Me & My Muse – Day 1300: The Thirteenth Ascent

Once again, we have arrived at another milestone.   A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1200 and a nearly identical post from Day 1100.  I don’t know about you, but with it being winter, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.

I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire.  (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time!  The very same me from the 1200th entry!  You don’t believe me, do you?  Well, go back and read the 1200th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying.  And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish?  I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the eleventh time in a row?  My, what a milestone!  I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any!  This is getting ridiculous!  There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000!  Oh well.  I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing!  I don’t think that I will change a thing!  Although I did change “1200th” to “1300th” and “tenth” to “eleventh” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it,  why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post?  Wait!  What I just included was new!  So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*)  I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah.  Redundant again!  REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this?  Wait!  I’ve said that already!  Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning!  Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What?  Did you really think that I was going to forget about it?  I remembered!  Go me!  I rock!)  I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.

In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry.  How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 300 days ago.  (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to  reread the 1200th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 300 days ago.)  How original!  You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire.  How I would leave an introspective…wait!  This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous.  Is it too late to start over?  (Genius!  Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them.  Just be sure to save my interjections.  They’re pure gold, I tell you!  Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.

Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait!  This is redundant!  Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1200?  We know what happens next already.  The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1200.  It always is!  It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?

But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different.  Yes.  The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact!  My are we smart!), but just to be sure.  We will have a look inside and see…

Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that.  (I’m all for originality!  Let’s be brave!  Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)

After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door.  Sure enough, the same field was there.  (We should really change the scenery a little bit.  Maybe in a later one, perhaps?  But this is entry 1300!  Maybe we should change it soon…)  I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before, only the greenery was moist with melted snow.  (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.)  Clovers and wildflowers.  Yellow, orange, and red leaves.  A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago.  (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far.  My, am I on a roll today!)

The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance.  A tall structure that looked even taller than before.  Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before.  And quite redundant.  Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger.  We get it.

The tower looked like a vastly oversized pink police box, better know to her as the TARDIS.  The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure.  The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it.  (Oh please!  The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she?  Well, I never!)

“A pink office building designed like a TARDIS,” I said to myself.  “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”

Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.

I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.

“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure.  (Oh, come on!  You ask her that every single time!  Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)

My Muse shook her head again and smiled.  “No, silly!  This tower is a little different.  And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1201st floor!”

I nodded, with a slight grin on my face.  And this was mainly due to the deja vu.  “And this floor is still…”

“Floor 1,” she recited.  “ExperiMENTAL.  Tee hee…”

And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.

Upon entering the portal, she was right.  I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby.  But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1201st floor.

Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there.  But she wasn’t typing.  In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor.  It was only a split second that I saw her typing…

“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced.  “You are on the “Muse Who?” floor.  This floor is not one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”

I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk.  “I would like to go to floor 1300 now.”

At this, my Muse frowned.  “Why?  There are so many good floors!”

I advanced further to the elevators.  I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall.   The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post!  Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them?  Sorry.  It’s not going to happen this time, either.  If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post.  Okay.  If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead.  I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.

There.  After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text,  I have my list.  It’s right here!  I have it on my lap.  Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read.  My favorite floors are:

Floor 1201 – Muse Who?

The Muse of Mystery is back.  What better way to honor her but to provide her own story arc?  This is not The Doctor we’re talking, but The Muse.  A female Doctor with a little bit of River Song thrown in there.  Doctor Who fans, rejoice!  And if you’re not a fan of the show, this is still a good one to read.  Grab your sonic screwdriver, your psychic paper, and enjoy this read.

Floor 1210 – Restful Sunday

The plot thickens.  I learn more about my Muse’s new form and how she became the Muse of Mystery.  How did this happen?  It gets interesting.  Read and find out.

Floor 1215 – The November Respite Begins…

In this one, I discover one of my Muse’s new quirks.  Why does she always hurry to the bathroom?  And trouble’s starting to brew in the sky.  Be on your watch, and enjoy this read.

Floor 1217 – Falling Back – Part II

This has nothing to do with Daylight Savings Time ending, but everything to do with the plot.  The Dark Muse is revealed as a character that reminds me of Missy (AKA The Master).  On a ship full of Daleks, how do I escape?  Read this, OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!  Ignore that Dalek.  Go ahead and read it, if you dare.

Floor 1220 – It’s Time to Make America Great Again!

The 2016 Presidential Election was quite the memorable one.  Whether your candidate won or lost, one this is for sure.  Trump won, and things are going to be a little different now.  Interested?  Check out this read.  Or if you’re a Democrat, avoid it at all costs.

