Me & My Muse – Day 1000: Tower of Muses: The Tenth Ascent

Number 1000

This is it.  Here we go.

Let’s try this out.  If this doesn’t work, you will never see one of these again.  And by these, I mean a post commemorating a millennial milestone.

In a way, I actually am telling the truth.  There is only one 1,000.  And there won’t be another milestone like this until 10,000.

And…let’s see.  How did I ever start one of these in the first place?  How about this?

Creativity.  It is the driving force in the realm of imagination.  Concepts are snowballed together and tightly packed together.  The best ideas are used and seen by all.  They are masterpieces in art galleries.  They are TV shows, movies, music, novels and every form of expression you can think of.

These savory ideas are the gadgets that we use in our everyday lives.  They are the cellphones that we use to communicate with our family and friends.  They are the summer blockbusters that we see in the movie theaters.  They are the best-selling novels that we read while we contently bask in the sun at the beach on a hot summer day.  Whether that novel is it’s original paper form or on a tablet, it all started with one idea.

The things we use.  The clothes we wear.  The packaged food that we…


Muse:  Kyle!  Come on!  Am I really seeing this?

Seeing what?  What are you talking about?

Muse:  I can not believe it.  Seriously!  This is entry 1000.  Why would you try to recycle your very first post?

Why not?  Recycling it for this occasion is an excellent idea.  After all, it’s ExperiMENTAL!

Muse:  I see what you did there.  Tee hee…

Is that all you got?

Muse:  What do you mean?

The way that you said “Tee hee”.  You didn’t sound very excited.

Muse:  What else would I do?  It was a really lame pun.

Don’t worry.  I have worse…

Muse:  Please spare me the worse ones!  For my sake and the audience…

Speaking of the audience, do we even have one?

Muse:  Absolutely!  You’ve seen the occasional activity on your Facebook, haven’t you?  “The Walker Estate has 1 new view”.

I saw that.  Your views do not count.

Muse: Ha ha! Nice try.  Now before we bore our audience to sleep,  why don’t you come with me?  I have something to show you…It’s actually kind of exciting…Tee hee!

There!  You said it, and you meant it this time.

Muse: *gives me a kiss on the cheek*  Just follow me.  I have something fun to show you!

And just like that, Kyle followed his Muse into his bedroom.  Not that I would know where this is going, mind you.  But do go on!  This is getting to be quite exciting…

Muse:  Who said that?

It sounded like that narrator.  You know the one…

Muse:  Him again?  Hurry.  Let’s ditch him before he ruins this post.  We only get one shot!

And just like that, my Muse held out her right hand, which began to glow with a bright light.  With that light, she tossed it at a wall in my room.  The light intensified and grew, becoming a flash.  This flash nearly blinded my eyes, so I had to look back for a second.

When l looked back again, the flash had faded into a bright glow.  A door sat there.  A door that looked familiar.  A door that sat in the middle of my bedroom, not attached to any wall.  A door that begged to be opened.

Excuse me!  Who’s trying to tell the story here?  Why I like to think that I do a mighty fine job in narrating, thank you very much!  What’s wrong with me helping on such a magnificent milestone?

I’m very sorry, Mr. Narrator, but we’re trying to ditch you.

Ditch me?  Why would you do such a thing?

Why?  You’re a nuisance.  We really want this one to be special, so keep your distance.

Keep…My distance?  Oh dear.  I don’t know what to say!  That’s too bad.  I know how important this day is to you.  I just wanted to be a part of it.  Very well, then.  I know when I’m not wanted…

Muse:  No.  You can stay.  Just don’t be a nuisance…

Don’t worry about that!  I’m master narrator extraordinaire and I know exactly when to step in.  Carry on, now.

Now where were we?

Muse:  I just created a door in your room.  Let’s go through it!  Come on!

My Muse grabbed me by the hand and took me through the mysterious door that sat in the middle of my room.  Like a familiar door that I have seen before, it was clearly a dimensional portal that was linked to another world.  A distant land that I have visited numerous times now.

This door was the same one that you have seen in every one of these milestone posts.  So why is my Muse so excited this time?  She pulled me through the door and I was amazed.

What I saw in the distance was a glamorous city.  As she let me through the city, I noticed something peculiar.  This city didn’t have normal residents.  It was a city full of Muses.  Various different Muses that I have seen in my past entries.  Older Muses and younger Muses.  Regular Muses and Dark Muses.  Muses all living together in a shimmering cosmopolitan city, with skyscrapers all arranged in various designs.

“Oh look!” I shouted.  “A city!”

And whizzing right past me was a Muse in some weird steam-powered jetpack.  “An invention!” I cried.

My Muse glanced into the sky and saw a jet airliner flying over downtown.  “An airplane!” she shouted.

Then we walked by a pond that marked the entrance to a picturesque city park.  I saw a pair of koi swimming together.  I pointed to one of them.  “Look!” I shouted.  “A fish!”

As we made our way past the pond, we both heard a scream.

“Watch where you’re going!” a tiny voice shouted.

My Muse gasped, noticing that she almost stepped on a woman who was only three inches tall.  “Look Kyle!” she said, smiling.  “A borrower!”

We glanced at the sprawling city park.  The vast acreage carved out a peaceful haven in the middle of all the hustle and bustle that went on in the busy Muse city.  In the center of this park was an oddly shaped castle, that moved around on robotic legs.

Having just noticed the castle, I got my Muse’s attention.  “Do you see it?” I asked her.  “It’s a castle!”

She nodded.  “And it’s moving, too!”

Next to the castle was a building that sat at the eastern edge of the vast city park.  It was a building with steam flowing out of it.  It looked Japanese and was ornately decorated.

“A bathhouse!” My Muse gasped.  Then she gave me a playful nudge and held me close in her arms.  “Do you like this city? I made it just for you.”

I nodded.  “It’s much different than the vast field that I always see.”

She opened her arm and we held hands, walking toward a small cafe.

A Muse barista with purple glasses stood there, eagerly waiting for business.  “May I help you?” she asked, hoping that we would buy something.

My Muse nodded.  “Two extra strong espressos, with plenty of creme and make them vanilla.”

The spectacled Muse barista nodded and quickly prepared our drinks.

A smirk came across my face.  “Why are we having coffee?” I asked her.  “Coffee is NOT for Muses!”

My Muse gave me a slap in the face, and then smiled.  “Why not?” she challenged me.  “Just because one of your earlier blog titles says so?”

The Muse barista handed her the espresso that she asked for and she began slowly sipping it.  “That wasn’t me by the way…”

I recalled the coffee entry that I wrote from a long time ago.  “It was the bad idea, right?”

She nodded. “Come.  I have more to show you.  Don’t forget your coffee!”

I grabbed my cup and followed her through the city.

As we reached the end, the skyscrapers began to diminish and I noticed a field with a looming tower in the distance.  The tower sat in the field, outside the city, like a shy outcast.  The tower dwarfed the valley and the skyline.  It was like the tower was the mother, and the city were the many children that stood there, in the form of numerous shining skyscrapers.

After sipping down half my coffee, I pointed to the tower.  “That tower…” I gasped.  “That’s the Tower of Muses, isn’t it?”

She nodded.  “We’re going there.  That’s the last thing that I made, besides the city.  I hope you enjoy it.”

As we walked through the field, through the night lit sky, I noticed the field began to glow.  Various different flowers flashed their majestic glows as we walked by them.  After that, the flowers all lit up in unison and went out in unison.  A tidal wave of glowing color crashing against the shore.

And then, I heard it.  The ambient music that reflected the majesty of the field.  It was like a dream, transposed into musical notes.  A symphony conveying the peaceful mood of the evening.  The calm tranquil flowers in the lush green field, with the enormous tower watching over them.

We walked forward through the field.  The Muse city getting smaller and smaller and the tower getting bigger and bigger.  Moments later, we were standing right in front of it.

It was a pure white tower.  Whiter than than any white that you have ever seen.  Gold spirals were decorated all around it, with a grand turnstile serving as the entrance.

