Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1400 and a nearly identical post from Day 1300. I don’t know about you, but with it being Wednesday, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1400th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1400th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the thirteenth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1400th” to “1500th” and “twelfth” to “thirteenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 400 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1400th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 500 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1400? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1400. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1500! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a hi-tech skyscraper that someone from Coruscant would live in. An ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building designed all hi-tech,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1401st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1401st floor.
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “The Last Muse Jedi” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1500 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1412 – Saturday GoodNES…
While the typical “NES” entries indicates hanging out with my friend, this isn’t why I chose this one. My Muse has her first encounter with the Dark Muse. It’s a lightsaber fight that you don’t want to miss. Who will win? Why is the Dark Muse an adult? Read this one, and may the force be with you…
Floor 1427 – Sunny Sunday
With my Muse now a powerful Jedi, the plot thickens. What is my Muse going to do now? What’s going on with the First Order? More plot, there is! Read this one, you must!
Floor 1434 – Hot Day…
With my Muse already being a powerful Jedi, that is not enough for her. She uses her Intangible abilities to push her Midi-chlorian count beyond her maximum number. Is she going too far? What’s going to happen next? Read this one, and beware of the dark side!
Floor 1439 – …
This is quite possibly the only time that you’ll ever see an entry without a title. Yes. There is just an ellipsis. That is no mistake. And the frustration can be summed up in just two words. What are those words? Read it and find out. Unless you already did. It’s that short.
Floor 1440 – Dinner With the Family
Besides the Father’s Day dinner that I had at my grandparents, I find out something important about my Muse. Did she really? What am I talking about? I will say no more. Just read this one, and see how the wonderful story unfolds.
Floor 1446– Friday Flood
If there was anything that could be ranked as the most historic event of the summer, this tops the list. No one saw it coming and it devastated the whole area. Non stop rain and rising water levels causing the river to crest, devastating a good portion of Midland. This affected the area for several days, and will certainly go down as the flood that no one in Midland will forget. I certainly won’t forget it and neither will you when you read this. Read it, and remember the flood. The Summer Flood of 2017.
Floor 1455 – That was Just a Dream
Besides a blatant reference to R.E.M., this post is not about that song (Losing my Religion). How does a writer write himself out of a corner? It’s just a dream! How is that device applied here? Read this one and find out. Before you wake up. After all, this is a dream…or is it?
Floor 1461 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake!
Just a refreshing trip up to the lake. One complete with a stirfry dinner and s’mores! What can be better? You reading this entry, of course! Read this one and grab a marshmallow. There are plenty of s’mores to go around…
Floor 1462– Four Years and Counting
Can you believe that I have been keeping this project going for more than four years now? Neither can I. This special tribute recounts the past year of entries in poetic fashion. Read this one, and answer this question. Have you read any of those past entries? Here’s to the fourth year of Me & My Muse. And Year Five is underway.
Floor 1468 – Sunny Saturday
Besides the nice Saturday, I get an interruption that shakes my world. My Muse is captured? What happened to her turning to the dark side? What’s going on? Can she be rescued in time? Just read the entry. The plot thickens…
Floor 1471 – Toasty Tuesday
In this one, it looks like I’m seeing a ghost. Was I too late in saving my Muse? How will things go with her in the afterlife? The Jedi saga continues. Read this, and keep your lightsaber handy, just in case.
Floor 1475 – A New Hope…
In this one, the saga continues. Muse is locked in an epic lightsaber battle against the Sith Muse. Who will win? What happens next? This one is epic in every sense. Read it and get blown away. The plot gets really heavy, but good here.
Floor 1478 – 60 Years…
In this one, I celebrate the 60th Anniversary of my home club: Midland Toastmasters. That’s about it. It’s still worth a read if you want to know the significance.
Floor 1481 – A Fantastic Finish
It’s time to take the Galactic Empire down! In this one, the plan is executed. Bases get destroyed and the Empire is torn apart. Victory is within the Resistance’s grasp. Are you excited? I am. Read this, and detonate that clone trooper base on my command, okay?
Floor 1483 – More Solitude
In this entry, we tear down the last vestiges of the Empire. A man(I mean, woman)hunt is out for the Sith Muse, and my Muse is hot on her trail. But will the Sith Muse admit defeat so easily? Are there any cards left for anyone to play? This is it, folks. Read this, and enjoy the wonderful finale to the Jedi saga story arc.
