Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an nearly identical post from Day 700. I don’t know about you, but with it being just a week before Autumn, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 700th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 700th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the seventh time in a row? This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “600th” to “700th” and “sixth” to “seventh” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I removed the highlighted grammatical changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 700th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago. Wait! The removed grammatical changes were from entry 700! My bad! I guess that’s what I get for leaving everything the same…) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 700? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 700. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… (An ellipses with four dots! I thought that I corrected them all last time! Oh well…Narrators aren’t always the best proofreaders, I guess…But narrators can be excellent at recycling, considering that there are no improper ellipses to correct this time…) different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see… (And another! Somebody call the Ellipses Police…I guess they already did. And my, are they doing a good job! No four-dotted ellipses to be found anywhere!)
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (Same field? We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 800! Maybe we’ll wait until 1000…). I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle started getting a headache from the overwhelming greenness. So green that all the environmental groups gave this very post their highest award for the amazing greenery and clean air that they could smell when they closed their eyes, trying to imagine a world very much like the greenery in this post.) Green clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red roses. Orange lilies. Purple daisies. Pink tulips. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful flowering sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 701st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 701st floor.
Approaching a white colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Touched By an Angel” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 800 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see… (Another four-dotted ellipses? That’s the third one now! Make that the third reference to an incorrect ellipses that doesn’t exist anymore!) I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 701 – Touched By an Angel
And no. I’m not talking about the popular CBS evening drama that aired in the 90’s. When my Muse transforms, a new angel appears. What does this form mean to me and how do I deal with it? Read and find out.
Floor 704 – Blame it on the Rain
After a bad storm, a bunch of water on the oven at work forced my store to be closed for the whole morning while we cleaned up the mess. An interesting morning morning shift and a fun read indeed.
Floor 711 – Toastmasters for Breakfast
If Toastmasters were a breakfast cereal, this is what it would be like. Actually, this was my first visit to Bay City Toastmasters, a club that meets early in the morning. So get the sleep out of your eyes and enjoy this one with a cup of coffee. You’ll be glad you did. Oh, and good morning!
Floor 716 – Time to Re-evaluate
I always like writing thoughtful and reflective pieces, and this is one of them. My self-evaluation of how I’m doing and my desire for self-improvement, both personally and professionally. Read it and be enlightened.
Floor 720– Regarding Marriage – Part II: The Crumbling Foundation
A very controversial subject, but one that I handle well. As a fair warning, you may strongly agree or disagree with me on this hot topic. Read it and see for yourself. You have been warned.
Floor 723 – Green Haircut and Final Closing Farewell
How can I forget this? My boss’s very last day at Little Caesars. It was a fun shift and my last chance to say goodbye to her. This ends another chapter in the history of that store and begins a new one. An okay read, but more as an important milestone.
Floor 731 – Two Years and Counting
Basically a reiteration of the one year celebration, but definitely worth mentioning since this project is over two years old and still going strong.
Floor 742 – A Day of Calm
The Angel Muse saga continues when the Dark Muse enters the equation. And whenever she shows up, bad things happen. Just read it, and you’ll see why.
Floor 749 – The Work at the End of the Tunnel
Have you ever been driven to the edge of sanity and back? Being overworked, I have fun with this entry by “losing it”, making ridiculous substitutions of words (replacing various ones with “work”). Quite possibly the only “Work & My Muse” entry that you’ll ever work. Did I say work? I meant READ. Read the entry and you’ll see the joke there.
Floor 750 – Open Up and Say AHHH!!!!!
Despite this being another entry about going to the dentist, there is plenty to say “AHHH!!!!!” about. But I’ll give you a hint. It has nothing to do with going to the dentist. As per her promise, the Dark Muse is back, and things go from bad to worse. And I mean much worse. What does that Dark Muse have up her sleeve? Read this and find out…Tee hee!
Floor 777 – Lucky Day
With this special continuation of the Angel Muse saga, a special day bestows Gabrielle with an amazing amount of power. But is it enough to bring my Muse back? And with a read like this, nothing can possible go wrong. And I mean nothing. Grab your luckiest charm and read all of this. You will be glad you did.
Floor 779 – Freeze Frame
It’s Me & My Muse behind the scenes, once again. The story arc is put on hold…for now. Hilarity ensues. Read the full script of this post, and remember to be quiet on the set.
Floor 780 – All ACCORDing to Plan
I never thought this day would come, but it did. My brother finally got his own car, meaning that I don’t have to share a car with him anymore. What car did he get? I’ll let you figure that out. Or you could read this post. I suggest doing the latter.