And just like that, Kyle was overcome with ecstasy.  He could not contain the level of excitement that he had inside of him.  He had so much excitement he could make a whole army of soldiers excited. And before he could even explode with excitement, his Muse took him through the grand turnstile and they both entered…

Nicely timed, narrator!  Just chime in like that and you’ll be fine.

Muse:  Yes.  You can interrupt, but just don’t be too intrusive.

Why thank you!  I will make a note of that!  And just like that, both Kyle and his Muse both praised the narrator on his perfectly timed narration.  But as to not slow the progression of the story any further, the narrator decided to be quiet and allow the two to continue the flow of this wonderful and amazing milestone post.

Well said.  After leaving the turnstile with my Muse, I glanced around the lobby and took it all in.  It was not like the lobby that I have experienced in the previous nine editions.  It was a grand lobby, continuing the pure white theme from outside.  Pure white with pure gold outlining the walls and furniture.

There was a sitting area, with a white loveseat and a few white lounge chairs.  Each chair was outlined in pure gold with a few chestnut oak coffee tables scattered around.

Just ahead of the sitting area sat the grand reception desk.  One large reception desk sat in the center with a ring of nine reception desks encircling it.  Each desk was pure white, with solid gold bows lining the sides.  And like all the previous editions, each desk was occupied by a busy Muse, hard at work, each making rapid strokes on the keyboard.

Out of curiosity, I called the attention of the receptionists. “Might I ask who’s in charge?”

The one in the center desk responded.  “That would be me.  Tee hee!”

I glanced at the circle of desks that surrounded hers.  “What about the others?”

“They all work for me,” she answered.  “Do you want me to introduce you to them?”

“Please do,” I told her.

The Muse receptionist in the center desk got the attention of the other nine Muses.  “Workers!” she shouted.  “Say your name and title for Kyle please!  Tee hee!”

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses!” the first one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Second Ascent!” the second one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Third Ascent!” the third one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fourth Ascent!” the fourth one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Fifth Ascent!” the fifth one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Sixth Ascent!” the sixth one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Seventh Ascent!” the seventh one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Eighth Ascent!” the eighth one shouted.

“Muse receptionist from Tower of Muses: The Ninth Ascent!” the last one shouted.

My Muse nodded.  “All of them are receptionists from all the past towers that I made.”

“That’s right!” The Muse in the center desk shouted.  “All of them are here for the big celebration.  I asked them to leave their towers and come work for me!  Tee hee!”

“What about the Eleventh Ascent?” I asked her.

“They will all be back in their own towers!” she answered.  “It will just be her!  Tee hee!

Nodding, I glanced at the Tenth Ascent receptionist.  “I know this tower has more bells and whistles, but is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her.

My Muse shook her head again and smiled.  “No, silly!  This tower is a little different.  And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 901st floor!”

I nodded, with a slight grin on my face.  And this was mainly due to the deja vu from all the previous nine editions of this tower that I have experienced in the past.  “And this floor is still…”

“Floor 1,” she recited.  “ExperiMENTAL.  Tee hee…”

I was about to approach the teleporter, but my Muse thrust her hands against my side.  “No! Wait!” she shouted.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“Let’s take the long scenic route!” she said with a glowing smile.

“Scenic? Tee hee?” the center Muse receptionist said, grinning.  “Normally, the elevators here take you up 100 floors.  Then you have to go to the next elevators to go up 100 more floors…”

“No!” I shouted.  “Don’t you have something more simple?”

“Tee hee!” she sighed.  “I wasn’t finished!  Now, normally you would have to keep going up 100 floors.  But there’s some special elevators in the back that will take you up all the way to the 901st floor!  Just enter the floor on the touch screen and it will take you there!  It’s the latest!  Tee hee!”

“We’ll use those elevators, then.” I told her.  “Thanks!”

The center Muse receptionist nodded.  “Anytime!  Tee hee!  Have fun!”

I followed my Muse to the special elevators in the back.  They had glass doors and you could see through them.

“You could’ve asked me, and I could’ve told you about the special elevators!” she said, playfully nudging me.  “After all, I designed this…Now Kyle, quick!”

I nodded, and approached the elevator panel.  The urgency was on her face.  She wanted to kiss me.  I could tell.  But she didn’t want her day one counterparts to hear anything.

I quickly pressed the up button and one of the eight elevators instantly opened.  She pressed 10 on the touch screen and then enter.  The elevator doors closed and she began to kiss me on the lips incessantly.

“Easy!” I shouted.  “There are people watching!”

“I don’t care.” she said, between kisses.  “You deserve it.  The only one that has ever kissed you was your mother.  Don’t you want to be kissed by a woman?”

I nodded.  “Yes.” I told her.  “A real woman.”

She cupped her hand underneath my chin.  “You’re real to me in this world.  I made this tower and you made me.  Don’t you want to be with me?  You need some serious dating practice.  What kind of real woman would want to be with you if you’re ill equipped?  Practice your affections on me.”

I nodded.  “Okay.  Kissing only. But the clothes stay on!”

She nodded.  “That would be embarrassing, Kyle.  I am not going to embarrass you.  Although I am a fictional character, I am very modest.”

The elevator floor dinged and it opened.

“Floor 10?” I smiled.  “Why do we need to get more coffee?  Afterall, Coffee is NOT for Muses!”

She nodded.  “But I LOVE coffee!  Now, are you going to deny me of my craving for coffee?”

I shook my head.  “Very well…let’s make it quick!”

We walked up to a Starbucks cafe and a Muse took her order.  She was about to order 2 Venti vanilla cappuccinos, but I stopped her.

“One!” I told her.  “I don’t want any coffee this time…”

She shook her head.  “If you don’t want yours, I’ll drink it!  More for me!”

The Muse barista gave my Muse two Venti vanilla cappuccinos and she began drinking both of them in front of me.

“Okay.” I told her.  “That’s enough.  Too much and we’ll have to stop at a bathroom…”

She finished both cappuccinos and smiled.  She threw both cups away and stared at me with her caffeine induced smile.

“One more!” she shouted.  She ordered the same thing as before and drank it in front of me.

“Enough.” I told her.  “You are going to pee your pants.”

She shook her head.  “A few more…”

“I think you have a problem,” I told her.

She ignored me and drank down three more cups.

After she ordered five more and drank them, I stopped her from ordering anymore.  “Stop!” I told her.  “You have a serious addiction to coffee!”

“No I don’t!” she shouted.  “Don’t you feel it?  It’s amazing!  It’s exciting!  The energy! The thrill! The excitement! The ecstasy!  The burst of energy I get from every cup!  I love it!  It’s great! It’s exciting! It’s grand! It’s awesome!  Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! I love coffee!  I love co…

My Muse collapsed on the ground and began to have an accident.  Her accident formed a large puddle all over the ground.

Everyone.  I will be right back.  I am not going to gross you out with any additional details.

*a few minutes later*

There.  I got My Muse into some new clothes but she’s still unconscious.  I’ll get her to the elevator.  I think that this floor is affecting her in some way…

I carried my Muse in my arms and took her back to the elevator.  I pressed the up button and entered the elevator.  I then sat my Muse on the floor.  I pressed 14 on the touch screen and pressed enter.  The elevator door closed and she woke up.

“Kyle?” she gasped.  “I’m very sorry.  That floor…It had a very weird affect on me…”

“I could tell!” I told her.  “When we had coffee in that city, you didn’t act like that at all!”

She nodded.  “It was definitely that floor.  It was like I was a totally different person.  I can’t really explain it.  That was so embarrassing…”

The floor dinged and it opened once again.  The music from “Resistance” began playing.

While I heard the music playing, I heard another Muse joyfully singing along.

Muse: It could be wrong, could be wrong but it should have been right!

My Muse glanced at me and smiled.  “I love that song!” She glanced at the Muse that was still singing the song.  “You.  Would you like to come with us?”

Muse:  Sure!  Can I bring my phone with me?  There’s only one song on the playlist.  “Love is our Resistance!”

