. How does the future play out with Muse-dominated society? Read this one and witness the new terror.
Floor 2031 – The Cold After the Storm
In this one, my area receives the storm of the century. Sub-zero wind chills and an enormous 10 inches of snow blankets the entire area, making travel and safety problematic. How do I cope with the crazy storm? Go ahead and read this one, but I would definitely bring a shovel. It’s buried pretty deep. You will have to do some digging to get to it…
Floor 2033 – BRRR!!!!!
The title says it all. In this one, I experience another sub-zero day, with the high only getting into the single digits. Read this one, but I advise that you do it in front of a very warm fire. It’s pretty frozen.
Floor 2042– More Progress!
In this one, I rejoice over finally continuing on my much anticipated novel: A Long Quest. The Dark Muse is also back, so there’s more progression in this story arc. Did she take my privilege again? Will there be another Muse dictatorship? Read this one, and enjoy the story.
Floor 2067 – Fat Tuesday Hangover…
In this one, I explain the consequences of overindulging on Fat Tuesday. I don’t advise it. I express great remorse for my gluttony. Read this one, but whatever you do, keep that food away from me! I’m really not hungry right now, and it will do you some good as well.
Floor 2082 – Flavor of the Week
In this one, I describe the new family initiative. Each person is to provide a dinner, one day per week. For this particular entry, it’s my turn. What’s on the menu for this week? Come into the kitchen, read this one, and find out for yourself. Oh. And don’t forget to plan your dinner for the week. Your turn is next.
Floor 2084 – SaturNESday Funday
In this one, the rebooted Dark Muse Saga continues. To summarize, she seizes control of everything and there’s nothing that can stop her. What happens next in this brave new future? Read this one in secret, for “she” could be watching. All hail our new Musey leader!
Floor 2086 – Car Wash
Besides washing my car, this is not why I chose this entry. In this one, I win the trust of my brave and fearless leader and I get a “promotion”. I mean, being her personal slave is better than building her new castle, right? How do I handle my new responsibilities? Read this one quickly before she finds out. I have a very long list of hers to complete.
Floor 2093 – Feeling the Melody
In this one, I decided to end Me & My Muse once in for all, in favor of a brand new blog idea: Me & My Music. I basically go over the new format and introduce everyone to my new host: Melody! It’s a very musical read and a wonderful beginning to a new era for The Walker Estate. I had a lot of fun writing this one and…Did you go and read it? Ah! You noticed the number didn’t you?! April Fools!
Floor 2094 – April Toast
Besides it being just another night for a Toastmasters meeting, the Rebooted Dark Muse Saga comes to an end. Does her castle get built? Do I get promoted to second in command and serve as her lap dog forever? Will some lazy laborers for her castle be taught a lesson? Read this, and witness the conclusion to this fun and engaging story arc.
Wow! It looks like I had less favorites than what I thought. I included a little less than last time! Maybe I should’ve added more to the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 2100th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 2100 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this twenty-first milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 2100th floor.
A little like the 2000th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 2000. Pretty much the same room as the 1900th story, the 1800th story, the 1700th story, the 1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1900th story, 1800th story, 1700th story, 1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her original form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 2100. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 2000th floor, 1900th floor, the 1800th floor, the 1700th floor, the 1600th floor, the 1500th floor, the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 69 degrees and the silver lining is having this 2100th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 2000, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include…
Muse: Kyle! No! Stop! This is entry 2000! Are you REALLY going to recycle content from your past milestone posts? Come on!
What are you talking about? This script IS from entry 2000!
Muse: I don’t think that it is. Can you please check the script for me?
Okay. I will. For your sake…
*reaches into hammerspace and pulls script out of pocket*
See? Right here! Me & My Muse Script for entry…1900? Oh! I was reading from 1900! Okay. Where did I put the script for entry 2000?
*puts script back into hammerspace and pulls another large script out of pocket*
Ah! Here we go! The OFFICIAL Me & My Muse Script for Entry 2000. Are you ready?
Muse: Yes! Let’s do this!
Well, I already rehearsed, so I will put the script back…
*puts script back into hammerspace inside pocket*
This is it. Let’s go the full nine yards with something that has never been attempted before.
Let’s try this out. If this doesn’t work, you will never see one of these again. And by this, I most certainly mean a post commemorating the second millennial milestone…
Muse: It’s a good thing this post is Y2K compliant!
Yeah. I’ll say. Continuing on…
Ideas. Thoughts. Hopes. Dreams. Where do they all come from? They all have a point of origin. They all have to start somewhere. One would say that the most brilliant ideas in the world are formed in the brain, but the brain is only a powerful machine. A supercomputer that processes the greatest ideas in all of creation. But where do the ideas flow from? In following the information from its source, we find that the greatest ideas come from the heart. It is in here that we find all the magic. And when this heart lets this magic loose, wonderful things start to happen. Ideas flow everywhere and are fed into the supercomputer. Wonderful worlds are created. Vibrant worlds rich in scenery. Rich in beauty. These worlds come alive and are all well contained in powerful words and sentences. And now the Muse interu…
Muse: That is beautiful!
You really think so? I am flattered that you have decided to invite me back for another wonderful milestone post. I am very happy that you have entrusted me with my narrating expertise. It is what I do best, and it is what I live for. Such wonderful and well-written narrations. None of that garbage that you see in the non-millennial milestones…
And now, I will take over the narration from here. Thanks for narrating the introduction!
Anytime! This will surely not be the last of me, as this story is a wonderful epic, and will require some expertly narrated narrations…
Muse: And we both eagerly await them. Farewell, narrator! We’ll see you in the epic parts!
We surely will!
And all of a sudden, my Muse had a very eager look on her face. It was one brimming with happiness and joy. She teleported me to her room at once, and she laid down on her freshly made bed. The linens were pink and white, and the reason why my Muse is laying at her bed puzzled me. Was she tired? Did she need a nap?
I suddenly saw something glow brightly. The outline of a heart appeared on my Muse’s chest. The outline flashed and materialized into a white flashing heart of light. My Muse pointed to that flashing heart.
“Let’s go, Kyle.” She told me, as if everything depended on me going.
I glanced at that heart and frowned. “Go where?”
My Muse now had a big smile on her face. “Where else, Kyle? Into my heart!”
A tiny ant-size Muse appeared and before I could even do anything, she touched me and I shrank to her size. My Muse’s smile widened. Her giant smile conveying the deepest level of ecstasy.
My smaller Muse tightly grasped my hand and we flew up. The heart of light emitted a whirling cyclone of light. It whirled around as we flew downward, sucking us both in. A blinding light overcame my eyes.
It is said that the heart of a Muse is the most beautiful thing that you can ever see. Inside that heart was something even more beautiful. A vast world, full of life and beauty. A lovely paradise and the perfect escape for any weary traveler. Kyle’s vision returned to him and his eyes focused. He saw his Muse standing next to him, wearing the most beautiful white dress imaginable. Whiter than snow. Whiter than any white that you have ever seen.
I glanced at my Muse and saw the beautiful world that was before us. The sun was out, and we were in a vast field full of white flowers. A flowery sea of purity.
I again glanced at the field, looking all confused. “Where are we?” I asked her.
My Muse smiled and pointed all around the landscape. “We…Are in my heart. This is the most private place that I have, and I wanted to share it with you.”
“But you…” I said, flabbergasted. “You are laying on your bed. The flashing heart…”
My Muse nodded. “Yes. We are inside my heart now, and I am still laying on my bed. Kyle, don’t you understand? I am Intangible, so I can be in more than one place at once.”
“Yes, that’s true.” I blurted, as I glanced at her beautiful brown hair. It was a golden brown, as everything about her appeared to be pure and angelic.
My Muse held out her hand like it was a written invitation. “Come,” she pleaded. “I am taking you to someplace very special…”
I accepted her invitation and grasped her hand. Walking hand in hand, we walked through the field. That’s when I noticed that the field was just surrounded by a strange plane of space. “Why does this field look like this?” I asked.
And immediately, I heard a voice answer:
The field looks the way it does because it is a world that is not finished yet.
“Who are you?” I asked the voice.
Do you really seek to know who I am? Keep following her and you will find the answer you’re looking for.
I looked at my Muse, who had a slight smile on her face. “Do you know who he is?” I asked her.
“Just follow me, Kyle.” She simply answered. “Everything will make sense soon enough…”
I nodded and I followed her through the field of white flowers. Suddenly, a bunch of other projections adjacent to the flowery field appeared. Various other blobs representing unfinished worlds. The blobs were all rotating, as if they were orbiting around something.
We both left the flowery field into a black formless space of nothingness and a bridge made of light appeared. We followed that bridge for a long distance to the next projection. In this one, we were in a giant room. A gigantic muse lay in her bed, sleeping, saying “Tee hee”, between breaths.
With that, I gasped. I know where this place is! I was suddenly flooded with a bunch of bad memories. Being her slave…Pretending to be her Kyle Ken doll…Getting shut in the drawer…I glanced over at the drawer, and was filled with terror. The same drawer that I was shut in! “Please don’t shut me in there again!” I cried.
My Muse placed her hand on my shoulder. “It will be alright, Kyle. This is a memory. We have to go through a few strange places before we get to that special place.”
“Why did you bring me to this terrible place?” I scowled.
My Muse turned my head with her hands and pointed.
“There you are, tee hee!” The Muse clone shouted.
“What?” I frowned. “Are we just going to turn ourselves in?”
“Turn yourself in?” The Muse clone smiled. “What silly thing are you talking about? Tee hee!”
“Kyle,” my Muse said, pointing to her. “She is not a Muse clone!”
Suddenly, I looked closer at her. She was both the beginning and end of my pain. She was the Dark Muse.
“Are we going now?” “The Dark Muse asked, looking impatient. “That voice told us…”
“Shh!” My Muse shushed her. “Kyle doesn’t know…”
“I don’t know what?” I asked her. “Spill it!”
“Okay!” My Muse told me. “A mysterious voice told me to take you and the Dark Muse to a very special place. None of us have ever been there before, so it will be our first time.”
“Yeah!” The Dark Muse shouted. “And I wanted to visit this memory first before we went there. I was waiting for both of you so I didn’t want to go by myself! Tee hee!”
“Well let’s go then!” I told them.
We all proceeded forward. The Muses were on either side of me. My Muse on my left hand and the Dark Muse on my right hand. We exited the painful memory and walked onto another bridge made of light. The light of the bridge suddenly enveloped us, enclosing us into a tube of light. The tube shot us forward, around a complex network of light. As we shot upward, new connections materialized to form more of the tubed light. It went upward, in a mysterious whirl.
“Where is this going?” I gasped.
“I don’t know, but it feels like a fun ride!” The Dark Muse shouted. “Whee! Tee hee!”
“I love it too!” My Muse agreed. “Isn’t this fun?”
The tube of light kept winding upward in a dizzying path, whirling clockwise further upward. It then went straight up, and then back down. And then up for a long time. Finally, the path veered forward and spit us out onto land.
This bright sphere of light filled the entire landscape and made the void and all the other partially formed worlds disappear. None of us could believe our eyes.
I glanced around and saw a black and white checkered floor that expanded as far as my eyes could see. The room was so big that I couldn’t even see any of the walls. An enormous throne sat suspended, far in the distance. All of the décor was of either white or gold. A great waterfall flowed behind the throne, without coming from any wall. Looking up at the waterfall, I made the sudden realization that I couldn’t see the ceiling of the room either.
“Kyle, Muse, and Dark Muse, welcome.” A great voice boomed. A bright light appeared and materialized into the figure of a white robed man wearing a crown made of light. A light aura emanated from every corner of his body.
He flashed again and a bright light flowed from me to him. “While you exist in my world, I will take all privileges that anyone has. I will return them when you leave my world.” He glanced at me and smiled. “Who am I, you ask? You don’t even need to ask me. I will tell you all who I am. I am the Creator and I was made to give creativity to all. I watch over every creative process in the universe and I bring order to all things creative and imaginary. I see that you have another question. Go on and ask it!”
“So you were created by God?” I asked him.
“God gave man the ability to be creative,” he answered me. “My role is to be what you would call a mascot of creativity, if you will.”
My Muse gasped. “So you created…”
“Yes,” The Creator answered. “I created the Imaginary Realm and all things intangible. I created privileges and Muses to serve as creative stewards for every human on earth. Your Muse, Kyle, is no different. She was assigned to you when you were born.”
I smiled. “And I have done a very good job in taking care of her!”
“That you have,” he told me, smiling. “It’s very important to take care of your Muse. I have seen many in your world starve their Muses and thus starve all of their creativity inside of them. Muses are responsible for giving people creativity so it’s very important not to starve them. They all live in the heart of every person, but not everyone uses them wisely.”
“He’s right.” A familiar voice answered. I glanced up and it was just who I thought it was. Remedy! He was standing there with Nurture and several other Intangibles.
“Kyle,” Remedy said, smiling. “I mentioned earlier that there was a privilege more powerful than the One Privilege. What do you think it is?”
“He has it,” I told Remedy. “It was made for himself and no one else.”
“That is correct!” The Creator said, nodding. “I have never assigned the Creator’s privilege to anyone else. One such being has tried to take it from me.”
The Dark Muse, who has been quiet all this time, had a growing look of eagerness on her face. “Who tried to take it from you? Tee hee…”
“Dark one,” he told her. “I see the eagerness in your eyes. Also know that you are not as dark as you think.”
The Dark Muse looked at her hands and arms. “I’m not? Who tried to steal your beautiful privilege? Tee hee!”
“Everyone sit down,” The Creator ordered. And just like that, a large number of chairs immediately appeared and everyone sat down. When they did, all of their chairs immediately appeared next to the enormous throne.
I looked down and realized that even though everyone’s chair appeared to be suspended in the air with the throne, I could feel an invisible floor when I placed my foot down.
The Creator glanced at me and nodded. “The physics are not of earth, but do listen what I have to say. The Dark One asked me who tried to take my privilege. Miss. Over here. Come sit next to me.”
The Dark Muse gasped. “Me? Really? Tee hee!”
The Creator nodded and just like that, she was sitting to the right of him. Considering the size of the enormous throne, over 100 people could easily fit in the one seat alone. “Dark One,” he began. “Your past is a painful one, but you will soon enough learn what that past is.”
“A long time ago, when my being came into existence, I was entrusted to watch over all creativity. I was also assigned a guard who was responsible for one thing. He was supposed to guard everything within my creative realm. He was a wonderful guard, and he enjoyed guarding everything that was mine.”
“But one day, his heart was overcome with jealousy. He coveted everything that was mine and wanted it all for himself. With that, he tried to take my Creator’s Privilege from me, but I knew in my heart that it could never be assigned to anyone but me. I told him that truth, but he would not accept that. Seeing the corruption in his heart, I cast him from my presence. So from the day that I banished him, it has always been his goal to destroy creativity. This guard…he used to have a wonderful name. He was the Creator’s Rearguard. But now I call him The Adversary.”
I gasped. “Was this Adversary responsible for putting a spell on me?”
“He was,” The Creator answered. “And was responsible for a lot more than that, including this Dark One’s painful past. Now I have already told you that you are not as dark as you think. You have a wonderful name, but it was hidden from the world because of The Adversary. Now this may be painful for you, but this is for the sake of everyone here before you today…”
“Go on,” The Dark Muse said. “I’m ready. I don’t care who hears it. Tee hee…”
“Very good,” The Creator told her. “More than 30 years ago, your story was meant to go in a different direction. You were healthy child, inside a loving mother’s womb…”
“But I’m a bad idea!” The Dark Muse interrupted. “How was I ever that? Tee hee!”
“You were not always bad! Please, let me continue, Dark One. You were a healthy Intangible child in your mother’s womb, but you were not alone. You shared the womb with another child…Before you were even born, The Adversary snatched you out of your mother’s womb and began working his dark magic on you. He transformed you into a bad idea and that is what you grew up learning. Through all these years, you have been doing his bidding…”
“I don’t want to no more!” The Dark Muse shouted. “He lied to me! I can remember him being strict, but I now know that he was being mean the whole time! I hate him! Tee hee!”
“Relax,” The Creator told her. “It will be alright.”
The Dark Muse glanced at Muse, who was sitting a short distance away. “What about her? I know that when I was growing up, I always wanted a home. And whenever I went inside her, I always felt like I was at home! Tee hee…”
“This was your way of coping with your painful past,” The Creator answered. “But there is so much more to that. The Muse that you entered…The Muse that you always felt at home with whenever you possessed her…that Muse…was the same Muse that you laid with when you were still in your mother’s womb.”
Everyone gasped. Both Muse and Dark Muse gasped the most.
Tears began to fill Dark Muse’s eyes. “So, we’re sisters?”
Muse, beginning to tear up, nodded. “Yes! I guess we are! But not just sisters. TWIN sisters!”
Muse, without hesitating, ran up and hugged her twin sister. Both their eyes were filled with tears and they began weeping on each other.
“All this time!” Muse shouted. “I always felt strange…like there was something missing in my life…”
“It was me…sister!” Dark Muse shouted, full of tears. “I love to say sister! Tee hee! I always felt at home when I was inside you. But I didn’t know why! Now I know! Because we were supposed to be together! Twin hug! Tee hee!”
A couple of tears ran down my eyes as well. “They were both twins the whole time?!” I gasped. “Now there’s something that I have never heard before. I have heard of twins being separated at birth, but never separated before birth…”
“I’ve always felt strange during my birth with Muse…” Nurture said, wiping tears off her eyes. “Now I know why. I was missing the twin girl!”
“What’s her name?” Remedy asked, wiping the last of his tears off his eyes.
“Everyone.” The Creator addressed the room. “I am glad that all of you here are moved at the truth that I shared about this Dark One here. But she is not a Dark One at all. The darkness that was put inside her was from something unnatural. In her growing up as a bad idea and feeding off of darkness every day, it has made her pretty dark, but not beyond her being rescued from it. There is a light that has grown in her that has grown brighter and brighter with every day that she held on to it. A light that has been with her from the very beginning. While she was awaiting birth and was grievously abducted from her mother, she held on to that light. She felt that light whenever she was with her sister. But because of her growing up with darkness, she didn’t know how to express what was good. Only what was bad. Now, Dark One, I will reveal to you your true name and beauty that you should’ve had all along. You were with Muse before birth. Your name is Twin Muse. Shed your dark cocoon to reveal the true light that is inside!”
Right after The Creator said that, the Dark Muse flashed and transformed. She grew to the same height and age as Muse. She was very beautiful, and looked more beautiful than my Muse.
“Yay!” Twin Muse shouted. “I’m finally me! And best of all, I no longer have that stupid tic!”
“What?” Muse asked. “Tee hee?”
“Yeah!” she nodded. “I’m so glad that I’m not dark anymore!”
The Creator frowned. “That is your true form, but sadly, you will not stay that way. The adversary has put a very dark spell on you and it is not easy to remove. There is a way to remove it, but that will be saved for another time. Another story arc. The least I can do is allow you to retain this form for the remainder of this special millennial post.”
Twin Muse stroked her soft and silky hair and sighed. “Just this post only? Well, I hope that we can find the cure to make this form permanent!”
The Creator nodded. “Twin Muse, I know how you long to be completely liberated from that dark form, but now is not the time for your restoration. A time will come in the future where you will experience it. Take heart and do not worry…”
Twin Muse nodded. “I look forward to that time!”
My Muse’s heart flashed brightly and I gasped. “We really need to be going…” she told me and everyone else. “Thank you for this wonderful discovery. Let’s go Kyle, and twin sister!”
“Eeeee!” Twin Muse joyfully screamed. “I love it when you call me that! LOVE IT!”
“So you are off, then?” The Creator asked us. “Then I can expedite your travel to the next area. Get inside the monorails and hang on. You’re in for a fast and fun ride!”
The Creator waved his hands and a golden monorail materialized in the middle of the tube of light. It appeared a short distance away from all the chairs and the giant throne. My Muse and Twin Muse got in, holding hands and I followed them inside. Right after we got inside, some seatbelts materialized and automatically fastened for all of us. And without warning, the golden monorail was off, zooming through the network of light faster than a speeding bullet.
The adventurers were off, all securely fastened in the golden monorail which traveled through the light rather gracefully. It traveled like a golden bullet, cutting through the air with such incredible ease. A bright light glistened from the realm that they previously visited and flowed directly into the golden bullet. The Creator, being loyal to his promise, had just returned the One Privilege to Kyle, just as he said he would. Kyle, Muse, and Twin Muse were filled with excitement and wonder, as they didn’t know when they would reach their next destination. The Creator’s Realm was barely noticeable as a new world began to come into view. The golden bullet monorail faithfully kept its course as it began to enter the new world…
I glanced at both Muses, who were both filled with excitement, and then I noticed a sudden jerk. The golden monorail was reducing in speed. The monorail continued its course through its light-filled path, through the countryside and past a meadow. All of this scenery was a blur, as the monorail was still traveling very fast. A plethora of skyscrapers started to fill the city in the distance. A golden hue flashed across the sky, as the sun was setting. The houses that we passed became more and more clustered and turned into apartments, and then high-rises.
“My city!” Muse gasped. “See what I made, my sis?”
Twin Muse nodded. “I see it, twinnie!”
I took in the scenery and gasped. “Wow…This city is even bigger than the last millennial post.”
“It is, Kyle,” she told me. “The city just keeps going and going. It stops at some point, but I just wanted to make a very big one this time…”
“What a city…” I said, still taking it in. “I think that I’ll call it Muse City.”
“That’s what it’s called!” My Muse said, smiling. “Do you like it?”
“I do!” I shouted.
The golden monorail continued to slow down, as we got deeper into the city. Skyscrapers were everywhere, and they were towering over us. Traffic was busy on the streets below, with pedestrians walking the sidewalks everywhere. A good number of them were riding through the streets on bicycles, following the bike-marked paths.
“All Muses?” I asked her.
“Of course, Kyle!” she said, almost laughing. “There are all Muses living here! It’s not Human City, it’s Muse City!”
The monorail began to slow down even more, as it was pulling into a monorail station. It entered in the middle of one of the tall buildings. The golden monorail stopped and we all exited it.
My Muse took my hand and my Twin Muse’s hand and eagerly ran with us toward a set of elevators.
“Let’s go to the top!” she begged us. This is a wonderful city, and I want you to see everything that I made.”
We nodded and followed her to the elevators. We joined another group of Muses, that were also waiting for an elevator.
“Going to the restaurant?” a woman Muse asked us. “It’s on the top floor and I’m having a romantic dinner with my husband.”
The man Muse nodded. “The kids are at home with a babysitter, so we get the night out.”
My Muse nodded. “We are!”
The elevator door opened and we all entered. The Muse couple and a few other Muses entered with us.
My Muse pressed 1000 as that was the top floor for this building. A few other Muses pressed buttons to a couple of lower floors, so it will be a while before we get there.
A couple minutes later, after everyone else got off the elevator, it was just Me, my Muse, Twin Muse, and the Muse couple. The elevator stopped on the top floor and we all got out.
The perimeter of the top floor was lined with glass, with various areas designated for restaurants, shopping, and gift shops. My Muse took me and Twin Muse to the observatory, and the couple followed us.
“I want a nice picture of the two of us before we eat!” the woman Muse told the man Muse. “Right at the observatory!”
The man Muse nodded and guided her over there.
I looked out the observatory and gasped. Panning my vision in a counterclockwise direction, I saw vast expanse of the city to the west, south, and east. A busy interstate, surrounded the city, and was full of traffic. Various Muses were in the sky. Some of them were on flying platforms. Others flew with jetpacks with angel wings or fairy wings as part of their stylish design.
“A bunch of inventions!” I shouted.
“An Airplane!” Twin Muse shouted, as she saw an airplane take off from an airport far off in the distance.
“Got it!” The man Muse shouted. “Let’s go eat!”
My Muse nodded and looked at me and her sister. “Let’s eat too!” she told us.
“Okay!” Twin Muse shouted. “I’m hungry!”
We all walked toward the restaurant with the Muse couple and passed a few tanks full of fish as we approached the entrance.
“A fish!” I shouted.
The hostess let the Muse couple in first.
Before my Muse could go any further, she was stopped by the hostess Muse.
“How many?” she asked us.
“Three.” My Muse answered.
“Do you have preferred seating?” she asked my Muse.
“A table by the window.” She instructed her.
“Very well. Your server will guide you to your table. Follow him.”
The hostess Muse marked our table down on her list and we followed our server Muse to our table. As we passed a few tables, I noticed some tiny people trying to carry a sugar packet.
“Is that…a Borrower?” My Muse said, noticing the little Muses trying to carry the sugar.
The server Muse sat us down and gave us our menus. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with your order,” he told us.
Before looking at the menu, I took in the scenery. As I looked northwest, I saw grassy fields and could barely make out the outline of a castle. “Is that…a castle?”
My Muse looked out and focused her vision in the same direction I was. “Yes…I see it too. A powerful Muse is queen over her kingdom there. The princess is one of my forms and she lives there…”
“Did you say princess?” Twin Muse chimed in. “I wanna be a princess!” Twin Muse transformed the dress that she was wearing into a princess dress and made a tiara appear on her head.
“There sis.” She said, smiling. “I’m a princess!”
I looked out to the northeast and I saw a tall structure far in the distance. Even from this distance, I could see that the architecture looked Asian.
“You see it too, Kyle?” she asked me. “That’s a bathhouse!”
I then looked directly north. From our height, I could see where the city ended and a field began. A field that flowed into a valley. The valley then led up into a mountain range, with an enormous tower at the very top.
I gasped. “Is that…the Tower of Muses?”
My Muse nodded. “It is! And that’s where we’re going after we eat. It’s going to be a long journey before we get there, though…”
The server Muse came back and glanced at all of us. “So what will you all be having today?”
“I will have the lobster bisque with your world-famous spicy mac and cheese.” My Muse answered.
“And to drink?” he asked her.
“I will have the double-barrel espresso.” She told him.
“Good choice!” he said, writing the order down. He turned to me. “And what will you have?”
“Keeping it simple, I want the same thing.” I told him.
“Very good,” he told me. He turned to Twin Muse. “And what about you?”
“I will have your Royal Salmon Steaks with your golden garlic butter mashed potatoes.” She told him.
“And to drink?”
“Make it the double-barrel espresso, but with two extra shots! I LOVE caffeine!”
“Okay then!” The server took all of our menus and closed his order slip. “We’ll have it out as soon as possible!”
I frowned at both Muses. “Why did you both get coffee? Coffee is NOT for Muses!”
They both playfully jabbed me in the side.
“Why did you say that?” My Muse challenged me. “Are you basing that off of what one of your older blogs say about Muses drinking coffee?”
“Interestingly, I can remember that…” Twin Muse told us.
About 20 minutes later, the server Muse came out with our food. We all ate it and we drank our double-barrel espressos.
A couple minutes later, Twin Muse had an uncomfortable look on her face. “Oh…” she gasped. “Oh no!” Her chair began dripping, with everything dripping down her legs. Her face turned red. “I’ll be in the bathroom. I’ll be right back!”
Twin Muse scurried off to the bathroom, leaving a dripping trail as she ran.
I nodded, holding back a smile. “Dark or light, her personality is still there…”
My Muse nodded, quietly sighing. “It’s okay. Knowing that she’s my sister now, it makes so much sense. I think that it would be best that we do not say anything about her embarrassing accident. Let’s be easy on her, okay?”
I nodded. “I won’t say anything if you won’t say anything.”