Floor 1229– Freaky Friday

In this one, a new epidemic has emerged.  People around the world are mysteriously transforming into babies.  Why is this happening?  What mother is going to take care of them all?  Read this, but at a distance.  You could be next.

Floor 1233 – Saying Goodbye

Farewells are so hard for me.  Especially when it’s a co-worker that I’ve worked with for so long.  Having seen him go from assistant manager to general manager, I knew the store was in good hands.  But when I heard of his planned departure, I was floored.  This read is dear to me, as this person will be missed.  Have you ever said goodbye to a co-worker before?  This read is for you.

Floor 1241 – Smart Phone and a New Computer!

Well, it finally happened.  I never thought that I would see this day, but it just happened.  I got a smartphone, and to make things even better, I got my new laptop on the same day.  This read pretty much covers these things and my excitement about them.  Christmas is here early.  Unwrap this read and enjoy it.

Floor 1243– They Grow Up So Fast

Who am I talking about?  In this one, the Baby Epidemic is finally brought under control.  How was this resolved?  Read it and find out.

Floor 1256 – The Mission Begins Tonight…

In this one, I talk about my excitement in seeing Rouge One: A Star Wars Story.  Are you ready for the mission?  Here are your orders.  Read this entry.  That is all.

Floor 1286 – Sweet Saturday

While my Saturday may have been sweet, the war going on in the sky wasn’t.  War ships from all over the universe were zeroing in on earth with one goal:  Obtain my One Privilege at all costs.  Do they succeed?  Is there any bloodshed?  Read on.  This might get dangerous.

Floor 1287 – Making the Switch

Have I succeeded in making a light switch?  Don’t be silly.  No.  What I am referring to in this one is my latest acquisition.  I pre-ordered a Nintendo Switch: Nintendo’s newest console.  Will you make the switch?  Good luck finding one, but read this anyway.

Floor 1291 – Frithursday

Have you ever had a work week end on a Thursday?  That explains the title.  Furthermore, this is the finale of the Time Lady Muse saga.  It’s a wonderful conclusion to a wonderful tribute.  Read, and see how it all ends.

Floor 1292 – President Donald Trump

Like it or not, we have a new president in office.  If you’re put off by the title, just remember how others felt and how you felt eight years ago.  To be straightforward, I pretty much share my excitement for the president-elect being sworn in as president.  If this doesn’t pique your interest, the protesters are over there.  But if you are interested, it’s definitely worth reading.  It’s the culmination of one of the most historic elections in history.  Let’s make America great again.

Floor 1295 – Slow Monday

Wait a second!  She’s back?  Yes she is.  In this one, the unexpected happens.  Who came back?  Why am I so excited about this?  Read this one, and all will be revealed.

Wow!  It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought.   I included a little less than last time!  Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list.  But it’s too late now.  Onward to the 1300th floor…

My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.

“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me.  “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”

“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her.  “I lived them!”

To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators.  I then pressed the up button a few times.  Where are the elevators?  With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened.  It just happened to be the one next to me.

I entered the elevator and pressed the 1300 button.  Moments later, the doors closed.

Several moments passed.  At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry.  Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice.  Just enough changes to throw off the audience.  How lazy of him!  Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas?  But Kyle would have none of that.  He is just as determined to bring this thirteenth milestone post to an abrupt end.  The good old recycled zinger.  They’ll never notice!  Unless the narrator reminds them

Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1300th floor.

A little like the 1200th floor before it,  this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated.  A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000.  Pretty much the same room as the 1200th story, 1100th story, 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.

Oh!  We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph!  As much as we want to, we can’t.  It just wouldn’t be right…

And on the bed laid my Muse.  She was in time lady form and…I felt for a pulse.  Two hearts.  Yup.  She’s still a Gallifreyan…There was a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her.  Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed.  That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet!  Am I right?  And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!

Attached to her hand was a note.  And this is what it said:

To my master,

I made this tower for you and me.  This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1300.  Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily.  If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written.  I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.

Love,

Your Muse

I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it.  However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors.  I looked at the directory.