Wow.  You really love that song!  You can come along.

The Muse began playing “Resistance” for a second time and got on the elevator with us.

She then ran up to the touch screen and pressed 78, and then enter.

Being a little hazy on my floors, I tried to think what floor 78 was.  I racked my brain all the while the other Muse was singing “Resistance” and dancing to the beat.

My Muse tried to help me out.  “Could it be?”

Ding!  The elevator door opened and we left it.

How did we get here in the first place?  Our brains flipped around.  Just like last time, we’ll leave in reverse! I know!  How do we leave if everything is backwards?

And everything was backwards since we were on the “Stuck in Reverse” floor.  When we tried to leave, we couldn’t, since we came to the realization that everything was backwards.  Was it that Muse from the 14th floor?  Who pressed that button?  I don’t want to be here!  This is not the right floor!  The Muse from the 14th floor pressed 84 on the touch screen and then enter.  Knowing this, me, my Muse and the other Muse re-entered the elevator.  The “Stuck in Reverse” floor.  We were on the 78th floor.  It was just as I feared.

Being once again surprised, the elevator moved upwards.  As it moved towards the 84 floor, me and my Muse exchanged glances.

“Why are we going to the 84th floor?” I asked her.

“I know,” she said, smiling.  “That’s the ‘Baby Muse’ floor.  I don’t really want to deal with a child right now…”

Just as the words left her mouth, the elevator dinged and opened.

The baby Muse, looking shy, walked in bashfully. She sat down, and smiled.  “Uh oh!” she shouted.

I glanced down and noticed why she said it.  A drop of urine dripped down from under her dress to the floor.  Uh oh indeed!

I glanced at my Muse, who shook her head.

“I’m not changing her!” she shouted.

“Don’t worry!” the other Muse shouted.  “I will.”

The other Muse stopped her music.  “It’s okay.” she told us.  “I’m going to be babysitting her.  It’s going to be fun!”  She removed her clothes and began to change her diaper.

While that was going on, I decided where I wanted to go next.  I pressed 182 on the touch screen and pressed enter.  The elevator continued moving upward.

Just as the other Muse finished putting on the baby Muse’s diaper, she lept up and began running around.  As it was, the other Muse had to pin her to the ground a few times, as she tried to squirm away.

“Wait!” The other Muse shouted.  “I need to get your pants on!”

“I fine with this, mommy!” she shouted.

She shook her head.  “But you need some pants!”

But she shook her head and laughed.  “I fine with this, mommy!”

As that Muse was losing in her efforts to catch the baby Muse, the elevator continued going up.

Ding!  Suddenly, the elevator stopped, just as the other Muse caught the baby Muse.

“Gotcha!” she shouted.  She put her pants on and then her socks.

I glanced at the floor number.  138B.  Wait a second!  I didn’t stop the elevator.

Another Muse got on.  A much younger one, who looked like she was five.

“Tee hee!” she shouted.  I’m back!”

My Muse gasped.  “S-stay away from me!”

That’s when I realized that the little girl Muse was the Dark Muse.

“Leave her alone!” I shouted.

The Dark Muse advanced forward.  “What am I doing wrong? I just wanted to visit my home.  Tee hee!”

“No!” My Muse shouted.  “Get away…”

The Dark Muse entered her.

“Get out of her this instant!” I shouted.

At this, the baby Muse started to cry.

“It’s okay.” the other Muse said, consoling her.

“I like it here.  Tee hee!” My Muse said.

And suddenly, my Muse became five years old.

I glared at her with anger.  “Leave her this instant or I will make you!” I shouted.

“Make me!” My Muse shouted.

Meeting her challenge, I used my Master’s Privileges to reach into my Muse and pull out the Dark Muse.

“Tee hee!” she shouted.  “Hey! What are you doing? Put me down!  Tee hee!”

“Leave her alone and apologize.” I demanded.

“Okay!” she shouted.  “I’m sorry.  I just wanted to visit my home.  Okay?” *sniff* *sniff*

Ding!  The elevator stopped on the 182nd floor and the doors opened.  Me, my Muse got off with the other Muse and baby Muse.

“I’m going to the 1000th floor!” the Dark Muse told us.  “See you there! Tee hee!”

The elevator door closed, leaving all of us in a vast area filled with snow.

“Hey!” the other Muse shouted playfully to the baby Muse.  “Let’s go play in the snow! Okay?”

“Okay!” the baby Muse said, smiling.

The other Muse used her Intangible abilities to create warm clothes for the baby Muse to wear.  A warm coat, snow pants, boots, gloves and a scarf.

Meanwhile, my Muse glanced at me with a puzzled look on her face.  “Why are we here?” she asked me.

I wiped the sweat off my brow.  “I just needed to cool off.” I told her.  “Anyway, using a snow blower still is NOT cheating!”

She nodded.  “But we don’t have to shovel this snow! Let’s go.”

I nodded, and followed my Muse back to the elevator.  She pressed the up button.  The elevator door opened to the right of us and we both entered it.

My Muse walked over to the touch screen and pressed some buttons.  The elevator doors closed and it continued upward.

“What floor did you put in?” I asked her.

My Muse smiled.  “It’s a surprise,” she told me.  “You’ll see…”

I embraced my Muse, and we held each other in our hands.  Moments later, the elevator stopped.  Ding!

I glanced at the floor number.  Floor 221.  Happy Hallmark Day.

Suddenly, a Muse stood there, greeting both of us.  She was holding a big heart-shaped box of chocolates.  She handed the box to me.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Kyle!” she said, smiling.

I looked at the calendar.  It’s not actually Valentine’s Day, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings…

“Thanks,” I told her.

She glanced at the Muse that I was with.  “You two have fun on the way up! The chocolates are for both of you.”

“Why thanks!” told her.

By the time that those words left my mouth, my Muse already had two chocolates in her mouth.

“What?” she said, with her mouth full of chocolates.  “She said that they were for both of us, right?”

I smiled and gave her a kiss.  “You wanted to stop on this floor to get some chocolates.  Am I right?”

My Muse smiled, shaking her head.  “Um-um…”

“Admit it!” I told her, giving her another kiss.

She nodded.  “I was in the mood for chocolate, so why not?” She then glanced at the touch screen.  “Where to next?”

With that question posed to me, I quickly began thinking of where we could go next.  I then thought of my old phone that I used to have.  How about that floor?  I pressed 348 on the touch screen and pressed enter.

“Have fun!” the Muse on the 221st floor told us.  The two doors closed and we were off.

A little while later, the elevator stopped, but it was no where near the floor I chose.  Someone else stopped it, and it was on the 261st floor.

Another Muse got on.  This Muse was five years old and looked like a brat.

“Out of my way!” The Dark Muse sassed.

I sighed.  “What are you doing here?”

The Dark Muse closed her eyes.  “It’s a surprise, and I’m not telling!  Tee hee!

The elevator continued upward, and I glanced at my Muse, who was rather quiet about this whole matter.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” I asked her.

My Muse smiled.  “She won’t bother us.  I can assure you.  Isn’t that right?”

The Dark Muse nodded.  “She paid me good money to be nice to you so you better be grateful!”

I frowned.  “Good money?  What is this all about?”

My Muse wrapped her arm around my shoulder.  “Don’t you know what’s going on?  I’ve shown you that city and I’ve shown you this tower.  Must I tell you anymore?  Just wait and see!

The elevator stopped again.  It was the 311th floor.  Another Dark Muse got on, but took slow and bashful steps.

The other Dark Muse sighed.  “Come on!” she shouted.  “You don’t need to be shy!  We’ll have a lot of fun!  I promise!  Tee hee!”

The shy Dark Muse nodded, and walked toward the back of the elevator.  She sat down and closed her eyes, trying to avoid eye contact with any of us.

“Whoa!” I shouted.  “It’s a good thing that I have Master’s Privileges!  Otherwise, I would be losing all that confidence!”

The elevator moved upward and finally stopped on the floor that I entered.  The 348th floor.