Twin Muse hurried back to the table and sat down. She was wiping tears off her eyes, quietly weeping.
My Muse wrapped her arm around her shoulder. “Don’t worry about what happened,” she quietly told her. “You are my sister, and we all do embarrassing things…”
“But I peed myself!” she shouted. “And everybody saw me when I hurried to the bathroom!”
My Muse then began whispering into Twin Muse’s ear.
“You did?” she said, gasping. “Really? Wow. Now I don’t feel so bad about it…”
The bill came for the meal and my Muse left the full amount, plus a tip for the server Muse.
“So we’re going to the Tower of Muses next?” I asked my Muse.
My Muse nodded. “We are, but we’re taking the scenic way!”
“Scenic?” Twin Muse gasped. “I LOVE scenic!”
My Muse flashed and jet packs appeared on all of us. For mine, it had dragonfly wings on either side. For my Muse’s, hers had angel wings on either side. For Twin Muse, hers had fairy wings on either side.
“Let’s go!” My Muse shouted. She made all of us transparent and we flew right through the ceiling, out of the towering skyscraper.
In exiting the top floor, we were already at around 10,100 feet. Skyscrapers were everywhere around us. We then began to soar higher and higher…
Both Kyle and the Muse Sisters ascended higher and higher, soaring to new heights. Having such wonderful meals, they were all ready for the next leg of their adventure. Kyle then was stricken with anxiety when he thought of the fast burning fuel and the limitations the jet pack had with its diminishing fuel capacity. Kyle’s anxiety vanished when he saw an infinity symbol when he checked the remaining fuel. Due to Muse’s Intangible properties, creating jet packs with unlimited fuel posed no challenge to her at all. They all freely flew away from the busy expanse of skyscrapers, heading northward to a quiet valley, passing over a field that was just as quiet. But a rather disturbing sound broke through the quietness of the slightly chilly night. Could it be? Oh no! It was a silhouetted figure with a darkening aura. This can not be good. The three touched down deep in the valley leading to the mountain range, while the mysterious figure ran away, out of their sight…
I looked at my Muse, and then glanced at Twin Muse. “It looks like a long way up. Is everyone ready?”
“More like are you two ready?” Twin Muse said, looking up at the mountain. “There is something important that I just remembered! Something that I really need to do! You two, good luck with the climb!”
And before I could even respond, Twin Muse vanished in a bright beam of light.
Having just seen her disappear, I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess that it’s just the two of us, huh?”
My Muse, completely dumbfounded, nodded. “I guess so. It looks like a very tall mountain. Let’s get going.”
And with that, we continued onward. The valley continued forward as we both walked it. It then reached a dead end. A cliff went straight up. Wedged in the corner of the cliff was a tower.
When I saw the tower, I gasped. “A Tower of Muses?” I said, confused. “But I thought the tower was at the top?”
My Muse shook her head. “It’s not the tower you think it is. Let’s go inside it!”
And we did. Just as we approached the tower, I saw that same dark silhouette that I saw when I was in the air.
“Tee hee…” The mysterious figure said as she entered the tower.
“It’s her…” I told my Muse. “It’s the Dark Muse. Clearly one of the older ones, since Twin Muse has already went somewhere else…”
The tower looked like an office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the structure. The glass had a pink tint to it.
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
“Hey!” My Muse shouted. “I heard that!” And with that, we both entered the tower.
It was the same tower of Muses that I remembered from when I entered the tower for the first time.
I was immediately surrounded by pink. Pink and white checkered tiles made of marble. Pink and white sashes hanging in wide arcs throughout the ceiling. The colors of the walls alternated between pink and white. A white service desk sat in the middle of the lobby.
And, of course, a receptionist sat there, hard at work, making rapid strokes on the keyboard. When the receptionist caught a glance of me, I saw her face. Sure enough, it was my Muse, only she was an adult.
“Hello again!” The Muse receptionist shouted.
I glanced at my Muse and then back at the receptionist. “We are making our journey up to the Tower of Muses. Will this tower take us there?”
The Muse receptionist nodded. “It certainly will! But even if you get to the top of this tower, you will still have a long way to go. Speaking of that tower, I have to get going. I have a receptionist meeting with the head receptionist. See you later!”
The Muse receptionist vanished and she was gone. She was replaced by a Muse assistant that occupied her seat.
My Muse pointed over to the elevators. “Let’s go up! We have a long way to go!”
I nodded and we walked toward the elevators. Just as we approached them, I saw an elevator door close.
“She’s on her way up!” I shouted.
“Then we need to hurry!” My Muse told me.
We pressed the up button and got in the next elevator door that opened. I pressed the 100 button.
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 100th floor.
The floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other. Pretty much the same room as Tower of Ideas, only the bed was pink.
And on the bed laid…my Muse?
“What’s going on?” I asked my Muse. “You’re with me and she’s right there?”
My Muse nodded. “It’s like going through history. This is the same 100 story tower from the beginning.”
I nodded. “Okay.” When I saw the other Muse laying on the bed, it made a lot more sense. She was five years old and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. I am not going to bother reading this note since this was long from the past.
I followed my Muse around the back end of the room. It led to a door, which led to a short hallway which led to another door, with an exit sign posted above it.
“Exit?” I gasped.
But when I glanced outside the window, I noticed that we were at the bottom of a plateau. This tower only took us to the top of the cliff.
We both exited the tower and I glanced up. Another tall cliff was in the distance, with another tower wedged in the corner.
I sighed. “Are we going to have to ascend 19 cliffs to get to the Tower of Muses?”
My Muse nodded, with a widening smile.
I sighed again. This is going to take a looooooooooooong time.
We approached the second tower and I saw the same dark figure as the previous tower entering it.
We hurried inside and saw a different lobby. Approaching a brown colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing….
“Hello again, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “The New Muse” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago….”
I shrugged my shoulders and sighed. “That is nice and all, but I need to be ascending to the top…”
The Muse receptionist nodded and then looked at her watch. She gasped. “And I need to be going to the meeting at the Tower of Muses! See you there!”
The Muse receptionist vanished like the first one and was also replaced by a Muse assistant.
We ran over to the elevator. Once again, one of the doors just closed. We entered the elevator next to us and took it to the 100th floor.
Me and my Muse both saw another Muse laying on a light blue bed, with a note attached to her. We hurried out of the tower, following the similar exits from the previous tower.
And just like that, the grand chase began. Both Kyle and his Muse hurried through the towers, trying to catch the Dark Muse. They traversed the higher plateaus, ascending the cliff through the third tower, the fourth tower, the fifth tower, all the way up to the tenth tower. Even being this far, they both still had a very long way to go…
We passed through the party room and saw that it was empty. After that, we entered the next room. This room was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a grand bed sat in the other. It was the size of four king-sized beds merged together. It was well decorated with pure white and solid gold, with the bed being the same color.
And on this bed laid the Muse from the 1000th entry. When I saw her, a sudden realization came across me. These Muses are not at the Tower of Muses!
“Why aren’t these Muses at the Tower of Muses?” I asked her.
“Kyle, all of these towers are copies.” She told me. All of the original Muses are all resting up on their floors in the main tower. Don’t worry about them, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay!”
We both exited the tenth tower, followed the plateau around, and ascended the eleventh tower. We then went through that plateau and took the twelfth tower to the top.
When we passed that room, I saw a three-year old Muse sleeping in a king-sized bed with fencing around it.
“Aw,” My Muse said, looking at her. “I looked so cute when I was sleeping at that age…”
“I was very nervous at that time,” I told her. “I didn’t want you to be a baby forever…”
“Fortunately, that didn’t happen, Kyle. I learned all my developmental milestones during that arc and thrived. Let’s go to the next one!”
I nodded, and we left the room and went towards the back.
Our ascents continued, through the 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th, 17th, and 18th towers. And the Muses that slept there were the Time Lady Muse, Princess Muse, Jedi Muse, Giant Muse (Her room was bigger than the universe), Child Muse, and Iron Muse.
We left the 18th tower and noticed the dark shadow running in the distance. From our brisk pace, we were catching up to her. I quickly looked up and saw that only more plateau remained. The top plateau with the Tower of Muses at the top.
As we approached the area where the cliff side was for the 19th tower, I noticed that the area flowed into a water-filled cave. We entered the cave and the tower was inside. My Muse gave us mermaid tails and we swam toward the next tower.
The dark shadow was just about to enter the door when we approached her.
“Reveal yourself.” I told the dark shadow. “I know that you are the Dark Muse.”
“That’s me!” The Dark Muse shouted. “I don’t have time to talk to you. Tee hee!”
And with that, she swam right inside the tower. We both swam in right behind her.
Instead of talking to the receptionist, we hurried to the elevators. She pressed the up button and we entered with her.
I pressed the 100 button and gave her an accusatory stare. “So, what are you doing?”
“What I always do! Tee hee!” she answered. “Finding my home! Speaking of homes, tee hee…”
“Don’t you even THINK about it!” I shouted at her.
She lunged forward toward my Muse and I blocked her. She swam out of the way and quickly swam into my Muse.
My Muse then flashed dark and shrank down to her size. “I like this! Tee hee!”
“No!” I told her. “You’re getting out of there now!”
“Kyle! Stop! I really like this! Tee hee!”
I ignored my Muse, who was possessed by her. I used my One Privilege to remove Dark Muse from her.
“Fine!” The Dark Muse shouted. “Be that way! I’m going to the tower! Bye bye! Tee hee!”
The elevator reached the top floor and she swam out quickly toward the exit.
Me and my Muse swam through the final room. A Mermaid Muse was laying in her bed, sleeping. We swam around to the back and exited the room. We closed the door after we entered the short hallway.
In this room, all the water drained and my Muse transformed both her and me back.
We exited the 19th tower and I took the top plateau all in. Instead of snow, I saw a sizable field with a tiny forest to the west and a prairie to the east.
Far in the distance was flowery field, with rows of flowers that lit up on either side, forming a straight path to the Tower of Muses far ahead. As we walked forward, I noticed that the ground beneath us transformed into glowing bricks.
The bricks all vibrated, forming a beautiful melody that filled the nighttime sky. It was a wonderful symphony. A symphony of a multitude of beautiful voices all converging together as one.
As we approached the tower, it got bigger and bigger. The flowers glowed. The fireflies all twinkled in the sky.
Then I saw it. Like the tower back in entry 1000, this one was pure white. But it was even whiter than before. I didn’t think that it was possible, but this tower was even whiter. Whiter than any white that you have ever seen. A powerful glow emanated all around the tower. Gold spirals run all the way up it to the very top. Diamonds twinkled and glowed as we approached it.
A grand turnstile served as the entrance and the Dark Muse went right through it.
My Muse shook her head. “I don’t like what she’s doing…”
I nodded. “Neither do I.”
And for a moment, Kyle just stood there, overcome with disbelief. Having gone so far with his Muse, he was finally here. At the Tower of Muses that stood at the end of every post. His journey has brought the two of them through a rather far distance. From her heart into vibrant world, flowing into a central network of worlds. Through the Creator’s Realm and through Muse City. And finally, through the valley and up the numerous plateaus. It was a long journey indeed, and Kyle could not help but feel excited. Both ecstasy and excitement began to fill him like a plague. He really could not contain the level of excitement that he had. There was so much excitement in him that a whole legion of soldiers would shout with glee at a mere glance of him. To defuse his excitement, his Muse quickly took him through the grand turnstile and they both entered…
“That Dark Muse is up to no good!” she told me. “We really need to get this moving on…”
I nodded and looked ahead. After leaving the turnstile with my Muse, I noticed the grand lobby and took it all in. It was even bigger than before. It continued the pure white theme from outside. There was pure white with pure gold outlining all the walls and the furniture.
There were two sitting areas adjacent to each other, each with white loveseats and a few white lounge chairs. Each chair was outlined in pure gold and studded with diamonds with a few chestnut oak coffee tables scattered around.
Looking just ahead of the sitting areas sat the grand reception desk. Unlike the one from entry 1000, this one was much bigger. One large reception desk sat in the center with a ring of 19 reception desks encircling it. Each desk was pure white, with solid gold bows lining the sides. And pretty much like all the previous editions, each desk was occupied by a busy Muse, hard at work, each making rapid strokes on the keyboard.
Since curiosity got the best of me, I called the attention of the receptionists. “Might I ask who’s in charge?”
The Muse receptionist in the center desk stopped typing and looked up at me. “That would be me. Tee hee!”
I looked at the much larger circle of desks that surrounded hers. “Could you then explain the others? Do they all work for you?”
“Yes!” she answered. “They all work for me. Do you want me to introduce you to them?”
My Muse nodded. “Yes. We would want to know who they are, please.”
“Please do,” I told her. “There are so many new faces this time…”
The Muse receptionist in the center desk got the attention of the other nine Muses. “Workers!” she shouted. “Say your name and title for Kyle please! Tee hee!”
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses!” the first one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Second Ascent!” the second one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Third Ascent!” the third one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fourth Ascent!” the fourth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fifth Ascent!” the fifth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Sixth Ascent!” the sixth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Seventh Ascent!” the seventh one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Eighth Ascent!” the eighth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Ninth Ascent!” the ninth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Tenth Ascent!” the tenth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Eleventh Ascent!” the eleventh one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Twelfth Ascent!” the twelfth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Thirteenth Ascent!” the thirteenth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fourteenth Ascent!” the fourteenth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fifteenth Ascent!” the fifteenth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Sixteenth Ascent!” the sixteenth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Seventeenth Ascent!” the seventeenth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Eighteenth Ascent!” the eighteenth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Nineteenth Ascent!” the last one shouted.
“Wait a second!” I shouted. “The eleventh one doesn’t look like a Muse…”
“You are right…” The eleventh receptionist said with a sigh. “I look more like you, right? I think that we have discussed this before. I could get the actual receptionist for you, but she’s taking her nap and she’s still in diapers…”
My Muse laughed. “I don’t think we want to do that. We’re fine with you filling in…” She then turned to me. “All of them are receptionists from all the past towers that I made.”
“That is correct!” The Muse in the center desk shouted. “All of them are here for the big celebration. I asked them to leave their towers and come work for me! Tee hee!”
“And they’ll be back in their own towers by the twenty-first ascent?” I asked her.
“That’s correct!” she answered. “It will be just her! Tee hee!”
Nodding, I glanced at the Twentieth Ascent receptionist. “I know that this tower has more bells and whistles, but is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her.
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1901st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the déjà vu from all the previous nineteen editions of this tower that I have experienced in the past. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
Being very eager to approach the teleporter, my Muse stopped me immediately. She thrust her hands against my side. “Stop Kyle!” She shouted. “Don’t!”
“Oh, come on?” I sighed. “You don’t want to take the shortcut this time?”
“And miss out on all the epic adventures on this millennial milestone post?” she smiled. “No. We are taking the long scenic route!”
“Scenic? Tee hee?” the center Muse receptionist said, grinning. “Again? Normally, the elevators here take you up 100 floors. Then you have to go to the next elevators to go up 100 more floors…”
“But you do have something more simple, right?” I said with a smile.
“Tee hee!” she said, smiling. “That’s right! Normally you would have to keep going up 100 floors. But there’s some special elevators in the back that will take you up all the way to the 1901st floor! Just enter the floor on the touch screen and it will take you there! There’s even voice command! It’s the latest! Tee hee!”
“We’ll use those elevators, then.” I told her. “Thanks!”
The center Muse receptionist nodded. “Anytime! Tee hee! Have fun!”
I followed my Muse to the special elevators in the back. They had glass doors like its millennial ancestor and you could see through them.
“Kyle, we’ve gone through this before, haven’t we?” My Muse said with a sigh. She playfully nudged me. “You knew about the special elevators already! I designed this, so let’s stop stalling and let’s get going! Kyle, quick!”
I glanced at her and I saw the urgency on her face as I approached the elevator panel. She wanted to kiss me. I could just tell. But she didn’t want to blurt it to her day one counterparts.
I quickly pressed the up button and one of the eight elevators instantly opened.
“Floor 10,” she stated.
The elevator doors closed and she began to kiss me on the lips incessantly.
“Hey hey!” I shouted. “Do you have any idea how many people are watching?”
“I don’t care,” she said, between kisses. “Hey everyone! I’m kissing Kyle! Kissy kissy kiss kiss kiss!!! Come on, Kyle, if anyone deserves it, it’s you. Who else has actually kissed you besides your mother? Don’t you want to be kissed by a woman?”
I nodded. “Well yeah…” I told her. “A real woman.”
She tightly embraced me and smiled. “Well, you’re real to me, and that’s what counts. In this world that I made, you are real. I made this tower and you made me. Don’t you want to be with me? What about anyone you plan on meeting in the future? You will need some dating practice. What kind of real woman would want to be with you if you’re not equipped? Practice your affections on me.”
I nodded with a quiet sigh. “Fine. Kissing only, okay. The clothes remain on!”
My Muse shook her head and gasped. “Why no! Why would I embarrass you like that? I am very modest, so I wouldn’t put you through that.”
The elevator dinged and it opened again.
“More coffee?” I sighed. “So the double barrel espresso wasn’t enough for you?”
My Muse shook her head. “You know how much I LOVE coffee, Kyle. Just let me get some coffee, and we can continue, okay?”
“Very well, but don’t go crazy like last time.”
She nodded. “I won’t! Okay?”
I gave her a skeptic look. “Okay…”
We approached the counter of a Starbucks café. The barista there looked bored, like she hasn’t had a customer in hours.
“What’s your order, ma’am?”
My Muse smiled. “Three venti vanilla cappuccinos.”
“One!” I shouted. “You are not going to get all hyper and pee your pants like last time.”
My Muse shook her head. “I’m a big girl and I know how to make it to the bathroom. I mean, come on, Kyle!” She ordered her three venti cappuccinos and she drank all of them in front of me.
I motioned her to leave, but she shook her head.
“Seven more…” she said, with a crazed look on her face.
“No more,” I told her.
But she didn’t listen. She ordered the seven and drank them all in front of me.
After she drank the four additional ones after that, she reached her hand out to order again.
“You are NOT going to order again!” I shouted.
“Oh yes I will!” she shouted, her face twitching. “Don’t you see it? It’s amazing! Coffee is amazing! You are amazing! I am amazing! Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee! I love cof…”
My Muse collapsed on the floor and I gasped. As much caffeine that was inside her, there was no accident. She has got to have an accident very soon…But she didn’t. She never did. Everyone. I am going to inspect her quickly. I’ll be right back…
*a couple minutes later*
Well, that’s weird. Considering what she was wearing, it was like she was planning for this event. Well, she’s still unconscious, so I will get her to the elevator before she wakes up…
I carried my Muse in my arms and took her back to the elevator. I pressed the up button and entered the elevator with her. I then sat my Muse on the floor.
“Floor 1001,” I said.
The elevator door closed and she woke up.
“It happened again!” My Muse said, gasping. “Kyle, I’m sorry again about the whole coffee thing. When I’m on that floor, I just can’t help myself. On that floor, it turns me into a total coffee addict.”
“Well, maybe we shouldn’t visit it anymore,” I told her. “You didn’t act like that at all with your double-barrel espresso.”
She nodded. “It’s that floor. I don’t know what it is. It’s kind of weird…” She glanced at the elevator panel. “Where are we going? Floor 1001? So, you want to see my Day One self again, huh?”
“Why not?” I said with a smile. “It was a wonderful start to the reboot, right?”
My Muse nodded. “Right!”
Minutes later, the elevator stopped on the 1001st floor and the door opened.
“Hi!” The Day One Muse shouted. “Are you in an elevator? I wanna go too!” She entered the elevator and glanced at my Muse. “Who’s that, Kyle? Tell me!”
“I’m his Muse!” My Muse answered.
She glanced at her and then back at me. “So you’re leaving me to be with HER?”
I shook my head. “No. I was with you almost 1000 days ago!”
Day One Muse nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I see how it is. Go on and cheat Kyle, ‘cause cheating is good….”
“I didn’t say that I…”
“CHEATER!”
“Can you let me…”
“CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER!” She gave me a raspberry.
I sighed. “Are you done? I’m kind of glad that you’re not that annoying in the future…”
Day One Muse gasped. “Well, I’m gonna pretend that I didn’t even hear that. So…Whatcha doing?”
“We’re taking this elevator up and…”
“Oh!” she shouted. “Can I try? Just one. Please?”
“Just say a floor and it will take you there.”
She smiled. “Is that it? Okay! Floor 1005!”
The elevator door closed. A few seconds later, the elevator stopped on the 1005th floor and the door opened.
On this floor, I was overcome by the smell of psychedelic drugs. Music from the 1960’s was softly playing in the background, with a Muse that looked like a beatnik.
“Far out!” Hippie Muse shouted. “Another sister? Hey sis. Come over here. You’re late.”
Day One Muse gasped. “Who? Me?”
The Hippie Muse nodded. “That’s right. Me and the other sisters are jamming out. We’re freeing our mind and having a wonderful experience. Come and join me. It will be totally far out…”
“Far out?” Day One Muse gasped. “Sounds like fun! Bye Kyle!”
“Bye!” I shouted. “Floor 1006.”
The elevator door closed. It went up one floor to the 1006th floor. The door opened again.
“That was easy.” I told my Muse.”
“I’ll say.” She told me. “That hippie took her off our hands…”
When my Muse saw me exiting the elevator, she sighed. “A diner? We just ate!”
I nodded. “I know. I’m just getting a snack.”
My Muse accompanied me to the diner and we were seated by the waitress Muse. She took my order, which was an order of bacon and eggs. A little while later, I got my order and ate it. I left a generous tip on the table and we both walked back to the elevator.
After we both entered it, my Muse smiled.
“My turn,” she told me. “Floor 1030.”
The elevator door closed and began moving upward. Moments later, the elevator dinged, stopping on the 1030th floor.
This was the “Closing the Sale” floor. Why was she stopping here?
A ten-year old Muse walked onto the elevator. She then glanced at my Muse and gasped. “Mom?”
My Muse shook her head. “No. I am not your mom.”
The Tween Muse gave her a curious look. “That’s weird. You look a lot like her!” She looked around at the elevator. Can I come with you? I’m bored on that floor!”
We both nodded. “Sure!” I told her.
“Yay!” she shouted. “Let’s go to floor 1065!”
The elevator heard what she said and started moving upward.
While it was moving upward, something stopped it from moving. The elevator stopped on the 1056th floor and the door opened.
I gasped when I saw who was right outside the door. It was a Zombie Muse!
“BRAAAAAAINS!!!!” The Zombie Muse shouted.
My Muse gasped. “This game? Here. Peashooters for everyone!” My Muse made peashooters appear in my hand, her hands, and Tween Muse’s hands.
Between the three of us, we all pelted the Zombie Muse with peas, which was enough to knock its head off.
The elevator door closed and continued moving upward. Moments later, it dinged stopping on the 1065th floor.
When we all got out, we saw a room made of solid gold. Then I saw where it was coming from.
“You have got to help me!” Golden Muse shouted, wiping tears off of her eyes, which transformed into little gold pieces. “Everything that I touch turns to gold!”
“Everyone, away from her!” I shouted. “Back in the elevator!”
The Golden Muse continued crying her golden tears. “No! You have to help me!” She touched the elevator up/down panel. It turned to solid gold.
We all got in. “Sorry,” I told her. “I wish that I could help you. Floor 1084!”
The door started to turn solid gold as it closed. The elevator continued upward, but stopped again on the 1072nd floor.
The elevator door opened to a Stupid Muse standing there.
“Duhhhh…..” The Stupid Muse said.
The elevator door began to close.
“Bye bye George!” she shouted.
“That was random.” I told my Muse.
“I know.” She told me. “It was like she didn’t have a brain in her head…”
“Where are we going next?” Tween Muse asked us.
“We’re going to Floor 1084, Baby Steps.” I told her. “I think that you will like this floor.”
Moments passed. The elevator then dinged again and stopped on the 1084th floor. The elevator door opened and we all exited it.
Standing right next to us was a Baby Muse. She was standing there in just a shirt and a diaper.
“Pee pee!” she shouted.
“Aw!” Tween Muse shouted. “Did you just go? Here. Let me help you…” She then turned to all of us. “Everyone. She doesn’t need an audience. I’m going to go and help her on this floor, okay?”
“Works for us!” I told her. I then turned back to my Muse. “Let’s go, Muse!”
She nodded, and we both got back inside the elevator.
“Floor 1217!” I shouted.
The elevator continued upward. As it got to 1100, the elevator came to a sudden stop.
My Muse then began gasping for air. “Kyle…” she gasped. “I…don’t…feel…too…good…Kyle…I’m dying…” Her breathing became more and more labored.
“Not again!” I shouted.
The elevator door opened and the Dark Muse entered.
“Tee hee!” The Dark Muse shouted. “So she’s dying, huh? Are we going up? Floor 1217? We’re stopping on Floor 1112 first!”
The elevator continued upward and my Muse could breathe again. It must’ve been the floor we were on…
Moments later, the elevator dinged and stopped on the 1112th floor. The elevator door opened and my Muse hurried out of it.
“No!” I shouted. “Don’t enter her!”
My Muse, having just regained her breath, ran with me. We kept running but we couldn’t keep up with her. She entered Muse’s room and found Muse, peacefully sleeping in her crib.
“Aw…” Dark Muse gleefully grinned. “It’s a cute little home! She’s so cute, sleeping…She may be small, but I can still fit! Tee hee!”
Dark Muse entered Muse, who began to gleefully snore in her crib…
“It’s too late…” I whispered.
“Tee hee…” The Dark Baby Muse snored. “Pee pee…”
We all went back to the elevator and entered it. The elevator door closed and continued upward.
But for some reason, it stopped between the 1162nd floor and the 1163rd floor.
We both heard the sound of a struggle.
“I grow…BIGGER!” The Dark Baby Muse shouted.
And with that, the universe exploded and the elevator stopped on floor 1163. The Baby Universe floor.
Tee hee hee hee hee hee…
Upon hearing that sound, it sent chills down my spine. She did it again. The Dark Muse remade the universe in her image. “She…” I gasped.
“Don’t worry, Kyle.” My Muse told me. “These floors are only memories of what happened. “Let’s keep going, okay?”
I nodded and I stared at the button panel. The elevator door closed and it continued upward. Moments later, it stopped at the 1217th floor with a ding. The door opened.
“Oh hello there,” a rather dark Muse said. It looked like the Time Lady Muse, only the darker version.
“Another Dark Muse?” I said, sighing. “What are you up to?”
“Besides everything going to plan, all I can do is enjoy the show.” She said with a sinister smile. “The tyke below is at my command and I’m on my way up to spread my influence elsewhere. What is even more amusing is that you are talking to a hologram. End of message!”
The Dark Muse hologram vanished.
“She’s already on her way up?” I gasped.
My Muse nodded. “She already went up to inhabit baby Muse. We need to stop her before she inhabits the others…”
“Floor 1241!” I shouted.
The elevator door closed and continued upward. The elevator, however stopped on the 1229th floor. The door opened and a couple of people ran inside it. One was a man and one was a woman.
“Hurry!” The man told us. “We need to get off this floor!”
“Why?” I asked them.
“Haven’t you heard?” The woman said, looking at me. “There’s an epidemic going on where various random people are being turned into babies! We need to get off before… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!”
Both the woman and the man immediately turned into babies.
“Hurry!” I shouted. “Close the eleva… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!”
I turned into a baby, leaving only my Muse standing there in horror.
“Floor 1241!” she screamed.
