Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1000 and a nearly identical post from Day 900. I don’t know about you, but with it being summer, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but I’m back from post 900! With 1000, we wanted to ensure that the entry was special, and it was. With that all over, you will get more of the same. It is the very same me from the 900th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 900th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the ninth time in a row? This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Well, okay. There was also entry 1000, which was amazing by the way. Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did add a little extra content and change “1000th” to “1100th” and “tenth” to “eleventh” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
Speaking of absences, I must accept that she’s gone. If you read yesterday’s entry, she’s now dead. I don’t know why this had to happen, but I have to accept the reality. If I were to guess, she made this tower right before she died, with the last bit of energy that she had. Why did she have to go?
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 200 days ago. (Not quite. I added some other information regarding his Muse’s death and included a note to the reader to reread the 900th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 200 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 900? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here (Well, she died yesterday so it would be a different reason now…) and approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1000. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!). Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1100! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red poinsettias. A sea of color. And with it being light out, everything was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Well, of course it was! Day 1000 was 100 days ago, with a tower in a field outside a city. My, was that epic!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1001st floor! Also, I’m the only receptionist here. All the other receptionists went back to their towers. Tee hee…”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1001st floor.
Approaching a white colored service desk, I saw a similar Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “ExperiMENTAL 2.0” floor. This floor is not one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…Tee hee!”
I nodded, and sighed. “Is she up there?”
My Muse nodded. “Your Muse? I think she’s dead, but she’s up there! Tee hee…”
I then looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1100 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1001 – ExperiMENTAL 2.0
This one was included purely for nostalgic reasons. Remember the first ever Me & My Muse that I ever written? This is a nice tribute to that, complete with the annoying Muse that we saw in day one.
Floor 1002 – Advancing to Boardwalk – 2016 Edition
Yes, I talk about the Monopoly at McDonald’s contest, but that’s not the reason that I included it. With a fashion crazed Muse, she will stop at nothing to make sure that my fashion is up to snuff. Read this, but make sure that your clothes are up to date.
Floor 1006 – Taxed to the Limit – 2016 Edition
Forget taxes when you have what I think is the very best waitress that I ever had. A fictional one, yes. But this one has worked hard to make for a very good read. Read this, but don’t forget to tip her! She has totally earned it.
Floor 1010– A Forum
When you have a conversation with an elvish Muse, things get quite interesting. Read it and see for yourself. As for the end, you might want to bring an interpreter who knows the elvish tongues of yore.
Floor 1013B – 1014 – From Superstition to Sweet Sixteen; Sunday Scorcher
With my Muse having so many transformations this 100 day cycle, I get curious about when this happens. For the following day, I face a teen with attitude. Go ahead and read. The worst that you’ll experience is her mood.
Floor 1018 – Not so Lazy Day
You might remember this from my first ever 100 day cycle. Laziness abounds. Lots of…laziness. Hurry and read this…before…forget it. I’m too lazy to finish this summ
Floor 1025 – Got it Maid
This one is on par with the waitress Muse. Quite possibly the best maid that you’ll ever see. She’ll wait on you hand and foot, and she’ll guarantee you a good read. Read it, because she’s definitely worth it.
Floor 1027 – SaturNESday?
A very short one. Definitely worth it. See for yourself.
Floor 1028 – Serene Sunday
How many forms will my Muse transform into? On this odd day, my Muse transforms into several forms, and that’s just in one minute! If you have ADD or just love channel surfing, this one is definitely up your alley. Read this, because variety is the spice of life.
Floor 1030 – Closing the Sale
It’s not so much the title here. My Muse, who is only a tween feels estranged from the time period she was in. Nostalgia abounds. Take a step back in time and enjoy this read.
Floor 1041 – Greetings From Battle Creek!
Why did I include this? For one thing, I make a correction to the robo-Muse that about to continue its state for the second day in a row. Then things get old, fast. Just read the newfangled entry and get off my lawn, you whippersnapper!
Floor 1045 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath
It’s not the pioneer Muse, but the wonderful recap of the Toastmasters spring conference that I attended. A wonderful hotel with a wonderful room. The food was amazing. This place was on fire…but not literally. Read it and be amazed.
