Having about one million followers, Oprah has officially crowned Kutcher “king of twitter”.  With that, he was able to beat his competitor, CNN news.

Meet the new king of Twitter. In the race to the 1 millionth Twitter follower, Actor Ashton Kutcher beat out cable news giant CNN early Friday morning. Soon after hitting the 1 million mark, Kutcher tweeted to his flock of followers “Victory is ours!!!!!!!!” The actor’s Twitter account crossed 1 million followers at about 2:13 a.m. ET today, according to CNN. The news outlet said it had 998,239 followers at the time. “This is like putting a man on the moon. This is changing media forever,” Kutcher said on the streaming video site Ustream.tv just before hitting his goal. “It’s the Web versus the world right now people.”

With all those followers,  Ashton better hope that he doesn’t get punk’d.  There could be some jealous Twitterer  dishing out some cyberprank, beating Mr. Kutcher at his own game.  The jealous Twitter twit would then gleefully smile declaring his victory.  “IN YO FACE, ASHTON!”

Now I’m on my way to becoming king of Twitter.  I only need about a few hundred thousand more followers and I’m set. Look out, Ashton.  You won’t be king for long.

I mean,  they had no clue what yesterday’s tea party was about! When covering a tea party in Chicago yesterday,  CNN’s Susan Roesgan made a complete idiot out of herself.

Now CNN”s ratings are already plummeting, and then an act of stupidity like this happens.  Who gives a flying frick about stimulus money?  This “stimulus money” is coming out of this protester’s pocket, Susan!

Futhermore, Susan lashed out at Fox News for promoting this tea party.  What the heck?  Fox had to carry most of the slack, since the other networks either barely reported it, or did not report it at all. My advice for Susan would be to take it easy.  Don’t be hatin’.

In regards to maintaining the standard of journalism, this is about as low as you can go.  For CNN, this is pretty low, and it really takes the cake.

Today is tax day, and a large number of T.E.A. parties are going on. I would love to go to one of these,  but none of them are within driving distance. At least I can still get the coverage.  There are around 500 tea parties going on, so if you wish,  grab some tea, some scones, and some blank tax forms. Let the nation-wide strike begin!

*throws box of tea and tax forms into Boston Harbor*

No taxation without representation!

—— EDIT: I actually found a tea party.  It was at 6:30 p.m. in Midland, Michigan.  Take THAT, Washington!

Once again, on the “Blog that Nobody Reads” (Heh.  I think I’ll start calling my blog this.),  we have Democrats labeling conservative people as extremists.  They even put out a report warning people of violence from “right-wing extremists”.

A newly unclassified Department of Homeland Security report warns against the possibility of violence by unnamed “right-wing extremists” concerned about illegal immigration, increasing federal power, restrictions on firearms, abortion and the loss of U.S. sovereignty and singles out returning war veterans as particular threats. The report, titled “Right-wing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment,” dated April 7, states that “threats from white supremacist and violent anti-government groups during 2009 have been largely rhetorical and have not indicated plans to carry out violent acts.”

So wait.  Let me get this straight.  Conservatives are terrorists now? Weren’t the Democrats the same party that said that dissension was patriotic?  They lambasted President Bush and all his policies and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said that “the surge failed”.  They did all this to Bush, but if we are against their policy, oh, we can’t do that.

So if this is so, anyone who listens to talk radio is a target.  Anyone who watches Fox News is a target.  Anyone who supports Ron Paul is a target.  If anyone lives, breathes and practices conservatism,  they are a “right-wing extremist”.   If this same criteria is applied to the Bush years with all ideologies reversed, then all the liberals were “left-wing extremists”. According to the report, “right-wing extremists” are those that “reject federal authority”.

Wait a second!  What the heck is federal authority?  Federal authority is anything that the Obama Regime wants you to do.  It is supremacy of the government.

Dissension is not an option.  You don’t have a voice in this so just shut up and let us do whatever the heck we want.

Isn’t federal authority also the trillions of dollars a year of wasting spending that is going to come out of our pockets?  You may have heard it before but this has been tried in other countries but failed.  Japan tried it during the “Lost Decade” in the 90’s and it was a failure.  Out of control spending will eventually result in printing money, causing inflation.  Conseratives are not extremists.  They are not anti-government.  They just want less government interfering with their lives.

I think the Democrats should change their saying to this:  “Dissension is patriotic – unless you’re a conservative.”

Another one for you crickets on the “Blog that Nobody Reads”.  Since nobody reads this crap anyway, I will close with a haiku.

Blogging’s shine has dimmed

Lost in a sea of search results

No one can find

Meh.  This blog needs traffic.

And it’s time to ask the all important question:  Have you done your taxes yet?

There are some people who get their taxes done early and there are others who wait until the very last minute to do them.  Yadda yadda yadda.  You know who you are.