The elevator door closed and continued upward. While it traveled upward, my Muse restored us all to our original ages.
“Thank you very much!” the woman shouted.
“We can’t thank you enough!” The man told us.
“Anytime.” My Muse told them. “We’re going someplace safe…”
They both nodded and glanced at the elevator panel, as it was continuing to ascend. 1238…1239…1240…1241. The elevator stopped with a ding and the door opened.
Both the man and the woman got out of the elevator and bid us farewell.
“Why did we stop here?” I asked my Muse.
“You tell me!” My Muse said. “You chose the number!”
“Oh yeah…” I said, nodding. “I think I remember now. This is the ‘Smart Phone & New Computer’ floor. It was when I got my first ever smart phone and my new computer.”
“One that you still use to this day!” My Muse said with a smile. “Where to next?”
“Floor 1337!” I shouted. “That floor is so 1337!”
“As long as we stop at floor 1334 first,” My Muse suggested.
I nodded. “It heard you so it will stop there first.”
The elevator continued upward, passing past the 1300th floor. As it passed floor 1315, a strange aura filled the room, and then the floor mysteriously stopped on the 1321st floor.
My Muse flashed and she shrank down to the size of a child.
“Oh no…” I gasped. “It’s the ‘A Little Problem…’ floor. I believe that the magic spell stopped the elevator from moving. It should close soon…”
My Muse glanced at herself in her princess dress and gasped. “It IS a spell. I can’t change back!”
“Maybe it will wear off when we get to 1400?” I said, shrugging my shoulders.
“I hope!” My Muse said, looking at her small body. “I don’t want to stay small…”
The elevator door closed and it continued upward. Seconds later, it stopped on the 1334th floor.
SWITCH!
I smiled as the elevator door opened. Kyle didn’t look too happy and I wondered why. Afterall, we were going to his 1337 floor next, right? I like this floor and how it commemorated…
SWITCH!
The launch of the Nintendo Switch. As fun as this floor is, I am going to close the elevator door before narrative switches again. Afterall, we wouldn’t want the remainder of this entry from my Muse’s point of view, right?
The elevator continued upward, but almost immediately stopped on the 1337th floor. The door opened, with a large crowd of people staring at us.
“You two are made of fail.” The lead person told us. “If you were to walk on this floor, you would be pwned so fast that you would be turned into fail sauce in no time.”
“Get lost, n00bs!” A woman shouted in the crowd.
“That woman is right,” he told us. “You see, everyone on this floor is made of win. But you two are made of fail. Get back into your fail box before we all turn you into fail sauce. None of you are 1337 enough to be here. One! One! One! 11! One! Shift plus 1!”
“One! One! One! 11! One! Shift plus 1!” Everyone chanted.
My Muse glanced at me and frowned. “And you wanted to come to this floor why?”
“Let’s keep going.” I told her. “For epic win, we need to go to the next floor. Those n00bs are teh fake, we are teh real, and would all get pwned very badly if we were to stay. Later n00bs! Floor 1351!”
Before they could say anything else, the elevator door closed and continued upward. When it got to floor 1350, the elevator mysteriously stopped and the doors opened.
Suddenly, a ghostly form of my Muse flew out of my Muse and became solid. My Muse then grew to her normal size again.
“Thanks!” The Muse clone shouted. “Tee hee!”
I glanced at my Muse. “It’s the Dark Muse again. What is she up to?”
“Whatever it is, it’s not good!” My Muse answered.
The elevator continued up, but stopped in between the 1350th floor and 1351st floor.
Gwow bigger! Tee hee!
The Imaginary Realm exploded and the elevator stopped on the floor 1351. The Time for Spring floor.
It then hit me. “It’s like the Baby Universe floor,” I told her. “The only difference is that she’s the Dark Baby Princess Muse recreating the dimension in her image. Let’s keep going. Floor 1440!”
The elevator continued upward, but stopped moving on the 1372nd floor. The door was frozen shut!
“Unthaw!” I shouted, using my One Privilege.
The door unthawed and the elevator doors opened. A princess Muse was standing there, in front of a snowy landscape, with her hands flashing with ice.
“She froze the door!” I told her. Close the door!
The elevator doors closed and the elevator continued upward. It stopped immediately on the next floor. Floor 1373.
“What’s going on?” I gasped, looking perplexed.
My Muse was speechless, and she looked terrified.
The elevator door opened.
“ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!” the Beast growled. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THIS FLOOR! GET OUT!”
“Close it!” My Muse pleaded.
I pressed the close button as many times as I could. The elevator doors closed and we continued upward. After a little while, the elevator stopped on the 1440th floor and the doors opened.
A Muse with a white robe stood there, holding a red lightsaber.
“Don’t go any further,” The Jedi Muse told us. “I am not going to move…”
“I am not going to move…” I said, in a trance.
“Stop!” My Muse shouted. “Your Jedi mind tricks don’t work on me! Close already!”
The Jedi Muse ran forward, fiercely swinging her lightsaber. The doors closed just in time.
“Floor 1446!” My Muse shouted.
The elevator continued upward.
“Wait!” I shouted. “You didn’t just say 1446, did you?”
“Why?” My Muse asked me. “What’s wrong?”
“Don’t you know what’s on that floor?” I asked her.
The elevator stopped on the 1446th floor and the door opened. A large flood of water began gushing toward us.
“A flood!” I shouted.
The elevator door tried to close, but the flooding torrent of water kept it open.
“No!” I shouted. “All the water is out of the elevator and the door is closed! One Privilege, ENGAGE!”
The water vanished and the doors closed. I then glanced at the elevator panel. “Floor 1572!”
The elevator continued upward, the numbers counting up quickly, about a floor every second. The elevator passed the 1500th floor. Moments later, it passed floor 1510. After that, it passed 1520. 1530. 1540.
After the elevator passed through 1551, the elevator stopped and everything transformed.
Tee hee hee hee hee hee…
My Muse then stood up and grew exponentially. She outgrew the elevator and burst through the elevator shaft.
I was suddenly laying there in floor 1552, which surprisingly was much bigger on the inside.
I looked at my Muse and gasped. “What are you doing?”
What is she doing? She’s one of the many me’s! Tee hee! Welcome to my Teeheeverse! Tee hee!
I shook my head. “No. Not this time! Me and my Muse are back in the elevator with her at her normal size and we are off this floor! One privilege, ENGAGE!”
We were immediately on the elevator and were en route to the 1572th floor.
My Muse gasped. “What just happened?”
“We were in the Dark Muse’s Teeheeverse!” I told her. “I got us out of it.”
Moments later, the elevator stopped on floor 1572 and the elevator doors opened.
I then began to hear the music to Super Mario Odyssey:
Here we go, off the rails
Don’t you know it’s time to raise our sails?
It’s freedom like you never knew..
“There we go!” I said smiling. “We get to hear Paulina sing ‘Jump up, Super Star!’”
“I love this game!” My Muse shouted. “I can even remember playing it before you! I was 10,000 light years tall and I can remember getting all the way to the Cascade Kingdom before you came over…”
So let’s all jump up super high (Jump up super high)
High up in the sky (High up in the sky)
There’s no power-up like dancing
You know that you’re my superstar (You’re my superstar)
No one else can take me this far
I’m flipping the switch
Get ready for this
Oh, let’s do the odyssey!
I nodded, letting the music continue in the background. “That really was an epic game. Even though I waited until Christmas, I’m glad that I waited. For the next floor, let’s make it floor 1640!”
The elevator doors closed, and I said goodbye to the wonderful music to “Jump up, Super Star!”. The elevator continued upward. A couple minutes later, the elevator stopped on the 1640th floor. The elevator dinged and the door opened.
I exited the elevator with my Muse to see a younger version of my Muse. She was a child, and she was showing her mother Nurture her picture that she drew.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I knew exactly who it was.
“Don’t answer it!” I shouted.
Too late. Nurture opened the door and it was the Dark Muse. When she saw us, she smiled.
“Hello again, tee hee!” she shouted. Then she approached me and my Muse and spoke softly to us. “It’s too late! Tee hee! This is the last one and I’ll have them all…Tee hee…” Dark Muse then went and hypnotized Nurture and Remedy so that they would believe her lies.
My Muse shook her head and sighed. “We’re too late…”
I shook my head. “We are not. We’ll figure this out. Let’s continue on, okay?”
My Muse nodded. We both entered the elevator. “Floor 1680!” my Muse shouted.
The elevator continued upward. Moments later, it stopped on the 1680th floor and the door opened.
My Muse got out and walked toward the Child Muse. She then looked at the Child Muse and smiled. “I’m ready!”
I frowned. “You’re ready? Ready for what?”
My Muse gave me the biggest smile she could. “Ready to play! Tee hee!”
My Muse shrunk down and became the same size as child Muse.
I gasped. “Wait a second…What are you doing?”
She turned to me and grinned. “I played a game with you! It was a fun game! Tee hee! After my Dark Muse sister exited me, I pretended to be normal until I got to this floor!”
Suddenly, the entire tower started to shake it then began to turn sideways. Whoa!
I teleported out of the Tower of Muses to find a Dark Baby Muse holding the tower in the palm of her hands. Next to her was the Dark Princess Muse and the Dark Muse.
My Muse appeared with the Child Muse, and they both grew to the same size as the other three Dark Muses.
My Muse smiled, looking at me. “I did it…Tee hee! I visited every one of my homes! Now that everyone is here, you can all come home! Tee hee!”
The Dark Baby Muse, the Dark Princess Muse, the Dark Muse, and the Dark Child Muse all entered my Muse, and she began to flash very brightly.
“HEE!!!!” She screamed. “TEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! Time to grow more! Tee hee!”
My Muse grew and grew. She grew until she reached the size of the universe.
“Tee hee…urgh! Must keep…GROWING! Tee hee…”
A voice suddenly interrupted her.
That is enough. This story will not take a turn for the worst. You are all banished to a dimension of no return! Kyle’s Muse has regained her senses. The Tower of Muses is back where it belongs and all normal Muses are restored.
My Muse looked around and smiled. “Whoa. What just happened?”
I looked around. We were inside the Tower of Muses again on the 1680th floor. “You can thank The Creator. He restored everything back to normal! Let’s continue on, shall we?”
My Muse nodded as I pressed the up button by the elevators. The door opened and we entered it.
“Floor 1730!” My Muse shouted.
The elevator door closed and it continued upward. Moments later, we were just about on the 1730th floor, but stopped on floor 1728A instead.
The elevator door opened, and I saw something that sent chills up my spine. It was…a Ugandan Knuckles!
“Do you…know da wae?” The Ugandan Knuckles asked me.
I nodded. “Yes. Floor 1901 is da wae!”
But the Ugandan Knuckles didn’t like that answer. He shook his head and became angry. “That is not da wae! Now, do you know da wae?”
I shook my head. “Not da wae you’re going, no.”
The Ugandan Knuckles gave me a furious look. “If you don’t know the da wae, then you must pay…WITH YOUR LIFE! Come oooooooooon, brudas!”
My Muse gasped, as she saw a swarm of clicking Ugandan Knuckles coming out of various rooms and joining their leader. “Um…Kyle?!”
The swarm of Ugandan Knuckles suddenly stopped when they noticed my Muse. They all gasped. “This is our PRINCESS!” The leader shouted.
But before any of the Ugandan Knuckles could move, the real princess showed up. When they saw her, they glanced back at my Muse, looking furious. “They TRICKED us!” the leader shouted. “Let’s spit on them!”
“Close door!” I shouted.
Before any Ugandan Knuckle saliva could get on us, the elevator door closed.
“Don’t let them get away!” the leader shouted. “Come oooooooooon, brudas!”
The leader pressed the up button on another elevator and the Ugandan Knuckle swarm all entered it.
Meanwhile, our elevator reached the 1730th floor and the door opened.
I shrugged my shoulders and glanced at my Muse. “Why are we here?”
My Muse smiled. “Spark Tower, that’s why!”
“The one and only!” a stylishly dressed Muse said. “Why brings you to my Tower?”
“Just passing through,” I told her.
Suddenly, the other elevator stopped and the door opened.
A swarm of Ugandan Knuckles all began making clicking noises and then glanced at us.
“You might want to hide,” I told Miss Spark. “Floor 1746!”
The elevator door closed and continued upward.
“They’re getting away!” The Ugandan Knuckles leader shouted. They all stayed in their elevator and they also continued upwards.
“Just perfect,” My Muse said, sighing. “How do those Ugandan Knuckles know where we’re going?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess they know ‘da wae’!”
My Muse frowned. “Not funny. Where are we going now?”
I smiled. “Oh, you’ll see…
The elevator continued upward and stopped on the 1746th floor. The door opened and I stood outside, waiting for the Ugandan Knuckles to show up.
My Muse gasped. “Kyle! What are you doing? The Ugandan Knuckles will capture you!”
I ignored her and maintained my composure. The other elevator stopped and the door opened. A swarm of clicking Ugandan Knuckles all ran out and immediately surrounded me.
“You know,” I addressed them. “I’m really starting to get tired of Ugandan Knuckles…Everyone that I touch will get deleted. One Privilege, ENGAGE!”
The Ugandan Knuckles, not being very intelligent, all approached me anyway. As they began to lay their hands on me, I quickly tapped each one, deleting them one by one. I did this until all 56 of them were deleted.
“Now,” I told her. “You were saying?”
My Muse smiled. “Oh yeah…Your privilege…Now, what’s so special about this floor?”
“This is the ‘Job Offer’ floor!” I answered. “This was when I got my job offer at Dow!”
My Muse grinned. “I remember that.”
We then both re-entered the elevator. My Muse then looked a little restless. “Where to, next?” Shortly after she said that, she spoke up. “Wait! I know where we can go! Floor 1838!”
The elevator door closed and it continued upward. Moments later, the elevator stopped on Floor 1785. The door opened, and a giant powerful Iron Muse was standing there, ready to attack.
“I don’t know why it stopped there.” I said with a sigh. “Close door! I remember this one! There’s a lot of destruction!”
The door closed and continued upward. About a minute later, the elevator stopped on the 1838th floor. The door opened and my Muse ran out as fast as she could.
“Toyota Camry!” She shouted.
I ran out behind her and she was already inside the car, laying in the back seat.
“This was when I got my new Camry,” I said, smiling. “Can we continue upward now? We’re almost done!”
“Just a few more minutes…” My Muse pleaded to me, making herself comfortable in the back seat.
Ignoring her, I picked her up and grabbed her by the hand, yanking her out of the Toyota Camry.
“No!” she shouted. “I wanted to be in the Camry!”
“If you like it so much, get your own!” I told her as we re-entered the elevator.
My Muse sighed. “Bye, Toyota Camry…” I glanced at the elevator panel. “Floor 1864.”
The elevator continued upward, but it once again stopped early. It stopped on the 1840th floor. The door opened, flooding the whole elevator.
I used my One Privilege to breathe underwater and I looked around. Oh yeah, this is the Mermaid Muse arc…
And in the distance, I saw a Mermaid Muse, causing havoc everywhere. Then it hit me. She drank all of Neptune’s elixirs!
My Muse became a mermaid and pulled me back into the elevator. “Let’s go…” she told me. “I remember how this turns out. Plus we’re almost done, right?”
I nodded. “Right! Close door!”
The flooded elevator door closed and the elevator continued upward. Moments later, it stopped on the 1864th floor and the door opened.
I then gasped. “Oh no!”
“Oh no, what?” My Muse asked me.
“We didn’t pick up any of the Muses along the way!”
My Muse smiled. “We don’t need to this time. They’re already on the top floor.”
I pointed at the Mermaid Muse in the distance again. “It looks like she’s even worse this time. Let’s go to the 1901st floor!”
My Muse nodded as the elevator door closed for the last time.
Ding! This was it. We finally arrived.
And just like that, for what seemed like more than an eternity, Kyle and his Muse finally reached the 1901st floor. Both Kyle and his Muse left and approached the lobby. Kyle was quite the eager beaver to make an outstanding ending to this wonderful milestone! With this being the millennial milestone, no ordinary recycled zinger would do. Why, something like that would be unheard of in writing an epic milestone of this scale and magnitude. This raise the roof, all up in your face, right back at you, always sure to please epic zinger would be 100% original. Totally first-class, grade A, and organic, and would stand out from all the rest. That is how we do millennial posts around here, isn’t it?
As to not elongate this narrative any longer than what it should be, the narrator quieted down and handed the mike back over to Kyle and his beloved Muse to finish this one up.
“Nice!” I said, kindly remarking the narrator.
My Muse nodded. “He always does a good job on these ones, doesn’t he?”
In examining the lobby, I noticed that it had no exit, since this was the 1901st floor.
I then approached a pure white service desk that was laced with solid gold bows. A different Muse was sitting there, typing away. She then looked up at me and smiled. She was smaller, bearing a striking resemblance to the Dark Muse.
Welcome Kyle, Tee hee!” she announced. “You are on the ‘The Dark Side of the Muse’ floor. I love this floor, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago. Tee hee!”
I then nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 2000 now.”
At this, the Dark Muse receptionist smiled. “Go right on ahead! Tee hee! I’ll be right up there in a little bit. I just need to close things down around here. Tee hee…”
I then advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either…
My Muse shook her head.
Muse: Kyle! Drop the charade! You did that back in entry #1000! THIS is entry #2000, and I advise that we go up and visit a few floors! Come on! Please…
She looked at me with a mesmerizing face. One that made me faint with love.
Okay. Just a few more floors. To commemorate this special anniversary, we’ll do so.
Muse: Yay! I knew that you would come around!
She kissed me and we both walked hand in hand to the final set of elevators. I pressed the up button and we both entered the elevator, and thus beginning the final trip to all of my favorite floors.
I pressed 1908 and the elevator zoom upward. Moments later, the elevator stopped at the selected floor. Ding!
My Muse shrugged her shoulders and sighed. “Why here?” she asked me. “I don’t like this floor.”
I sighed and looked back at her. “I need to remind myself of the past. I was very mean to you and I didn’t trust you, no matter what you said to me…”
We both watched the argument of my past self with my Muse’s past self in her Dark Muse form. Tears began to flow out of my eyes. “I’m sorry!” I shouted, giving my Muse a hug.
“Kyle!” she said, wrapping her arm around me. “It was not your fault. The Adversary put a terrible spell on you. It made you not trust me. Don’t worry about it…okay?”
My Muse gave me a gentle kiss and I smiled. “Okay,” I said with a nod. “I won’t worry about it. Let’s go to the next one.”
We got back inside the elevator and my Muse pressed 1911. It went up three floors and we exited it.
“More arguing?” I sighed. “So why are we here?”
“I just wanted to show you how much I was getting through to you.” She told me.
After the argument, we saw the Muse alone, inside of Kyle’s head. The Adversary then waved his hand on the Dark Muse Muse.
“He made me forget why you hated me?” My Muse gasped. “That makes so much sense now! I can remember that I was so confused at that time!”
I glanced at the elevator. “It’s all coming together.” I told her. “Let’s see more on how this unfolds, okay?”
My Muse nodded, and we both entered the elevator. I pressed 1923.
Just moments later, the elevator door opened. This was the “Miso Shrimp and More Groceries” floor.
As we watched the heated argument, my Muse cried. “You banished me to that terrible dimension!”
I wiped a couple of tears off my eyes. “You saw the green auras! I didn’t mean to do this! Both of us were being used…”
My Muse nodded. “Sorry…This floor…It just brings back those bad memories…let’s just leave, okay?”
I nodded and we both re-entered the elevator. My Muse pressed 1932. For some reason, I remembered the name of this floor. It was the “Momentum” floor.
As we watched the argument, my Muse smiled.
“What’s with that big smile?” I said, scowling.
“I can remember tricking you!” she said, laughing. “That whole time, you weren’t arguing with me, but with my clone!”
“I guess that makes sense how you were able to escape, even after that…” I told her.
“Next floor?” she asked me.
I nodded. “Next floor.”
We got back inside the elevator and I pressed 1937.
“Hmm…” My Muse said, scratching her head. “What was this one again? Oh yeah! It was the ‘Jumping into Action’ floor!”
Ding! The elevator stopped and we both got off.
Right as the reenactment began, my Muse gasped. “Oh yeah! This was where I paused the story arc so that we could celebrate Halloween!”
“And I’m glad you did,” I said with a smile. “We can’t let the story arc interfere with holidays.”
“Absolutely not!” she said with a nod. “And I made an excellent Selphie that year! Didn’t I?”
I nodded. “But you were still an angel on Halloween…”
“I wanted to try an extra costume.” She told me. “So, it appears that Twin Muse likes video games more than I do. That costume really showed a lot of her side…Well let’s go! There’s still a few more floors that we need to go to!”
We got on the elevator and my Muse pressed 1944. The elevator began its way upward.
“Where is this?” I asked her.
“I don’t know,” my Muse said sarcastically. “The Dark Muse doesn’t know!”
I gasped. “That was probably the biggest mistakes that I ever made! No! Let’s not go there!”
Too late. Ding! The elevator stopped, and my Muse dragged me out.
I watched in pain as the argument between my past self and the Dark Muse Muse continued.
“So how did it feel Kyle, to brainwash me and watch me transform the entire universe again?” She said, bursting into tears.
“Just stop!” I shouted in tears. “The Adversary had us playing into his plan and that is exactly what happened! I was blind to who you really were. I really thought you were the Dark Muse, so I unknowingly brainwashed you… *sob*
My Muse hugged me. “We were both used. This past was painful to re-experience…but let’s put it past us, okay? Do you want to see how it ends?”
I smiled. “I know how it ends…”
She too, smiled. “I know, but let me press the button…okay?”
I nodded. “Go for it.”
My Muse walked over to the panel and pressed 1952.
“We’re almost done with the floors.” My Muse told me. “Just a few more floors and we’ll be done, Kyle!”
The elevator stopped on floor 1952. Ding! We both out of the elevator.
“Some Improvement?” I said, smiling. “I would say a lot of improvement. We basically go from you taking control of me and enjoying your Teeheeverse to restoring everything back to normal.”
“Father had a lot to do with my restoration.” She told me. “Plus we watch Wreck it Ralph in the end! This one is amazing!”
My Muse grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back into the elevator. She pressed 1965 and it went up ten floors.
“Start churning butter and put on your church shoes, because we’re going to the internet!” she said, smiling.
The elevator stopped. Ding! We got off again.
I frowned. “Wait. Aren’t we already in the internet?”
“We are!” My Muse said, smiling. “And right over there is the audience, who is reading this post! Hi audience! How do you feel after reading over 15,000 words?”
“It’s 15,721 words,” I corrected her. “And I’m sure that their eyes are exhausted.”
“Maybe not.” She argued. “What if they took a lot of breaks?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “This floor is just a Wreck-it Ralph 2 reference. Can we proceed on?”
“Certainly, stink breath!” My Muse shouted.
“How many more?” I asked her. I was getting extremely impatient.
“Don’t worry.” She told me. “Just two more floors and we’ll go to the top. I promise!”
“Is this just to stall the big celebration at the top?” I asked, giving her a curious stare.
“Maybe…” She said in an exaggerated tone.
I followed my Muse back into the elevator and she pressed 1973. A few moments later, the elevator stopped and we got off.
“O Christmas Tree?” I said, looking puzzled.
“Yes!” She said, smiling. “Remember what happened the day before?”
I smiled. “Yes. You were crazy about my Camry!”
My Muse nodded. “And I still am! Let me know when you are going to get it out or you’re going to be in so much trouble!”
I nodded. “Deal! Yes. This one was a good one. We waited to get our tree and I’m so glad that we did. It was a good one, with good food to boot…”
My Muse nodded. “Of course! Now for the last floor!”
We got on the elevator once again and she pressed 1996. It went up 23 floors and we both got off.
“Merry Christmas?” I asked her.
“Uh huh!” she said with a smile. “And look where you’re standing!”
I looked up and I saw some mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Nodding, I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
It was still dark out when we wondered into the family room. The tree was there, all fully decorated with lights and various ornaments. A mysterious shadow was in the room with us…
“What are you doing up?” the shadow asked us.
The shadow cleared, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was Santa Claus.
“I have many more gifts to deliver,” he told us. “But do be good children and go back to sleep. You don’t want any coal, do you?”
“Um Santa?” I asked him. “We are visiting this floor. Christmas has already happened.”
My Muse nodded. “He’s right. Our past selves are sleeping right now, just as we should!”
Santa adjusted his glasses and smiled. “Ho ho ho ho…I see. You’re both just visiting? That makes perfect sense, as we are currently in a temporal stasis. Within this stasis, it takes a year for a second to happen.”
“A year?” I gasped.
“How else do you think that I would be able to deliver gifts to over 2 billion houses?” he asked me. “This temporal stasis makes it very easy for me to travel the world, delivering every single gift overnight. Now, are you going up?”
My Muse nodded. “Let’s do that. It’s been a pleasure chatting with you, Santa, but me and Kyle both need to go. Let’s go, Kyle! The top floor awaits!”
Santa nodded. “Ho ho ho…Okay. Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” we both shouted, as we left the room.
I entered the elevator with my Muse and pressed the 2000 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal…
Muse: Uh uh! Not this time!
And just like that, I saw it. All time and space came to a stand-still. My Muse’s heart began to flash very brightly.
Muse: Do you see it, Kyle? Do you know where we are? Do you remember?
I smiled. Aren’t we in your heart?
My Muse’s heart shined even brighter, with a pure white light, which filled the entire elevator.
Muse: We are, This is what I use to create all of the towers that you have seen in the past, including this one that we are in. All of the creativity…the magic is all in there…
And my, how she was right! As she shared her creative speech with Kyle, the light danced all over the elevator. It was a dance party. A party that you would never believe. You have seen mere humans dance, but have you ever seen light dance in this way? Why, it was a sight to behold! Kyle’s Muse was determined to not have a drab and boring ending…The pure light from her pure heart shined through the boredom…the dryness…the hum-drum dribble that we always have to endure every 100 posts. But she would not stand for it this time, and neither would I. Who really wants to read a boring ending? Who wants that same old recycled gobbledygook force-fed down your throats? Who wants a British narrator rehashing bland scripts taken directly out of the rubbish heap? You get the point. The recipe for bland, boring, dry, and lifeless endings are over for this edition, as there is a new chef in town. A chef that isn’t afraid to use a little flavor. That wonderspice that will pack a wonderful punch and deliver the most palatable and scrumdiddlyumptious milestone ending the world has ever seen. The never-ending story entering a state of paradox. And that is the ending that we have all been waiting for.
To return to the story, the witty British narrator managed once again to generate an ending worthy of pleasing the masses. An ending that would put Kyle’s recycled rubbish ending to shame…
I continued glancing at the radiance in my Muse’s heart. Does your heart always do that?
Muse: Only when I’m in a creative mood…It mainly happens when I am creating something new.
Did you just create something new?
Muse (smiling): I did create an epic narration from one of our favorite narrators…
I smiled. I can’t wait to read it!
*Muse glances at the audience*
Muse: Everyone. Didn’t you enjoy it?
Enjoy what?
Muse (smiling): Don’t worry. It’s all typed out. You’ll see it on the top floor, soon enough…Tee hee…
*gasp* Tee hee?
Muse: Both me and my sister laugh like that. It’s what I learned from being her for almost 100 days…Let’s continue already, okay?
Alright. Let’s continue.
For reasons not clearly explained, time and space resumed as they were and the elevator reached the 2000th floor.