Me and my Muse both got off, while the two Dark Muses stayed on.

“See you at the top!” the bratty Dark Muse shouted.

The elevator door closed and it was just me and My Muse.  On the “New Phone” floor, my Muse decided to get a new phone for herself.  She turned on her phone and began downloading a bunch of apps.

“Let’s go,” I told her.

“Hang on,” my Muse told me.  “I need to update my Facebook status.”

“Can you put that phone down?” I said, growing impatient.  “You never had a phone before!”

She nodded.  “I know!  But all my friends have one, and now I need one!”  She continued pressing buttons and staring at the screen.

I pressed the up button on the elevator.  The door opened.  “Let’s go!” I shouted.

“Hang on!” My Muse shouted.  “I need to take another selfie!”

The elevator door closed.  I pressed the up button and it opened again.  “Let’s go!”

“I just need to send this to a few of my friends!” she told me.  “And…wait!  One of them just invited me to a Snapchat.  Hang on!”

That did it.  I yanked the phone out of her hand and smashed it against the floor.

“Hey!” she shouted.  “What did you do that for! Now I’ll have to get another one!”

“Oh no you don’t!” I argued.   I grabbed hold of her hand and tugged her into the elevator.  I pressed 471 on the touch screen and pressed enter.  The elevator doors closed and it moved upward.

My Muse hugged me.  “Thanks Kyle. I don’t know what came over me.  It was like that Coffee floor.  It was so weird…”

A minute later, the elevator stopped again, but on the 401st floor. A different Muse got on the elevator.  She was smiling, and she walked on gracefully.

The elevator continued upward.  The other Muse looked at me with a friendly smile.  “Hi Kyle!” she said politely.  “I’m the receptionist from the 401st floor.  How has your day been going so far?  If you need any prayer, just let me know.”

My Muse whispered something into her ear.  Upon hearing this, she nodded.  “Okay…” she whispered back.  “I will definitely pray about that!” She then looked at me.  “Kyle, do you need any prayer?  Just give me your request and I will pray for you.”

I nodded.  “Pray that we have a safe trip up.  This tower is pretty tall.  More than two miles tall…”

The virtuous Muse nodded.  “Definitely.  Let’s all hold hands and close our eyes.”

We all followed her directions and she began her prayer.

“Dear heavenly father,” she prayed.  “Thank you for this wonderful day that you have blessed us with.  Thank you for Kyle and his Muse, and the wonderful friendship that they have been able to share with each other.  As we make our journey to the top of this tower, bless all of us with a safe journey.  Should any troubles await us, give us the patience, courage and strength to overcome these troubles.  Thank you for your son, Jesus Christ dying on the cross for all of us.  Thank you for your love and mercy that you have lavished on each one of us.  Bless us with your presence and bless us with your love.  We all ask this in Jesus name, Amen.”

“Amen.” both me and my Muse repeated.

The elevator finally stopped. Ding!

It was the 471st floor.  The door opened and I got off with my Muse.  The virtuous Muse stayed on the elevator.

“Have a blessed day!” the virtuous Muse shouted.  “I’ll see both of you later!”

After the elevator door closed, I glanced at my Muse.  “Do you know why I’m here?” I asked her.

She gave me a curious stare.  “Why?”

I scooped up a handful of leftover game pieces from the Monopoly at McDonald’s contest.  “I’m hungry.” I told her.

I gave her a few game pieces and we both walked to a nearby McDonald’s.  A Muse waited on us and we used nothing but game pieces to buy our meal.  We both used “Free Any Large Sandwich”, “Free Medium Fry” and “Free Regular McFlurry” for dessert.  The only thing that we had to pay for was our medium drinks.

I finished my Reese’s McFlurry and threw it away.  “Are you done?”

My Muse finished her Oreo McFlurry and threw it away.  “Yup!  Let’s go.”

We both got back in the elevator and I sighed.  “At this rate, we’ll never get to the top.  It’s time to cut to the chase!” I pressed 777 on the touch screen and pressed enter.

The elevator continued upward.

My Muse gave me a curious glance.  “What if we keep stopping on other floors?  You won’t get to floor 777 right away.”

“Don’t say that.” I pleaded.

She grinned.  “Why not?”

“Because if you do, then it will happen.”

Right after I said that, the elevator stopped.  Floor 524.  Ding!

“See?” I told her.  “You jinxed it.”

“Tee hee!” A Muse shouted.  “Jinx what? Merry Christmas!  Tee hee!”

A fairy Muse flew inside the elevator and it continued upward.

The fairy Muse frowned at me.  “Now what is this jinx you’re talking about? Tee hee!”

“First, tell me why you said ‘Merry Christmas!’,” I demanded.  “It’s April, for goodness sake!”

“Well on my floor, it’s still December, okay?” the fairy Muse answered.  “Now spill it about this jinx thing!”

Ding!  The elevator stopped again on the 549th floor.

“That,” I pointed out.  “My Muse told me that we would keep stopping on floors and I wouldn’t get to my floor right away.”

A Dark Muse got onto the elevator and smiled.  “A fairy home?  This will be fun to live in!  Tee hee!”

The elevator moved upward, and the fairy Muse flew up towards the ceiling of the elevator.

“You’re an annoying little girl!”  the fairy Muse shouted.  “Get away! Tee hee!”

But the Dark Muse didn’t give up.  She jumped up and entered the fairy Muse.

The fairy Muse then flashed briefly.  “I’m home! Tee hee!”

The fairy Muse (who was already tiny to begin with) shrank as she transformed into a five-year old.  “There! Tee hee!  Now I’m acting my age!”

The elevator once again stopped.  Only this time, the door didn’t open.  What’s going on?

The elevator door began to ice over, with icicles forming on the ceiling.

My Muse gasped.  “I believe that it has something to do with where we are.  Look!”

I looked at the floor number.  We were on the 591st floor.  If memory serves me right, that is the “BRRR!!!!” floor.

“Wasn’t that the day where it got to minus 1?” my Muse asked me.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m c-c-c-COLD! Tee hee!” the fairy Muse shouted.  “Let me out of here!”

The fairy Muse flew up to the door, which was becoming more and more frozen.  The ice that was on the door began spreading outward, toward the floors and the walls of the elevator.

“The door’s frozen shut!” I shouted.  “Let’s get out of here quick before this becomes a giant ice cube!”

I glanced at the fairy Muse and sighed.  “Can’t you use your fairy powers to thaw the ice?”

My Muse looked at me, almost laughing.  “Can’t you use YOUR Master’s privileges to thaw the ice?”

My face turned red with embarrassment.  “Oh yeah…”

The fairy Muse smiled.  “That’s right! Tee hee!  Here I go!  And thaw!  Wait? Why isn’t it working?   Oh yeah!  Mommy told me this!  You have to make a wish first! Tee hee!”

I shook my head.  “Forget that.” I told her.   “I’m using my privileges to thaw the ice!”

I used my Master’s Privileges and waved my hand at the frozen elevator.  All the ice melted.  The door was still closed.

“Open!” I shouted, using the privileges.

The door immediately opened.  “Now I’ll…wait!” I gasped.  “This isn’t right…”

“The elevator isn’t lined up with the next floor!” my Muse shouted.

I glanced at the fairy Muse.  “Here,” I told her.  “I wish that you could fly us both up the elevator shaft to the 591st floor!”

“Um Kyle?” my Muse smiled.  “I’m Intangible, so I can fly!”

“It’s too late!” the fairy Muse shouted.  “He made the wish! Tee hee!  Your wish is my command! Tee hee!”

The fairy Muse flew us both a few feet up the elevator shaft to the 591st floor and opened the door.  On her way back down to the elevator, she looked up.  “A bunch of the cables are all icy!  Tee hee!”

“WHAT?” I gasped.  “The entire elevator shaft is starting to freeze!”

I glanced around the floor, which was a Winter wonderland full of ice and snow.  Not so for the elevator shaft.  I used my privileges to thaw the elevator shaft.

“Unfreeze!” I shouted.

