Tee hee hee hee hee hee…
I feel like history is repeating itself. When else have I experienced my Muse having the entire universe at her fingertips? Well, baby fingertips…And it’s not like she knows any better so it’s all a toy to her…Oh yeah. I remember. It was 80 days ago…
As I am typing this, I am Legend. The process is complete. The large glowing void has grown, and pulled the entire planet into it. And at the rate that it is growing, I’m sure that our universe is inside it too…
As a result, the entire human race has been babyfied. And I’m the only one left that can fix it. The Dark Muse has caused this, I just know it…
Dark Muse: You rang?
Just get away from here. You were the one that created the void. The void that is connected to the universe that my baby Muse was in.
Dark Muse: You are the meanie. You banished her universe and locked the door on her. Now would you really lock a child in her room? I unlocked the door and let her out! Sharing is caring!
Um…I don’t call this “sharing”. She basically overshadowed this entire planet so she now has two worlds at her disposal…well, two universes by now…
Dark Muse: And she deserves it. Hasn’t anyone ever taught you how to share?
But that’s not sharing! That’s complete invasion! That’s turning the entire planet into a utopian garden full of helpless infants! In what way do you consider it “sharing”?
Dark Muse: That’s a wonderful example of sharing. To be totally honest, I have not a care in the world of what happens to this planet. Isn’t that how evil is supposed to work?
Dark Muse: And you want the hero to come in and save the day, and bring balance to this story, huh? That would be a wonderful change in pace now, would it? But I hate to break it to you, dear. Your story is over. There are no heroes here.
There is. You have one hero left…
Dark Muse: Exactly. You are the bad boy that needs to be punished. Now let’s not be mean. Learn to share. Give me the One Privilege.
What? And give you control over two One Privileges?
Dark Muse: But of course! I could yield the Two Privilege and be unstoppable!
Or I could stop you altogether. You may be a Time Lady, but I have just as much power and intellect as The Doctor. And due to your constant pursuit of my One Privilege, I would say that I have even more power than that…
Dark Muse; Then do it. Destroy me and do your hero thing. Go brave hero! Go and destroy the big mean Dark Muse! That menacing witch that is a malignant boil to everyone’s day!
Dark Muse: And why is that? You have the power to.
You have the power to cancel my ability to.
Dark Muse: Try me.
Very well. Completely destroy the Dark Muse! One Privilege, ENGAGE!
*shoots out powerful beam, which completely vaporizes Dark Muse*
She gave up? Is it really that easy? It can’t be!
Hello? Show yourself!
Tee hee hee hee hee hee…
*Dark Muse reappears in a cloud of smoke*
Dark Muse: Oh, hi! I was just visiting the poor little baby girl that you locked away!
Locked away? I was saving the universe from her terror!
Dark Muse: Her terror? The poor little thing…She’s only two years old! She doesn’t know any better!
And that’s the problem. When you have a child with that much power, she is a threat to the universe. That power must be contained…
Dark Muse: And that’s where you’re cruel. When she blew up the universe, it shattered the One Privilege and her. Pieces of her scattered the universe and her presence enveloped it. With the One Privilege surrounding every piece of her, her rebirth was complete. She became a goddess. A brand new goddess in her infancy…
So you’re going to attribute divine qualities to her? Even the One Privilege has limited powers. Limits have been established for those powers and such limits cannot be exceeded.
Dark Muse: Limits you say?
Well, a painter can’t have unlimited paint, can he? He’ll eventually run out of resources! The privileges were originally intended to establish a virtual construct, simulating certain aspects of reality.
Dark Muse: So you’re basically saying that she can be a goddess to a certain extent. Fair enough.
I prefer to use the term creator. The only problem is that children always make messy pictures…
Dark Muse: But you got to give them credit for trying. Give me the Privilege!
No! I am going to end this! I know that I can’t destroy you, so I’ll continue on with my plan…
*teleports far away from the Dark Muse*
Tee hee hee hee hee hee…
Now to fall asleep before she finds me. Fall asleep!
*instantly falls asleep and enters dream world*
There she is. Just like before.
A gigantic infant, shining brighter than any of the stars in the sky…
*flies over to my Muse, who is sleeping*
Leave her alone. Let her sleep!
I don’t like him, mommy! Tee hee!
*Dark Muse appears in a cloud of smoke*
Dark Muse: Don’t worry, dear. “Mommy” will make it all better…
Mommy? What have you done with Nurture?
Dark Muse: What have I done? She’s been disposed of. I’m her new mother. Now, leave my darling daughter alone!