As for me, I did not have to file any, since I have not made a dime last year.  Having invested in the most expensive plaque that you could hang on the wall of your den, my Journalism degree has not found me anything at all.  And this was all at my parent’s expense.  I compare writers to artists, since their disposition is very much the same.  If they can’t sell their work, they will starve to death.

But this blog is not about my unfortunate disposition in being unable to break into the prodigious writing industry.  It is about me, blathering on and on about the latest political headlines that I can get my hands on.  It is about me, entertaining you with my witty banter and razor sharp sarcasm.  It is about me throwing myself to the edge of insanity with my outlandish remarks  and….yeah, you get the point.

Staying on topic, tomorrow is when those taxes are due.  There will also be tea parties going on around the country.  There will be plenty to watch tomorrow, indeed. Why am I going through the hassle of typing this? Heck.  Nobody reads this crap anyways.  The only audience I have here is some crickets and some dead pig corpses from my earlier posts.  With that, I will just say goodbye…to myself.

Dang, I need a publicist.

It was a showdown, but we got ’em good! The Somali Pirates should’ve thought twice about messing with us. The bottom line: We won, and the captain is safe.  Let’s hear it for the U.S. Navy!

With the Easter weekend approaching, I will be resuming Monday.  Until then, have a great Good Friday.

The Somali pirates still have one of our captains hostage, and we aren’t leaving until we get him back. Go Navy! Make those thieving bilge rats sorry they ever plundered our ship and kidnapped our captain.  They’ll rue the day they ever decided to sail the seven seas….

Now this is just outrageous. Microsoft,  of all companies, is building a bridge using some of the stimulus money.

Microsoft is getting some serious criticism these days, following disclosures that the federal stimulus package would help pay for a bridge connecting the company’s two campuses in Redmond, Wash. The 480-foot overpass is being described as a “shovel-ready” project that would ease local congestion, reports ComputerWorld. Microsoft is contributing $17.5 million of the cost and the federal government is planning on adding $11 million.

With Microsoft being one of the wealthiest companies in the world, I think they should pay for the whole bridge themselves.  Heck.  We pay for pretty much most of their products that we use on our computers (of course, with the exception of the Mac users).

Why should we have to pay for their bridge? Other companies like Sears and Nintendo will be getting a free ride on this bridge as well, all at the goverment and Microsoft’s expense.  Microsoft should be paying for the whole thing,  but were unable to resist having the government pick up part of the tab.

With Microsoft Bridge 2009 in place, I can only hope for one thing — there better not be any bugs in it.

Mr. Obama, if it’s anything you should be apologizing about, it’s for amassing a debt greater than the total debt from George Washington to George W. Bush.  Or perhaps it should be for breaking your campaign promises that you made to your democratic compatriots.

Furthermore, you should apologize to every person, every child, and every grandchild that will have to pay for the debt that you gave this country.  None of the apologies that you gave to Europe and Turkey were necessary. Are you apologizing for our success? Our arrogance?  In keeping this world safe from terrorism, I would not call this arrogance.  Killing Zarqawi, capturing Saddam Hussein, liberating Iraq from a tyrannical dictator….This is the furthest thing from arrogance.

The United States was the most kind, and the most benevolent country the world has ever seen.  What reason would Obama have to apologize? Obama apologized because of the adulation and praise he craved from each country he visited on his European tour.  It was one big ego trip.  Unforunately, some countries didn’t receive him so well.

I am tired of the apologies.  They are not necessary considering our track record with the rest of the world.  And if you must apologize, apologize to America for ruining this country.

Is President Obama out of his mind? Right after North Korea launches a rocket, he made a call for a world without nukes.

Just hours after North Korea launched a long-range rocket, President Barack Obama called for “a world without nuclear weapons” and said the United States has a “moral responsibility ” to lead the way, as the only nation ever to use them.

As Obama’s first step in this direction, he wants to get rid of our nuclear weapons.   What really astounds me is how the liberal politicians are able to function without a brain.  I think it’s  a prerequisite.  That, or a disease.

The Stupidity Epidemic runs rampant in Washington, with no doctor with enough experience in their field of practice to cure them. Does Obama really think that other countries are going to dispose of their nuclear weapons?  Countries like Iran, China, North Korea, Russia, and Sudan?  Obama so bad wants to play “follow the leader”, but none of these countries will follow suit.  If anything, these countries will point their fingers at us and laugh.

I am afraid that Obama doesn’t value our security and is living in some kind of fantasy world.  I don’t think he understands that those nukes are this country’s vitally important means of defense against politically unstable countries.  In giving up our nukes, we would be raising the white flag of surrender. Now after being in office for nearly 11 weeks, this would have to be one of the most outright stupid decisions Obama has ever made in his presidency.  Okay, he has made several stupid decisions, but this one has earned a spot on a David Letterman top ten list.