Floor 787 – Flash Flood
Do you remember the Flood of 2015? I’m sure that you did, considering that it recently happened. Well, at least in my area that it did. With around five inches of precipitation, it was definitely the worst storm ever. Did I say a tenth of an inch? Oh no. It was WAAAAAAAY more than that. Read this, and you’ll hear more about the Monsoon.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little less than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 800th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a timid nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 800 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this eighth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 800th floor.
Like the 700th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other. Pretty much the same room as the 700th story, 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 800. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
Love,
Your Muse
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 700th floor, 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 701-800
Floor 701 – Touched By an Angel Floor 702 – Busy Wednesday Floor 703 – A Tidy Room Floor 704 – Blame it on the Rain Floor 705 – DEC Celebration in Allegan Floor 706 – Time for Fun Floor 707 – Monday Mealday Floor 708 – Double Toastmasters Tuesday Floor 709 – Time for Action Floor 710 – What are you Doing Tonight? Floor 711 – Toastmasters for Breakfast Floor 712 – Easy Saturday Floor 713 – Happy Father’s Day! Floor 714 – Green Haircut, A Blockbuster and a Friend Visit Floor 715 – Green Haircut – Part II Floor 716 – Time to Re-evaluate Floor 717 – Closing up June Floor 718 – Quick Update is Quick Floor 719 – Early Training is Early Floor 720 – Regarding Marriage – Part II: The Crumbling Foundation Floor 721 – Keeping it short Floor 722 – Another Short One… Floor 723 – Green Haircut and Final Closing Farewell Floor 724 – Long Day is Long Floor 725 – Fourth of July Eve Floor 726 – Happy Independence Day! Floor 727 – Closing Day… Floor 728 – This is all you get Floor 729 – Second year anniversary post preparations… Floor 730 – Early Weekend Floor 731 – Two Years and Counting Floor 732 – Time for bed Floor 733 – Brain Freeze: Part III Floor 734 – Financial Report Floor 735 – Dinner for 6…I mean, 7 Floor 736 – Club Visit 1 of 4: Frankenmuth Floor 737 – Back to Work Floor 738 – Club Visit 2 of 4: Saginaw Floor 739 – A Morning Shift and another Friend Visit Floor 740 – Hitting the DEC in Lansing and another Slurpee Floor 741 – Putting on my Sunday Close Floor 742 – A Day of Calm Floor 743 – Another Toastmasters Meeting Floor 744 – Another Short Entry Floor 745 – 2015 is Nothing Like the Movie Floor 746 – Wild Wild West Floor 747 – Muggy Green Hair Cut Floor 748 – 41 Hours and Counting… Floor 749 – The Work at the End of the Tunnel Floor 750 – Open Up and Say AHHH!!!!! Floor 751 – Another Shift, Another Day Off Floor 752 – End of Month Meeting Floor 753 – Friday Friend Visit Floor 754 – Sleepy Saturday Floor 755 – A Pain in the Neck Floor 756 – In the Clear… Floor 757 – Three down, one to go Floor 758 – I am Error – Printer Edition Floor 759 – New Printer Floor 760 – One More Day… Floor 761 – Dinner for 6…I mean, 7 – Part II Floor 762 – Another Brown Haircut Floor 763 – The Countdown Begins… Floor 764 – Birthday Eve Floor 765 – Happy Birthday! Floor 766 – Birthday Aftermath and Birthday Dinner – Part II Floor 767 – Double Green Haircut Floor 768 – Another Pain in the Neck Floor 769 – Another Hot Day… Floor 770 – Catching Up… Floor 771 – Good Night… Floor 772 – Day Seven… Floor 773 – At Last… Floor 774 – Eight Day Weekend Floor 775 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake! Floor 776 – Home Again Floor 777 – Lucky Day Floor 778 – Cutting to the Chase… Floor 779 – Freeze Frame Floor 780 – All ACCORDing to Plan Floor 781 – Burned Out Floor 782 – Tired… Floor 783 – Spicy Fireworks Floor 784 – Some odds and ends Floor 785 – Wow. Just Wow. Floor 786 – Tapped For Energy Floor 787 – Flash Flood Floor 788 – Another Green Haircut, Another Movie and Dessert Floor 789 – Flooded Laundry room and a Dinner Floor 790 – Labor Day Eve Floor 791 – Labor Day Floor 792 – Too Much Rain… Floor 793 – Stomach on Fire… Floor 794 – Another Green Haircut and some Chinese Floor 795 – A Day that I Still Never Forget Floor 796 – Time to Relax Floor 797 – Sunday Seraph Solitude Floor 798 – Monday Green Haircut and Networking Floor 799 – Midland Toastmasters Open House Floor 800 – Tower of Muses: The Eighth Ascent
The high today is going to be 82 degrees and the silver lining is having this 800th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 700, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How thoughtful. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…