How about I banish both of you back where you belong?
Dark Muse: What? Lock us both in? Excellent plan, dear! But I’m afraid that’s not going to work. I have the keys!
Dark Muse: It was simple. I traveled back in time. 81 days into the past. Just before the universe exploded, I did away with the original mother and took her place. Then it happened. She got all the power and I share it with her. Isn’t this amazing?
For you, it is. But I don’t think it’s amazing.
Dark Muse: Too bad. I win. Now give me the One Privilege!
How about I take hers instead?
No daddy! It’s mine!
Dark Muse: Don’t upset her. You don’t want to upset a baby goddess…
She’s powerless! If not for that One Privilege, she wouldn’t have anything!
Dark Muse: But she does. Now gimme!
???: How about you learn to share?
The Doctor! But how?
The Doctor: Your reasoning and your mannerisms. You remind me of someone very familiar.
Dark Muse: So I do, huh? So who does the great Doctor think I am? I am just dying to know!
The Doctor: Does the name “Missy” ring a bell?
Dark Muse: You’re quite right. She’s a wonderful friend. And how I wish that I could share more about her! But I have a child to calm and a couple of annoying pests to exterminate…
The Doctor: So do I. Destroy the pest!
Past Kyle: With honor! Here, future me. you can borrow it.
Nice. Two One Privileges? Or should I say the Two Privilege?
Dark Muse: Bravo, Doctor. You’ve done it again. I go and destroy everything and you manage to save it again. Wasn’t that fun?
The Doctor: To all involved, it really wasn’t. Let’s stop with the drama and enjoy Christmas and the other holidays. Truce?
Dark Muse: I love Christmas. How can I resist? It’s a deal, Doctor. After the new year, everything goes back to normal. I will do my evil deeds and you will do good. I’ll see you around!
You’re not going anywhere until I return things to normal. First, you are not the mother of the baby Muse. Nurture is. Two Privilege, ENGAGE!
Nurture: I’m back! Tee hee!
It’s the same Nurture from her timeline. Where she controls her universe…
The Doctor: Yes. And to preserve everything in the timeline, her universe must go back where it belongs. As we both know, One Privileges can’t be destroyed!
Then why does she still have it?
The Doctor: She is from the timeline where she still has it. Even when she was banished, her universe transcended time when it was created. So when you banished her, you banished her back to her point of origin, where she still had the One Privilege.
So you’re saying that her universe existed even if I were to go back in time before the explosion happened?
The Doctor: Exactly. It transcends time. That explosion didn’t just shatter space, but time. The best we can do is banish her universe to a place where she can’t do any harm.
And I think I know how I can do that…
Send Baby Universe into void and lock the void! Two Privilege, ENGAGE!
Bye daddy! Tee hee!
*universe gets sucked into void, vanishes, and is locked twice with two flashing seals*
I’m guessing that each seal requires one One Privilege to unlock.
The Doctor: Which means that the void will not unlock, no matter what you do. Our work here is done.
Past Kyle: And I will need my privilege back. You can restore everything with just One Privilege.
Yes I can. Here you go!
Past Kyle: Thanks. It looks like my future will be better. Bye!
*Past Kyle enters TARDIS with The Doctor and TARDIS vanishes*
Restore universe to normal. One Privilege, ENGAGE!
*everything flashes and is restored to normal*
Muse: You did it!
The Doctor: My plan worked!
So you planned this the whole time?
The Doctor: I planned this during our one week respite around Thanksgiving. I traveled to the past and warned my past self about what is about to happen. My past self then went to the future with your past self to restore things to normal. It all worked nicely, didn’t it?
It did. It’s now time to enjoy Christmas.
Muse: I’m up for that, but first, I have to go!
*Muse runs into pink TARDIS and closes the door*
The Doctor: Women and their sudden urges to use the bathroom. Why does she keep doing this? I know that this is a new regeneration cycle for her, but it’s rather odd. Her and I go way back…
Only because she was abducted from her mother’s womb to be born as a Galifreyan before her birth…
The Doctor: There was a reason for that, and you know it well. Time to jam with my guitar…
*The Doctor enters his TARDIS and closes the door*
I think I will end here tonight. With this story arc done, I can enjoy Christmas and everything that it has to offer.
Today’s high is going to be 39 degrees and the silver lining is having the rest of the weekend to enjoy.
To those of you who are enjoying your Friday, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Muse: *sigh* Just as I thought. I soaked it all the way through! Urr…I hate incontinence…