Chunks of slush and water began falling downward.  And just like that, the cables started working again.  The elevator moved upward without stopping.

“Wait!” I shouted.  “That was our elevator…” I pressed the up button. “I guess we’ll have to catch another one…”

Another elevator opened and we entered it.  I pressed 777 on the touch screen and pressed enter.

The elevator moved upward, and my Muse gasped.

“Kyle!” she gasped.

“What?” I said, frowning.  “What are you so worried about?”

“We’re in the 600’s!” she shouted.  “What it we encounter that evil Muse?”

Just as she finished that sentence, the elevator stopped again.  That’s my Muse, having perfect timing like usual!

On the 654th floor, the elevator door opened.  A new Dark Muse stepped on, and she had a very devious look on her face.

“Hello!” she shouted.  “Let’s play a game! If you don’t play a game with me, I will crush you!  Tee hee!”

The elevator sped upward.  Before I could even begin any game with her.  The elevator stopped again.  Ding!

The elevator stopped on floor 666.

The Dark Muse flashed a bright, glowing crimson color.  “Ahhh…HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!” she shouted gleefully.

She morphed into a gruesome creature.  Her head became like that of a fearsome dragon with scales all over her.  Five additional heads emerged out and began hissing like venomous vipers.

“HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!” she shouted.  “I will kill you!  I will kill you all!”

She made the elevator we were in vanish and we were in a different realm.  The realm of the 666th floor.

In this realm, both me and my Muse, seemed to be floating on air.  Her form now looked gigantic, with us looking like tiny specs to her.

She made us fly forward, towards her.  “HISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Time to kill some ants!  Ha ha ha ha ha!!!”

My Muse hid herself in my arms.  “Quick Kyle!” she shouted.  “What are we going to do?”

“Don’t worry,” I told her.  “I’ve got some thing planned.”  I waved my hands at the room.  FLASH!

“Ha!” she laughed.  “What did you do?  I didn’t see a single thing change!  Now, it’s time to die!”

Just as she was about to use her powers, her energy began to fade.

“Into the abyss with you!” I shouted.  “And stay there!”

The Evil Muse was flung into the abyss, with the dimensional vortex closing behind her.  “NOOOOOOOO!!!”

I brushed my hands off and smiled. “That was easy!”

My Muse kissed me and laughed.  “What did you do?”

“When you saw that flash, I made the 666th floor the 667th floor.” I told her.  “With that small change, she lost most of her power.  Now, let’s get to the 777th floor already!”

We walked to the elevator doors and my Muse pressed the up button.  We got on another elevator and I pressed the 777 and enter once again on the touch screen.

The elevator continued its ascent.  With all the troubles that I have experienced so far, I closed my eyes, praying that we would stop on the 777th floor this time…

Ding!  I opened my eyes.  Was I right?

I looked at the floor.  It was the 750th floor.  Almost!

Another Dark Muse got on, with this one looking like an angel.  The elevator door closed and we continued our upward journey.

The Dark Angel Muse looked at my Muse and smiled.  “You may not be an angel, but you look yummy! Tee hee!”

My Muse backed away from her.  “Stay away!” she shouted.  “You already have the power of three Muses, and you’re not about to get a fourth one!

Ignoring her, the Dark Angel Muse absorbed my Muse into her and she grew and flashed brightly.

“So yummy! Tee hee!” she shouted.


The elevator finally stopped on the 777th floor.  However, with my Muse trapped inside the Dark Angel Muse, I will have to get her back first.

I got off the elevator and found Gabrielle.  She was flashing very brightly, since it was the “Day of 777”.

“Gabrielle!” I shouted.  “We need to stop the Dark Angel Muse before she…”

“Tee hee!” the Dark Angel Muse shouted.  “Another angel!  Tee hee!”

“Don’t worry!” Gabrielle said, smiling.  “It’s the ‘Day of 777′.  I’m way more powerful than her!”

At that, the Dark Angel Muse absorbed Gabrielle inside herself. She grew even more and flashed brightly.

“So yummy!” she shouted.  “Tee hee!”

This made me furious.  Having finally gotten to this floor, I’m not about to let it get spoiled by an childish power-hungry cherub.  Master’s privileges, engage!  Shift to second person!  Give me my Muse and Gabrielle back!

*reaches into Dark Angel Muse and pulls out my Muse and Gabrielle*

Muse:  Thanks Kyle!

She still has more.

*reaches into Dark Angel Muse and pulls out other Muses, Gabrielle’s friends and her realm*

There!  Do the honors, Gabrielle!

Gabrielle: Gladly, Kyle!

*Gabrielle flings the Dark Angel Muse back to the elevator*

Gabrielle:  There.  Now, where are you all going?  I’m on my way up to the top.

To the top?  That’s where we’re going.  Oh, and shift back to first person!

My Muse nodded.  “Let’s go with you! We can all go in the same elevator!”

And that is just what we did.  We all walked back with Gabrielle to the elevators.  I pressed the up button and we all got on it.

Before I could press any button, my Muse pressed 835 and enter on the touch screen.  The elevator zoomed upward.

“Where are we going?” I asked her.

“Be prepared to be geeked out!” she said with a smile.

Gabrielle shrugged her shoulders.  “I don’t know what floor you’re going to, but I’m going all the way to the top.”

Suddenly, the elevator stopped on the 787th floor.  Torrents of water began bursting in and the elevator began filling with water.

“Not again!” I shouted.  “First, frozen water.  Now, actual water!”  I let out a deep sigh.  “I don’t have time for this!  Master’s privileges, engage!  Empty outside the tower!  NOW!”

Just as the water was about to fill to the ceiling, the water vanished, and was flushed out of the tower.

My Muse gasped.  “What was that floor, by the way?”

I glanced at the floor that we stopped on.  “787,” I told her.  “Flash flood.”

The elevator continued upward and finally stopped on the 835th floor.  I got off with my Muse while Gabrielle stayed on.

“See you at the top!” Gabrielle shouted.

Both of us nodded as the elevator doors closed.

I glanced at floor 835.  I saw a DeLorean parked nearby, and then it hit me.  This was the “Welcome to the Future, Marty!” floor.

“Nice,” I said with a smile.  “October 21, 2015.  4:29 p.m.”

I then glanced at the elevator.  “Can we go now?”

My Muse nodded.  “I just thought that we should one more pit stop before the 901st floor.”

“It was a nice one,” I told her.  I pressed the up button and the elevator door opened.   We both walked on the elevator and my Muse pressed 886 and enter on the touch screen.

“You said one more!” I said with a frown.

“We need to pick up Fat Muse!” she told me. “I told her that I would pick her up!”

The elevator zoomed upward to our final destination.  Floor 886.

Moments later, the elevator door opened.  The Fat Muse stepped on with a big smile.

“You’re late!” she shouted.  “Just kidding!  I hope this elevator doesn’t have a weight limit, ’cause big momma’s coming!  Ha ha!”

She jumped into the elevator, which made the whole elevator shake.

“To the 901st floor!” I shouted, pressing 901 and enter on the touch screen.  “Please don’t jump like that again.  You could’ve broke the elevator.”

The fat Muse nodded.  “But I didn’t, did I?  I trust Little Miss Toothpick over there.  She made this elevator strong and study, just for me!  Ha ha!  Now if you would excuse me, I’m going to have a little snack…”

The fat Muse reached into the folds of her belly and pulled out an extra large supreme pizza, which she consumed in seconds.

Ding!  This was it.

And all of a sudden, for what seemed like a mere eternity, Kyle and his Muse finally reached the 901st floor.  Both Kyle and his Muse left with the morbidly obese fat Muse and approached the lobby.  Oh, Kyle could not wait to put an ending to this amazing milestone!  No recycled zinger would do.  Why, that would be unheard of in writing a monumental milestone of this magnitude.  This wham-bam thank you ma’am show-stopping epic zinger would be 100% original and would stand out from all the rest.  That’s how to conclude a millennial post the right way, isn’t it?