Floor 1049 – Muse of Mystery
Who is this enigmatic Muse of Mystery? Notes of her origin can be traced back to various important events in history. While her real name is unknown, she goes by “The Muse”. She travels through time in a pink phone booth and works alone. When I think of her race, I can only think of…SPOILERS! Sorry. I cannot say anymore. But if curiosity gets the best of you, go ahead and read this one. There’s so much epicness here that you just might need a doctor. Doctor who? I don’t really know for sure, but if you desire to learn more about this mysterious Muse, go ahead and read it. It’s bigger on the inside.
Floor 1055 – Like a Child
Children have wonderful imaginations. But can we harness that for our own benefit? In this entry, I discuss this subject for a little bit. I am also greeted by my Muse, but she’s a third grader. Read this one, and embrace your inner child.
Floor 1056 – Plant vs. Muse
Guess what game I’m referencing with this one? If you’re in the dark, just look it up. I discuss zombies being poor at thinking and get attacked by a Muse zombie. Read this one and grab a pea shooter, just to be safe…They’re coming!
Floor 1062 – Larger than Life
If you remember “Grow Up“, “Growing Pains“, and “Growth Spurt“, it’s kind of like that, only this version features a Muse that is much more mature and grown up. She just keeps growing…and growing…and growing. Read this entry before she crushes it.
Floor 1063 – Sunday Short
While this entry was intended to be short, that pretty much went up in flames. This entry is an inferno. A fire that can’t be tamed. What’s with all the fiery references? Proceed through the embers and find out. And do be careful. This one’s hot!
Floor 1065 – A Golden Opportunity
Is there ever such a thing as too much gold? There is, when you have a solid gold Muse that turns things to gold with everything she touches. Midas has nothing on this priceless trinket. Go ahead and read this. It’s pure gold…literally. 24 karats of goodness.
Floor 1068 – Having a Ball
For not being a fan of this series, I think that I did a pretty decent job with this one. What ball do I have? A pokéball, of course! And what pokémon is my Muse? Now that would be spoiling the fun if I told you. Now if you want to be the very best, like no one ever was, gather your supplies and catch this entry while you can. Gotta read them all! Gotta read them all! Musémon!
Floor 1071 – Merry MonNESday
What do you get when your Muse is a seeress? I predict that you will find this one interesting IF you read it. Some surprises await in the future…
Floor 1072 – Keep it Simple, Stupid
Because there’s nothing simpler than someone who’s an idiot. This happens to be my Muse, who’s dumber than a sack of potatoes. This thing is really good, so…duh…read it, okay George?
Floor 1075 – A Dream Come True
Unable to truly awaken, my Muse is in a perpetual state of dreaming. Every one of her dreams becomes real, so beware. For all I know, she could still be dreaming right now. Go ahead and read this, and if anything looks surreal around you, you now know why. We are in her dream…
Floor 1084 – Baby Steps
Why did I choose this one? It’s not about the thoughtful piece regarding our careful pacing in trying something new. It’s about that cute little ball of sunshine that I had the misfortune of having to tend to. She’s a handful, but she’s cute, and she’ll surely win your heart. Go on and read this quickly. She’s crawling on my leg…
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1100th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1100 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this eleventh milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1100th floor. Was my Muse still alive? Having seen her yesterday, that was totally out of the question. If she was up here, she would be laying dead on her bed. Oh, I’m afraid to see what lies ahead…
A little like the 1000th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her normal form and…I felt for a pulse. A heartbeat…and I heard her calmly breathing, fast asleep. She’s alive!
Being shocked beyond belief, I thought that I lost her. But there she was, alive and well, resting on her king-sized bed.