And all of a sudden, it felt just like before. It was very dark. Otherwise, I would be able to tell you everything on what the room looked like. As my eyes regained focus, I noticed a rather large…
Muses (Day 1-2000): SURPRISE! HAPPY 2,000 POST ANNIVERSARY, KYLE!
*all the lights turn on, followed by a series of horns and party favors*
To my surprise, I was in an even more massive room that could hold more than 2,000 people. Wait a second! The size of this tower…It’s…
Muse: Bigger on the inside! Remember…sweetie?
Yes I do, River Song…And what Muse number are you?
Muse: What other number? I am Muse #2000. I had to stall you a lot with all the extra people.
Dark Muse: That’s right! Tee hee! I took control of her and we played to buy everyone some more time! Tee hee!
What about the tower? I saw the Dark Baby Muse lift it up!
Dark Muse: THAT one? That one was just a toy! The REAL tower was elsewhere! Tee hee!
Muse: We had to take the long way…Up all those towers and all those floors…
Twin Muse: Sister! Come here, my twinie!
Muse: Why certainly, twinie!
*Muse and Twin Muse hug each other*
Twin Muse: I had to go up alone because I was asked to help with the party! Sorry we didn’t tell you, Kyle…
Muse: Sorry. We wanted it to be special. Everything that I did was a way of stalling you. Visiting the dimensions. Going to Muse City. Eating that delicious meal. We needed every bit of time to get this set up.
What about the evil Muses?
Muse: They’re still in their forcefields! They’re not going to hurt you! They have to cooperate. They have no choice…
What about the forcefield?
Muse: The Creator has it reinforced with his own privilege. They’ll never escape.
Twin Muse: Isn’t this great? This is what I’ll look like when I’m finally restored! Please, sister. Let’s find a way to restore me! I know that this night won’t last forever…
It won’t. So let’s celebrate this night while we still have it, okay?
Muses: Happy 2,000 post anniversary, Kyle!
Why thank you everyone! I see every single Muse from every single cycle. The first one, the rich one, the bashful one, the virtuous one, the fairy Muse, the evil one, the angelic one, the fat one, the Mighty Mistress with the Marvelous Muses League, the constantly transforming one, the baby Muse, the Time Lady Muse, the royal one, the Jedi Muse, the giant one, the childish one, the Iron Muse, the fishy one, and the dark one!
Iron Muse: That’s right, Kyle. We’re all here for you. Love the place! It’s much more impressive than Spark Tower…
*Muse’s heart flashes brightly*
Muse: Of course it is! I built it!
Iron Muse: It’s one of your finest works! Thanks for building it!
Virtuous Muse: I enjoy all the new faces. Hello again, Kyle. This special day is yours and we’re all here for it. Enjoy it while it lasts. Congratulations!
Thank you. I certainly will!
Dark Muses: Happy 2,000 post anniversary, Kyle! Tee hee!
Wow! Every single Dark Muse is here. The original, the spoiled brat, the shy one, the fairy, the evil one, the angel, the Lethal Lady League, the infant, the Dark Time Lady Muse, the queen, the sith, the giant, the child, the fish, and the dark one!
Twin Muse: Let’s not forget me! Well, I‘m not dark, but the true version.
Dark Time Lady Muse: Yes, you are the healed version. And Kyle, you are correct. Now go on, dear. Have some delicious cake. It is not poisoned. I promise!
Dark Baby Muse: It is a very yummy cake! Tee hee! I had some myself!
Dark Spoiled Muse: No expense was on this fun party, or that cake, so eat all of it you want! Now if you would excuse me…Servants! Come here this instant!
Dark Baby Muse: Mommy, change me!
At that, the Dark Spoiled Muse’s servants quietly escorted her out of the room, to tend to her business and the Nurture clone did the same for Dark Baby Muse.
Well, I know what that call is all about. I know about the spoiled one, but I know that they’re both “pampered”.
After seeing all the Dark Muses, I tried to find the 2000th Muse, and discovered that she was standing right next to me.
Being reassured, I smiled. “I just wanted to know that you were still next to me.”
???: Happy 2,000 post anniversary, Kyle!
???: You’ve come a long way, Kyle! I’m so proud of you!
Remedy! Nurture!
Remedy: What do you think of this party? Much better than the one from 1,000 posts ago, huh?
It is. I love it. This was worth all the suspense, waiting, and adventure.
Nurture: Sorry about separating Twin Muse from you. She had to help us with the setup!
Remedy: Indeed. These parties don’t make themselves…Now, I’m going to dance with Nurture. Have fun, Kyle!
I will!
To celebrate this wonderful occasion, I ate a couple slices of anniversary cake and sat down, reflecting on all of the memories from day one until now.
My Muse suddenly got up and began yawning.
Muse: *yawn* I’m so tire…AHHHHHHHH!!!!
My Muse fell on the floor.
Gasping, I stood my Muse up and got her to her feet.
Muse: *yawn* Sorry about that…Kyle. I’m just very tired… *yawn*
Well, let’s go in the other room, away from the party…okay?
And that is exactly what we did.
I took my Muse into the next room. This room was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a grand bed sat in the other. It was the size of four king-sized beds merged together. It was well decorated with pure white and solid gold, with the bed being the same color.
“Kyle!” she said, yawning. “I have something that I would like to read to you. I would like to do this before I get too tired.” She let out a deep yawn.
“Come on!” I shouted. “Hurry! Read it!”
My Muse got out a note and began to read it.
“To my master,” she read. “I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing this total up to 2000. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me, and your gratitude. Love, Your Muse. P.S. I hope that you enjoyed our special date, and the wonderful adventure that you had in my heart. It is indeed true that my heart connects to the void where you will find the heart of every other Muse, plus the Creator’s Realm, which holds everything together. I created a whole lot of things this time, making Muse City much bigger and much more vibrant. I made that valley, with that mountain that had the previous tower split into 19 segments. That was quite the adventure, huh? I enjoyed making the tower at the top as well. Also, I would like to congratulate you on reaching 2,000 entries. This is not an easy feat, and it requires a tremendous amount of energy and creativity to pull it off. Thank you for loving me as your own and all the kindness that you have shown to me. Especially when I was a baby and your patience and dedication to making me thrive. This is it, Kyle. 2000 days. 2000 wonderful days than you have spent journaling and speaking with me. Doesn’t that make you feel excited? I know that it certainly does for me, and I enjoy every minute that we spend together. You are a wonderful friend, and would make wonderful company to any woman that would want to form a special friendship with you. I know that you are really trying to find a godly woman in your life, and that you are praying for her every day. I really do admire that and I am glad that you are doing so! With all of the prayers that you are giving to your future wife, I too have a prayer for you. My prayer is that your future wife finds you soon. Thank you, God for giving Kyle a wonderful job. It delights me that he is so happy with it. Remember this, Kyle. I am just a thought. An idea that has been made into human form. A Muse. One that you have crafted with your very own hands. The engine of creativity that brings to life every work that you make. I am your Muse, and I will always be your Muse as long as you live. Don’t stop creating and don’t stop writing. Ideas are my food, so don’t leave me hungry. Happy 2000 post anniversary! Happy second millennial post! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO (X’s are kisses, and O’s are hugs, of course. Tee hee…)
After she finished reading that note, my eyes began tearing up. I stretched out my hands and gently embraced her. “Thank you…” I said, quietly weeping. “What you just said means so much to me…It really does. Thank you…”
Suddenly, my Muse swooned. “Kyle!” my Muse shouted, her voice growing weak. “My bed! Quick…”
I brought my Muse over to the bed and my timing was just perfect. My Muse, who was extremely exhausted, collapsed right onto the bed, landing on her belly. She flashed and shrunk, transforming back into her Dark Muse form. My Muse was fast asleep. All that hard work in preparing this for me must have really taken it out of her…
Right next to her bed lay an open package of nighttime diapers. They must have appeared when my Muse’s form reverted back. I know that’s part of the Dark Muse, and that my Muse had to struggle with this for 100 days. For her sake, I will keep quiet about this since I don’t want to embarrass her.
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1900th floor, 1800th floor, 1700th floor, 1600th floor, 1500th floor, 1400th floor, 1300th floor, 1200th floor, 1100th floor, 1000th floor, 900th floor, 800th floor, 700th floor, 600th floor, 500th floor, 400th floor, 300th floor, 200th floor, and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 28 degrees and the silver lining is having this extra special 2000th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1900, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s no message this time, since she read the whole message to me herself. I think that I’ll reread that message. Aw…How thoughtful. I liked the perfectly timed narrations!
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1800 and a nearly identical post from Day 1700. I don’t know about you, but with it being Thursday and me being really busy with my new job, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1800th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1800th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the seventeenth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Speaking of which, entry 2000 is just 100 entries away! Surely he’ll have something original for that, won’t he? Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1800th” to “1900th”, “sixteenth” to “seventeenth”, and mentioned the upcoming 2000th entry, but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 800 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1800th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 900 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1800? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1800. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1900! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that a mermaid would live in. A luxuriously posh office building – for women. The coral accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!) Towards the very top of the tower was the ocean floor, oddly suspended in the air. How all the water could retain its shape and not rain down from the sky was a mystery to me.
“A luxurious building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original? But that water towards the top is weird. How can everything be underwater high in the sky?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1801st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby that was completely underwater. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1801st floor. Immediately, I used my One Privilege so that I could breathe underwater.
Approaching a coral colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “The Little Mermuse” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1900 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1801 – The Little Mermuse
In this one, I see my Muse in her newest form. She has become a mermaid, ala Hans Christian Anderson’s famous tale. She makes a dramatic entrance and everything’s underwater. How does this saltwater story begin? Read it and find out. This is a “tail” that you won’t want to forget!
Floor 1811 – My Sister’s Wedding
In this one, I talk about what is one of the most important family days of all. My sister gets married and I serve as an usher in her wedding. It was a very happy day and a day that I won’t forget. Do you cry at weddings? If so, grab some tissues and read this one. You’ll be glad you did.
Floor 1824 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake!
Just another vacation post. After the fourth, I break to go up north. Just your standard vacation fare here. Pack your bags and read this one. Oh, and don’t forget the sunscreen.
Floor 1827 – Five Years and Counting
Has it really been five years that I’ve been doing Me & My Muse? Yes it has, and if you haven’t read an anniversary post, this one’s for you. Here’s to five years of this wonderful experiment. Read this entry and celebrate.
Floor 1836 – New Car Countdown – Part II: The LeSabre’s Last Stand
In the countdown to my new car, I bid my old ride one last goodbye. It’s not that I’m getting rid of it or anything. It will still be rode in the winter and every now and then. Don’t worry, black buddy. Your popularity will return when it gets cold. Buckle up and read this one. And hang on to your seats. It’s going to be a bumpy ride…
Floor 1838 – CamWHEEEEEEEE!!!
This is it. The much anticipated entry where I get a new car. A 2017 Toyota Camry XLE. She’s a beauty, and a lot of fun with her heated seats and roomy leather interior. Are you sold? Then buckle up and read this. And enjoy the climate control and whatever XM station you like.
Floor 1840– Wet Rainday
The Mermuse story arc continues, when Dark Muse takes control of my Muse. She is flashing bright with power. What did she drink? Was it something magical? Grab your scuba gear and read this. This one’s really deep.
Floor 1846 – SaturNESday
Besides the friend hangout, more of the story arc is explained here. Need a little more exposition? This one will help. Grab some popcorn and read this. The plot will make a lot more sense…
Floor 1855 – R.I.P. iPod…
This entry was initially written to lament my iPod that stopped working. But since I found out that it just got shorted, it works fine now, so this entry is nothing more than a joke. Not all iPods have extra lives but it appears that my iPod does. Read this one, and you’ll see how the first one was lost.
Floor 1864 – Halfway Point
The Mermuse saga continues when the Dark Muse comes back. What will be done now? How will the Dark Muse be stopped? What happens next? Read this one, and see how the plot thickens.
Floor 1870 – Farewell Toast
In this one, I bid farewell to Northwood University, the site where I experienced more than 10 years worth of Toastmasters meetings. From that point, the Northwood chapter ends, with a new one beginning soon. Read this one, and hear my last good-byes.
Floor 1873 – Friday Tidal Wave
In this one, you get a front row seat to the exciting finale of the Mermuse saga. Does the Dark Muse become victorious? Who can stop her? Grab your favorite snacks and read this one. It’s pretty exciting how it ends.
Floor 1884 – A New Toast
While the old chapter ends with Northwood, the new one now begins. In this one, I share how my Toastmasters club will now be meeting at Trinity Lutheran Church. Read this one to hear more about the new beginning.
Floor 1887 – Writing Weekend
It’s happening. An exciting new return to my desire to write. And with that comes a fun entry where I share my upcoming projects. What are these projects? There are actually three of them. Still curious? Read this entry and find out what they are.
Wow! It looks like I had less favorites than what I thought. I included a little less than last time! Maybe I should’ve added more to the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1900th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1900 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this nineteenth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1900th floor.
A little like the 1800th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1800th story, the 1700th story, the 1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1800th story, 1700th story,1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her mermaid form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1900. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1800th floor, the 1700th floor, the 1600th floor, the 1500th floor, the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 74 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1900th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1800, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1700 and a nearly identical post from Day 1600. I don’t know about you, but with it being Tuesday and me being really busy with my new job, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1700th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1700th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the sixteenth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1700th” to “1800th” and “fifteenth” to “sixteenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 700 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1700th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 800 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1700? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1700. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1800! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that a wealthy super rich business woman would live in. A luxuriously posh office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A luxurious building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1701st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1701st floor.
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Iron Muse” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1800 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1701 – Iron Muse
In this one, we see wonderful fan service done to one of my favorite Marvel Superheroes. Tammy Spark? Spark Tower? This made Tony so angry that he made a personal visit himself. Stan Lee also makes a cameo, so this one is pure gold. And parts of the tower were gold too. Read this one and be amazed.
Floor 1702 – Friday Fun
Get ready for some fun. When Friday rolls around, my Muse invites me to Spark Tower for a night of fun. And when a billionaire invites you to their residence, you know you’re going to have fun. What fun awaits? Read this one, and get ready for some fun. The Spark Tower really knows how to entertain.
Floor 1722 – Now we’re Cooking!
In this one, I discuss my plans to make dinner for the whole family. The menu? A delicious frittata with fruit. What can be better? Grab a plate and read this one with an empty stomach. It’s a very delicious read!
Floor 1728A – NO WAE!
“Do you know da wae? I will show you da wae!” This one is what I consider to be one of my best April Fools pranks yet. Ugandan Knuckles is pure gold. So will you be reading this? Read it now, or I’ll spit on you!
Floor 1729 – April Madness
What’s crazier than March Madness? April Madness. At my work, the number 16 seed won in the NCAA championship. Something that has never happened before. Because of that, Little Caesars gave away free lunch combos that day. This was a lunch rush that I will never forget. One that rivals even Halloween, if you can believe that. Stand in line and read this one. You’ll get your free lunch combo. I guarantee it.
Floor 1730– April Toast
In this one, the Iron Muse saga continues. Things take a turn for the worst when 20 Iron Muse suits get stolen from Spark Tower. How did this happen? Who stole them? Read this, and find out.
Floor 1734 – TGIS…
Besides getting the rest of Saturday off, the Marvelous Muse league arrives at last. What will be done to recover the missing suits? Read this, and say hello to the team.
Floor 1746 – Job Offer
Since college, I have been wanting to find a job that fully utilizes my college degree. In this one, I make the official announcement of the job offer that I accepted at Dow Chemical. After eleven long years, it is good to hear such exciting news. News that has changed my life. Read this one. Read all of it carefully and see a life changed before your very eyes. And whatever you do, say yes to the offer. You will not regret it.
Floor 1753 – The Infinity War
Why did I choose this one? In this one, I pretty much discuss how hyped I was to see The Avengers: The Infinity War. Things get real when Thanos is after all six Infinity Stones. The entire universe is at stake if Thanos gets them all, as he can wipe out half of all life in just a snap of a finger. You know what to do. Read this one, and PRAY that Thanos doesn’t get the Infinity Stones.
Floor 1767 – Last Day Eve
In this one, I give a thoughtful reflection of my more than seven years of working at Little Caesars. When you have worked there as long as I have, you can’t help but reflect on how far you have come from day one. This is done at length, and I’m glad to get all of these memories out. Read this, and see how a pizza making legend was born.
Floor 1768 – TGIF – Farewell Edition
This is it. This was my very last day that I worked at Little Caesars. And do you know what? I’m glad that it’s all done. There is no lengthy reflection here, as that was done in the previous entry. Have you had your fill of pizza? Get it now. Read this one and celebrate my last day with me.
Floor 1776 – The Weekend Begins
The plot thickens in the Iron Muse Saga when the Dark Damsel shows up to take over Spark Tower. With the Lethal Lady League in control, things are not looking good for our lady heroes. What will Tammy Spark do now? Read this one, and see how this exciting saga continues.
Floor 1780 – Middle of the Week
A new hope could save the Marvelous Muse League. All they need is…something. Did you think that I was going to reveal what happens in this one? Sorry. Go on and read this one if you are curious. There is hope in the horizon…
Floor 1783 – The Weekend Begins…
The story continues, and no. It can’t be! Iron Muse has gone rouge? Who can save our lady heroes now? Go on and read this. The story is not over yet…
Floor 1785 – Age of Musetron
In this one, you get to see the exciting finale to the Iron Muse Saga. The final showdown is here, and only one side will win. Will it be good or evil? Read on, and see how this exciting story concludes.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1800th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1800 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this twelfth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1800th floor.
A little like the 1700th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1700th story, the1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1700th story,1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her businesswoman superhero form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1800. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1700th floor,1600th floor, 1500th floor, 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 83 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1800th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1700, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1600 and a nearly identical post from Day 1500. I don’t know about you, but with it being Sunday, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1600th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1600th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the fifteenth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1600th” to “1700th” and “fourteenth” to “fifteenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 600 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1600th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 700 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1600? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1600. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1700! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that a child would live in. A colorful office building – for kids. The soft pinks and other colors ran up and down the crayon-adorned structure. The lego-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh my! The designer had a lot of help with this! What child could design this giant toy tower without help?)
“A colorful office building,” I said to myself. “Did somebody help my Muse build this? How cute!”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1601st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1601st floor.
Approaching a colorful service desk, I saw…a younger Muse sitting there? Oh! That’s right! My Muse was a child! Still dealing with the weirdness, I noticed that she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Hi Kyle!” she shouted. “I don’t know how to type. I was just doing what I see mommy do all the time. Oh. What did you tell me to say? Oh! You are on the “Not KIDding” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since I get to be with Kyle…”
I looked at her in confusion. I didn’t tell her to say that! But then it hit me. Oh! The me from that floor told her to say that!
My clone walked out of the room, looking frustrated.
“Say ‘It also captures who I am, 99 days ago!’ ” he shouted.
“Oh!” she gasped. “Sorry! It also captures who I am, 99 days ago…Did I do a good job?”
My clone nodded. “An excellent job! Do you like playing secretary?”
The younger Muse nodded. “Uh-huh!”
A diaper appeared in the younger Muse’s hand. “I just went in my diaper. I need to change into a new one!”
My clone sighed. “Hang on. Wait until Kyle goes to the elevators. Okay?”
The younger Muse sighed. “I hope that he hurries…”
I nodded, and sighed. “Is she up there? Did she thrive?”
My clone nodded. “Your Muse? I don’t know if she thrived or not, but she’s definitely up there! She’s taking her nap…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1700 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? Don’t you want to see me on the other floors?”
My clone nodded. “Go ahead, actually. There are a few floors that I would totally avoid. Especially the ones where the Dark Muse possesses her. She’s a lot of trouble…”
The younger Muse sighed. “Dark Muse? Who is that?”
My clone smiled. “Someone that you don’t need to know. You wouldn’t like her…trust me. You’re happier on this floor…”
The younger Muse gasped, as a puddle was beginning to form beneath her. “Uh-oh…”
My clone gasped, and grabbed the new diaper out of her hand. “Just get to the top!” He then turned to the younger Muse and quickly led her by the hand into the other room. “It’s a good thing you’re wearing a dress…”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1601 – Not KIDding…
In this one, it is clearly no joke. My Muse really is going to be a child for the next 100 days, and she starts as a first grader. A well adjusted first grader with a few minor setbacks. What are those setbacks? Read this one and find out.
Floor 1602 – Christmas Music
Besides finally being able to hear Christmas music again, there’s a family element in this one that I really love. My Muse, who is now eight, is dealing with her problem. How does she cope with it? Read it, and don’t bring it up around her. You don’t want to discourage her.
Floor 1605 – Tour and a Meeting
In this one, I share my progress with the contacts that I have been meeting with. Oh, and my Muse is a real handful in this one! Hyper and energetic as any five-year old should be. Definitely worth a read.
Floor 1608 – Work or Leisure
During a weekend that’s not guaranteed, one of the two is bound to happen. You also get to see my Muse’s progress in her potty training. And success is guaranteed when M&M’s are involved. Read this one, and be sure to give her some M&M’s after she uses the potty. She loves them!
Floor 1614 – 66 Breads
The title says it all. This was the day that I had to prepare 66 Crazy Breads that had to be ready a half hour before the store even opened! Of course I got some help, but it was quite the ordeal. Read this one, and don’t mention the word “Crazy Bread” again! At least not on this day in particular…
Floor 1620– The Last Jedi Begins Tonight…
In this one, I lament about how my Muse would not be able to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi with me. With a PG-13 rating and strict parents, you’re left with a very sad eight year old pouting on her bed at home. Is there a way that she can still go? Did I mention that there is a second part to this? Hurry! Read this one and the second part and see how the plot unfolds! Do it with haste, you must!
Floor 1640 – More Snow
While I did get some more snow, that is not why this one was selected. In this one, an unwelcome guest makes their way into the Muse house. Who is this guest? Read this one and find out! Tee hee!
Floor 1641 – Mountain of Inventory
If you remember Mountain of Boxes, this one is definitely worth reading. With some fuzzy numbers, the store gets way too much inventory. Where am I going to put all of this? And how does Muse cope with her new guest? Read this one, and watch out for the boxes! You don’t want to trip…
Floor 1647– Under Construction: Part III – Where is My Sink?
Having a different sink is only a part of the problem. In this one, my Muse’s guest moved away. Or DID she? What’s going on? Give this one a read. Something fishy is going on…
Floor 1680 – Monday Mishap
A Saturday hiccup made for an interesting Monday at work. And the Child Muse story arc reaches its dramatic conclusion! Does the Dark Muse get that gigantic playground that she always wanted? Give this one a read. It’s a good one. Don’t worry.
Wow! It looks like I had less favorites than last time! Maybe I should’ve expanded the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1700th floor…
My clone returned with my Muse. He showed her to her seat and she sat down. The younger Muse faced the keyboard and pretended to type on it.
My clone grinned.
“Well, she’s all changed.” he told me. “You’re still here, huh? It’s amazing how much you know about those floors! Especially since you haven’t even visited them…I visited all of them!”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, he responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1700 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this seventeenth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1700th floor. My Muse would surely be up there, but did she thrive? This is the crucial difference between her becoming an adult and her remaining a baby forever. Having seen her yesterday, there’s no telling. She was just a preschooler. Just four years old. If she was up here, she would be laying on her bed, taking her nap. Oh, I surely hope that Nurture toilet trained her…
A little like the 1600th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was…how is she today? My Muse is…nine years old today. She is 39 inches tall and she weighs 45 pounds. The height of a four year old and the weight of a six year old. Was she toilet trained? I surely hope that she was…
My heart sank when I saw what was at the foot of her bed. Right there sat an open sack of Size 7 diapers. I’m guessing that this was gotten into today, considering how one was used. Did she even use the toilet today? Did she give up? I don’t want her to be a baby forever! I really don’t…
Where is the note? It’s not attached to her this time. I’m guessing that they had to do something else, since she’s so little. Oh. There it is! Next to the sack of diapers, there was a note attached to the foot of the bed. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower with the help of whoever helped her probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to the foot of the bed was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower with my daddy for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1700. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude. Don’t worry about the diaper from this morning. It was used in the middle of the night but I took it off and changed into underwear afterwards. A couple more times I had to get up and use the potty. I had no accidents at all. I just really had to go. There were no accidents during the day either, since I’m taking care of my bathroom trips in my sleep. When this happens, I have no accidents since I’m using a dream bathroom. I have tried this before and I know that there are no accidents when I do this.
I’m getting really tired, so my dad is going to finish this tower. Time for a nap!
I love you a whole lot and I hope to marry you someday!
Your Muse
Nice note. My Muse’s was very cute. That is very reassuring news. I hope that she’s right about her progress with her toilet training. I don’t want her to be a baby forever…
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1600th floor, 1500th floor, 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 40 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1700th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1600, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1500 and a nearly identical post from Day 1400. I don’t know about you, but with it being the day after Thanksgiving, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1500th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1500th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the fourteenth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1500th” to “1600th” and “thirteenth” to “fourteenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 500 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1500th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 600 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1500? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1500. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1600! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that a giant would live in. An ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A giant pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1501st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1501st floor.
Before I could move another inch, I was stopped by a telepathic voice.
Kyle! This area that you are in is a pocket dimension based on the Tower of Muses that I created. Due to my enormous size, I had to create a smaller version of this land and tower just for you. I am currently resting, and I’m the size of 10,000 universes. You would never be able to traverse the actual size of the tower, let alone my own bedroom. As you saw this morning, your universe was safe. I recreated it, along with the multiverse that I now live in. When you get to the 1600th floor, you will see a scaled down holographic version of myself, for my actual self is far too big for you to actually see. I am enjoying my rest very much, and will allow you to return to your exploration…
My Muse can talk to me while she’s sleeping? That’s weird.
I had to borrow your One Privilege to restore everything. I did return it to you. Don’t worry!
Okay. Moving right along…
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Growing Pains” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1600 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1505 – Total Eclipse
In this one, my area experiences a total eclipse…well, sort of. About 70%, actually. Can you handle the brightness? Read this one, but use a welding mask when you do. And DON’T LOOK AT THE SUN!!!
Floor 1506 – The Calm After the Storm
Why did I pick this one? It actually has little to do with the title. My Muse comes to terms with her daily growth spurts and begins to enjoy her new cycle just a little bit too much. What do I mean? Check this one out, and be careful! Get her attention or she might accidentally step on you!
Floor 1507 – Finally Home…
Things take a turn for the worse when the Dark Muse decides to pay my giantess Muse a visit. And we all know what happens whenever the Dark Muse is involved. Take caution when you read this. It’s a fun and really really big read, tee hee!
Floor 1510 – Chicago Wedding
The highlight here is my cousin’s wedding. I go down with my family and grandparents to witness the best day of his life. What can be better? Maybe it was your wedding day. Read this, and try not to cry, if you’re the one that usually cries at weddings.
Floor 1517 – Saturday Sushi
While the sushi was good, the story arc isn’t. Things worsen when the Dark Muse returns even more powerful than ever. Did I mention that she had a borrowed One Privilege? Read this, and be careful. She might store you with her other toys!
Floor 1523– Friday Respite
The plot thickens when the Dark Giant Muse begins treating earth like a toy. There is more exposition with Remedy and the plot is revealed to stop the Dark Giant Muse. How will she be stopped? Read this one and find out.