Wow! It looks like I had a little less favorites than what I thought. I included a little less than last time! Maybe I should’ve expanded the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1500th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1500 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this fifteenth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1500th floor.
A little like the 1400th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her Jedi form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1500. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 1401-1500
Floor 1401 – The Last Muse Jedi Floor 1402 – Wednesday Pause… Floor 1403 – Go EAST, Young Man! Floor 1404 – Time for the Weekend… Floor 1405 – Green Haircut Weekend Floor 1406 – Happy Mother’s Day! Floor 1407 – Another Application… Floor 1408 – A Toastmasters Tuesday… Floor 1409 – Warm WedNESday Floor 1410 – Friday Prelude Floor 1411 – Friday Aftermath Floor 1412 – Saturday GoodNES… Floor 1413 – Sunday Storm Floor 1414 – Flower Exercise Floor 1415 – First Petal is Complete! Floor 1416 – Petals Two and Three are done… Floor 1417 – Fourth Petal and a Movie… Floor 1418 – Taking a Break From Flowers… Floor 1419 – Tired Saturday Floor 1420 – Another Green Haircut and Lots of Shopping Floor 1421 – Memorial Day NES… Floor 1422 – The Petal of Knowledge Floor 1423 – The Money Petal Floor 1424 – Final Petal, Final Destination Floor 1425 – Hooray for Friday! Floor 1426 – Green Haircut Marathon Floor 1427 – Sunny Sunday Floor 1428 – Where’s that Flower? Floor 1429 – Toastmasters Tuesday Floor 1430 – Phew! It’s Over… Floor 1431 – Crisis… Floor 1432 – Weekend… Floor 1433 – Clean Car… Floor 1434 – Hot Day… Floor 1435 – Productive Day… Floor 1436 – A Little Exhausted… Floor 1437 – Do I Have to? Floor 1438 – A Much Better Thursday… Floor 1439 – … Floor 1440 – Dinner With the Family Floor 1441 – Happy Father’s Day! Floor 1442 – Melancholy Monday Floor 1443 – Terrific Tuesday Floor 1444 – WedNESday: Summer Edition Floor 1445 – Chill Thursday… Floor 1446 – Friday Flood Floor 1447 – Early Training is Early Floor 1448 – A Sunday Calm… Floor 1449 – Birthday NESday Floor 1450 – MadNES… Floor 1451 – Phew! Floor 1452 – Green Haircut Time! Floor 1453 – Fiscal New Year’s Eve Floor 1454 – Serene Saturday Floor 1455 – That was just a Dream Floor 1456 – Fourth of July Eve Floor 1457 – Happy Independence Day! Floor 1458 – Leftover Fireworks Floor 1459 – Time to Pack Floor 1460 – Pre-Trip Checklist Floor 1461 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake! Floor 1462 – Four Years and Counting Floor 1463 – MonNES… Floor 1464 – Brain Freeze: Part V Floor 1465 – Wednesday Whirlwind Floor 1466 – Green Haircut – Now with 79% more Humidity! Floor 1467 – Friday Just in Time Floor 1468 – Sunny Saturday Floor 1469 – Sunday Respite Floor 1470 – Palindrome Monday Floor 1471 – Toasty Tuesday Floor 1472 – A Quick Version of Wednesday Floor 1473 – Friday Eve… Floor 1474 – Fryday Floor 1475 – A New Hope… Floor 1476 – Sunday Screening Floor 1477 – Spinach Dip & Crackers Floor 1478 – 60 Years… Floor 1479 – Long at Work… Floor 1480 – Quick Start Floor 1481 – A Fantastic Finish Floor 1482 – Weekend WarmNES… Floor 1483 – More Solitude Floor 1484 – Dressed for Success Floor 1485 – Third Meeting in a Row… Floor 1486 – The Calm Before the Storm… Floor 1487 – Northward Bound Floor 1488 – Greetings From Hubbard Lake! Floor 1489 – Greetings FRom Hubbard Lake! Part Two Floor 1490 – Back Home… Floor 1491 – NESday Monday Floor 1492 – A Change of Plans… Floor 1493 – Wednesday Summary Floor 1494 – EAST, then North Floor 1495 – Birthday Eve Floor 1496 – Happy Birthday! Floor 1497 – Birthday Aftermath Floor 1498 – Good Afternoon! Floor 1499 – Mid-August Toast Floor 1500 – Tower of Muses: The Fifteenth Ascent
The high today is going to be 80 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1500th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1400, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…