Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include a totally different post from Day 1300 and a nearly identical post from Day 1200. I don’t know about you, but with it being Monday, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 1300th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 1300th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the twelfth time in a row? My, what a milestone! I do need to applaud for your originality…if you had any! This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 1000! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm. Smashing! I don’t think that I will change a thing! Although I did change “1300th” to “1400th” and “eleventh” to “twelfth” but now we’re just nit-picking, aren’t we? And while we’re at it, why don’t we recycle almost everything in this entire post? Wait! What I just included was new! So much for sticking to my plan…*sigh*) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! REDUNDANCY WARNING! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! Well it’s a good thing that I have included that redundancy warning! Otherwise, you would not have been forewarned of said redundancies. What? Did you really think that I was going to forget about it? I remembered! Go me! I rock!) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a slightly cheap reconstruction of an entry made 300 days ago. (Not quite. I made some subtle changes and included a note to the reader to reread the 1300th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 400 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I am aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective…wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound…wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 1300? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 1300. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is… different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see…
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there. (We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 1400! Maybe we should change it soon…) I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle was overjoyed with ecstasy from the overwhelming greenness.) Clovers and wildflowers. Yellow, orange, and red leaves. A sea of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful luminescent sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like a lavishly decorated castle that Cinderella would live in. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building designed like a castle,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 1301st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 1301st floor.
Approaching a pink colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Princess Muse” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago…”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 1400 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see…I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 1313 – Knight in Shining Armor
This is what you would expect from a typical fantasy. The knight saves the damsel in distress and the kingdom is saved. But there’s a twist to this one. Read it and find out.
Floor 1314 – Sleeping Beauty
The princess theme continues with another classic. My Muse is in a deep slumber and unable to awaken. How do I awaken her? Go ahead and read it. Just don’t let it put you to sleep. Still awake? Good.
Floor 1315 – Bad Hair Day
In this particular one, my Muse’s hair grows out of control. With so much hair, how can we tame it? And where are we going to get all the shampoo to wash it? Things get quite hairy in this one, so read with care. and bring plenty of conditioner. Watch out for the tangles!
Floor 1321 – A Little Problem…
Since when did the royal castle have a child as the princess of the kingdom? In this one, I find out that my Muse is now a five-year old. Who has bewitched her with this fountain of youth? How will anyone take her seriously if she looks like a little girl? Read this one, and remember. She is still an adult on the inside. Don’t intimidate her!
Floor 1334 – Time to Switch
Now this is history in the making. Well, maybe. In this wonderful entry, I finally acquire the Nintendo Switch, a video game console that is already taking the world by storm. Read this one, enjoy the wonderful wittiness and…SWITCH! Look for the twist. Read it and consider buying your very own Nintendo Switch.
Floor 1337– So 1337…
This entry is made of win. It’s a display of total epic sauce and pure pwnage. Not familiar with the significance of leet? If so, then you’re made of phail. Those who know 1337 are made of win. They are teh pure pwnage. Want to be the super ultra epic sauce of pure pwnage? Read this entry then. Skip it and you’re made of phail sauce. Don’t be teh suxxorz. Read it and embrace teh 1337ness!
Floor 1342 – Happy Birthday, dad!
While this one covers my dad’s birthday a little bit, I actually chose this one for a different reason. My Muse, who is still trapped in the body of a five-year old wanted to talk to me. What did she talk with me about? The plot thickens. Read this one and you will find out.
Floor 1347 – Friday Eve
In this one, things get worse with my Muse. How do they get worse? I’m sorry. You will just have to read and find out for yourself.
Floor 1349– SaturNESday?
In this one, the plot thickens. My Muse gets a promotion. She is now queen? And who is this Dolores? All will be revealed, so read this one and find out.
Floor 1355 – Ah, Friday…
Happy endings are the staple in every fairy tale. In this particular entry, we see the conclusion to the spellbound Muse saga. How does the ending turn out? I am not going to spoil that. Read this one, and watch out for witches!
Floor 1359 – Cheesy Bacon Hot Dogs and Chili
With such a title like that, it really gets my mouth watering. In this one, I play the cook, and prepare a nice dinner for my family. Cheesy bacon hot dogs are good, and you should definitely try them. Try this entry. Read it, and enjoy the bacony crunch. Or enjoy it with some real bacon.
Floor 1365 – A Day of Boredom…
I basically talk about how my friend can’t come over, due to a cold. But something different is going on with my Muse. She now has the nickname “Muserella”. Are we doing fairy tales again? Does she have wicked stepsisters now now? Read this one, and know that all your dreams will come true.
Floor 1372 – Conceal, Don’t Feel
Need I say more? In this rather chilly one, my Muse is frustrated with her new ice powers. Do you want to build a snowman? She can can do this with no problem! Don’t let this go. Bundle up and read this chiller. Afterall, the cold never bothered me anyway.
Floor 1373 – Beauty and the Beast
Contrary to the popular remake that’s out right now, I have had this planned before I even knew about that movie. With a slight twist from the original story, a mysterious beast is in the castle. It attacks me and it protects her. How do I stop it? Do I kill the beast? Read this tale that’s as old as time. Hurry, before the last rose petal falls!
Floor 1375 – It’s Dangerous to Go Alone! Take this!
In this one, I acquire my epic strategy guide for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. But it’s much more than a strategy guide. It’s bigger than the other ones. It’s a super-strategy guide. A strategy guide on steroids. It would eat other strategy guides for breakfast. Don’t believe me? Read it, and glance at the picture. This is no ordinary adventure, so heed the wisdom of the Old Man from the original Legend of Zelda: It’s Dangerous to Go Alone! Take this! Or in this case, “It’s Dangerous to Go Alone! Read this!”