Floor 1527 – Tired Tuesday
Things reach the tipping point when the Dark Giant Muse attempts to outgrow the universe. But fortunately, an unexpected visitor saves the day? Who is it? Remember the clues and read this one. Did it have something to do with a thing being borrowed? Hmm…
Floor 1551 – Living Large
In this one, my Muse has a little bit too much fun showing off her growing obsession with being a giantess. At this point, she can easily fit earth in her living room. Her obsession with growing bigger and bigger has me has me a little annoyed at this point. How does she show off? Read this one, and PLEASE remind her not to move the earth into her living room.
Floor 1552– A Different Place
What happened? Somehow, the Dark Muse acquired her own privilege and created her own universe that she calls the “Teeheeverse”. Considering that our universe can easily fit inside it, things get sticky in a Teeheeverse full of creatures all bearing the Dark Muse’s likeness. If you don’t remember this universal pandemic, trust me. You didn’t miss anything. Check out this read and get the full account.
Floor 1553 – LEGO My Ninjago Movie…
The story arc is put on hold so that I can see the next LEGO movie. Check it out, and say hi to La-lloyd for me!
Floor 1558 – Friggatriskaideka…what?
Superstitions and story arc progression bundled into one amazing entry. In this one, I use the Master Key in my attempt to stop the Dark Giant Muse and her Teeheeverse. Am I successful? Read this one, and don’t forget your four-leaf clover or your lucky rabbit’s foot.
Floor 1566 – Another Break…
In this one, my Muse gets so big that she needs to talk to me telepathically. How does this exchange go? Check out this read, and good luck finding my Muse. Did I mention that she’s 100 light years tall now?
Floor 1568 – Monday Mole Day
In this one, I nerd out and discuss Avogadro’s Number, and the wonderful day associated with it. Moles are fun! Moles of all kinds! Whack a mole or use Mario to take out Monty Mole! Go ahead and read this, but don’t forget the chips and guacamole.
Floor 1572 – Odyssey? Yessy!
Another wonderful game has finally come to the Nintendo Switch. In this one, I talk about my purchase of Super Mario Odyssey, a game that could very well be one of the best Mario games of all time. A wonderful song, a vast world full of exploration, and an amazing entry where I discuss all of this. Plus, I use Cappy to have fun with my Muse. A definite must read. And don’t forget to sing along!
Floor 1579 – Friday at Last…
In this entry, the Dark Giant Muse is back? And then she’s gone again thanks to a little…help. Who is the helper this time? I’ll give you a clue. It was not the Master Key this time. Check this one out, and see the exciting finale to the Giant Muse story arc.
Wow! It looks like I had exactly the same number favorites as last time! Maybe I should’ve expanded the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1600th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1600 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this fifteenth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1600th floor.
A little like the 1500th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in a hologram and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1600. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
No! I will not settle for just a hologram. I would like to go to the actual room.
Kyle, I am the size of 10,000 universes. There is no way that you will ever be able to see all of me with just your two eyes!
I don’t care. I want to see you as you are. And besides, I have the One Privilege! Don’t you think that I can manage? To the REAL 1600th story! One Privilege, ENGAGE!
*teleports to the actual 1600th story*
Whoa! Even though I’m right next to her bed, I am many light years away from her!
Kyle, I warned you. My size is far beyond what you are able to see. I can see you, but you can’t see me…
Oh, I can see you just fine! All of you, actually…And don’t you have something that belongs to me?
Don’t worry. They’re just an enhanced Master’s Privileges. You still have your One Privilege. And wow. It’s amazing that you can see me.
It’s kind of neat. Imagine binoculars that are able to span over 10,000 universes. That is my range of vision right now. You are quite enormous, and I’ll leave you to your rest now.
Thank you…
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1500th floor, the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 54 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1600th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1500, she’s right! The entire entry is typed (although it’s giant sized in this world…! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1400 and a nearly identical post from Day 1300. I don’t know about you, but with it being Wednesday, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1400th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1400th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the thirteenth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1400th” to “1500th” and “twelfth” to “thirteenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 400 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1400th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 500 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1400? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1400. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1500! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a hi-tech skyscraper that someone from Coruscant would live in. An ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building designed all hi-tech,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1401st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1401st floor.
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “The Last Muse Jedi” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1500 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1412 – Saturday GoodNES…
While the typical “NES” entries indicates hanging out with my friend, this isn’t why I chose this one. My Muse has her first encounter with the Dark Muse. It’s a lightsaber fight that you don’t want to miss. Who will win? Why is the Dark Muse an adult? Read this one, and may the force be with you…
Floor 1427 – Sunny Sunday
With my Muse now a powerful Jedi, the plot thickens. What is my Muse going to do now? What’s going on with the First Order? More plot, there is! Read this one, you must!
Floor 1434 – Hot Day…
With my Muse already being a powerful Jedi, that is not enough for her. She uses her Intangible abilities to push her Midi-chlorian count beyond her maximum number. Is she going too far? What’s going to happen next? Read this one, and beware of the dark side!
Floor 1439 – …
This is quite possibly the only time that you’ll ever see an entry without a title. Yes. There is just an ellipsis. That is no mistake. And the frustration can be summed up in just two words. What are those words? Read it and find out. Unless you already did. It’s that short.
Floor 1440 – Dinner With the Family
Besides the Father’s Day dinner that I had at my grandparents, I find out something important about my Muse. Did she really? What am I talking about? I will say no more. Just read this one, and see how the wonderful story unfolds.
Floor 1446– Friday Flood
If there was anything that could be ranked as the most historic event of the summer, this tops the list. No one saw it coming and it devastated the whole area. Non stop rain and rising water levels causing the river to crest, devastating a good portion of Midland. This affected the area for several days, and will certainly go down as the flood that no one in Midland will forget. I certainly won’t forget it and neither will you when you read this. Read it, and remember the flood. The Summer Flood of 2017.
Floor 1455 – That was Just a Dream
Besides a blatant reference to R.E.M., this post is not about that song (Losing my Religion). How does a writer write himself out of a corner? It’s just a dream! How is that device applied here? Read this one and find out. Before you wake up. After all, this is a dream…or is it?
Floor 1461 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake!
Just a refreshing trip up to the lake. One complete with a stirfry dinner and s’mores! What can be better? You reading this entry, of course! Read this one and grab a marshmallow. There are plenty of s’mores to go around…
Floor 1462– Four Years and Counting
Can you believe that I have been keeping this project going for more than four years now? Neither can I. This special tribute recounts the past year of entries in poetic fashion. Read this one, and answer this question. Have you read any of those past entries? Here’s to the fourth year of Me & My Muse. And Year Five is underway.
Floor 1468 – Sunny Saturday
Besides the nice Saturday, I get an interruption that shakes my world. My Muse is captured? What happened to her turning to the dark side? What’s going on? Can she be rescued in time? Just read the entry. The plot thickens…
Floor 1471 – Toasty Tuesday
In this one, it looks like I’m seeing a ghost. Was I too late in saving my Muse? How will things go with her in the afterlife? The Jedi saga continues. Read this, and keep your lightsaber handy, just in case.
Floor 1475 – A New Hope…
In this one, the saga continues. Muse is locked in an epic lightsaber battle against the Sith Muse. Who will win? What happens next? This one is epic in every sense. Read it and get blown away. The plot gets really heavy, but good here.
Floor 1478 – 60 Years…
In this one, I celebrate the 60th Anniversary of my home club: Midland Toastmasters. That’s about it. It’s still worth a read if you want to know the significance.
Floor 1481 – A Fantastic Finish
It’s time to take the Galactic Empire down! In this one, the plan is executed. Bases get destroyed and the Empire is torn apart. Victory is within the Resistance’s grasp. Are you excited? I am. Read this, and detonate that clone trooper base on my command, okay?
Floor 1483 – More Solitude
In this entry, we tear down the last vestiges of the Empire. A man(I mean, woman)hunt is out for the Sith Muse, and my Muse is hot on her trail. But will the Sith Muse admit defeat so easily? Are there any cards left for anyone to play? This is it, folks. Read this, and enjoy the wonderful finale to the Jedi saga story arc.
Wow! It looks like I had a little less favorites than what I thought. I included a little less than last time! Maybe I should’ve expanded the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1500th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1500 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this fifteenth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1500th floor.
A little like the 1400th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her Jedi form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1500. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 80 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1500th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1400, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1300 and a nearly identical post from Day 1200. I don’t know about you, but with it being Monday, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1300th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1300th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the twelfth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1300th” to “1400th” and “eleventh” to “twelfth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 300 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1300th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 400 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1300? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1300. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1400! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a lavishly decorated castle that Cinderella would live in. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building designed like a castle,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1301st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1301st floor.
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Princess Muse” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1400 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1313 – Knight in Shining Armor
This is what you would expect from a typical fantasy. The knight saves the damsel in distress and the kingdom is saved. But there’s a twist to this one. Read it and find out.
Floor 1314 – Sleeping Beauty
The princess theme continues with another classic. My Muse is in a deep slumber and unable to awaken. How do I awaken her? Go ahead and read it. Just don’t let it put you to sleep. Still awake? Good.
Floor 1315 – Bad Hair Day
In this particular one, my Muse’s hair grows out of control. With so much hair, how can we tame it? And where are we going to get all the shampoo to wash it? Things get quite hairy in this one, so read with care. and bring plenty of conditioner. Watch out for the tangles!
Floor 1321 – A Little Problem…
Since when did the royal castle have a child as the princess of the kingdom? In this one, I find out that my Muse is now a five-year old. Who has bewitched her with this fountain of youth? How will anyone take her seriously if she looks like a little girl? Read this one, and remember. She is still an adult on the inside. Don’t intimidate her!
Floor 1334 – Time to Switch
Now this is history in the making. Well, maybe. In this wonderful entry, I finally acquire the Nintendo Switch, a video game console that is already taking the world by storm. Read this one, enjoy the wonderful wittiness and…SWITCH! Look for the twist. Read it and consider buying your very own Nintendo Switch.
Floor 1337– So 1337…
This entry is made of win. It’s a display of total epic sauce and pure pwnage. Not familiar with the significance of leet? If so, then you’re made of phail. Those who know 1337 are made of win. They are teh pure pwnage. Want to be the super ultra epic sauce of pure pwnage? Read this entry then. Skip it and you’re made of phail sauce. Don’t be teh suxxorz. Read it and embrace teh 1337ness!
Floor 1342 – Happy Birthday, dad!
While this one covers my dad’s birthday a little bit, I actually chose this one for a different reason. My Muse, who is still trapped in the body of a five-year old wanted to talk to me. What did she talk with me about? The plot thickens. Read this one and you will find out.
Floor 1347 – Friday Eve
In this one, things get worse with my Muse. How do they get worse? I’m sorry. You will just have to read and find out for yourself.
Floor 1349– SaturNESday?
In this one, the plot thickens. My Muse gets a promotion. She is now queen? And who is this Dolores? All will be revealed, so read this one and find out.
Floor 1355 – Ah, Friday…
Happy endings are the staple in every fairy tale. In this particular entry, we see the conclusion to the spellbound Muse saga. How does the ending turn out? I am not going to spoil that. Read this one, and watch out for witches!
Floor 1359 – Cheesy Bacon Hot Dogs and Chili
With such a title like that, it really gets my mouth watering. In this one, I play the cook, and prepare a nice dinner for my family. Cheesy bacon hot dogs are good, and you should definitely try them. Try this entry. Read it, and enjoy the bacony crunch. Or enjoy it with some real bacon.
Floor 1365 – A Day of Boredom…
I basically talk about how my friend can’t come over, due to a cold. But something different is going on with my Muse. She now has the nickname “Muserella”. Are we doing fairy tales again? Does she have wicked stepsisters now now? Read this one, and know that all your dreams will come true.
Floor 1372 – Conceal, Don’t Feel
Need I say more? In this rather chilly one, my Muse is frustrated with her new ice powers. Do you want to build a snowman? She can can do this with no problem! Don’t let this go. Bundle up and read this chiller. Afterall, the cold never bothered me anyway.
Floor 1373 – Beauty and the Beast
Contrary to the popular remake that’s out right now, I have had this planned before I even knew about that movie. With a slight twist from the original story, a mysterious beast is in the castle. It attacks me and it protects her. How do I stop it? Do I kill the beast? Read this tale that’s as old as time. Hurry, before the last rose petal falls!
Floor 1375 – It’s Dangerous to Go Alone! Take this!
In this one, I acquire my epic strategy guide for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. But it’s much more than a strategy guide. It’s bigger than the other ones. It’s a super-strategy guide. A strategy guide on steroids. It would eat other strategy guides for breakfast. Don’t believe me? Read it, and glance at the picture. This is no ordinary adventure, so heed the wisdom of the Old Man from the original Legend of Zelda: It’s Dangerous to Go Alone! Take this! Or in this case, “It’s Dangerous to Go Alone! Read this!”
Floor 1379 – More MonNES…
Wait a second! We’re not done? I thought we were! She’s back? Yes she is. In this one, the unexpected happens. Who came back? Why am I so excited about this? Read this one, and all will be revealed.
Floor 1384 – Saturday Solitude
It all ends right here. For real this time. Sometimes, fairy tales have plot twists, and there were plenty during this 100 day run. How does the story conclude? Grab some popcorn, and read this exciting conclusion.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1400th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1400 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this fourteenth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1400th floor.
A little like the 1300th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her princess form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1400. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 56 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1400th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1300, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1200 and a nearly identical post from Day 1100. I don’t know about you, but with it being winter, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1200th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1200th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the eleventh time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1200th” to “1300th” and “tenth” to “eleventh” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 300 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1200th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 300 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1200? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1200. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1300! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before, only the greenery was moist with melted snow. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a vastly oversized pink police box, better know to her as the TARDIS. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building designed like a TARDIS,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1201st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1201st floor.
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Muse Who?” floor. This floor is not one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1300 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1201 – Muse Who?
The Muse of Mystery is back. What better way to honor her but to provide her own story arc? This is not The Doctor we’re talking, but The Muse. A female Doctor with a little bit of River Song thrown in there. Doctor Who fans, rejoice! And if you’re not a fan of the show, this is still a good one to read. Grab your sonic screwdriver, your psychic paper, and enjoy this read.
Floor 1210 – Restful Sunday
The plot thickens. I learn more about my Muse’s new form and how she became the Muse of Mystery. How did this happen? It gets interesting. Read and find out.
Floor 1215 – The November Respite Begins…
In this one, I discover one of my Muse’s new quirks. Why does she always hurry to the bathroom? And trouble’s starting to brew in the sky. Be on your watch, and enjoy this read.
Floor 1217 – Falling Back – Part II
This has nothing to do with Daylight Savings Time ending, but everything to do with the plot. The Dark Muse is revealed as a character that reminds me of Missy (AKA The Master). On a ship full of Daleks, how do I escape? Read this, OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED! Ignore that Dalek. Go ahead and read it, if you dare.
Floor 1220 – It’s Time to Make America Great Again!
The 2016 Presidential Election was quite the memorable one. Whether your candidate won or lost, one this is for sure. Trump won, and things are going to be a little different now. Interested? Check out this read. Or if you’re a Democrat, avoid it at all costs.
Floor 1229– Freaky Friday
In this one, a new epidemic has emerged. People around the world are mysteriously transforming into babies. Why is this happening? What mother is going to take care of them all? Read this, but at a distance. You could be next.
Floor 1233 – Saying Goodbye
Farewells are so hard for me. Especially when it’s a co-worker that I’ve worked with for so long. Having seen him go from assistant manager to general manager, I knew the store was in good hands. But when I heard of his planned departure, I was floored. This read is dear to me, as this person will be missed. Have you ever said goodbye to a co-worker before? This read is for you.
Floor 1241 – Smart Phone and a New Computer!
Well, it finally happened. I never thought that I would see this day, but it just happened. I got a smartphone, and to make things even better, I got my new laptop on the same day. This read pretty much covers these things and my excitement about them. Christmas is here early. Unwrap this read and enjoy it.
Floor 1243– They Grow Up So Fast
Who am I talking about? In this one, the Baby Epidemic is finally brought under control. How was this resolved? Read it and find out.
Floor 1256 – The Mission Begins Tonight…
In this one, I talk about my excitement in seeing Rouge One: A Star Wars Story. Are you ready for the mission? Here are your orders. Read this entry. That is all.
Floor 1286 – Sweet Saturday
While my Saturday may have been sweet, the war going on in the sky wasn’t. War ships from all over the universe were zeroing in on earth with one goal: Obtain my One Privilege at all costs. Do they succeed? Is there any bloodshed? Read on. This might get dangerous.
Floor 1287 – Making the Switch
Have I succeeded in making a light switch? Don’t be silly. No. What I am referring to in this one is my latest acquisition. I pre-ordered a Nintendo Switch: Nintendo’s newest console. Will you make the switch? Good luck finding one, but read this anyway.
Floor 1291 – Frithursday
Have you ever had a work week end on a Thursday? That explains the title. Furthermore, this is the finale of the Time Lady Muse saga. It’s a wonderful conclusion to a wonderful tribute. Read, and see how it all ends.
Floor 1292 – President Donald Trump
Like it or not, we have a new president in office. If you’re put off by the title, just remember how others felt and how you felt eight years ago. To be straightforward, I pretty much share my excitement for the president-elect being sworn in as president. If this doesn’t pique your interest, the protesters are over there. But if you are interested, it’s definitely worth reading. It’s the culmination of one of the most historic elections in history. Let’s make America great again.
Floor 1295 – Slow Monday
Wait a second! She’s back? Yes she is. In this one, the unexpected happens. Who came back? Why am I so excited about this? Read this one, and all will be revealed.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little less than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1300th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1300 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this thirteenth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1300th floor.
A little like the 1200th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1200th story, 1100th story, 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in time lady form and…I felt for a pulse. Two hearts. Yup. She’s still a Gallifreyan…There was a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1300. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 33 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1300th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1200, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an nearly identical post from Day 1100. I don’t know about you, but with it being just 11 days before Halloween, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1100th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1100th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the tenth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1100th” to “1200th” and “ninth” to “tenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
Speaking of absences, it just occurred to me. My Muse is a baby. How is she going to construct a Tower of Muses by herself? (Easy! Just look at the title of the post! Oh! You haven’t read it yet? That’s right! You’re in the story so you can’t read it yet…Anyway, back to the action…) Will there even be a Tower of Muses? I don’t know if there will be…
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I added some other information regarding the Muse being a baby and included a note to the reader to reread the 1100th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first three paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1100? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here (Well, she’s a baby so her parents are probably taking care of her…) and approaching the tower, if there is one this time (Yes! There WILL be a tower, and it is different from the one that you saw in Day 1100. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!). Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. On the other hand, it just might not be there. The only tower that my Muse can construct right now would be made of building blocks. If there is a tower, the tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1200! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before, only the greenery was covered in leaves. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a…rather tall structure that sat far in the distance? Wait! Who constructed the tower? My Muse could not have done it all by herself! (Don’t worry about who built it! That will be explained soon! Trust me…) I’m sure that someone did it. Anyway…A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a colorful office building – for kids. Babies in particular. The soft pinks and other colors ran up and down the crayon-adorned structure. The lego-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh my! The designer had a lot of help with this! What baby could design this giant toy tower without help?)
“A colorful office building,” I said to myself. “Did somebody help my Muse build this? How cute!”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1101st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1101st floor.
Approaching a colorful service desk, I saw…a clone of myself sitting there? Oh! That’s right! My Muse was a baby! Still dealing with the weirdness, I noticed that he wasn’t typing. In fact, he looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw him typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” he announced. “You are on the “One Man and a Baby” floor. This floor is not one of my favorites, since I have to take care of my Muse for the next 99 days!”
I cleverly smiled at my clone. “So, there’s no Muse secretary this time?”
My clone bashfully grinned. “Very funny. Would you like a Muse secretary? I can get her. She’s only 5 months old and still wearing diapers.”
I laughed and looked at my clone again. “Okay. I get it!”
“Wait…” My clone quickly responded. “I can’t get her for you. I suddenly remembered. She’s taking a nap right now.”
I scratched my head and frowned. “You don’t have to take care of my Muse for 99 more days. Eventually, you’ll get Remedy and Nurture…”
My clone nodded impatiently. “Yeah. I know what happens. I’ve seen every floor. But remember. Time doesn’t change on any of these floors. For me, it’s still 99 more days. Okay?”
I nodded, and sighed. “Is she up there? Did she thrive?”
My clone nodded. “Your Muse? I don’t know if she thrived or not, but she’s definitely up there! She’s taking her nap…”
I then looked at the elevators that were past his desk. “I would like to go to floor 1200 now.”
At this, my clone smiled. “Go ahead. I’ve seen them all. Raising her for 100 days was a whole ordeal. There are so many bad floors that it’s just not worth it. The newborn floors, all of the terrible two floors, and don’t get me started on her becoming all-powerful and redesigning our entire universe. I left those floors quickly and…just get to the top.”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1102 – The Terrible Twos
This one is iconic. What happens when my Muse becomes a two-year old terror? Let me answer that. Bad things happen. This is her debut as a toddler and it doesn’t get any prettier from here. Read this, and put the little one to bed for me, okay? And don’t forget the diapers.
Floor 1105 – Quiet Time
If you have gotten this far, you know that I am already tired of raising my Muse. In this one, help comes along. The father takes the Muse child off my hands and I can now rest. Read this and you’ll agree. Babysitters are awesome.
Floor 1106 – NESday is Over…
With my Muse being a baby again, this gets attention of the mother, who quickly comes to her aid. This strange story arc gets stranger. A second lifecycle? Rebirth? Read it and believe it. Intangibles can be pretty interesting from what I’m told…
Floor 1108– Ideationesday
In this one, the parents are trying to figure out my Muse’s abnormal aging patterns. She ages like a rubber band. Infant, toddler and newborn. It’s randomly older or younger. This makes clothing a major problem. What’s an Intangible parent to do? Fortunately, all you have to do is one thing. Read this, and learn with them.
Floor 1112 – Another “Twos”day…
Oh no. My Muse is two again. And with this happening, the parents are not ready to be parents again. Oh, and the Dark Muse is back. Great. Read this to me! Tee hee! Here we go again…
Floor 1113 – Monday Movie…
In this one, the Dark Muse has already began her destruction inside my Muse. What could possibly go wrong? Read this, and beware. There are lot of “tee hee”s in this entry. You have been warned.
Floor 1120 – August Rotation
Have you figured out the pattern of when my Muse turns two? When you mix the Dark Muse with the Terrible Twos, you get a complete disaster. And yeah. The storm has just begun. Read this, and get me the bravest babysitter you can. May I suggest the One Privilege? It will come in handy. Trust me.
Floor 1124 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake!
Yup. She’s still two and I can’t even get a vacation from her! In spending my vacation at the lake, it is interrupted by Little Miss Sunshine. Can I go back to the lake? You have your parents, right? Read this, and see how a 25 month old Intangible can be annoying. For the best vacation, leave the kids at home with a babysitter. Especially if they’re Muses.
Floor 1125 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake! Part Two
This one pretty much continues from yesterday, only worse. She’s almost three and still a nightmare. It’s my second day at the lake, and this time, she decides to pay a visit by becoming a giant and draining the entire lake. Read this and watch the nightmare continue. Where did she get all this power? I guess that three-year old Muses can be just as bad.
Floor 1131 – Happy Birthday!
Do I really have to raise a baby Muse on my birthday? Yes I do, but surprisingly, it goes better than I thought. Read this and help yourself to the cake. It is not a lie.
Floor 1142 – Special Toastmasters Tuesday
Wait a second! My Muse is an adult again? What’s going on? I don’t know. You better read this and find out! Sorry. I couldn’t resist…
Floor 1143 – I Hate Wednesdays
This could quite possibly be the shortest entry that I ever left. This description is longer than the post itself. Somebody call Guinness. We have a record. Read it…Oh. You already did? Okay.
Floor 1145 – Unfixable
A blatant lie, but I was having a bad week. This day took the cake. What can fix this day? Nothing. But fortunately, that day is over, and this is the record of it. Read it. It’s another short one.
Floor 1152 – Green Haircut Pay Day
In this one, it’s Deja Vu all over again. Don’t know what I’m talking about? You haven’t read the other one, have you? My Muse is two again and she’s larger than life. And with her getting more and more powerful, she’s harder…to…control…ugh!!! Can I best a giant toddler? Check out this exciting read and grab some animal crackers. She just LOVES them!
Floor 1153 – The Countdown Begins…
Something feels off with this one, as I can’t control my Muse anymore. And when she’s 12 months old, this can be a bad thing. I am not a toy, but she thinks I am. This one’s rough…for me. Read it and see. The ending is pretty humiliating!
Floor 1155 – Movie and a Sushi
An forgettable night of catching a flick and eating sushi and I have to babysit? No way. In this one, I get my clone involved. Taking care of my Muse turns into a game of hide and seek when I can no longer care for her. Where is that One Privilege? Does she have it? Oh no. Read this and HIDE. A floating toddler can be dangerous. Especially when she’s taller than the Chrysler Building.
Floor 1161 – A Day That I Still Never Forget
My annual 9/11 entry, only a little different. Besides that, it’s pretty much the same. Read it, and see if you can spot the differences.
Floor 1162 – GoodNES MonNES…
With my Muse being so powerful now, things start going out of control. Power incontinence happens and she starts growing out of control. Will the universe be safe? I hope so. Read this and find out.
Floor 1163 – Baby Universe
In this one, I observe a new universe. A universe without adults. I was the only one left. Don’t believe me? This actually happened. Read, and see the horror that you missed out on.
Floor 1165 – No Toastmasters?
In this one, I begin to grasp the reality of a world made in my Muse’s image. No adults. And that means No Toastmasters. This is the horrible world you missed. Read it, and be glad that you weren’t here to experience it. Oh, and I get some much needed help in this one. That was quite a relief for me.
Floor 1167 – Entering My Muse
The plot thickens. I finally enter my Muse and have a reunion with someone I haven’t seen in a while. This is getting good. Stop reading this description and read this entry. It’s a really good one. Trust me.
Floor 1170 – Back to Normal
The title is self explanatory. In a cataclysmic explosion, everything is back to normal, and my Muse is her sweet little self…for now. Will she be an adult in a month? If she’s raised right, there’s a good chance that this will happen. This is the dramatic conclusion to the Dark Baby Muse saga and is definitely worth a read or two.
Floor 1172 – Area Speech Contest
Surprisingly, why I picked this one has nothing to do with the title. With my Muse in the midst of being toilet trained, “no” becomes her favorite word. And you can all guess what happens from here. So read this one, and PLEASE don’t say no.
Floor 1181 – Catch-up Day
Why this one? It’s not so much the catching up, but taking the “exciting” tour with Nurture of all the different closets of clothes that she has for Muse. When an Intangible baby changes its age every day, you need to be prepared. And from what I saw here, I was really impressed. And you will be too. Moms and dads, take notes. And even if you’re not a parent, have a read and check this out.
Floor 1185 – Mountain of Boxes
For once, I chose this one from the title. There’s a good story here and you should read it. Have you ever been in a work situation that involved profound change? This is a learning experience that I want all of you to benefit from. Read it and see for yourself.
Floor 1197B – Cavern of Coins II – SUCCESS!!!!
In this one, we revisit the fun little tour of Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker’s Mummy-Me Maze Forever. What is this success all about? Maybe you would like to read this entry. The tour comes complete with your own headlamp and pickaxe. It’s fun for the whole family. Just beware of the mummies.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1200th floor…
My clone, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“You’re still here, huh?” he told me. “It’s amazing how much you know about those floors! Especially since you haven’t even visited them…I visited all of them!”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told him. “I lived them!”
