Today, I have already worked my 8 to 2 shift at Little Caesars. I then mowed the back of my grandparent’s lawn. I am now getting ready to go down to Hemlock for the Toastmasters Area 15 & 16 Table Topics and Humorous Speech Contest. That is pretty much this day in a nutshell.
*teleports to Muse’s room and appears in front of Muse, laying down with her legs spread out on top of an open diaper*
Muse: Hi Kyle!
Um…Hi. Did you really need to bring me here in the middle of a diaper change? This is way more information than what the audience needs to know! And it’s soaked, too! At least you’re not doing a number two…
Nurture: *sigh* Musie dear, please don’t teleport Kyle here while I’m changing you. Bring him here when we’re done, okay?
Muse: No! I see Kyle now!
Let’s see. How is she today? Whoa… She’s 35.75 months. Almost 3 years old. Shouldn’t she be toilet trained by now?
Nurture: *sigh* Yes. I’ve been trying to get her to use the potty all day. Now Musie. Let mommy know when you have to go potty again, okay?
Nurture: No? Why not?
Muse: I don’t wanna be a big girl! I wanna be a baby!
Nurture: You’re being a silly girl today! Yes you do want to be a big girl! Mommy will give you some candy if you use the potty okay?
Nurture: But only if you use the potty like a big girl, okay?
Muse: I use potty and get candy!
Let’s see…She’s 32 inches tall today and she weighs 26.5 pounds. The height of an 18 month old and the weight of a two-year old.
Nurture: And she’s in size 4 diapers now, too! But I also have 4T underwear if she can use the potty like a big girl.
Well, I need to get going. I’ll let you finish her diaper change.
Nurture: Okay. Sorry about this. She’s quite a handful teleporting you here!
It’s okay. I’ve changed her a number of times by now. I need to get ready. Bye!
Nurture: Say bye to Kyle, Musie dear!
Muse: Bye Kyle!
Bye Muse! Use the potty, okay?
*teleports back to reality*
Well that was awkward. But she’s only three years old, so I’m not too mad at her. Now to get ready for the contest…
Today’s high is going to be 80 degrees and the silver lining is tonight’s speech contest.To those of you who love attending events, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Nurture: There. You’re all changed, honey. Tell mommy when you need to go potty, and I’ll take you there. I’ll then give you some candy! Okay?
Nurture: Time for your afternoon nap. Sleep well, my princess…
*Nurture kisses Muse, places her in her crib, and leaves room*
Muse: I just goed again…