As to not completely drag out this narrative any longer than what it should be, the narrator knew his place and became silent out of respect for Kyle and his beloved Muse.

I began clapping and my Muse clapped with me.  “That was amazing.” I told the unseen narrator.  “That was properly timed and completely unintrusive.”

Why thank you!  Now carry on, as I am very eager to see how this wonderful and magnificent milestone ends.

I nodded.  “Will do!”

After thanking the narrator, I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby.  My Muse and the Fat Muse followed.

“You two enjoy yourselves!” the fat Muse shouted.  “This honey is heading to the top!  There’s something big up there, and it’s bigger than me!  Ha ha!”

The fat Muse proceeded to the elevators, while me and my Muse took our time.

In examining the lobby, I noticed that it had no exit, since this was the 901st floor.

I approached a pure white service desk laced with solid gold bows.  A different Muse was sitting there, typing away.  She then looked up and smiled.  She wore a cape, and looked like a superhero.

“Welcome Kyle,” she announced.  “You are on the ‘Christmas Aftermath and a Super Muse’ floor.  I love this floor, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…Mighty Muse!”

Ahem!  Don’t you remember my suggestion?  You’re The Mighty Mistress, remember?

“That’s right!” the receptionist said, smiling.

I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk.  “I would like to go to floor 1000 now.”

At this, my Muse smiled.  “Be my guest! I’ll be up there shortly.  I just need to close things down around here…”

I advanced further to the elevators.  I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall.  Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them?  Sorry.  It’s not going to happen this time, either.

My Muse shook her head.

Muse:  No!  We are going to visit a few more floors!


Muse:  Kyle, this is entry #1000!  You will never get another chance to do this again!  Now come on!  What do you say?

Alright.  We’ll visit a few more floors.  To commemorate this special anniversary, we’ll do so.

And just like that, I pressed the up button and we entered the elevator, making the final trip to all of my favorite floors.

I pressed 915 and the elevator zoomed upward.  Moments later, the elevator stopped.  Ding!

My Muse frowned.  “Why did we stop here?” she asked me.

I scratched my head, as I examined the floor.  There was slush everywhere.  All the snow was melting into slush.  “It might have to do with the next floor,” I told her.  “Let’s go.”

We got back into the elevator and my Muse pressed 916.  After it went up one floor, we exited.  Sure enough, there was snow everywhere.

“That’s it!” I shouted.  “The previous floor was ‘Slushy Saturday’ and this one is ‘Snowy Sunday’. I guess that I liked the contrast between the two floors.”

My Muse shrugged her shoulders.  “Well, let’s go to the next one…”

We entered the elevator and I pressed 919.  It went up three floors and we exited it.

I smiled.  “Can You Hear It?”  I asked my Muse.

“You mean this?”  My Muse asked me, playing the infernal sound of drums.

“No!” I screamed.  “Not that!  Anything but that!  Stop that sound this instant!”

My Muse nodded.  “You don’t want to hear them? Fine.”  She turned the sound off.

“I am not talking about drums,” I told her.  “It’s the sound of your passion.  Can you hear it?”

“Yes,” My Muse told me.  “Can we go to the next floor?”


Listening to her request, we got back in the elevator.  I pressed 930.

Just moments later, the elevator door opened.  This was the “Sunday of Solitude” floor.

“Oh, I remember this one!” My Muse shouted.  “This was when I noticed that my powers were missing…”

I nodded.  “This was also where I talked about my spiritual gifts class.  I’m guessing that’s why I decided to add it.  It’s really worth reflecting on.”

We got back on the elevator.  Before I could press anything, my Muse pressed 949.  I just so happen to know what that floor was.  It’s the “A Single Challenge” floor.

“Any reason why we need to go here?” I asked her.

“I think that it’s good to reflect on your dilemma in being single,” she answered.  “It’s a well written piece, and a fond memory of mine.”

Ding!  The elevator stopped once again and the door opened.

There I was, another copy of myself talking to another copy of my Muse about my single dilemma.  From the exchange that I heard, my Muse was really good in giving advice.

“Your readiness will come with time,” my Muse told me, when she saw that I was overhearing the conversation.”

I gave my Muse a kiss.  “It certainly will,” I said with a smile.  “It certainly will.”

We got back on the elevator and I pressed 961.  “I’m a little curious about this one,” I told her.

“Oh,” My Muse said, scratching her head. “What is that one?  Oh yeah!  ‘Snowy Conditions Ahead…’?  That’s right!  That’s where I kind of…yeah.”

Ding!  The elevator stopped and we both got off.

“You kind of what?” I asked, looking impatient.

“I kind of had to fake what I was saying so that you wouldn’t suspect anything!” she said, looking very bashful.  “I…was totally different.  After Tee Hee Girl tagged me, her DNA slowly began to multiply until I transformed into her.  There wasn’t a strand of me left, except a hollow shell.  One that she used to pretend to be me…”  My Muse started to break down.  *sniff*  *sniff*  “I’m very…sorry…”

I patted my Muse on the back.  “Don’t be ashamed.” I told her.  “You were under Tee Hee Girl’s control.  There was nothing you could do.  But my, did she do a splendid job at pretending to be you!”

She nodded.  “I know.  To be honest, it actually felt weird being me when I was her.  That’s how much of me she took.  All of it.  I was completely her.  Another Tee Hee Girl that was doing the Dark Damsel’s bidding…”

I stared at my Muse directly in the eyes.  “But none of it was your fault, okay?  Don’t feel guilty about something that she did.  You had no control at all.  The important thing is that I rescued you and you’re safe now.  The One Privilege restored who you are.  Otherwise, you would still be Tee Hee Girl…”

My Muse nodded, wiping away all of her tears.  “You’re right.  Enough about the past.  Let’s go.  There’s a few more floors that I want to visit!”

We got on the elevator and my Muse, laughing, pressed 966.   The elevator began upward.

“Where are we going now?” I asked her.

“It’s one of my favorite floors!” she shouted.

Ding!  I stepped outside.  Where are we now?

“Why is this your favorite?” I asked her.  I looked at the floor number.  “Oh.  ‘Happy Leap Day!’?”

We both got out of the elevator.  My Muse transformed herself into an eight-year old.

“Yeah!” she shouted.  “I love Leap Day!  Isn’t it amazing?  Tee hee!”

I nodded.  “I love it, too.  I also love how you’re eight years old, even though you’re not born on February 29th!  You were born on August 12th, the same day as me!  Come on!”

“Can I have some fun?” she pleaded.  “Or do I have to be an adult all the time?”

“Who said that any of us are adults?” I asked her.  “An adult is only a larger version of a kid.  It’s just a different name.  The person that we are is the same.  We’re just older.

“Not to mention more EXPERIENCED!” she shouted,  as she gave me a playful shove.  “Leap! Leap! Leap!  C’mon Kyle!  Leap with me!”

I looked ahead of myself, trying to envision the audience.  “Do I really have to?”

“Leap or we’re not leaving this floor!” she threatened.

Letting out a deep sigh, I shrugged my shoulders and began leaping with her.

“There!” she shouted.  “That’s better!  Tee hee!  Just think about the kids that you’re gonna have some day!  What if you have a daughter?  Don’t you want to make her happy?”

I glimpsed at my eight-year old Muse again and nodded.  “I see your point,” I told her.  “If I’m going to have kids, I should at least know how to play with them.”

“Yeah!” she shouted, as she threw herself forward.  “Catch me! Tee hee!”

As she fell over, I caught her in my arms.  “Are you ready to go to the next floor?”

She eagerly got up and ran to the elevator.  “Yeah!”  Acting very hyper, she kept pressing the up button until the elevator door opened.

As we both entered, I began to see the expression of want on her face.

“Can I PLEASE press the next button?” she pleaded.  “PLEASE?”

“Go ahead,” I told her.

“Yay!” she shouted.  She ran to the panel and pressed 971.

As the elevator went upward, my Muse transformed back into an adult.

“That was fun,” my Muse said, smiling.  “We’re almost done!  Just a few more floors, Kyle!”