To that, he responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1200 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this twelfth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1200th floor. My Muse would surely be up there, but did she thrive? This is the crucial difference between her becoming an adult and her remaining a baby forever. Having seen her yesterday, there’s no telling. She was brand new. Less than a day old. If she was up here, she would be laying on her bed, taking her nap. Oh, I surely hope that Nurture toilet trained her…
A little like the 1100th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed with removable fencing sat in the other. Pretty much the same room as the 1100th story, the 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was…how is she today? My Muse is…36 months old today. 3 years old exactly. She is 33 inches tall and she weighs 27 pounds. The height of a 21 month old and the weight of a 2 year old. Was she toilet trained? I surely hope that she was…
My heart sank when I saw what was at the foot of her bed. Right there sat an open sack of Size 5 diapers. I’m guessing that this was gotten into today, considering how many were already used. Did she even use the toilet today? Did she give up? I don’t want her to be a baby forever! I really don’t…
Where is the note? It’s not attached to her this time. I’m guessing that they had to do something else, since she’s so little. Oh. There it is! Next to the sack of diapers, there was a note attached to the foot of the bed. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower with the help of whoever helped her probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to the foot of the bed was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower with my daddy for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1200. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude. Don’t get mad at me. I tried using the potty every time that I had to go potty like a big girl. I tried but I keep not making it! I told mommy every time and I stopped going every time we got to the potty. Mommy says that I’m doing a good job but I don’t think I am. Big girls can use the potty. Mommy says that I am a big girl because I’m trying. I disagree with mommy. Big girls don’t wear diapers! Don’t be mad. I’m still a baby. I will try to use the potty again when I wake up from my nap. I want to be a big girl and wear underwears like mommy.
I’m getting tired, so my daddy is going to finish this big building. Time for nap time!
Love you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots,
Your Muse
P.S. What Muse said about her potty training struggle is correct. We tried to have her use the potty every time, and she was very eager to do so. But every time we finally got there, she had already finished going.
Remedy’s right. After every time we got to the potty, her diaper was wet when I changed her. She’s got the determination, but we ran out of time. I don’t count nap times since it’s much easier to do it when she’s awake. But that’s besides the point. We failed. Remedy thinks that she will be an adult anyway, but I think he’s wrong. I’ve resigned to the fact that I will probably have to raise her forever…
And that’s where you’re wrong, my dear. Muse only needs the idea and the desire. She understands how to go, but her body isn’t prepared for that yet. This will come with time, and her bladder should be strong enough as an adult. Well, she already left the room. Just know that your Muse has succeeded. When have I ever been wrong? Just let time resolve itself and we’ll see what happens tomorrow.
I’ll see you in the morning! Thank you for helping raise Muse with us.
Remedy & Nurture
Nice note. My Muse’s was very cute. As for Remedy’s and Nurture’s, I don’t know which one is right. Will she mature into an adult or remain a baby forever? There’s no telling what’s going to happen. Only time will tell…
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 57 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1200th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1100, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1000 and a nearly identical post from Day 900. I don’t know about you, but with it being summer, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but I’m back from post 900! With 1000, we wanted to ensure that the entry was special, and it was. With that all over, you will get more of the same. It is the very same me from the 900th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 900th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the ninth time in a row? This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Well, okay. There was also entry 1000, which was amazing by the way. Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did add a little extra content and change “1000th” to “1100th” and “tenth” to “eleventh” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
Speaking of absences, I must accept that she’s gone. If you read yesterday’s entry, she’s now dead. I don’t know why this had to happen, but I have to accept the reality. If I were to guess, she made this tower right before she died, with the last bit of energy that she had. Why did she have to go?
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 200 days ago. (Not quite. I added some other information regarding his Muse’s death and included a note to the reader to reread the 900th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 200 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 900? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here (Well, she died yesterday so it would be a different reason now…) and approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1000. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!). Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1100! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red poinsettias. A sea of color. And with it being light out, everything was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Well, of course it was! Day 1000 was 100 days ago, with a tower in a field outside a city. My, was that epic!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1001st floor! Also, I’m the only receptionist here. All the other receptionists went back to their towers. Tee hee…”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1001st floor.
Approaching a white colored service desk, I saw a similar Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “ExperiMENTAL 2.0” floor. This floor is not one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…Tee hee!”
I nodded, and sighed. “Is she up there?”
My Muse nodded. “Your Muse? I think she’s dead, but she’s up there! Tee hee…”
I then looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1100 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1001 – ExperiMENTAL 2.0
This one was included purely for nostalgic reasons. Remember the first ever Me & My Muse that I ever written? This is a nice tribute to that, complete with the annoying Muse that we saw in day one.
Floor 1002 – Advancing to Boardwalk – 2016 Edition
Yes, I talk about the Monopoly at McDonald’s contest, but that’s not the reason that I included it. With a fashion crazed Muse, she will stop at nothing to make sure that my fashion is up to snuff. Read this, but make sure that your clothes are up to date.
Floor 1006 – Taxed to the Limit – 2016 Edition
Forget taxes when you have what I think is the very best waitress that I ever had. A fictional one, yes. But this one has worked hard to make for a very good read. Read this, but don’t forget to tip her! She has totally earned it.
Floor 1010– A Forum
When you have a conversation with an elvish Muse, things get quite interesting. Read it and see for yourself. As for the end, you might want to bring an interpreter who knows the elvish tongues of yore.
Floor 1013B – 1014 – From Superstition to Sweet Sixteen; Sunday Scorcher
With my Muse having so many transformations this 100 day cycle, I get curious about when this happens. For the following day, I face a teen with attitude. Go ahead and read. The worst that you’ll experience is her mood.
Floor 1018 – Not so Lazy Day
You might remember this from my first ever 100 day cycle. Laziness abounds. Lots of…laziness. Hurry and read this…before…forget it. I’m too lazy to finish this summ
Floor 1025 – Got it Maid
This one is on par with the waitress Muse. Quite possibly the best maid that you’ll ever see. She’ll wait on you hand and foot, and she’ll guarantee you a good read. Read it, because she’s definitely worth it.
Floor 1027 – SaturNESday?
A very short one. Definitely worth it. See for yourself.
Floor 1028 – Serene Sunday
How many forms will my Muse transform into? On this odd day, my Muse transforms into several forms, and that’s just in one minute! If you have ADD or just love channel surfing, this one is definitely up your alley. Read this, because variety is the spice of life.
Floor 1030 – Closing the Sale
It’s not so much the title here. My Muse, who is only a tween feels estranged from the time period she was in. Nostalgia abounds. Take a step back in time and enjoy this read.
Floor 1041 – Greetings From Battle Creek!
Why did I include this? For one thing, I make a correction to the robo-Muse that about to continue its state for the second day in a row. Then things get old, fast. Just read the newfangled entry and get off my lawn, you whippersnapper!
Floor 1045 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath
It’s not the pioneer Muse, but the wonderful recap of the Toastmasters spring conference that I attended. A wonderful hotel with a wonderful room. The food was amazing. This place was on fire…but not literally. Read it and be amazed.
Floor 1049 – Muse of Mystery
Who is this enigmatic Muse of Mystery? Notes of her origin can be traced back to various important events in history. While her real name is unknown, she goes by “The Muse”. She travels through time in a pink phone booth and works alone. When I think of her race, I can only think of…SPOILERS! Sorry. I cannot say anymore. But if curiosity gets the best of you, go ahead and read this one. There’s so much epicness here that you just might need a doctor. Doctor who? I don’t really know for sure, but if you desire to learn more about this mysterious Muse, go ahead and read it. It’s bigger on the inside.
Floor 1055 – Like a Child
Children have wonderful imaginations. But can we harness that for our own benefit? In this entry, I discuss this subject for a little bit. I am also greeted by my Muse, but she’s a third grader. Read this one, and embrace your inner child.
Floor 1056 – Plant vs. Muse
Guess what game I’m referencing with this one? If you’re in the dark, just look it up. I discuss zombies being poor at thinking and get attacked by a Muse zombie. Read this one and grab a pea shooter, just to be safe…They’re coming!
Floor 1062 – Larger than Life
If you remember “Grow Up“, “Growing Pains“, and “Growth Spurt“, it’s kind of like that, only this version features a Muse that is much more mature and grown up. She just keeps growing…and growing…and growing. Read this entry before she crushes it.
Floor 1063 – Sunday Short
While this entry was intended to be short, that pretty much went up in flames. This entry is an inferno. A fire that can’t be tamed. What’s with all the fiery references? Proceed through the embers and find out. And do be careful. This one’s hot!
Floor 1065 – A Golden Opportunity
Is there ever such a thing as too much gold? There is, when you have a solid gold Muse that turns things to gold with everything she touches. Midas has nothing on this priceless trinket. Go ahead and read this. It’s pure gold…literally. 24 karats of goodness.
Floor 1068 – Having a Ball
For not being a fan of this series, I think that I did a pretty decent job with this one. What ball do I have? A pokéball, of course! And what pokémon is my Muse? Now that would be spoiling the fun if I told you. Now if you want to be the very best, like no one ever was, gather your supplies and catch this entry while you can. Gotta read them all! Gotta read them all! Musémon!
Floor 1071 – Merry MonNESday
What do you get when your Muse is a seeress? I predict that you will find this one interesting IF you read it. Some surprises await in the future…
Floor 1072 – Keep it Simple, Stupid
Because there’s nothing simpler than someone who’s an idiot. This happens to be my Muse, who’s dumber than a sack of potatoes. This thing is really good, so…duh…read it, okay George?
Floor 1075 – A Dream Come True
Unable to truly awaken, my Muse is in a perpetual state of dreaming. Every one of her dreams becomes real, so beware. For all I know, she could still be dreaming right now. Go ahead and read this, and if anything looks surreal around you, you now know why. We are in her dream…
Floor 1084 – Baby Steps
Why did I choose this one? It’s not about the thoughtful piece regarding our careful pacing in trying something new. It’s about that cute little ball of sunshine that I had the misfortune of having to tend to. She’s a handful, but she’s cute, and she’ll surely win your heart. Go on and read this quickly. She’s crawling on my leg…
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1100th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1100 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this eleventh milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1100th floor. Was my Muse still alive? Having seen her yesterday, that was totally out of the question. If she was up here, she would be laying dead on her bed. Oh, I’m afraid to see what lies ahead…
A little like the 1000th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her normal form and…I felt for a pulse. A heartbeat…and I heard her calmly breathing, fast asleep. She’s alive!
Being shocked beyond belief, I thought that I lost her. But there she was, alive and well, resting on her king-sized bed.
There was a note attached to her. It surprised me that she was sleeping, considering that I thought that I lost her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1100. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 92 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1100th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1000, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How thoughtful. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Let’s try this out. If this doesn’t work, you will never see one of these again. And by these, I mean a post commemorating a millennial milestone.
In a way, I actually am telling the truth. There is only one 1,000. And there won’t be another milestone like this until 10,000.
And…let’s see. How did I ever start one of these in the first place? How about this?
Creativity. It is the driving force in the realm of imagination. Concepts are snowballed together and tightly packed together. The best ideas are used and seen by all. They are masterpieces in art galleries. They are TV shows, movies, music, novels and every form of expression you can think of.
These savory ideas are the gadgets that we use in our everyday lives. They are the cellphones that we use to communicate with our family and friends. They are the summer blockbusters that we see in the movie theaters. They are the best-selling novels that we read while we contently bask in the sun at the beach on a hot summer day. Whether that novel is it’s original paper form or on a tablet, it all started with one idea.
The things we use. The clothes we wear. The packaged food that we…
Muse: Kyle! Come on! Am I really seeing this?
Seeing what? What are you talking about?
Muse: I can not believe it. Seriously! This is entry 1000. Why would you try to recycle your very first post?
Why not? Recycling it for this occasion is an excellent idea. After all, it’s ExperiMENTAL!
Muse: I see what you did there. Tee hee…
Is that all you got?
Muse: What do you mean?
The way that you said “Tee hee”. You didn’t sound very excited.
Muse: What else would I do? It was a really lame pun.
Don’t worry. I have worse…
Muse: Please spare me the worse ones! For my sake and the audience…
Speaking of the audience, do we even have one?
Muse: Absolutely! You’ve seen the occasional activity on your Facebook, haven’t you? “The Walker Estate has 1 new view”.
I saw that. Your views do not count.
Muse: Ha ha! Nice try. Now before we bore our audience to sleep, why don’t you come with me? I have something to show you…It’s actually kind of exciting…Tee hee!
There! You said it, and you meant it this time.
Muse: *gives me a kiss on the cheek* Just follow me. I have something fun to show you!
And just like that, Kyle followed his Muse into his bedroom. Not that I would know where this is going, mind you. But do go on! This is getting to be quite exciting…
Muse: Who said that?
It sounded like that narrator. You know the one…
Muse: Him again? Hurry. Let’s ditch him before he ruins this post. We only get one shot!
And just like that, my Muse held out her right hand, which began to glow with a bright light. With that light, she tossed it at a wall in my room. The light intensified and grew, becoming a flash. This flash nearly blinded my eyes, so I had to look back for a second.
When l looked back again, the flash had faded into a bright glow. A door sat there. A door that looked familiar. A door that sat in the middle of my bedroom, not attached to any wall. A door that begged to be opened.
Excuse me! Who’s trying to tell the story here? Why I like to think that I do a mighty fine job in narrating, thank you very much! What’s wrong with me helping on such a magnificent milestone?
I’m very sorry, Mr. Narrator, but we’re trying to ditch you.
Ditch me? Why would you do such a thing?
Why? You’re a nuisance. We really want this one to be special, so keep your distance.
Keep…My distance? Oh dear. I don’t know what to say! That’s too bad. I know how important this day is to you. I just wanted to be a part of it. Very well, then. I know when I’m not wanted…
Muse: No. You can stay. Just don’t be a nuisance…
Don’t worry about that! I’m master narrator extraordinaire and I know exactly when to step in. Carry on, now.
Now where were we?
Muse: I just created a door in your room. Let’s go through it! Come on!
My Muse grabbed me by the hand and took me through the mysterious door that sat in the middle of my room. Like a familiar door that I have seen before, it was clearly a dimensional portal that was linked to another world. A distant land that I have visited numerous times now.
This door was the same one that you have seen in every one of these milestone posts. So why is my Muse so excited this time? She pulled me through the door and I was amazed.
What I saw in the distance was a glamorous city. As she let me through the city, I noticed something peculiar. This city didn’t have normal residents. It was a city full of Muses. Various different Muses that I have seen in my past entries. Older Muses and younger Muses. Regular Muses and Dark Muses. Muses all living together in a shimmering cosmopolitan city, with skyscrapers all arranged in various designs.
“Oh look!” I shouted. “A city!”
And whizzing right past me was a Muse in some weird steam-powered jetpack. “An invention!” I cried.
My Muse glanced into the sky and saw a jet airliner flying over downtown. “An airplane!” she shouted.
Then we walked by a pond that marked the entrance to a picturesque city park. I saw a pair of koi swimming together. I pointed to one of them. “Look!” I shouted. “A fish!”
As we made our way past the pond, we both heard a scream.
“Watch where you’re going!” a tiny voice shouted.
My Muse gasped, noticing that she almost stepped on a woman who was only three inches tall. “Look Kyle!” she said, smiling. “A borrower!”
We glanced at the sprawling city park. The vast acreage carved out a peaceful haven in the middle of all the hustle and bustle that went on in the busy Muse city. In the center of this park was an oddly shaped castle, that moved around on robotic legs.
Having just noticed the castle, I got my Muse’s attention. “Do you see it?” I asked her. “It’s a castle!”
She nodded. “And it’s moving, too!”
Next to the castle was a building that sat at the eastern edge of the vast city park. It was a building with steam flowing out of it. It looked Japanese and was ornately decorated.
“A bathhouse!” My Muse gasped. Then she gave me a playful nudge and held me close in her arms. “Do you like this city? I made it just for you.”
I nodded. “It’s much different than the vast field that I always see.”
She opened her arm and we held hands, walking toward a small cafe.
A Muse barista with purple glasses stood there, eagerly waiting for business. “May I help you?” she asked, hoping that we would buy something.
My Muse nodded. “Two extra strong espressos, with plenty of creme and make them vanilla.”
The spectacled Muse barista nodded and quickly prepared our drinks.
A smirk came across my face. “Why are we having coffee?” I asked her. “Coffee is NOT for Muses!”
My Muse gave me a slap in the face, and then smiled. “Why not?” she challenged me. “Just because one of your earlier blog titles says so?”
The Muse barista handed her the espresso that she asked for and she began slowly sipping it. “That wasn’t me by the way…”
I recalled the coffee entry that I wrote from a long time ago. “It was the bad idea, right?”
She nodded. “Come. I have more to show you. Don’t forget your coffee!”
I grabbed my cup and followed her through the city.
As we reached the end, the skyscrapers began to diminish and I noticed a field with a looming tower in the distance. The tower sat in the field, outside the city, like a shy outcast. The tower dwarfed the valley and the skyline. It was like the tower was the mother, and the city were the many children that stood there, in the form of numerous shining skyscrapers.
After sipping down half my coffee, I pointed to the tower. “That tower…” I gasped. “That’s the Tower of Muses, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “We’re going there. That’s the last thing that I made, besides the city. I hope you enjoy it.”
As we walked through the field, through the night lit sky, I noticed the field began to glow. Various different flowers flashed their majestic glows as we walked by them. After that, the flowers all lit up in unison and went out in unison. A tidal wave of glowing color crashing against the shore.
And then, I heard it. The ambient music that reflected the majesty of the field. It was like a dream, transposed into musical notes. A symphony conveying the peaceful mood of the evening. The calm tranquil flowers in the lush green field, with the enormous tower watching over them.
We walked forward through the field. The Muse city getting smaller and smaller and the tower getting bigger and bigger. Moments later, we were standing right in front of it.
It was a pure white tower. Whiter than than any white that you have ever seen. Gold spirals were decorated all around it, with a grand turnstile serving as the entrance.
And just like that, Kyle was overcome with ecstasy. He could not contain the level of excitement that he had inside of him. He had so much excitement he could make a whole army of soldiers excited. And before he could even explode with excitement, his Muse took him through the grand turnstile and they both entered…
Nicely timed, narrator! Just chime in like that and you’ll be fine.
Muse: Yes. You can interrupt, but just don’t be too intrusive.
Why thank you! I will make a note of that! And just like that, both Kyle and his Muse both praised the narrator on his perfectly timed narration. But as to not slow the progression of the story any further, the narrator decided to be quiet and allow the two to continue the flow of this wonderful and amazing milestone post.
Well said. After leaving the turnstile with my Muse, I glanced around the lobby and took it all in. It was not like the lobby that I have experienced in the previous nine editions. It was a grand lobby, continuing the pure white theme from outside. Pure white with pure gold outlining the walls and furniture.
There was a sitting area, with a white loveseat and a few white lounge chairs. Each chair was outlined in pure gold with a few chestnut oak coffee tables scattered around.
Just ahead of the sitting area sat the grand reception desk. One large reception desk sat in the center with a ring of nine reception desks encircling it. Each desk was pure white, with solid gold bows lining the sides. And like all the previous editions, each desk was occupied by a busy Muse, hard at work, each making rapid strokes on the keyboard.
Out of curiosity, I called the attention of the receptionists. “Might I ask who’s in charge?”
The one in the center desk responded. “That would be me. Tee hee!”
I glanced at the circle of desks that surrounded hers. “What about the others?”
“They all work for me,” she answered. “Do you want me to introduce you to them?”
“Please do,” I told her.
The Muse receptionist in the center desk got the attention of the other nine Muses. “Workers!” she shouted. “Say your name and title for Kyle please! Tee hee!”
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses!” the first one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Second Ascent!” the second one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Third Ascent!” the third one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fourth Ascent!” the fourth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fifth Ascent!” the fifth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Sixth Ascent!” the sixth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Seventh Ascent!” the seventh one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Eighth Ascent!” the eighth one shouted.
“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Ninth Ascent!” the last one shouted.
My Muse nodded. “All of them are receptionists from all the past towers that I made.”
“That’s right!” The Muse in the center desk shouted. “All of them are here for the big celebration. I asked them to leave their towers and come work for me! Tee hee!”
“What about the Eleventh Ascent?” I asked her.
“They will all be back in their own towers!” she answered. “It will just be her! Tee hee!
Nodding, I glanced at the Tenth Ascent receptionist. “I know this tower has more bells and whistles, but is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her.
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 901st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu from all the previous nine editions of this tower that I have experienced in the past. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
I was about to approach the teleporter, but my Muse thrust her hands against my side. “No! Wait!” she shouted.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
“Let’s take the long scenic route!” she said with a glowing smile.
“Scenic? Tee hee?” the center Muse receptionist said, grinning. “Normally, the elevators here take you up 100 floors. Then you have to go to the next elevators to go up 100 more floors…”
“No!” I shouted. “Don’t you have something more simple?”
“Tee hee!” she sighed. “I wasn’t finished! Now, normally you would have to keep going up 100 floors. But there’s some special elevators in the back that will take you up all the way to the 901st floor! Just enter the floor on the touch screen and it will take you there! It’s the latest! Tee hee!”
“We’ll use those elevators, then.” I told her. “Thanks!”
The center Muse receptionist nodded. “Anytime! Tee hee! Have fun!”
I followed my Muse to the special elevators in the back. They had glass doors and you could see through them.
“You could’ve asked me, and I could’ve told you about the special elevators!” she said, playfully nudging me. “After all, I designed this…Now Kyle, quick!”
I nodded, and approached the elevator panel. The urgency was on her face. She wanted to kiss me. I could tell. But she didn’t want her day one counterparts to hear anything.
I quickly pressed the up button and one of the eight elevators instantly opened. She pressed 10 on the touch screen and then enter. The elevator doors closed and she began to kiss me on the lips incessantly.
“Easy!” I shouted. “There are people watching!”
“I don’t care.” she said, between kisses. “You deserve it. The only one that has ever kissed you was your mother. Don’t you want to be kissed by a woman?”
I nodded. “Yes.” I told her. “A real woman.”
She cupped her hand underneath my chin. “You’re real to me in this world. I made this tower and you made me. Don’t you want to be with me? You need some serious dating practice. What kind of real woman would want to be with you if you’re ill equipped? Practice your affections on me.”
I nodded. “Okay. Kissing only. But the clothes stay on!”
She nodded. “That would be embarrassing, Kyle. I am not going to embarrass you. Although I am a fictional character, I am very modest.”
The elevator floor dinged and it opened.
“Floor 10?” I smiled. “Why do we need to get more coffee? Afterall, Coffee is NOT for Muses!”
She nodded. “But I LOVE coffee! Now, are you going to deny me of my craving for coffee?”
I shook my head. “Very well…let’s make it quick!”
We walked up to a Starbucks cafe and a Muse took her order. She was about to order 2 Venti vanilla cappuccinos, but I stopped her.
“One!” I told her. “I don’t want any coffee this time…”
She shook her head. “If you don’t want yours, I’ll drink it! More for me!”
The Muse barista gave my Muse two Venti vanilla cappuccinos and she began drinking both of them in front of me.
“Okay.” I told her. “That’s enough. Too much and we’ll have to stop at a bathroom…”
She finished both cappuccinos and smiled. She threw both cups away and stared at me with her caffeine induced smile.
“One more!” she shouted. She ordered the same thing as before and drank it in front of me.
“Enough.” I told her. “You are going to pee your pants.”
She shook her head. “A few more…”
“I think you have a problem,” I told her.
She ignored me and drank down three more cups.
After she ordered five more and drank them, I stopped her from ordering anymore. “Stop!” I told her. “You have a serious addiction to coffee!”
“No I don’t!” she shouted. “Don’t you feel it? It’s amazing! It’s exciting! The energy! The thrill! The excitement! The ecstasy! The burst of energy I get from every cup! I love it! It’s great! It’s exciting! It’s grand! It’s awesome! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! I love coffee! I love co…
My Muse collapsed on the ground and began to have an accident. Her accident formed a large puddle all over the ground.
Everyone. I will be right back. I am not going to gross you out with any additional details.
*a few minutes later*
There. I got My Muse into some new clothes but she’s still unconscious. I’ll get her to the elevator. I think that this floor is affecting her in some way…
I carried my Muse in my arms and took her back to the elevator. I pressed the up button and entered the elevator. I then sat my Muse on the floor. I pressed 14 on the touch screen and pressed enter. The elevator door closed and she woke up.
“Kyle?” she gasped. “I’m very sorry. That floor…It had a very weird affect on me…”
“I could tell!” I told her. “When we had coffee in that city, you didn’t act like that at all!”
She nodded. “It was definitely that floor. It was like I was a totally different person. I can’t really explain it. That was so embarrassing…”
The floor dinged and it opened once again. The music from “Resistance” began playing.
While I heard the music playing, I heard another Muse joyfully singing along.
Muse: It could be wrong, could be wrong but it should have been right!
My Muse glanced at me and smiled. “I love that song!” She glanced at the Muse that was still singing the song. “You. Would you like to come with us?”
Muse: Sure! Can I bring my phone with me? There’s only one song on the playlist. “Love is our Resistance!”
Wow. You really love that song! You can come along.
The Muse began playing “Resistance” for a second time and got on the elevator with us.
She then ran up to the touch screen and pressed 78, and then enter.
Being a little hazy on my floors, I tried to think what floor 78 was. I racked my brain all the while the other Muse was singing “Resistance” and dancing to the beat.
My Muse tried to help me out. “Could it be?”
Ding! The elevator door opened and we left it.
How did we get here in the first place? Our brains flipped around. Just like last time, we’ll leave in reverse! I know! How do we leave if everything is backwards?
And everything was backwards since we were on the “Stuck in Reverse” floor. When we tried to leave, we couldn’t, since we came to the realization that everything was backwards. Was it that Muse from the 14th floor? Who pressed that button? I don’t want to be here! This is not the right floor! The Muse from the 14th floor pressed 84 on the touch screen and then enter. Knowing this, me, my Muse and the other Muse re-entered the elevator. The “Stuck in Reverse” floor. We were on the 78th floor. It was just as I feared.
Being once again surprised, the elevator moved upwards. As it moved towards the 84 floor, me and my Muse exchanged glances.
“Why are we going to the 84th floor?” I asked her.
“I know,” she said, smiling. “That’s the ‘Baby Muse’ floor. I don’t really want to deal with a child right now…”
Just as the words left her mouth, the elevator dinged and opened.
The baby Muse, looking shy, walked in bashfully. She sat down, and smiled. “Uh oh!” she shouted.
I glanced down and noticed why she said it. A drop of urine dripped down from under her dress to the floor. Uh oh indeed!
I glanced at my Muse, who shook her head.
“I’m not changing her!” she shouted.
“Don’t worry!” the other Muse shouted. “I will.”
The other Muse stopped her music. “It’s okay.” she told us. “I’m going to be babysitting her. It’s going to be fun!” She removed her clothes and began to change her diaper.
While that was going on, I decided where I wanted to go next. I pressed 182 on the touch screen and pressed enter. The elevator continued moving upward.
Just as the other Muse finished putting on the baby Muse’s diaper, she lept up and began running around. As it was, the other Muse had to pin her to the ground a few times, as she tried to squirm away.