What is Obama going to do with the football, that black suitcase that allows him to launch a nuclear weapon at any given time?  Maybe he’ll just deactivate it, and make America a much more dangerous place to live.  Having the ability to launch a nuke anytime and giving that up would be irresponsible and the worst form of treachery. Just as Queen Victoria has said before, I will say it again.  We are not amused.

Does Obama really think that the Queen will listen to an iPod with a playlist like this?  First of all, Obama doesn’t even know what music the Queen is into.  Heck.  She could be into the Beetles or the Rolling Stones and he wouldn’t even have a clue. When all things are said and done, I think that the Queen will go back to her 6 GB silver iPod Mini.  At least her own playlist is on there, and when it comes to iPods,  no playlist is better than your own playlist. The Queen would know, and Obama should know better.

Or at least tea labels for that matter.   It’s clear common sense not to send a tea bag to Washington, for they would suspect the foreign substance in the bag to be something other than tea.  Anthrax, drugs, or  some weapon of bioterrorism.

Now don’t get me wrong, as I would not subject myself to such an atrocity. My Tea Party package consisted of a letter, expressing my outrage concerning the wasteful spending, fiscal irresponsibility, and unrelenting narcissism in Congress.  It contains my pent-up rage, which clearly explains the mood of the American people.  It clearly tells them how I am tired of Stimulus.  Tired of Omnibus.  Tired of them usurping our power.  Of bankrupting our future, and the future of our children.

Furthermore, it explains how I am fed up with the oppressive tyranny that is being forced on the American people.  How they plan on limiting our freedom, and dictating how we are to think and act as Americans.  It says how I am tired of the liberals in Washington pursuing their own self-interests, when they should be pursuing the interests of We, the American people.  It gives a clear statement to the liberal politicians in Washington that we want to take back what’s ours.   To be returned what was stolen.  To rebuild what was broken.  To establish and restore every last vestige that made America great.

And all this was expressed in my letter in just 10 words:  WE’RE MAD AS HELL AND WE WANT OUR COUNTRY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now 43 exclamation points is a lot of rage to send to Washington.

Getting back on track, the Tea Party package also had a Lipton tea label stapled to each of the 3 letters I sent.  One was sent to Senator Carl Levin.  The second was sent to Senator Debbie Stabenow.  The last one was sent to President Barak Obama. With the rage-filled letters sent, and the thousands they will get from other Americans, the letters will serve one of two purposes.  They will either change their ways, or use our letters as fire fuel.

I’m suggesting the latter, and am now wondering if spending $1.26 was worth it.

Call it a hunch,  but I feel that this G20 summit is not going to solve our financial woes. While Obama and 19 other world leaders are gearing up to “solve the world’s problems”,  thousands are protesting in the streets of London.

Thousands of angry demonstrators rallied in London Wednesday on the eve of a G20 summit on the global economic crisis, as police deployed in force. Amid bright spring sunshine, demonstrators rallied to causes ranging from helping the world’s poor, action against climate change and punishing those reponsible for the current downturn. “It’s our money they’ve stolen” read a placard branded outside the Bank of England, as huge crowds gathered in the City to protest Thursday’s summit. One protestor dressed as the Grim Reaper led the rally to the central bank, where demonstrators chanted: “Build a bonfire, build a bonfire. Put the bankers on the top. “Put (Prime Minister) Gordon Brown in the middle. And then burn the … lot,” they added.

Do you think that these demonstrators know something about what’s going on?  For one thing,  Gordon Brown is not well liked, and he’s buddy-buddy with President Obama.   The other issue at hand is that these people have lost money, and they want it back.

What’s worse than having one Obama is having two Obamas: The original and one with British flair.  The prime minister,  of course, is only part of the issue. While the pandemonium continues on the streets, 20 nations meet behind closed doors, discussing “solutions” to the world’s financial woes.   One of their solutions is a global currency, something that the UN would just love to have implemented.

In addition to that, there would be a push for international regulation of the US economy. Call me crazy, but I don’t think that this summit is going to bring any solutions.  It will, however, eventually usher in an Orwellian age that no one is prepared for. Now I may be little ahead of myself, but something just doesn’t seem right with a throng of 4,000+ unruly people ravaging the streets of London.  With this unprecedented chaos, I don’t think French president Nicolas Sarkozy will be walking out on the summit.

The whole idea of this riot outside of the G20 summit is just shocking.  I guess some opposition was to be expected at this summit, but never at this level.  With the tensions rising here and in the UK, I guess they had it coming to them.  In implementing half-baked policies and engaging in wanton spending, both here and in Britain, this has escalated anger to its breaking point.  Fortunes have been lost and fiscal irresponsibility has come to an all-time high.   This has unleashed a pack of angry demonstrators to create the revolutionary shot heard around the world.  These people have had enough.