The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 1201-1300

Floor 1201 – Muse Who?  Floor 1202 – Singles Gathering  Floor 1203 – Speech Contest Planning…  Floor 1204 – Friend Visit?  Floor 1205 – Green Haircut and Open House  Floor 1206 – Ideas and Speech Contest Planning Floor 1207 – Busy Day is Busy…  Floor 1208 – E Division Contest Eve  Floor 1209 – E Division Speech Contest and then rest… Floor 1210 – Restful Sunday  Floor 1211 – Trick or Treat?!!  Floor 1212 – Leftover Candy  Floor 1213 – Bread, Ideas, and Toastmasters  Floor 1214 – Pepperoni & Jalapeno Pepperoni Stuffed Crust Deep Dish  Floor 1215 – The November Respite Begins…  Floor 1216 – Falling Back – Part I  Floor 1217 – Falling Back – Part II Floor 1218 – Election Eve  Floor 1219 – Election Day  Floor 1220 – It’s Time to Make America Great Again!!!  Floor 1221 – Celebration Night  Floor 1222 – Give Humor a Chance!  Floor 1223 – Greetings From Midland!  Floor 1224 – The Fall Conference Recap…  Floor 1225 – NESday Aftermath…  Floor 1226 – Toastmasters District 62 Fall Conference Aftermath  Floor 1227 – A Different Wednesday  Floor 1228 – A Head Start…  Floor 1229 – Freaky Friday  Floor 1230 – Snowy SaturNESday  Floor 1231 – Sunday Shopping  Floor 1232 – NovemBRRR…  Floor 1233 – Saying Goodbye  Floor 1234 – Thanksgiving Eve  Floor 1235 – Happy Thanksgiving!  Floor 1236 – Shop Till You Drop  Floor 1237 – Making a List and Checking it Twice  Floor 1238 – Sleepy Sunday  Floor 1239 – Click Till You Drop  Floor 1240 – A Couple Big Updates…  Floor 1241 – Smart Phone & A New Computer!  Floor 1242 – Wrapping Things Up  Floor 1243 – They Grow Up So Fast  Floor 1244 – O Christmas Tree  Floor 1245 – Good Night…  Floor 1246 – Another NESday…  Floor 1247 – Hot Water Problem  Floor 1248 – A Good Start  Floor 1249 – Forget the Hot Water…  Floor 1250 – More Footage and a Possible Friend Visit…  Floor 1251 – To NES or Not to NES?  Floor 1252 – Tired…  Floor 1253 – Monday Snow Day  Floor 1254 – Tuesday Dough Day  Floor 1255 – Millennials vs. Gen X ends tonight!  Floor 1256 – The Mission Begins Tonight…  Floor 1257 – Jedi Hangover  Floor 1258 – Playlist is Done!  Floor 1259 – And Now the Bedding…  Floor 1260 – Twas the NES Before Christmas…  Floor 1261 – Christmas Toast  Floor 1262 – I’m All About That List…  Floor 1263 – The True Meaning of Christmas  Floor 1264 – All Aboard!  Floor 1265 – Twas the Day Before Christmas…  Floor 1266 – Merry Christmas!  Floor 1267 – Christmas Aftermath  Floor 1268 – The Mission Continues…  Floor 1269 – End of Year Checklist…  Floor 1270 – Christmas: Part II  Floor 1271 – Closing Up the Year  Floor 1272 – Happy New Year!  Floor 1273 – Starting off sick  Floor 1274 – Ketchup NESday  Floor 1275 – Hold the Mustard…  Floor 1276 – Here Comes the Pain…  Floor 1277 – Rough Day…  Floor 1278 – And Now the Weekend…  Floor 1279 – A Different Kind of NES…  Floor 1280 – Sunday Sushi Floor 1281 – Monday Meeting  Floor 1282 – Tuesday Terrain  Floor 1283 – Woeful Wednesday  Floor 1284 – Treacherous Thursday  Floor 1285 – Fun Friday  Floor 1286 – Sweet Saturday   Floor 1287 – Making the Switch  Floor 1288 – Growing Pains  Floor 1289 – Icy and Wet  Floor 1290 – Wet Wednesday  Floor 1291 – Frithursday  Floor 1292 – President Donald Trump  Floor 1293 – Friday a Day Late  Floor 1294 – Time for Fun  Floor 1295 – Slow Monday  Floor 1296 – Two Jobs  Floor 1297 – More Job Hunting…  Floor 1298 – Thursday Thunder  Floor 1299 – Friday Fireworks  Floor 1300 – Tower of Muses: The Thirteenth Ascent

The high today is going to be 33 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1300th post made.

To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Just like entry 1200, she’s right!  The entire entry is typed!  And there’s that message at the end!  Aw…How cute.  I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post.  Oh well…

Now I’ll…What’s going on?  Just like before!  It’s happening once again!  On the bed!  My Muse is flashing…

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