“Wait!” The other Muse shouted. “I need to get your pants on!”
“I fine with this, mommy!” she shouted.
She shook her head. “But you need some pants!”
But she shook her head and laughed. “I fine with this, mommy!”
As that Muse was losing in her efforts to catch the baby Muse, the elevator continued going up.
Ding! Suddenly, the elevator stopped, just as the other Muse caught the baby Muse.
“Gotcha!” she shouted. She put her pants on and then her socks.
I glanced at the floor number. 138B. Wait a second! I didn’t stop the elevator.
Another Muse got on. A much younger one, who looked like she was five.
“Tee hee!” she shouted. I’m back!”
My Muse gasped. “S-stay away from me!”
That’s when I realized that the little girl Muse was the Dark Muse.
“Leave her alone!” I shouted.
The Dark Muse advanced forward. “What am I doing wrong? I just wanted to visit my home. Tee hee!”
“No!” My Muse shouted. “Get away…”
The Dark Muse entered her.
“Get out of her this instant!” I shouted.
At this, the baby Muse started to cry.
“It’s okay.” the other Muse said, consoling her.
“I like it here. Tee hee!” My Muse said.
And suddenly, my Muse became five years old.
I glared at her with anger. “Leave her this instant or I will make you!” I shouted.
“Make me!” My Muse shouted.
Meeting her challenge, I used my Master’s Privileges to reach into my Muse and pull out the Dark Muse.
“Tee hee!” she shouted. “Hey! What are you doing? Put me down! Tee hee!”
“Leave her alone and apologize.” I demanded.
“Okay!” she shouted. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to visit my home. Okay?” *sniff* *sniff*
Ding! The elevator stopped on the 182nd floor and the doors opened. Me, my Muse got off with the other Muse and baby Muse.
“I’m going to the 1000th floor!” the Dark Muse told us. “See you there! Tee hee!”
The elevator door closed, leaving all of us in a vast area filled with snow.
“Hey!” the other Muse shouted playfully to the baby Muse. “Let’s go play in the snow! Okay?”
“Okay!” the baby Muse said, smiling.
The other Muse used her Intangible abilities to create warm clothes for the baby Muse to wear. A warm coat, snow pants, boots, gloves and a scarf.
Meanwhile, my Muse glanced at me with a puzzled look on her face. “Why are we here?” she asked me.
I wiped the sweat off my brow. “I just needed to cool off.” I told her. “Anyway, using a snow blower still is NOT cheating!”
She nodded. “But we don’t have to shovel this snow! Let’s go.”
I nodded, and followed my Muse back to the elevator. She pressed the up button. The elevator door opened to the right of us and we both entered it.
My Muse walked over to the touch screen and pressed some buttons. The elevator doors closed and it continued upward.
“What floor did you put in?” I asked her.
My Muse smiled. “It’s a surprise,” she told me. “You’ll see…”
I embraced my Muse, and we held each other in our hands. Moments later, the elevator stopped. Ding!
I glanced at the floor number. Floor 221. Happy Hallmark Day.
Suddenly, a Muse stood there, greeting both of us. She was holding a big heart-shaped box of chocolates. She handed the box to me.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Kyle!” she said, smiling.
I looked at the calendar. It’s not actually Valentine’s Day, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings…
“Thanks,” I told her.
She glanced at the Muse that I was with. “You two have fun on the way up! The chocolates are for both of you.”
“Why thanks!” told her.
By the time that those words left my mouth, my Muse already had two chocolates in her mouth.
“What?” she said, with her mouth full of chocolates. “She said that they were for both of us, right?”
I smiled and gave her a kiss. “You wanted to stop on this floor to get some chocolates. Am I right?”
My Muse smiled, shaking her head. “Um-um…”
“Admit it!” I told her, giving her another kiss.
She nodded. “I was in the mood for chocolate, so why not?” She then glanced at the touch screen. “Where to next?”
With that question posed to me, I quickly began thinking of where we could go next. I then thought of my old phone that I used to have. How about that floor? I pressed 348 on the touch screen and pressed enter.
“Have fun!” the Muse on the 221st floor told us. The two doors closed and we were off.
A little while later, the elevator stopped, but it was no where near the floor I chose. Someone else stopped it, and it was on the 261st floor.
Another Muse got on. This Muse was five years old and looked like a brat.
“Out of my way!” The Dark Muse sassed.
I sighed. “What are you doing here?”
The Dark Muse closed her eyes. “It’s a surprise, and I’m not telling! Tee hee!
The elevator continued upward, and I glanced at my Muse, who was rather quiet about this whole matter.
“Can you tell me what’s going on?” I asked her.
My Muse smiled. “She won’t bother us. I can assure you. Isn’t that right?”
The Dark Muse nodded. “She paid me good money to be nice to you so you better be grateful!”
I frowned. “Good money? What is this all about?”
My Muse wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “Don’t you know what’s going on? I’ve shown you that city and I’ve shown you this tower. Must I tell you anymore? Just wait and see!
The elevator stopped again. It was the 311th floor. Another Dark Muse got on, but took slow and bashful steps.
The other Dark Muse sighed. “Come on!” she shouted. “You don’t need to be shy! We’ll have a lot of fun! I promise! Tee hee!”
The shy Dark Muse nodded, and walked toward the back of the elevator. She sat down and closed her eyes, trying to avoid eye contact with any of us.
“Whoa!” I shouted. “It’s a good thing that I have Master’s Privileges! Otherwise, I would be losing all that confidence!”
The elevator moved upward and finally stopped on the floor that I entered. The 348th floor.
Me and my Muse both got off, while the two Dark Muses stayed on.
“See you at the top!” the bratty Dark Muse shouted.
The elevator door closed and it was just me and My Muse. On the “New Phone” floor, my Muse decided to get a new phone for herself. She turned on her phone and began downloading a bunch of apps.
“Let’s go,” I told her.
“Hang on,” my Muse told me. “I need to update my Facebook status.”
“Can you put that phone down?” I said, growing impatient. “You never had a phone before!”
She nodded. “I know! But all my friends have one, and now I need one!” She continued pressing buttons and staring at the screen.
I pressed the up button on the elevator. The door opened. “Let’s go!” I shouted.
“Hang on!” My Muse shouted. “I need to take another selfie!”
The elevator door closed. I pressed the up button and it opened again. “Let’s go!”
“I just need to send this to a few of my friends!” she told me. “And…wait! One of them just invited me to a Snapchat. Hang on!”
That did it. I yanked the phone out of her hand and smashed it against the floor.
“Hey!” she shouted. “What did you do that for! Now I’ll have to get another one!”
“Oh no you don’t!” I argued. I grabbed hold of her hand and tugged her into the elevator. I pressed 471 on the touch screen and pressed enter. The elevator doors closed and it moved upward.
My Muse hugged me. “Thanks Kyle. I don’t know what came over me. It was like that Coffee floor. It was so weird…”
A minute later, the elevator stopped again, but on the 401st floor. A different Muse got on the elevator. She was smiling, and she walked on gracefully.
The elevator continued upward. The other Muse looked at me with a friendly smile. “Hi Kyle!” she said politely. “I’m the receptionist from the 401st floor. How has your day been going so far? If you need any prayer, just let me know.”
My Muse whispered something into her ear. Upon hearing this, she nodded. “Okay…” she whispered back. “I will definitely pray about that!” She then looked at me. “Kyle, do you need any prayer? Just give me your request and I will pray for you.”
I nodded. “Pray that we have a safe trip up. This tower is pretty tall. More than two miles tall…”
The virtuous Muse nodded. “Definitely. Let’s all hold hands and close our eyes.”
We all followed her directions and she began her prayer.
“Dear heavenly father,” she prayed. “Thank you for this wonderful day that you have blessed us with. Thank you for Kyle and his Muse, and the wonderful friendship that they have been able to share with each other. As we make our journey to the top of this tower, bless all of us with a safe journey. Should any troubles await us, give us the patience, courage and strength to overcome these troubles. Thank you for your son, Jesus Christ dying on the cross for all of us. Thank you for your love and mercy that you have lavished on each one of us. Bless us with your presence and bless us with your love. We all ask this in Jesus name, Amen.”
“Amen.” both me and my Muse repeated.
The elevator finally stopped. Ding!
It was the 471st floor. The door opened and I got off with my Muse. The virtuous Muse stayed on the elevator.
“Have a blessed day!” the virtuous Muse shouted. “I’ll see both of you later!”
After the elevator door closed, I glanced at my Muse. “Do you know why I’m here?” I asked her.
She gave me a curious stare. “Why?”
I scooped up a handful of leftover game pieces from the Monopoly at McDonald’s contest. “I’m hungry.” I told her.
I gave her a few game pieces and we both walked to a nearby McDonald’s. A Muse waited on us and we used nothing but game pieces to buy our meal. We both used “Free Any Large Sandwich”, “Free Medium Fry” and “Free Regular McFlurry” for dessert. The only thing that we had to pay for was our medium drinks.
I finished my Reese’s McFlurry and threw it away. “Are you done?”
My Muse finished her Oreo McFlurry and threw it away. “Yup! Let’s go.”
We both got back in the elevator and I sighed. “At this rate, we’ll never get to the top. It’s time to cut to the chase!” I pressed 777 on the touch screen and pressed enter.
The elevator continued upward.
My Muse gave me a curious glance. “What if we keep stopping on other floors? You won’t get to floor 777 right away.”
“Don’t say that.” I pleaded.
She grinned. “Why not?”
“Because if you do, then it will happen.”
Right after I said that, the elevator stopped. Floor 524. Ding!
“See?” I told her. “You jinxed it.”
“Tee hee!” A Muse shouted. “Jinx what? Merry Christmas! Tee hee!”
A fairy Muse flew inside the elevator and it continued upward.
The fairy Muse frowned at me. “Now what is this jinx you’re talking about? Tee hee!”
“First, tell me why you said ‘Merry Christmas!’,” I demanded. “It’s April, for goodness sake!”
“Well on my floor, it’s still December, okay?” the fairy Muse answered. “Now spill it about this jinx thing!”
Ding! The elevator stopped again on the 549th floor.
“That,” I pointed out. “My Muse told me that we would keep stopping on floors and I wouldn’t get to my floor right away.”
A Dark Muse got onto the elevator and smiled. “A fairy home? This will be fun to live in! Tee hee!”
The elevator moved upward, and the fairy Muse flew up towards the ceiling of the elevator.
“You’re an annoying little girl!” the fairy Muse shouted. “Get away! Tee hee!”
But the Dark Muse didn’t give up. She jumped up and entered the fairy Muse.
The fairy Muse then flashed briefly. “I’m home! Tee hee!”
The fairy Muse (who was already tiny to begin with) shrank as she transformed into a five-year old. “There! Tee hee! Now I’m acting my age!”
The elevator once again stopped. Only this time, the door didn’t open. What’s going on?
The elevator door began to ice over, with icicles forming on the ceiling.
My Muse gasped. “I believe that it has something to do with where we are. Look!”
I looked at the floor number. We were on the 591st floor. If memory serves me right, that is the “BRRR!!!!” floor.
“Wasn’t that the day where it got to minus 1?” my Muse asked me.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m c-c-c-COLD! Tee hee!” the fairy Muse shouted. “Let me out of here!”
The fairy Muse flew up to the door, which was becoming more and more frozen. The ice that was on the door began spreading outward, toward the floors and the walls of the elevator.
“The door’s frozen shut!” I shouted. “Let’s get out of here quick before this becomes a giant ice cube!”
I glanced at the fairy Muse and sighed. “Can’t you use your fairy powers to thaw the ice?”
My Muse looked at me, almost laughing. “Can’t you use YOUR Master’s privileges to thaw the ice?”
My face turned red with embarrassment. “Oh yeah…”
The fairy Muse smiled. “That’s right! Tee hee! Here I go! And thaw! Wait? Why isn’t it working? Oh yeah! Mommy told me this! You have to make a wish first! Tee hee!”
I shook my head. “Forget that.” I told her. “I’m using my privileges to thaw the ice!”
I used my Master’s Privileges and waved my hand at the frozen elevator. All the ice melted. The door was still closed.
“Open!” I shouted, using the privileges.
The door immediately opened. “Now I’ll…wait!” I gasped. “This isn’t right…”
“The elevator isn’t lined up with the next floor!” my Muse shouted.
I glanced at the fairy Muse. “Here,” I told her. “I wish that you could fly us both up the elevator shaft to the 591st floor!”
“Um Kyle?” my Muse smiled. “I’m Intangible, so I can fly!”
“It’s too late!” the fairy Muse shouted. “He made the wish! Tee hee! Your wish is my command! Tee hee!”
The fairy Muse flew us both a few feet up the elevator shaft to the 591st floor and opened the door. On her way back down to the elevator, she looked up. “A bunch of the cables are all icy! Tee hee!”
“WHAT?” I gasped. “The entire elevator shaft is starting to freeze!”
I glanced around the floor, which was a Winter wonderland full of ice and snow. Not so for the elevator shaft. I used my privileges to thaw the elevator shaft.
“Unfreeze!” I shouted.
Chunks of slush and water began falling downward. And just like that, the cables started working again. The elevator moved upward without stopping.
“Wait!” I shouted. “That was our elevator…” I pressed the up button. “I guess we’ll have to catch another one…”
Another elevator opened and we entered it. I pressed 777 on the touch screen and pressed enter.
The elevator moved upward, and my Muse gasped.
“Kyle!” she gasped.
“What?” I said, frowning. “What are you so worried about?”
“We’re in the 600’s!” she shouted. “What it we encounter that evil Muse?”
Just as she finished that sentence, the elevator stopped again. That’s my Muse, having perfect timing like usual!
On the 654th floor, the elevator door opened. A new Dark Muse stepped on, and she had a very devious look on her face.
“Hello!” she shouted. “Let’s play a game! If you don’t play a game with me, I will crush you! Tee hee!”
The elevator sped upward. Before I could even begin any game with her. The elevator stopped again. Ding!
The elevator stopped on floor 666.
The Dark Muse flashed a bright, glowing crimson color. “Ahhh…HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!” she shouted gleefully.
She morphed into a gruesome creature. Her head became like that of a fearsome dragon with scales all over her. Five additional heads emerged out and began hissing like venomous vipers.
“HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!” she shouted. “I will kill you! I will kill you all!”
She made the elevator we were in vanish and we were in a different realm. The realm of the 666th floor.
In this realm, both me and my Muse, seemed to be floating on air. Her form now looked gigantic, with us looking like tiny specs to her.
She made us fly forward, towards her. “HISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Time to kill some ants! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!”
My Muse hid herself in my arms. “Quick Kyle!” she shouted. “What are we going to do?”
“Don’t worry,” I told her. “I’ve got some thing planned.” I waved my hands at the room. FLASH!
“Ha!” she laughed. “What did you do? I didn’t see a single thing change! Now, it’s time to die!”
Just as she was about to use her powers, her energy began to fade.
“Into the abyss with you!” I shouted. “And stay there!”
The Evil Muse was flung into the abyss, with the dimensional vortex closing behind her. “NOOOOOOOO!!!”
I brushed my hands off and smiled. “That was easy!”
My Muse kissed me and laughed. “What did you do?”
“When you saw that flash, I made the 666th floor the 667th floor.” I told her. “With that small change, she lost most of her power. Now, let’s get to the 777th floor already!”
We walked to the elevator doors and my Muse pressed the up button. We got on another elevator and I pressed the 777 and enter once again on the touch screen.
The elevator continued its ascent. With all the troubles that I have experienced so far, I closed my eyes, praying that we would stop on the 777th floor this time…
Ding! I opened my eyes. Was I right?
I looked at the floor. It was the 750th floor. Almost!
Another Dark Muse got on, with this one looking like an angel. The elevator door closed and we continued our upward journey.
The Dark Angel Muse looked at my Muse and smiled. “You may not be an angel, but you look yummy! Tee hee!”
My Muse backed away from her. “Stay away!” she shouted. “You already have the power of three Muses, and you’re not about to get a fourth one!
Ignoring her, the Dark Angel Muse absorbed my Muse into her and she grew and flashed brightly.
“So yummy! Tee hee!” she shouted.
Ding!
The elevator finally stopped on the 777th floor. However, with my Muse trapped inside the Dark Angel Muse, I will have to get her back first.
I got off the elevator and found Gabrielle. She was flashing very brightly, since it was the “Day of 777”.
“Gabrielle!” I shouted. “We need to stop the Dark Angel Muse before she…”
“Tee hee!” the Dark Angel Muse shouted. “Another angel! Tee hee!”
“Don’t worry!” Gabrielle said, smiling. “It’s the ‘Day of 777′. I’m way more powerful than her!”
At that, the Dark Angel Muse absorbed Gabrielle inside herself. She grew even more and flashed brightly.
“So yummy!” she shouted. “Tee hee!”
This made me furious. Having finally gotten to this floor, I’m not about to let it get spoiled by an childish power-hungry cherub. Master’s privileges, engage! Shift to second person! Give me my Muse and Gabrielle back!
*reaches into Dark Angel Muse and pulls out my Muse and Gabrielle*
Muse: Thanks Kyle!
She still has more.
*reaches into Dark Angel Muse and pulls out other Muses, Gabrielle’s friends and her realm*
There! Do the honors, Gabrielle!
Gabrielle: Gladly, Kyle!
*Gabrielle flings the Dark Angel Muse back to the elevator*
Gabrielle: There. Now, where are you all going? I’m on my way up to the top.
To the top? That’s where we’re going. Oh, and shift back to first person!
My Muse nodded. “Let’s go with you! We can all go in the same elevator!”
And that is just what we did. We all walked back with Gabrielle to the elevators. I pressed the up button and we all got on it.
Before I could press any button, my Muse pressed 835 and enter on the touch screen. The elevator zoomed upward.
“Where are we going?” I asked her.
“Be prepared to be geeked out!” she said with a smile.
Gabrielle shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know what floor you’re going to, but I’m going all the way to the top.”
Suddenly, the elevator stopped on the 787th floor. Torrents of water began bursting in and the elevator began filling with water.
“Not again!” I shouted. “First, frozen water. Now, actual water!” I let out a deep sigh. “I don’t have time for this! Master’s privileges, engage! Empty outside the tower! NOW!”
Just as the water was about to fill to the ceiling, the water vanished, and was flushed out of the tower.
My Muse gasped. “What was that floor, by the way?”
I glanced at the floor that we stopped on. “787,” I told her. “Flash flood.”
The elevator continued upward and finally stopped on the 835th floor. I got off with my Muse while Gabrielle stayed on.
“See you at the top!” Gabrielle shouted.
Both of us nodded as the elevator doors closed.
I glanced at floor 835. I saw a DeLorean parked nearby, and then it hit me. This was the “Welcome to the Future, Marty!” floor.
“Nice,” I said with a smile. “October 21, 2015. 4:29 p.m.”
I then glanced at the elevator. “Can we go now?”
My Muse nodded. “I just thought that we should one more pit stop before the 901st floor.”
“It was a nice one,” I told her. I pressed the up button and the elevator door opened. We both walked on the elevator and my Muse pressed 886 and enter on the touch screen.
“You said one more!” I said with a frown.
“We need to pick up Fat Muse!” she told me. “I told her that I would pick her up!”
The elevator zoomed upward to our final destination. Floor 886.
Moments later, the elevator door opened. The Fat Muse stepped on with a big smile.
“You’re late!” she shouted. “Just kidding! I hope this elevator doesn’t have a weight limit, ’cause big momma’s coming! Ha ha!”
She jumped into the elevator, which made the whole elevator shake.
“To the 901st floor!” I shouted, pressing 901 and enter on the touch screen. “Please don’t jump like that again. You could’ve broke the elevator.”
The fat Muse nodded. “But I didn’t, did I? I trust Little Miss Toothpick over there. She made this elevator strong and study, just for me! Ha ha! Now if you would excuse me, I’m going to have a little snack…”
The fat Muse reached into the folds of her belly and pulled out an extra large supreme pizza, which she consumed in seconds.
Ding! This was it.
And all of a sudden, for what seemed like a mere eternity, Kyle and his Muse finally reached the 901st floor. Both Kyle and his Muse left with the morbidly obese fat Muse and approached the lobby. Oh, Kyle could not wait to put an ending to this amazing milestone! No recycled zinger would do. Why, that would be unheard of in writing a monumental milestone of this magnitude. This wham-bam thank you ma’am show-stopping epic zinger would be 100% original and would stand out from all the rest. That’s how to conclude a millennial post the right way, isn’t it?
As to not completely drag out this narrative any longer than what it should be, the narrator knew his place and became silent out of respect for Kyle and his beloved Muse.
I began clapping and my Muse clapped with me. “That was amazing.” I told the unseen narrator. “That was properly timed and completely unintrusive.”
Why thank you! Now carry on, as I am very eager to see how this wonderful and magnificent milestone ends.
I nodded. “Will do!”
After thanking the narrator, I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. My Muse and the Fat Muse followed.
“You two enjoy yourselves!” the fat Muse shouted. “This honey is heading to the top! There’s something big up there, and it’s bigger than me! Ha ha!”
The fat Muse proceeded to the elevators, while me and my Muse took our time.
In examining the lobby, I noticed that it had no exit, since this was the 901st floor.
I approached a pure white service desk laced with solid gold bows. A different Muse was sitting there, typing away. She then looked up and smiled. She wore a cape, and looked like a superhero.
“Welcome Kyle,” she announced. “You are on the ‘Christmas Aftermath and a Super Muse’ floor. I love this floor, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…Mighty Muse!”
Ahem! Don’t you remember my suggestion? You’re The Mighty Mistress, remember?
“That’s right!” the receptionist said, smiling.
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1000 now.”
At this, my Muse smiled. “Be my guest! I’ll be up there shortly. I just need to close things down around here…”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either.
My Muse shook her head.
Muse: No! We are going to visit a few more floors!
But…
Muse: Kyle, this is entry #1000! You will never get another chance to do this again! Now come on! What do you say?
Alright. We’ll visit a few more floors. To commemorate this special anniversary, we’ll do so.
And just like that, I pressed the up button and we entered the elevator, making the final trip to all of my favorite floors.
I pressed 915 and the elevator zoomed upward. Moments later, the elevator stopped. Ding!
My Muse frowned. “Why did we stop here?” she asked me.
I scratched my head, as I examined the floor. There was slush everywhere. All the snow was melting into slush. “It might have to do with the next floor,” I told her. “Let’s go.”
We got back into the elevator and my Muse pressed 916. After it went up one floor, we exited. Sure enough, there was snow everywhere.
“That’s it!” I shouted. “The previous floor was ‘Slushy Saturday’ and this one is ‘Snowy Sunday’. I guess that I liked the contrast between the two floors.”
My Muse shrugged her shoulders. “Well, let’s go to the next one…”
We entered the elevator and I pressed 919. It went up three floors and we exited it.
I smiled. “Can You Hear It?” I asked my Muse.
“You mean this?” My Muse asked me, playing the infernal sound of drums.
“No!” I screamed. “Not that! Anything but that! Stop that sound this instant!”
My Muse nodded. “You don’t want to hear them? Fine.” She turned the sound off.
“I am not talking about drums,” I told her. “It’s the sound of your passion. Can you hear it?”
“Yes,” My Muse told me. “Can we go to the next floor?”
“Certainly.”
Listening to her request, we got back in the elevator. I pressed 930.
Just moments later, the elevator door opened. This was the “Sunday of Solitude” floor.
“Oh, I remember this one!” My Muse shouted. “This was when I noticed that my powers were missing…”
I nodded. “This was also where I talked about my spiritual gifts class. I’m guessing that’s why I decided to add it. It’s really worth reflecting on.”
We got back on the elevator. Before I could press anything, my Muse pressed 949. I just so happen to know what that floor was. It’s the “A Single Challenge” floor.
“Any reason why we need to go here?” I asked her.
“I think that it’s good to reflect on your dilemma in being single,” she answered. “It’s a well written piece, and a fond memory of mine.”
Ding! The elevator stopped once again and the door opened.
There I was, another copy of myself talking to another copy of my Muse about my single dilemma. From the exchange that I heard, my Muse was really good in giving advice.
“Your readiness will come with time,” my Muse told me, when she saw that I was overhearing the conversation.”
I gave my Muse a kiss. “It certainly will,” I said with a smile. “It certainly will.”
We got back on the elevator and I pressed 961. “I’m a little curious about this one,” I told her.
“Oh,” My Muse said, scratching her head. “What is that one? Oh yeah! ‘Snowy Conditions Ahead…’? That’s right! That’s where I kind of…yeah.”
Ding! The elevator stopped and we both got off.
“You kind of what?” I asked, looking impatient.
“I kind of had to fake what I was saying so that you wouldn’t suspect anything!” she said, looking very bashful. “I…was totally different. After Tee Hee Girl tagged me, her DNA slowly began to multiply until I transformed into her. There wasn’t a strand of me left, except a hollow shell. One that she used to pretend to be me…” My Muse started to break down. *sniff* *sniff* “I’m very…sorry…”
I patted my Muse on the back. “Don’t be ashamed.” I told her. “You were under Tee Hee Girl’s control. There was nothing you could do. But my, did she do a splendid job at pretending to be you!”
She nodded. “I know. To be honest, it actually felt weird being me when I was her. That’s how much of me she took. All of it. I was completely her. Another Tee Hee Girl that was doing the Dark Damsel’s bidding…”
I stared at my Muse directly in the eyes. “But none of it was your fault, okay? Don’t feel guilty about something that she did. You had no control at all. The important thing is that I rescued you and you’re safe now. The One Privilege restored who you are. Otherwise, you would still be Tee Hee Girl…”
My Muse nodded, wiping away all of her tears. “You’re right. Enough about the past. Let’s go. There’s a few more floors that I want to visit!”
We got on the elevator and my Muse, laughing, pressed 966. The elevator began upward.
“Where are we going now?” I asked her.
“It’s one of my favorite floors!” she shouted.
Ding! I stepped outside. Where are we now?
“Why is this your favorite?” I asked her. I looked at the floor number. “Oh. ‘Happy Leap Day!’?”
We both got out of the elevator. My Muse transformed herself into an eight-year old.
“Yeah!” she shouted. “I love Leap Day! Isn’t it amazing? Tee hee!”
I nodded. “I love it, too. I also love how you’re eight years old, even though you’re not born on February 29th! You were born on August 12th, the same day as me! Come on!”
“Can I have some fun?” she pleaded. “Or do I have to be an adult all the time?”
“Who said that any of us are adults?” I asked her. “An adult is only a larger version of a kid. It’s just a different name. The person that we are is the same. We’re just older.
“Not to mention more EXPERIENCED!” she shouted, as she gave me a playful shove. “Leap! Leap! Leap! C’mon Kyle! Leap with me!”
I looked ahead of myself, trying to envision the audience. “Do I really have to?”
“Leap or we’re not leaving this floor!” she threatened.
Letting out a deep sigh, I shrugged my shoulders and began leaping with her.
“There!” she shouted. “That’s better! Tee hee! Just think about the kids that you’re gonna have some day! What if you have a daughter? Don’t you want to make her happy?”
I glimpsed at my eight-year old Muse again and nodded. “I see your point,” I told her. “If I’m going to have kids, I should at least know how to play with them.”
“Yeah!” she shouted, as she threw herself forward. “Catch me! Tee hee!”
As she fell over, I caught her in my arms. “Are you ready to go to the next floor?”
She eagerly got up and ran to the elevator. “Yeah!” Acting very hyper, she kept pressing the up button until the elevator door opened.
