Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1700 and a nearly identical post from Day 1600. I don’t know about you, but with it being Tuesday and me being really busy with my new job, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1700th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1700th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the sixteenth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1700th” to “1800th” and “fifteenth” to “sixteenth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 700 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1700th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 800 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1700? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1700. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1800! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a skyscraper that a wealthy super rich business woman would live in. A luxuriously posh office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A luxurious building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1701st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1701st floor.
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Iron Muse” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1800 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1701 – Iron Muse
In this one, we see wonderful fan service done to one of my favorite Marvel Superheroes. Tammy Spark? Spark Tower? This made Tony so angry that he made a personal visit himself. Stan Lee also makes a cameo, so this one is pure gold. And parts of the tower were gold too. Read this one and be amazed.
Floor 1702 – Friday Fun
Get ready for some fun. When Friday rolls around, my Muse invites me to Spark Tower for a night of fun. And when a billionaire invites you to their residence, you know you’re going to have fun. What fun awaits? Read this one, and get ready for some fun. The Spark Tower really knows how to entertain.
Floor 1722 – Now we’re Cooking!
In this one, I discuss my plans to make dinner for the whole family. The menu? A delicious frittata with fruit. What can be better? Grab a plate and read this one with an empty stomach. It’s a very delicious read!
Floor 1728A – NO WAE!
“Do you know da wae? I will show you da wae!” This one is what I consider to be one of my best April Fools pranks yet. Ugandan Knuckles is pure gold. So will you be reading this? Read it now, or I’ll spit on you!
Floor 1729 – April Madness
What’s crazier than March Madness? April Madness. At my work, the number 16 seed won in the NCAA championship. Something that has never happened before. Because of that, Little Caesars gave away free lunch combos that day. This was a lunch rush that I will never forget. One that rivals even Halloween, if you can believe that. Stand in line and read this one. You’ll get your free lunch combo. I guarantee it.
Floor 1730– April Toast
In this one, the Iron Muse saga continues. Things take a turn for the worst when 20 Iron Muse suits get stolen from Spark Tower. How did this happen? Who stole them? Read this, and find out.
Floor 1734 – TGIS…
Besides getting the rest of Saturday off, the Marvelous Muse league arrives at last. What will be done to recover the missing suits? Read this, and say hello to the team.
Floor 1746 – Job Offer
Since college, I have been wanting to find a job that fully utilizes my college degree. In this one, I make the official announcement of the job offer that I accepted at Dow Chemical. After eleven long years, it is good to hear such exciting news. News that has changed my life. Read this one. Read all of it carefully and see a life changed before your very eyes. And whatever you do, say yes to the offer. You will not regret it.
Floor 1753 – The Infinity War
Why did I choose this one? In this one, I pretty much discuss how hyped I was to see The Avengers: The Infinity War. Things get real when Thanos is after all six Infinity Stones. The entire universe is at stake if Thanos gets them all, as he can wipe out half of all life in just a snap of a finger. You know what to do. Read this one, and PRAY that Thanos doesn’t get the Infinity Stones.
Floor 1767 – Last Day Eve
In this one, I give a thoughtful reflection of my more than seven years of working at Little Caesars. When you have worked there as long as I have, you can’t help but reflect on how far you have come from day one. This is done at length, and I’m glad to get all of these memories out. Read this, and see how a pizza making legend was born.
Floor 1768 – TGIF – Farewell Edition
This is it. This was my very last day that I worked at Little Caesars. And do you know what? I’m glad that it’s all done. There is no lengthy reflection here, as that was done in the previous entry. Have you had your fill of pizza? Get it now. Read this one and celebrate my last day with me.
Floor 1776 – The Weekend Begins
The plot thickens in the Iron Muse Saga when the Dark Damsel shows up to take over Spark Tower. With the Lethal Lady League in control, things are not looking good for our lady heroes. What will Tammy Spark do now? Read this one, and see how this exciting saga continues.
Floor 1780 – Middle of the Week
A new hope could save the Marvelous Muse League. All they need is…something. Did you think that I was going to reveal what happens in this one? Sorry. Go on and read this one if you are curious. There is hope in the horizon…
Floor 1783 – The Weekend Begins…
The story continues, and no. It can’t be! Iron Muse has gone rouge? Who can save our lady heroes now? Go on and read this. The story is not over yet…
Floor 1785 – Age of Musetron
In this one, you get to see the exciting finale to the Iron Muse Saga. The final showdown is here, and only one side will win. Will it be good or evil? Read on, and see how this exciting story concludes.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1800th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1800 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this twelfth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1800th floor.