The elevator stopped on floor 971.   Ding!  We both got out.

“All Stitched Up?” I asked my Muse.  “Why are we here?   Granted, I had that title since I conquered Yoshi’s Woolly World, but why are we here?”

“It’s more about me lying,” she told me.  “As you heard before, I was Tee Hee Girl, and this is how the Dark Damsel wanted me to reveal everything.  I wanted to show you the hideout, but unfortunately I was leading you into a trap.  It’s strange I seem to remember a lot from when I was Tee Hee Girl…”

“So you still have all her memories?” I said, gasping.

“I do,” she said sheepishly.  “It’s weird.  I can still remember everything she experienced, even though I’m not her anymore…But it does help in explaining what’s going on…”

My Muse grabbed me by the hand and pulled me back onto the elevator.  She pressed 972 and it went up a floor.  We got off again.

“One More Week to Fall Back on…” I read.  “Don’t tell me.  This is where the whole plan unravels.”

She nodded.  “Being Tee Hee Girl at the time, I was uncomfortable as myself.  I felt relieved when I could finally take off my disguise…”

“What else?” I asked her.  I was growing impatient.

“That’s it.” she told me.  “Two more floors and we’ll go to the top. I promise!”

I followed my Muse back onto the elevator and she pressed 985.  A few moments later, the elevator stopped and we got off.

“The Hurdle is Cleared?” I said, looking puzzled.

“On this floor, I was pleading for your privileges, remember?” she explained.  “And I’m glad that you refused.  I would’ve never asked for them anyway.  But Tee Hee Girl wanted them badly.”

“And you used Dimini when you were her to get my privileges, right?” I asked her.

“Yup!” she said, nodding.  “As Tee Hee Girl, it was like I was a robot, doing the Dark Damsel’s bidding.  Now for the last floor!”

We got on the elevator once again and she pressed 986.  It went up a floor and we both got off.

“Sunday Respite?” I asked her.  “Don’t tell me.  This is where everything goes downhill.  As Tee Hee Girl, you thanked me for the privileges, even though I didn’t give them to you.  Things then go from bad to worse, until Remedy tells me about the One Privilege.  The fabled privilege that only I can yield.  And before we go to the top, there’s one more floor that I want to visit…”

We both got on the elevator and I pressed 989.  The elevator went up three floors and we got off.

“Now this,” I told her, “Is what I consider to be the worst way that I could end a story arc.  With the weather being awful that day, it put me in a very bad mood.  To end the story arc quickly, I used the privileges as a very cheap cop-out.  There was no silver lining, and…Need I say more?  This was an awful end to a story arc and I never want to end any future story arc like this again.”

My Muse nodded, and patted my shoulder.  “You had a bad day…”

“You’re taking one down!” I shouted.

“You sing a sad song just to turn it around!” she repeated, almost laughing.

I shook my head, smiling.  “Why are we reciting lyrics from Daniel Powter?”

My Muse shrugged her shoulders.  “I don’t know!  You started it!”

“No, you did!” I argued.  “You said that I had a bad day…”

She embraced me and smiled.  “Well, whatever the case is, you feel better today, right?  Let’s go.  The top floor awaits!”

I entered the elevator with my Muse and pressed the 1000 button.  Moments later, the doors closed.

Several moments passed.  At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry.  Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never no…

Muse:  Stop!  What did I tell you about recycling your old material!  This is entry #1000!  We talked about this at the very beginning!  Remember?

Yes, but we’re  almost done!

Muse:  That is no excuse to go with something unoriginal.

I know, but…

As Kyle and his Muse argued about how to end this marvelous milestone post, the narrator (that’s me, by the way!)  decided to take matters into his own hands.  He would have nothing of the old order of things.  The mindless, tiresome dribble that gets recycled into every single milestone post.  The kind of boring endings that you must have read at least one hundred times by now!  The drab, soulless, feckless…well, you get the point.  Well, I can tell you for certain that those days are over.  A new chapter is being written in the history of dramatic milestone endings.  A vibrant, colourful and epic chapter that is on a solo mission.  To end this post in the way that it should.

Getting back to the story, the narrator managed to formulate an ending that was far superior to any sorry excuse that Kyle could ever imagine for an ending…

Muse:  Fine!  You win!  Use your recycled garbage!


It’s the narrator again.  I’m sorry that we couldn’t hear you, but we were in the middle of an argument.

And I was in the middle of formulating a new ending.  It’s all finished.  All put together wonderfully.  You can thank me later…

Muse:  Where is the ending?

Where is the ending?  Don’t look at me!  I’m not the one that forgot to rehearse!  Psst!  It’s in your script…

Both me and my Muse, using the power of hammer space, took big stapled scripts out of our pockets.

Where is it?  Let’s see…Scene 1…That’s too early.  I explore the city of Muses with my Muse…Here we go!

Muse:  It’s right here.  The narrator thinks of an ending during the scene that we argue.

Well, doesn’t that mean that there’s a line in the script where the narrator asks you to refer to the script?  And then I open up my script and…Quick!  Let’s close it before things get too meta!

We both closed our scripts and returned them to hammer space, in our pockets.

Good ending.   What’s this about me not being able to make an ending?  Didn’t I create you, and your “wonderful” narrations?

Yes.  Let’s not sidestep anymore!  I’m sure that the audience wants this to end already!

Then let’s continue.

For reasons not clearly explained, time unpaused and the elevator finally reached the 1000th floor.

And for some reason, it was very dark.  Otherwise, I would be able to tell you what the room looked like.  As my eyes started to focus, I noticed a large…


*all the lights turn on, followed by a series of horns and party favors*

To my surprise, I was in a massive room that could hold more than 1,000 people.  Wait!  How can this be?  I’ve seen the outside of this tower…

Muse:  Bigger on the inside, sweetie!

Sweetie?  Who do you think you are?  River Song?

Muse:  Spoilers!  No, I’m not River Song…

Then who are you?  What number Muse are you?

Muse:  I am Muse #1000.  It was my job to keep you occupied until we had everything set up!

So that’s why you wanted to stop on all those floors towards the end!

Gabrielle:  Yes.  We needed to have more time to set up, so we kept asking her to go to other floors.

Wait!  Aren’t all the evil Muses going to kill me?

Muse:  They can’t.  They’re all trapped in forcefields.  The only thing that they can do is cooperate.

Muse (Day 666):  HISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!  Happy anniversary, Kyle.  Urrrr…I want to kill you….

I hope that you have a very strong forcefield for her.

Muse:  We do.  It’s powered by my Master’s privileges.

Wait!  You have privileges?

Muse:  Don’t you remember?  When you restored me, I ended up with the copy of the privileges that Tee Hee Girl had!  And you said that I could keep it until the new cycle, right?

I did say that.  Please do.  It’s the only thing that’s keeping that evil Muse from escaping…

Muses:   Happy 1,000 post anniversary, Kyle!

Why thank you. It’s every single Muse from every single cycle.  The first one, the rich one, the bashful one, the virtuous one, the fairy Muse, the evil one, the angelic one, the fat one and the Mighy Mistress with the Marvelous Muses League!

Virtuous Muse:  That’s right, Kyle.  We’re all here for your special day.  Enjoy it it while it lasts.  Congratulations!

Thank you.  I will!

Dark Muses:  Happy 1,000 post anniversary, Kyle!  Tee hee!

Wow!  Every single Dark Muse is here.  The original, the spoiled brat, the shy one, the fairy, the evil one, the angel and the Lethal Lady League!

Dark Angel Muse:  That’s right!  Have some anniversary cake. Tee hee! It’s so yummy!

Dark Spoiled Muse:  No expense was spared for this fun party.  Now if you would excuse me…Servants!  Come here this instant!

At that, the Dark Spoiled Muse’s servants quietly escorted her out of the room, to tend to her business.

Well, I know what that call is all about.  With her being so spoiled, she’s pretty “pampered”.

After seeing all the Dark Muses, I tried to find the 1000th Muse, and discovered that she was standing right next to me.