And along the lines of Twisted Sister “they’re not going to take it anymore”.  This is what happens when the people are ignored. Washington should be at their desks, vigorously taking notes.   There’s going to be a test.

President Obama just pulled a Donald Trump. Rick Wagoner, the chairman and CEO of General Motors, was asked to step down by the president.  This was clearly the way the Donald would do it, only he didn’t use the words “You’re Fired”. So there you go.

Obama is now going after the automobile industry.  He is going to use “government intervention” to help out GM.  That’s Obamaese for taking over the automobile industry.  You didn’t do anything quick enough.  So it’s time for us to take over. If Karl Marx was still alive, he would be jealous at the socialist agenda that our president is pushing.

Obama has set a record for spending the most money in history in just under a couple months.  Somebody call Guinness. If the government is going to take over the automobile industry, us chubby Americans better start losing weight.  We’re going to need it to be able to fit in the cars that we will all be mandated to drive.  GM will be forced to come out with their version of the Beetle.

It is official: General Motors is now Government Motors. Thank you Obama, for ruining the state that I live in.

This clearly explains my absence for much of the week.  Having a limited audience and hit count,  I have been searching for work.  As I have said before, this blog does not pay the bills. Thus ends another week.  Stay tuned for more news and updates, as I will be back on Monday. In the meantime, check my twitter for updates, as I keep it updated regularly. And now for a cheesy cliched quote from Terminator:  I’ll be bock.

That’s because the Obama Regime has successfully renamed it.  The “war on terror” has officially retired and is being renamed the  “Overseas Contingency Operation”.

More recently, we’ve noticed that Barack Obama and his aides have barely used “war on terror” at all, in favor of more broad terms like the “ongoing struggle against violence and terrorism.” But let’s face it: “Overseas Contingency Operation” does not exactly roll off the tongue. Just as “The artist formerly known as Prince” was always still “Prince,” the “war” will probably always be the “war.”

I bet you are all thrilled.  Let’s end the “Overseas Contingency Operation”!  It fits…so…well? Now wasn’t the Department of Homeland Security supposed to protect us from TERRORISM?  Oh! I just said the T-word! I better get a “mold consisting of anionic surfactant”.

With all the renaming going on here, I have decided to rename the Department of Homeland Security.  We will now call it the “Department of Political Nomenclature”. If this is what Washington does everyday, then we are doomed.  But hey! At least we have a catchy new name, right?

Thomas Paine is so angry that he came back from the dead to share this message with you: his very own stimulus package.

Well said, Thomas Paine. If America actually adopts this “common sense” and bashes Washington in the head with it, maybe then this country will start to change. And then Mr. Paine can go back to his grave and rest in peace.

It looks like our new Secretary of Homeland Security has a problem with the word terrorism.  Janet Napolitano, for some reason, just decided to not use the word anymore!

Contrast it with the new secretary of homeland security, Janet Napolitano, who, in her first speech and testimony to Congress, the same week as Mr. Mueller’s remarks, did not mention the word terrorism once. This week in an interview with Der Spiegel, she was pressed: “Does Islamist terrorism suddenly no longer pose a threat to your country?” Her reply: “I presume there is always a threat from terrorism.” It’s true she didn’t use the word terrorism in her speech, but she did refer to “man-caused” disasters. “This is perhaps only a nuance, but it demonstrates that we want to move away from the politics of fear.”

I find this to be quite interesting.  Especially since the Obama Regime has used their own “politics of fear” on the American people.   You hear the word crisis being mentioned everywhere.  The economy was being talked down by President Obama.  Why did it go down? Fear.

Napolitano’s attempt to rename terrorism is a “man-caused disaster”. Is she going to rename other things commonly identified in our culture? Oh, that’s not a sandwich.  That’s filling between two slices of bread.  That’s not an airplane.  That’s a winged flying apparatus.  That’s not a crime.  That’s an insubordination to authority.

If Napolitano can rename terrorism, two can play at that game.  I have renamed “administration”, when specifially referring to Obama’s presidency.   Instead, I use the word regime, since this is a more fitting term for the people in Obama’s Cabinet. Washington, you never cease to amuse me.

After almost two consecutive weeks of technical difficulties, my blog is finally alive and well.

For those of you who are curious about what those technical difficulties are, here is what happened.  As a technoid geek novice, I single-handedly screwed up my blog when I was updating my WordPress.  Pretty noobish thing to do, eh?

To make a long story short, my “tech support” was able to fix my mistakes and now we’re back online.

Well, after nearly two weeks of inactivity in the political realm,  I am just itching to spread my bloggy goodness all over the blogosphere. Get ready, Washington, because the real fun is about to start.