There was a note attached to her. It surprised me that she was sleeping, considering that I thought that I lost her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1100. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 1001-1100
Floor 1001 – ExperiMENTAL 2.0 Floor 1002 – Advancing to Boardwalk – 2016 Edition Floor 1003 – Speech Contest – Round 2 Floor 1004 – Toastmasters – Day 3 Floor 1005 – …And it’s Finally Friday Floor 1006 – Taxed to the Limit – 2016 Edition Floor 1007 – Life Group – Day One Floor 1008 – Easy NESday… Floor 1009 – Warmer Conditions Ahead… Floor 1010 – A Forum Floor 1011 – Friday Eve Floor 1012 – Finally Friday at Last! Floor 1013 – Saturday Speech Contest Floor 1013B – From Superstition to Sweet Sixteen Floor 1014 – Sunday Scorcher Floor 1015 – A Hot NESday… Floor 1016 – Dough, I missed! Floor 1017 – WedNESday Bonus Floor 1018 – Not so Lazy Day Floor 1019 – Victorious Floor 1020 – Let the Weekend Begin… Floor 1021 – Sunday – The Quick Version Floor 1022 – Another MonNESday… Floor 1023 – Green Haircut Marathon – 2016 Inaugural Edition Floor 1024 – WedNESday – For Real This Time! Floor 1025 – Got it Maid Floor 1026 – Good Riddance… Floor 1027 – SaturNESday? Floor 1028 – Serene Sunday Floor 1029 – Starting Monday with a Splash Floor 1030 – Closing the Sale Floor 1031 – A Non-NESday… Floor 1032 – Mystery Speech Floor 1033 – Green Haircut – TGIF Edition Floor 1034 – Soggy Sunny Saturday Floor 1035 – Happy Mother’s Day! Floor 1036 – Monday Meeting Floor 1037 – Time for TuesNESday… Floor 1038 – Winding Down… Floor 1039 – The Weekend has Begun… Floor 1040 – Keep the Fire Burning! Floor 1041 – Greetings From Battle Creek! Floor 1042 – The Spring Conference Recap… Floor 1043 – MonNESday in May Floor 1044 – A Smooth Criminal Floor 1045 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath Floor 1046 – Spring Conference Speech Preparation Floor 1047 – Facing the Music Floor 1048 – Soothing SaturNESday Floor 1049 – Muse of Mystery Floor 1050 – MonNESday Aftermath Floor 1051 – Fat Chance Floor 1052 – Silence is Golden Floor 1053 – Tired Thursday Floor 1054 – Fantastic Friday Floor 1055 – Like a Child Floor 1056 – Plant vs. Muse Floor 1057 – Calming Down… Floor 1058 – Be Visible Floor 1059 – A Change of Plans... Floor 1060 – Green Haircut: The Quick Version Floor 1061 – Flapping Fun Friday Floor 1062 – Larger Than Life Floor 1063 – Sunday Short Floor 1064 – June MonNESday Floor 1065 – A Golden Opportunity Floor 1066 – Cell Phone Charger GET! Floor 1067 – Out of this World Floor 1068 – Having a Ball Floor 1069 – Fiery Hot SaturNESday Floor 1070 – Too Much Coffee Floor 1071 – Merry MonNESday Floor 1072 – Keep it Simple, Stupid Floor 1073 – More Ideas… Floor 1074 – Sick Day Floor 1075 – A Dream Come True Floor 1076 – DEC Training Floor 1077 – Happy Father’s Day! Floor 1078 – May the Force be With You Floor 1079 – Another Tuesday… Floor 1080 – Alien Where? Floor 1081 – Almost There… Floor 1082 – Friday Pay Day Floor 1083 – Early Training is Early Floor 1084 – Baby Steps Floor 1085 – Monday GoodNES… Floor 1086 – More Dancing! Floor 1087 – Wednesday is Over… Floor 1088 – Fiscal New Year’s Eve Floor 1089 – Fantastic Friday Floor 1090 – Saturday of Solitude Floor 1091 – Lucky Fourth of July Eve Floor 1092 – Happy Independence Day! Floor 1093 – Watered Down Floor 1094 – Like a Beast Floor 1095 – Double Your Fun Floor 1096 – Mystic Quest Floor 1097 – Three Years and Counting Floor 1098 – Nursing the Wounds Floor 1099 – Brain Freeze: Part IV Floor 1100 – Tower of Muses: The Eleventh Ascent
The high today is going to be 92 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1100th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1000, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How thoughtful. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…