Floor 1379 – More MonNES…
Wait a second! We’re not done? I thought we were! She’s back? Yes she is. In this one, the unexpected happens. Who came back? Why am I so excited about this? Read this one, and all will be revealed.
Floor 1384 – Saturday Solitude
It all ends right here. For real this time. Sometimes, fairy tales have plot twists, and there were plenty during this 100 day run. How does the story conclude? Grab some popcorn, and read this exciting conclusion.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 1400th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a satisfied nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 1400 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this fourteenth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 1400th floor.
A little like the 1300th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other, which was one fourth the size of the bed that was in Entry 1000. Pretty much the same room as the 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 9ooth story, the 800th story, the 700th story, the 600th story, the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story, and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 1300th story, 1200th story, 1100th story, 900th story, 800th story, 700th story, 600th story, 500th story, 400th story, and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was in her princess form and fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 1400. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 1300th floor, the 1200th floor, the 1100th floor, the 1000th floor, the 900th floor, the 800th floor, the 700th floor, the 600th floor, the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor, and the 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 1301-1400
Floor 1301 – Princess Muse Floor 1301B – A City… Floor 1302 – An Invention… Floor 1303 – An Airplane… Floor 1304 – A Fish… Floor 1305 – A Borrower… Floor 1306 – A Castle… Floor 1307 – A Bathhouse… Floor 1308 – Super Bowl Large – Part I Floor 1309 – Long Overdue NESday… Floor 1310 – For the Want of a Nail Floor 1311 – Middle of the Week Floor 1312 – A New Toastmasters Club Floor 1313 – Knight in Shining Armor Floor 1314 – Sleeping Beauty Floor 1315 – Sleeping Beauty – Part II Floor 1316 – Bad Hair Day Floor 1317 – Happy Hallmark Day… Floor 1318 – Singled Out… Floor 1319 – Funeral… Floor 1320 – Weekend… Floor 1321 – A Little Problem… Floor 1322 – Respite… Floor 1323 – A Bad Case of the Mondays Floor 1324 – Free Car Wash Floor 1325 – More Job Hunting… Floor 1326 – More time with a friend Floor 1327 – Friday Finish Floor 1328 – Saturday Start Floor 1329 – Sleepy Sunday Floor 1330 – A Much Better Case of the Mondays Floor 1331 – Mardi Gras and Open up and Say AHHH! Floor 1332 – Ashes to Ashes… Floor 1333 – Job Fair… Floor 1334 – Time to Switch Floor 1335 – LEGO My Batman Movie… Floor 1336 – Simple Sunday Floor 1337 – So 1337… Floor 1338 – A Bad Case of the Tuesdays… Floor 1339 – Windy Wednesday Floor 1340 – For the Want of a Nail: Part II Floor 1341 – It’s-a me, MAR10! Floor 1342 – Happy Birthday, dad! Floor 1343 – Birthday Celebration and Springing Ahead Floor 1344 – Can Winter End Already? Floor 1345 – Easy as Pi Floor 1346 – Not Quite Friday Yet… Floor 1347 – Friday Eve Floor 1348 – Lucky Day Floor 1349 – SaturNESday? Floor 1350 – Spring Eve Floor 1351 – Time for Spring Floor 1352 – Time for Toastmasters Floor 1353 – Halfway Point Floor 1354 – Long and Tiresome Thursday Floor 1355 – Ah, Friday… Floor 1356 – Can I PLEASE Enjoy the Rest of my Saturday? Floor 1357 – Satisfying Sunday Floor 1358 – Back to the Grind… Floor 1359 – Cheesy Bacon Hot Dogs and Chili Floor 1360 – Work and a Movie Floor 1361 – Long Day, Not Writing Today Floor 1362 – Me & My Muse is Finally Ending this Time Floor 1363 – April Fools! Floor 1364 – A Respite… Floor 1365 – A Day of Boredom… Floor 1366 – Freeze Frame Floor 1367 – Fast Forward Floor 1368 – My Arm… Floor 1369 – Underwhelming Friday Floor 1370 – Hitting the DEC in Okemos Floor 1371 – Palm Sunday Respite Floor 1372 – Conceal, Don’t Feel Floor 1373 – Beauty and the Beast Floor 1374 – Busy busy busy… Floor 1375 – It’s Dangerous to go Alone! Take this! Floor 1376 – Good Friday Floor 1377 – Easter Eve Floor 1378 – Happy Easter! Floor 1379 – More MonNES… Floor 1380 – Tuesday Toastmasters Meeting… Floor 1381 – WedNESday… Floor 1382 – Thursday Toastmasters Meeting… Floor 1383 – It’s Friday! Phew… Floor 1384 – Saturday Solitude Floor 1385 – Sunday Solice Floor 1386 – Green Haircut – Spring 2017 Inaugural Edition Floor 1387 – A Clean Bathroom and the Bills are Paid… Floor 1388 – And the Food is Bought! Floor 1389 – All in a Day’s Work Floor 1390 – Time for the Weekend… Floor 1391 – Time for a Nap… Floor 1392 – Happy Rainday… Floor 1393 – It May Rain… Floor 1394 – Time for Toastmasters… Floor 1395 – Green Haircut – Part II Floor 1396 – May the Fourth be With You Floor 1397 – Pre-Conference Checklist Floor 1398 – Greetings From Okemos! Floor 1399 – Toastmasters District 62 Spring Conference Aftermath Floor 1400 – Tower of Muses: The Fourteenth Ascent
The high today is going to be 56 degrees and the silver lining is having this 1400th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 1300, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…How cute. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll…What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…