Being reassured,  I smiled.   “I just wanted to know that you were still there.”

???: Happy 1,000 post anniversary, Kyle!


Remedy:  What do you think of this gathering?  It’s every Muse from every day.

I like it.  This was worth all the waiting and suspense.

Remedy:  Well, I’m going to dance with some of the Muses.  Have fun, Kyle!

I will!

To celebrate, I ate a couple slices of anniversary cake and sat down, reflecting on all of the memories from day one until now.

My Muse suddenly got up and began yawning.

Muse:  *yawn*  I’m so tired…I…AHHHHHHH!!!

My Muse fell on the floor.

Gasping , I stood up and got my Muse to her feet.

Muse:  *yawn* Sorry…Kyle.  I’m just very tired… *yawn*

Well, let’s go in the other room.

And that is just what we did.

I took my Muse into the next room.  This room was an enormous room, lavishly decorated.  A desk sat in one corner and a grand bed sat in the other.  It was the size of four king-sized beds merged together.  It was well decorated with pure white and solid gold, with the bed being the same color.

“Kyle!” she said, yawning.  “I have something to read to you.  I want to do this before I get too tired.”  She let out a deep yawn.

“Hurry!” I shouted.  “Read it!”

My Muse got out a note and began to read it.

“To my master,” she read.  “I  made this tower for you and me.  This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1000.  Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily.  If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written.  I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude. Love, Your Muse.  P.S.  I hope that you enjoyed our special date.  I created that city of Muses just so that we could celebrate it.  Also,  I would like to congratulate you on reaching 1,000 entries.  This is not an easy feat, and it requires a tremendous amount of energy and creativity to pull it off.  Thank you for loving me as your own and all the kindness that you have shown to me.  This is it, Kyle.  1000 days.  1000 wonderful days that you have spent journaling and speaking with me.  Doesn’t that make you feel excited?  I know that it does for me, and I enjoy every minute that we spend together.  You are a wonderful friend, and would make wonderful company to any woman that would want to form a special friendship with you.  My prayer is that she finds you and that God provides you with the job that is in perfect alignment with his plan for your life.  Remember this, Kyle.  I am a thought. An idea made into human form.  A Muse.  One that you crafted with your own hands.  The engine of creativity that brings to life every work that you make.  I am your Muse, and I will always be your Muse.  Don’t stop creating and don’t stop writing.  Ideas are my food, so don’t leave me hungry.  Happy 1000 post anniversary!  Happy millennial post! XOXOXOXOXO  (X’s are kisses, and O’s are hugs, of course.  Tee hee…)

After she finished reading that note, my eyes began tearing up.  I stretched out my hands and gently embraced her.  “Thank you…” I said, quietly weeping.  “What you just said means so much to me…It really does.  Thank you…”

Suddenly, my Muse began to swoon.  “Kyle!” my Muse shouted in a weak voice.  “My bed!  Quick…”

I brought my Muse over to the bed and my timing was perfect.  My Muse, who was extremely exhausted, collapsed right onto the bed, landing on her belly.  My Muse was fast asleep.  All that hard work in preparing this for me must have really taken it out of her…

I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 900th floor, 800th floor, 700th floor, 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it.  However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors.  I looked at the directory.

The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 901-1000

Floor 901 – Christmas Aftermath and a Super Muse  Floor 902 – The Third Day of Christmas  Floor 903 – Back to Work…  Floor 904 – Late Christmas Gift  Floor 905 – Closing Up the Year  Floor 906 – Happy New Year!  Floor 907 – Starting off tired  Floor 908 – Let the Sweet Saturday Respite Begin…  Floor 909 – A Sunday of Solitude…  Floor 910 – Busy…  Floor 911 – A Toast to the New Year  Floor 912 – An Interview  Floor 913 – A Quick Update…  Floor 914 – Finally! The weekend…  Floor 915 – Slushy Saturday  Floor 916 – Snowy Sunday  Floor 917 – A Chilly MonNESday  Floor 918 – A Warm Gathering  Floor 919 – Can You Hear It?  Floor 920 – Sushi Night  Floor 921 – One Hour Presentation  Floor 922 – Birthday and Survival Tactics  Floor 923 – Dinner for 6…I mean, 7 – Winter Edition  Floor 924 – Presentation is Finished  Floor 925 – Toastmasters is Finished…  Floor 926 – Powerpoint Presentation is Finished…  Floor 927 – Exercise and a Meeting  Floor 928 – Final Preparations…  Floor 929 – It’s Saturday Night…  Floor 930 – Sunday of Solitude  Floor 931 – The Next MonNESday  Floor 932 – Club Visit 1 of 4: Frankenmuth  Floor 933 – Phew! It’s Over…  Floor 934 – Quick Thursday Update  Floor 935 – A Biblical View of Sexuality  Floor 936 – A Productive Saturday  Floor 937 – Super Sunday  Floor 938 – A City…  Floor 939 – An Invention…  Floor 940 – An Airplane…  Floor 941 – A Fish…  Floor 942 – A Borrower…  Floor 943 – A Castle…  Floor 944 – Super Bowl Large  Floor 944 – A Bathhouse…  Floor 945 – Time for a Break…  Floor 946 – Mardi Gras, SVSU and Special Meeting Tonight…  Floor 947 – Unexpected…  Floor 948 – Good Night…  Floor 949 – A Single Challenge  Floor 950 – A Friend Visit?  Floor 951 – Happy Hallmark Day…  Floor 952 – Singled Out…  Floor 953 – Toastmasters Tonight  Floor 954 – Survivor Tonight…  Floor 955 – Open Up and Say Ahh…  Floor 956 – Windy Friday…  Floor 957 – Occupied  Floor 958 – A Quiet Sunday  Floor 959 – Murder Mystery Monday  Floor 960 – Club Visit Tuesday  Floor 961 – Snowy Conditions Ahead…  Floor 962 – Snow Problem…  Floor 963 – And now it’s Friday…  Floor 964 – Saturday with a Friend  Floor 965 – A Sunday Respite…  Floor 966 – Happy Leap Day!  Floor 967 – Snow Problem – Part II: Now it’s Personal!  Floor 968 – NES Day Snow Day  Floor 969 – Wrong Side of the Bed  Floor 970 – Time for the Weekend…  Floor 971 – All Stitched Up…  Floor 972 – One More Week to Fall Back On…  Floor 973 – Melty Monday  Floor 974 – It’s Getting Warm…  Floor 975 – Serious Thai Craving…  Floor 976 – It’s-a me, MAR10!  Floor 977 – Happy Birthday, dad!  Floor 978 – Bowled Over  Floor 979 – Springing Ahead  Floor 980 – Easy as Pi  Floor 981 – Open House Aftermath  Floor 982 – Wet and Windy Wednesday  Floor 983 – Lucky Day  Floor 984 – It’s Finally Friday…  Floor 985 – The Hurdle is Cleared…  Floor 985B – Into the Shadows  Floor 986 – Sunday Respite  Floor 987 – Another Visit…  Floor 988 – Terrible Tuesday  Floor 989 – Wonderful Wednesday  Floor 990 – Snow. Just Snow.  Floor 991 – Good Friday  Floor 992 – Pre Easter Morning Shift  Floor 993 – Happy Easter!  Floor 994 – Monday Morning Shift  Floor 995 – Toastmasters Tuesday  Floor 996 – Parking Ticket  Floor 997 – Me & My Muse is Over  Floor 998 – April Fools!  Floor 999 – Hitting the DEC in Battle Creek  Floor 1000 – Tower of Muses: The Tenth Ascent


The high today is going to be 35 degrees and the silver lining is having this extra special 1000th post made.

To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Just like entry 900, she’s right!  The entire entry is typed!  And there’s no message this time, since she read the whole message to me herself.  I think that I’ll reread that message.  Aw…How thoughtful.  I liked the perfectly timed narrations!

Now I’ll…What’s going on?  Just like before!  It’s happening once again!  On the bed!  My Muse is flashing…

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