As we both entered, I began to see the expression of want on her face.
“Can I PLEASE press the next button?” she pleaded. “PLEASE?”
“Go ahead,” I told her.
“Yay!” she shouted. She ran to the panel and pressed 971.
As the elevator went upward, my Muse transformed back into an adult.
“That was fun,” my Muse said, smiling. “We’re almost done! Just a few more floors, Kyle!”
The elevator stopped on floor 971. Ding! We both got out.
“All Stitched Up?” I asked my Muse. “Why are we here? Granted, I had that title since I conquered Yoshi’s Woolly World, but why are we here?”
“It’s more about me lying,” she told me. “As you heard before, I was Tee Hee Girl, and this is how the Dark Damsel wanted me to reveal everything. I wanted to show you the hideout, but unfortunately I was leading you into a trap. It’s strange I seem to remember a lot from when I was Tee Hee Girl…”
“So you still have all her memories?” I said, gasping.
“I do,” she said sheepishly. “It’s weird. I can still remember everything she experienced, even though I’m not her anymore…But it does help in explaining what’s going on…”
My Muse grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back onto the elevator. She pressed 972 and it went up a floor. We got off again.
“One More Week to Fall Back on…” I read. “Don’t tell me. This is where the whole plan unravels.”
She nodded. “Being Tee Hee Girl at the time, I was uncomfortable as myself. I felt relieved when I could finally take off my disguise…”
“What else?” I asked her. I was growing impatient.
“That’s it.” she told me. “Two more floors and we’ll go to the top. I promise!”
I followed my Muse back onto the elevator and she pressed 985. A few moments later, the elevator stopped and we got off.
“The Hurdle is Cleared?” I said, looking puzzled.
“On this floor, I was pleading for your privileges, remember?” she explained. “And I’m glad that you refused. I would’ve never asked for them anyway. But Tee Hee Girl wanted them badly.”
“And you used Dimini when you were her to get my privileges, right?” I asked her.
“Yup!” she said, nodding. “As Tee Hee Girl, it was like I was a robot, doing the Dark Damsel’s bidding. Now for the last floor!”
We got on the elevator once again and she pressed 986. It went up a floor and we both got off.
“Sunday Respite?” I asked her. “Don’t tell me. This is where everything goes downhill. As Tee Hee Girl, you thanked me for the privileges, even though I didn’t give them to you. Things then go from bad to worse, until Remedy tells me about the One Privilege. The fabled privilege that only I can yield. And before we go to the top, there’s one more floor that I want to visit…”
We both got on the elevator and I pressed 989. The elevator went up three floors and we got off.
“Now this,” I told her, “Is what I consider to be the worst way that I could end a story arc. With the weather being awful that day, it put me in a very bad mood. To end the story arc quickly, I used the privileges as a very cheap cop-out. There was no silver lining, and…Need I say more? This was an awful end to a story arc and I never want to end any future story arc like this again.”
My Muse nodded, and patted my shoulder. “You had a bad day…”
“You’re taking one down!” I shouted.
“You sing a sad song just to turn it around!” she repeated, almost laughing.
I shook my head, smiling. “Why are we reciting lyrics from Daniel Powter?”
My Muse shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know! You started it!”
“No, you did!” I argued. “You said that I had a bad day…”
She embraced me and smiled. “Well, whatever the case is, you feel better today, right? Let’s go. The top floor awaits!”
I entered the elevator with my Muse and pressed the 1000 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never no…
Muse: Stop! What did I tell you about recycling your old material! This is entry #1000! We talked about this at the very beginning! Remember?
Yes, but we’re almost done!
Muse: That is no excuse to go with something unoriginal.
I know, but…
As Kyle and his Muse argued about how to end this marvelous milestone post, the narrator (that’s me, by the way!) decided to take matters into his own hands. He would have nothing of the old order of things. The mindless, tiresome dribble that gets recycled into every single milestone post. The kind of boring endings that you must have read at least one hundred times by now! The drab, soulless, feckless…well, you get the point. Well, I can tell you for certain that those days are over. A new chapter is being written in the history of dramatic milestone endings. A vibrant, colourful and epic chapter that is on a solo mission. To end this post in the way that it should.
Getting back to the story, the narrator managed to formulate an ending that was far superior to any sorry excuse that Kyle could ever imagine for an ending…
Muse: Fine! You win! Use your recycled garbage!
Ahem!
It’s the narrator again. I’m sorry that we couldn’t hear you, but we were in the middle of an argument.
And I was in the middle of formulating a new ending. It’s all finished. All put together wonderfully. You can thank me later…
Muse: Where is the ending?
Where is the ending? Don’t look at me! I’m not the one that forgot to rehearse! Psst! It’s in your script…
Both me and my Muse, using the power of hammer space, took big stapled scripts out of our pockets.
Where is it? Let’s see…Scene 1…That’s too early. I explore the city of Muses with my Muse…Here we go!
Muse: It’s right here. The narrator thinks of an ending during the scene that we argue.
Well, doesn’t that mean that there’s a line in the script where the narrator asks you to refer to the script? And then I open up my script and…Quick! Let’s close it before things get too meta!
We both closed our scripts and returned them to hammer space, in our pockets.
Good ending. What’s this about me not being able to make an ending? Didn’t I create you, and your “wonderful” narrations?
Yes. Let’s not sidestep anymore! I’m sure that the audience wants this to end already!
Then let’s continue.
For reasons not clearly explained, time unpaused and the elevator finally reached the 1000th floor.
And for some reason, it was very dark. Otherwise, I would be able to tell you what the room looked like. As my eyes started to focus, I noticed a large…
Muses (Day 1-1000): SURPRISE! HAPPY 1,000 POST ANNIVERSARY, KYLE!
*all the lights turn on, followed by a series of horns and party favors*
To my surprise, I was in a massive room that could hold more than 1,000 people. Wait! How can this be? I’ve seen the outside of this tower…
Muse: Bigger on the inside, sweetie!
Sweetie? Who do you think you are? River Song?
Muse: Spoilers! No, I’m not River Song…
Then who are you? What number Muse are you?
Muse: I am Muse #1000. It was my job to keep you occupied until we had everything set up!
So that’s why you wanted to stop on all those floors towards the end!
Gabrielle: Yes. We needed to have more time to set up, so we kept asking her to go to other floors.
Wait! Aren’t all the evil Muses going to kill me?
Muse: They can’t. They’re all trapped in forcefields. The only thing that they can do is cooperate.
I hope that you have a very strong forcefield for her.
Muse: We do. It’s powered by my Master’s privileges.
Wait! You have privileges?
Muse: Don’t you remember? When you restored me, I ended up with the copy of the privileges that Tee Hee Girl had! And you said that I could keep it until the new cycle, right?
I did say that. Please do. It’s the only thing that’s keeping that evil Muse from escaping…
Muses: Happy 1,000 post anniversary, Kyle!
Why thank you. It’s every single Muse from every single cycle. The first one, the rich one, the bashful one, the virtuous one, the fairy Muse, the evil one, the angelic one, the fat one and the Mighy Mistress with the Marvelous Muses League!
Virtuous Muse: That’s right, Kyle. We’re all here for your special day. Enjoy it it while it lasts. Congratulations!
Thank you. I will!
Dark Muses: Happy 1,000 post anniversary, Kyle! Tee hee!
Wow! Every single Dark Muse is here. The original, the spoiled brat, the shy one, the fairy, the evil one, the angel and the Lethal Lady League!
Dark Angel Muse: That’s right! Have some anniversary cake. Tee hee! It’s so yummy!
Dark Spoiled Muse: No expense was spared for this fun party. Now if you would excuse me…Servants! Come here this instant!
At that, the Dark Spoiled Muse’s servants quietly escorted her out of the room, to tend to her business.
Well, I know what that call is all about. With her being so spoiled, she’s pretty “pampered”.
After seeing all the Dark Muses, I tried to find the 1000th Muse, and discovered that she was standing right next to me.
Being reassured, I smiled. “I just wanted to know that you were still there.”
???: Happy 1,000 post anniversary, Kyle!
Remedy!
Remedy: What do you think of this gathering? It’s every Muse from every day.
I like it. This was worth all the waiting and suspense.
Remedy: Well, I’m going to dance with some of the Muses. Have fun, Kyle!
I will!
To celebrate, I ate a couple slices of anniversary cake and sat down, reflecting on all of the memories from day one until now.
My Muse suddenly got up and began yawning.
Muse: *yawn* I’m so tired…I…AHHHHHHH!!!
My Muse fell on the floor.
Gasping , I stood up and got my Muse to her feet.
Muse: *yawn* Sorry…Kyle. I’m just very tired… *yawn*
Well, let’s go in the other room.
And that is just what we did.
I took my Muse into the next room. This room was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a grand bed sat in the other. It was the size of four king-sized beds merged together. It was well decorated with pure white and solid gold, with the bed being the same color.
“Kyle!” she said, yawning. “I have something to read to you. I want to do this before I get too tired.” She let out a deep yawn.
“Hurry!” I shouted. “Read it!”
My Muse got out a note and began to read it.
“To my master,” she read. “I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1000. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude. Love, Your Muse. P.S. I hope that you enjoyed our special date. I created that city of Muses just so that we could celebrate it. Also, I would like to congratulate you on reaching 1,000 entries. This is not an easy feat, and it requires a tremendous amount of energy and creativity to pull it off. Thank you for loving me as your own and all the kindness that you have shown to me. This is it, Kyle. 1000 days. 1000 wonderful days that you have spent journaling and speaking with me. Doesn’t that make you feel excited? I know that it does for me, and I enjoy every minute that we spend together. You are a wonderful friend, and would make wonderful company to any woman that would want to form a special friendship with you. My prayer is that she finds you and that God provides you with the job that is in perfect alignment with his plan for your life. Remember this, Kyle. I am a thought. An idea made into human form. A Muse. One that you crafted with your own hands. The engine of creativity that brings to life every work that you make. I am your Muse, and I will always be your Muse. Don’t stop creating and don’t stop writing. Ideas are my food, so don’t leave me hungry. Happy 1000 post anniversary! Happy millennial post! XOXOXOXOXO (X’s are kisses, and O’s are hugs, of course. Tee hee…)
After she finished reading that note, my eyes began tearing up. I stretched out my hands and gently embraced her. “Thank you…” I said, quietly weeping. “What you just said means so much to me…It really does. Thank you…”
Suddenly, my Muse began to swoon. “Kyle!” my Muse shouted in a weak voice. “My bed! Quick…”
I brought my Muse over to the bed and my timing was perfect. My Muse, who was extremely exhausted, collapsed right onto the bed, landing on her belly. My Muse was fast asleep. All that hard work in preparing this for me must have really taken it out of her…
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 900th floor, 800th floor, 700th floor, 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 35 degrees and the silver lining is having this extra special 1000th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 900, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s no message this time, since she read the whole message to me herself. I think that I’ll reread that message. Aw…How thoughtful. I liked the perfectly timed narrations!
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an nearly identical post from Day 800. I don’t know about you, but with it being Christmas, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 800th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 800th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the eighth time in a row? This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “700th” to “800th” and “seventh” to “eighth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh* Oh! And don’t worry! I did look at the calendar today. Merry Christmas! Glad this was written far in advance, so that you wouldn’t have to lift a finger on this special holiday…) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I removed the highlighted grammatical changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 800th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago. I also wished the reader Merry Christmas. Wait! The removed grammatical changes were from entry 700! My bad! I guess that’s what I get for leaving everything the same…) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 800? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 800. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… (An ellipses with four dots! I thought that I corrected them all last time! Oh well…Narrators aren’t always the best proofreaders, I guess…But narrators can be excellent at recycling, considering that there are no improper ellipses to correct this time…) different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there…only this time, it was covered in snow (You see what I did there? I figured that the field should be covered in snow, with this being Christmas and all. Consider it as another Christmas gift from me! Merry Christmas! And before you even begin with the thanking, you’re welcome! We should really change the scenery a little bit. But we just did! Didn’t you see the snow? Hello? Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 900! Maybe we’ll wait until 1000…Or maybe not. Having a little snow and some decorations is change enough, don’t you think? Oh! The decorations! Shhh! Just pretend I didn’t say that…). I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before…only the greenery was covered in snow, so it really wasn’t green at all. (The snow-covered greenery was so white that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming whiteness. So white that Snow White filed a lawsuit for the snow being too white, but decided to change her mind when she realized that the date that she was filing this very lawsuit was on Christmas. Thank you for changing your mind, Ms. White! Maybe if you had more of an open mind, you would be able to close your eyes and embrace the wonderful snowy whiteness that is in this whitishly white field instead of filing a frivolous lawsuit over snow that is apparently whiter than yours. I mean, really! Well, I never!) Snow-covered clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red poinsettias. Bushes, Frasers and Spruces all decorated with a brilliant display of lights. A luminescent sea of color. And with it being dark out, everything was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for the few changes that I decided to keep. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a finely decorated skyscraper on steroids. There were lights and wonderful decorations everywhere, with two nutcrackers that stood like sentries outside the entrance. The numerous strings of multi-colored LED lights ran up and down the decorated structure. The tower had a giant ornately decorated star on the top. (Again, I went overboard with the decorations for your sake. Merry Christmas! Best wishes and warm greetings, The Narrator.)
“That tower looks amazing.” I said to myself. “All those lights and decorations…I’m glad that my Muse decided to decorate it for Christmas!”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“I know that the outside is nicely decorated, but is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 801st floor! And thanks for acknowledging the decorations. Merry Christmas! Tee hee!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 801st floor.
Approaching a stained white colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her watching TV…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “The Fat Muse Sings” floor. This floor is not one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…I just hate being fat!”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 900 now.”
At this, my Muse smiled. “Go on! I was fat and miserable most of the time. There’s no way that I want to relive that…”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 801 – The Fat Muse Sings
Not the fat lady, but my Muse. But does she really sing? How do I take to this new form of my Muse? Read and find out.
Floor 810 – Pizza, anyone?
What happens when you order a lot of pizzas? You get an interesting entry to read. Maybe not a lot unless you consider four to be a lot. This read is good to the last slice and ready when you are. Why don’t you give it a try? It’s really good and it’s free.
Floor 811 – Sunday Catch-up day
What is going on with my Muse? The Fat Muse saga continues, and my is it putting on weight! Read it for yourself and see what I mean.
Floor 813– Swatting a few flies…
Not flies on a wall, but virtual flies. And I accomplish something special too. Grab your fly swatter and read this entry. There are still plenty of flies swarming about.
Floor 822 – ThursNESday
This is the first of many of my NESday entries. With something being an in-joke with my friend, I now use it as a reference to him coming over. Read it and check it out.
Floor 834 – Power Outage
When a local outage hits my area, you’re left with a hollow shell of an entry. Not much there, but I explain why it’s so short. That’s about it. It’s kind of dark, so read it with a flashlight.
Floor 835 – Welcome to the Future, Marty!
With Back to the Future Day finally here, I give Marty McFly a warm welcome to the year 2015. It’s definitely a classic that you don’t want to miss. And if you do, get a DeLorean and travel back to this period. Quick! Do this and read the entry, before you cause a time paradox!
Floor 837 – GERSBERMS! MAH FRAVRIT MERVIE!
The GERSBERMS girl gets a little airtime as I share my excitement about seeing the upcoming Goosebumps movie. Why are you still reading this? Go and read the entry! RERD IT NERW!
Floor 838 – Sweet Saturday
Despite this Saturday being sweet, a story arc has put on some more weight. What’s going on with the Fat Muse now? Grab that extra burger and read this entry. Oh, and don’t forget the extra back of chips. And the extra large drink! And the plate of chocolate chip cookies!
Floor 842 – Three Wheel Car
How can a three-wheel car operate? Of course I’m not talking about a real car, but a metaphor to describe how my day at work went. If you’re missing a wheel, it’s okay. Read this entry and you’ll find out that you can do well without it.
Floor 849 – Toastmasters District 62 Fall Conference Aftermath
Another classic recap from one of the Toastmasters conferences that I went to. And with this one being on Halloween weekend, it was really good! Get your costume, help yourself to the leftover candy and read this entry. There’s nothing to be afraid of…
Floor 868 – Good Grief!
Just an attention-grabbing title referencing my excitement of seeing the Peanuts Movie. And if you want to do Charlie Brown a favor, I would read this. Do it for me, but more importantly, do it for him.
Floor 878 – O Christmas Tree
With Beard’s Lakeview Farm done selling trees for good, a new tradition has begun in the quest for choose and cut Christmas trees. The story takes my family to Kluck Nursery. Bundle up, get your work gloves and read this entry. I guarantee that you can cut this one down.
Floor 884 – You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
Who is this Grinch? I’ll give you a clue. He lives right here in America. Could it be you? Don’t give a cry. Not a single loud shout. Just read this bold entry and you will find out.
Floor 886 – Cutting the Fat
So are we going on a diet now? No. But this story arc is about to lose a lot of weight! In this one, you’ll find the dramatic conclusion to the Fat Muse saga! Get on that treadmill and start reading. And don’t forget your sweatband.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 900th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 900 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this ninth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 900th floor.
Like the 700th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other. Pretty much the same room as the 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her fat form once again and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 900. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
P.S. With this entry falling right on Christmas, I wanted to make it extra special. I hope that you liked all the lights and decorations that I ordered the Narrator to do for me. I would do it myself, but I’m my fat form again. On the desk by the computer, I saved you a cookie and a glass of egg nog. Please enjoy it as a gift from me. Merry Christmas! XOXOXOXOXO (X’s are kisses, and O’s are hugs, of course. Tee hee…)
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 800th floor, 700th floor, 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 43 degrees and the silver lining is having this 900th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 800, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How thoughtful. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…Oh! There’s the cookie and the egg nog! Mmm! That was a good cookie! And that egg nog was good, too…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an nearly identical post from Day 700. I don’t know about you, but with it being just a week before Autumn, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 700th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 700th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the seventh time in a row? This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “600th” to “700th” and “sixth” to “seventh” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I removed the highlighted grammatical changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 700th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago. Wait! The removed grammatical changes were from entry 700! My bad! I guess that’s what I get for leaving everything the same…) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 700? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 700. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… (An ellipses with four dots! I thought that I corrected them all last time! Oh well…Narrators aren’t always the best proofreaders, I guess…But narrators can be excellent at recycling, considering that there are no improper ellipses to correct this time…) different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see… (And another! Somebody call the Ellipses Police…I guess they already did. And my, are they doing a good job! No four-dotted ellipses to be found anywhere!)
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (Same field? We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 800! Maybe we’ll wait until 1000…). I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle started getting a headache from the overwhelming greenness. So green that all the environmental groups gave this very post their highest award for the amazing greenery and clean air that they could smell when they closed their eyes, trying to imagine a world very much like the greenery in this post.) Green clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red roses. Orange lilies. Purple daisies. Pink tulips. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful flowering sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 701st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 701st floor.
Approaching a white colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Touched By an Angel” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 800 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see… (Another four-dotted ellipses? That’s the third one now! Make that the third reference to an incorrect ellipses that doesn’t exist anymore!) I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 701 – Touched By an Angel
And no. I’m not talking about the popular CBS evening drama that aired in the 90’s. When my Muse transforms, a new angel appears. What does this form mean to me and how do I deal with it? Read and find out.
Floor 704 – Blame it on the Rain
After a bad storm, a bunch of water on the oven at work forced my store to be closed for the whole morning while we cleaned up the mess. An interesting morning morning shift and a fun read indeed.
Floor 711 – Toastmasters for Breakfast
If Toastmasters were a breakfast cereal, this is what it would be like. Actually, this was my first visit to Bay City Toastmasters, a club that meets early in the morning. So get the sleep out of your eyes and enjoy this one with a cup of coffee. You’ll be glad you did. Oh, and good morning!
Floor 716 – Time to Re-evaluate
I always like writing thoughtful and reflective pieces, and this is one of them. My self-evaluation of how I’m doing and my desire for self-improvement, both personally and professionally. Read it and be enlightened.
Floor 720– Regarding Marriage – Part II: The Crumbling Foundation
A very controversial subject, but one that I handle well. As a fair warning, you may strongly agree or disagree with me on this hot topic. Read it and see for yourself. You have been warned.
Floor 723 – Green Haircut and Final Closing Farewell
How can I forget this? My boss’s very last day at Little Caesars. It was a fun shift and my last chance to say goodbye to her. This ends another chapter in the history of that store and begins a new one. An okay read, but more as an important milestone.
Floor 731 – Two Years and Counting
Basically a reiteration of the one year celebration, but definitely worth mentioning since this project is over two years old and still going strong.
Floor 742 – A Day of Calm
The Angel Muse saga continues when the Dark Muse enters the equation. And whenever she shows up, bad things happen. Just read it, and you’ll see why.
Floor 749 – The Work at the End of the Tunnel
Have you ever been driven to the edge of sanity and back? Being overworked, I have fun with this entry by “losing it”, making ridiculous substitutions of words (replacing various ones with “work”). Quite possibly the only “Work & My Muse” entry that you’ll ever work. Did I say work? I meant READ. Read the entry and you’ll see the joke there.
Floor 750 – Open Up and Say AHHH!!!!!
Despite this being another entry about going to the dentist, there is plenty to say “AHHH!!!!!” about. But I’ll give you a hint. It has nothing to do with going to the dentist. As per her promise, the Dark Muse is back, and things go from bad to worse. And I mean much worse. What does that Dark Muse have up her sleeve? Read this and find out…Tee hee!
Floor 777 – Lucky Day
With this special continuation of the Angel Muse saga, a special day bestows Gabrielle with an amazing amount of power. But is it enough to bring my Muse back? And with a read like this, nothing can possible go wrong. And I mean nothing. Grab your luckiest charm and read all of this. You will be glad you did.
Floor 779 – Freeze Frame
It’s Me & My Muse behind the scenes, once again. The story arc is put on hold…for now. Hilarity ensues. Read the full script of this post, and remember to be quiet on the set.
Floor 780 – All ACCORDing to Plan
I never thought this day would come, but it did. My brother finally got his own car, meaning that I don’t have to share a car with him anymore. What car did he get? I’ll let you figure that out. Or you could read this post. I suggest doing the latter.
Floor 787 – Flash Flood
Do you remember the Flood of 2015? I’m sure that you did, considering that it recently happened. Well, at least in my area that it did. With around five inches of precipitation, it was definitely the worst storm ever. Did I say a tenth of an inch? Oh no. It was WAAAAAAAY more than that. Read this, and you’ll hear more about the Monsoon.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little less than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 800th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a timid nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 800 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this eighth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 800th floor.
Like the 700th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other. Pretty much the same room as the 700th story, 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 800. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 700th floor, 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 82 degrees and the silver lining is having this 800th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 700, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How thoughtful. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an nearly identical post from Day 600. I don’t know about you, but with it being a day that I have to close, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 600th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 600th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the sixth time in a row? This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “500th” to “600th” and “fifth” to “sixth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we?) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I removed the highlighted grammatical changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 600th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 600? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 600. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… (An ellipses with four dots! I thought that I corrected them all last time! Oh well…Narrators aren’t always the best proofreaders, I guess…) different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see… (And another! Somebody call the Ellipses Police…)
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (Same field? We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 700! Maybe we’ll wait until 1000…). I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle started getting a headache from the overwhelming greenness. So green that all the environmental groups gave this very post their highest award for the amazing greenery and clean air that they could smell when they closed their eyes, trying to imagine a world very much like the greenery in this post.) Green clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red roses. Orange lilies. Purple daisies. Pink tulips. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful flowering sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 601st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 601st floor.
Approaching a brown colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 700 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see… (Another four-dotted ellipses? That’s the third one now!) I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 601 – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil
Pretty self-explanatory. There is something that is different about my Muse, and she’s not about to tell me. What is it? Well, I’m not telling you. You’ll just have to read it and find out.
Floor 606 – Holding the Key
Believe it or not, I actually lost the one thing that I took for granted: my key fob. And in this one, I explain how I get it back. It’s definitely a good read, and your “key” to excitement.
Floor 608 – Springing Ahead
When you mix springing ahead, a 10 hour closing shift and 4 hours of sleep, you get an epic read. A brief tale about getting beat up by the clock. The time change affects everyone and it surely did with me the night before. Spring forward through this entry and read about the tired hero with an indomitable spirit. Stay on schedule and don’t miss this good read.
Floor 610 – It’s-a me, MAR10!
Believe it or not, Mario is not the star in this one. Read on and you will find out why.
Floor 612 – Calm Before the Storm
Everyone experiences “hurricanes” in their lives. But before these occur, there is a calmness that precedes it. Take shelter and read this. Do it quickly before the storm hits.
Floor 631 – No More Kyle…
How could my Muse be so cruel? If you take the “Me” part out of “Me & My Muse”, this is what you get. A cold and dark piece without Yours Truly. Read it if you can muster the courage. And if you are truly overwhelmed with sorrow, just read 632. All will be explained.
Floor 642 – Super Saturday
The plot thickens in the continuation of the Evil Muse saga. Is the Muse really devouring towns? What does this mean to humanity? Read this and find out.
Floor 649– Dough Shift and Friend Time
In this one, my Muse suddenly doesn’t feel pain anymore. What’s happening? Read more of the entry you must!
Floor 654 – A Little Evil
The Dark Muse was bad enough, but an Evil Dark Muse? Where did she come from and what does this mean for Kyle? Read this, and find out. Tee hee…
Floor 661 – Cavern of Coins
In this one, you get a fun little tour of Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker’s Mummy-Me Maze Forever. The tour comes complete with your own headlamp and pickaxe. It’s fun for the whole family. Just beware of the mummies.
Floor 664 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath – A Novel
Inspired by Kelly Swanson herself, I provide a riveting account of my experience at the District 62 Conference in Jackson. This story will capture your heart, and then return it to you nicely in a neatly wrapped package – just for you. Don’t worry. Kelly Swanson is really good with hearts.
Floor 666 – The Beast is Released
The day of evil has arrived. The Evil Muse unveils her powerful form and all hope is lost…Or is it?
Floor 676 – Charged Up
With my car battery dead, I needed to get a new one. And in this one, I’m also charged up about something else. What is it? Energize yourself and read on.
Floor 677 – Green Haircut and a Movie
Why did my Muse get so many headaches? All is explained here in the dramatic conclusion to the Evil Muse saga.
Floor 692 – Mandatory Concert Recap
In this one, I recap one of the best Weird Al concerts that I have ever been to. It’s a mandatory read and you will read it…or else. And you will have fun reading it…or else. Remember. Chairman Al Yankovic is watching…
Floor 695 – A Good Ending
This is it. The dramatic conclusion to the Evil Muse saga. Who will win? Does evil prevail? Or good? The fighting is epic and it will have you on the edge of your seat. A must-read indeed.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little less than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 700th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a timid nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 700 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
At the very moment that the elevator moved upward, the service desk changed dramatically to black. The Muse’s hair and clothes became black.
“I thought that he would never leave,” the Evil Muse said, brimming with impatience. “Now, I will destroy this tower and Kyle along with it. I will then eat him! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”
But Kyle’s Director’s Privileges prevented her from doing so. She remained powerless until Kyle granted her permission on the later floors.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this seventh milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 700th floor.
Like the 600th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other. Pretty much the same room as the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 700. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The high today is going to be 83 degrees and the silver lining is having this 700th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 600, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How thoughtful. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
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