A little like the 1700th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1700th story, the1600th story, the 1500th story, the 1400th story, the 1300th story, the 1200th story, the 1100th story, the 900th story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1700th story,1600th story, 1500th story, 1400th story, 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her businesswoman superhero form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to the foot of the bed was a note. And this is what it said:
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1800. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1700th floor,1600th floor, 1500th floor, 1400th floor, the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 1701-1800
Floor 1701 – Iron Muse Floor 1702 – I’m Tired of Winter… Floor 1703 – Wet Wednesday Floor 1704 – Snow More Floor 1705 – Can I Enjoy My Friday Now? Floor 1706 – It’a-a me, MAR10! Floor 1707 – Happy Birthday, dad and Springing Ahead Floor 1708 – A Simple Start Floor 1709 – Open up and Say AHHHHHHH!!!! Floor 1710 – Easy as Pi Floor 1711 – Not Quite Friday Yet… Floor 1712 – Friday Fun Floor 1713 – Lucky Day Floor 1714 – Easy Sunday Floor 1715 – Happy Friday! Floor 1716 – Stressful Day Floor 1717 – March Madness – Part III Floor 1718 – Chill Day… Floor 1719 – TGIF! OH YEAH! Floor 1720 – SaturNESday Floor 1721 – Palm Sunday Respite Floor 1722 – Now we’re Cooking! Floor 1723 – Phew… Floor 1724 – Middle of the Week Floor 1725 – Already Thursday… Floor 1726 – Good Friday Floor 1727 – Me & My Muse Series Finale Floor 1728A – Me & My Muse Video – Day 1: NO WAE! Floor 1728B – Happy Easter! Floor 1729 – April Madness Floor 1730 – April Toast Floor 1731 – April Snow brings May…Nevermind! Floor 1732 – Rough Thursday Floor 1733 – Not out of the Woods Yet… Floor 1734 – TGIS… Floor 1735 – Sunday Solitude Floor 1736 – A Little Tired… Floor 1737 – Phewday NESday Floor 1738 – Middle of the Week Floor 1739 – Summer Preview Floor 1740 – Friday Short Floor 1741 – Power Outage Floor 1742 – Spring Needs to Hurry… Floor 1743 – Cooking Time? Floor 1744 – Good Things are Coming… Floor 1745 – Survivor Night Floor 1746 – Job Offer Floor 1747 – Friday GoodNES Floor 1748 – Relief at Last… Floor 1749 – Farewell Weekend… Floor 1750 – Good Night! Floor 1751 – Change of Plans… Floor 1752 – Cutting to the Chase… Floor 1753 – The Infinity War Floor 1754 – The Power of Change Floor 1755 – Greetings From Grand Rapids! Floor 1756 – The Spring Conference Recap… Floor 1757 – Busy and Tired Floor 1758 – Turning up the Heat Floor 1759 – Anniversary Dinner Floor 1760 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath Floor 1761 – May the Fourth be With You Floor 1762 – Cinco de NESday Floor 1763 – And Now it’s Sunday… Floor 1764 – Green Haircut: May Debut Floor 1765 – Four More Days! Floor 1766 – Almost There… Floor 1767 – Last Day Eve Floor 1768 – TGIF – Farewell Edition Floor 1769 – And Now I’m Tired… Floor 1770 – Happy Mother’s Day! Floor 1771 – Day One Stuff… Floor 1772 – Second Day on the Job Floor 1773 – Busy NESday Floor 1774 – Thursday Update Floor 1775 – Week One – Complete! Floor 1776 – The Weekend Begins Floor 1777 – End of the Weekend… Floor 1778 – Tux is all Paid Off! Floor 1779 – TuesNESday Floor 1780 – Middle of the Week Floor 1781 – One More Day… Floor 1782 – Memorial Day Weekend is Here… Floor 1783 – The Weekend Begins… Floor 1784 – Right in the Middle… Floor 1785 – Age of Musetron Floor 1786 – Back to Work… Floor 1787 – Working Out Floor 1788 – Where has this Week Gone? Floor 1789 – The Weekend is Here Floor 1790 – Breath of Fresh Air Floor 1791 – Budgeting and Multiplication Floor 1792 – Starting up Quicken Floor 1793 – Starting up Toastmasters Floor 1794 – Halfway Already Floor 1795 – Start Your Engines! Floor 1796 – The Weekend Begins… Floor 1797 – Birthday and an Open House Floor 1798 – A Day of Respite Floor 1799 – Another Conference Floor 1800 – Tower of Muses: The Eighteenth Ascent
The high today is going to be 83 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1800th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1700, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…