Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an almost identical post from Day 500. I don’t know about you, but with it being a day that I have off, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s still me from last time! The very same me from the 500th entry! You don’t believe me, do you? Well, go back and read the 500th entry and then go and tell me who’s lying. And while we’re on redundancies, how much longer is he going to recycle this piece of rubbish? I’m all about saving the environment, but recycling this for the fifth time in a row? This is getting ridiculous! There hasn’t been anything original since entry 100! Oh well. I need to acknowledge his busy life, as I am quite busy myself, re-narrating this over-narrated narration… For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm.) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! How many more times are you going to recycle this? Wait! I’ve said that already! I should’ve included a redundancy warning! Oh well! Maybe next time…) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I removed the old content and included a note to the reader to reread the 500th entry which would provide a basis of proof that I am the same narrator that narrated 100 days ago.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I (am?) (Don’t want to reuse a draft with a grammatical mistake now, do we?) aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective… (There. Ellipses have three dots, not four.) wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah…Long profound… (Two more ellipses successfully corrected! Aren’t we good at proofreading and narrating!) wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 500? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 500. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post, I notice that this tower is….different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see….
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there (Same field? We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps? But this is entry 600! Maybe we’ll wait until 1000…). I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle started getting a headache from the overwhelming greenness. So green that all the environmental groups gave this very post their highest award for the amazing greenery and clean air that they could smell when they closed their eyes, trying to imagine a world very much like the greenery in this post.) Green clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red roses. Orange lilies. Purple daisies. Pink tulips. A sea
of (sea-of? My are we the master wordsmith! It’s a good thing that I changed it. You can thank me later.) color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago. (Except for everything else in this entry that I changed so far. My, am I on a roll today!)
The colorful flowering sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure. (Oh, come on! You ask her that every single time! Shouldn’t you know the answer already?)
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 501st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still…” (It’s three dots for an ellipses! How many times do we have to make these deletions?)
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee…” (Not four. THREE!)
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time… (*sigh*) ”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 501st floor.
Approaching a service desk decorated with pinks, purples and bright sparkling glitter, I squinted my eyes and noticed a different Muse sitting there. A really small Muse. One with fairy wings and only three inches tall. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Greetings, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures my true fairy form, 99 days ago…A Muse that has yet to become reborn as a real fairy. Tee hee!”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 600 now.”
At this, my Muse sighed. “Don’t go there yet! Go to the others first! Tee hee!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see….I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 501 – Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary
This is the beginning of what I consider to be my favorite story arcs. A mysterious book. A magical fairy with fairy secrets. This must-read will grant all of your wishes.
Floor 515 – Christmas Shopping – Part I
While this talks about Christmas shopping, there is something else that stands out. More of the story arc is unveiled as Kyle has the fairy Muse all figured out. The plot thickens, so please read it now.
Floor 518 – Starting Late
A Muse is reborn into a real fairy. Is Kyle too late? Another riveting creative journal entry that will have you enchanted.
Floor 524 – 50 Years of Rudolph
In this one, I acknowledge the 50 year anniversary of the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer TV special. A good reflective piece and a good read indeed.
Floor 536 – Christmas Aftermath
Just a little update on what I did on Christmas. It was a fun Christmas indeed and very merry. Another good read.
Floor 549 – A Break at Last…
The Dark Muse is back! But what trouble does she cause this time? Read this one and find out.
Floor 556 – Fish out of Water
This is a good segway from the entry that I wrote the previous day. A hectic day with something “fishy” going on. A delicious read best experienced with tartar sauce.
Floor 558– Do You Want to Build A Snowman?
At long last, I satisfy my childhood longing to build a snowman. The Dark Fairy Muse builds one too, but in a different way. Bundle up and read this. It’s really cold outside.
Floor 561 – Breakfast for Dinner
In this one, traditional dinner is abandoned in favor of the most important meal of the day: breakfast. Pour a glass of orange juice and read this. And as a suggestion, this entry tastes best sunny side up.
Floor 562 – Chilly Wednesday
On a cold Wednesday, I “freeze” a story arc by using my Director’s Privileges. This allows a behind the scenes view of Me & My Muse. Hilarity ensues. A good read, whether you’re on or off the set.
Floor 571 – Mandatory Propaganda
What happens when you score some tickets to a Weird Al Yankovic Concert? You compose a humorous entry portraying a communist propaganda message, that’s what! You will read this entry and you will have fun. You will call this entry clever and will revere the Honorable Chairman Al.
Floor 576 – An Airplane
A fresh and clever piece about the newest Miyazaki movie. Take flight. Take to the skies and read this entry. And thank you for choosing Walker Estate airlines.
Floor 582 – A Free Day…
The Dark Fairy Muse becomes a real fairy at last. Kyle mourns the loss of his Muse. But how does Kyle cope? Read this touching entry and find out. (And you have just been tricked. Never trust a fairy…Tee hee!)
Floor 590 – Bacon-Wrapped Goodness…
What have I started? Something absolutely delicious, of course! In this one, I talk about the latest product that you can buy at my work: The Bacon-Wrapped Crust DEEP! DEEP! Dish pizza. This entry has plenty of bacon and it is all good. Read it, ask for seconds and read it again. There’s plenty to go around.
Floor 591 – BRRR!!!!
In this one, I talk about could possibly be the coldest day ever. And I’m not exaggerating. When the high for today is below zero, you know that you’re dealing with the extreme cold. Bundle up really good when you read this. Build a fire and drink some hot chocolate. This entry is COLD…
Floor 592 – Peanut Buttery Chocolatey Goodness
Where’s the fun in talking about a 9 hour closing shift that ends at midnight? I avoid discussion of this altogether by focusing on a very delicious dessert: A king-sized Reese’s Big Cup. That’s a lot of chocolate and a lot of peanut butter in this one. Savor it and read it, one word at a time.
Floor 594 – Go Hang a Salami! I’m a Lasagna Hog!
Why did I even include this one? It has to be the attention-grabbing palindrome. That’s about it. Read it and see for yourself.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 600th floor…
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s amazing how much you know about those floors!” she told me. “Especially since you haven’t even visited them…tee hee!”
“Oh, I don’t need to…” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a timid nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 600 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this sixth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them…
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 600th floor.
Like the 500th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other. Pretty much the same room as the 500th story, the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 500th story, 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right….
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 600. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 500th floor, the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 501-600
Floor 501 – Fairy, Fairy, Quite Contrary Floor 502 – Jumping for Joy Floor 503 – Jumping for Joy: Part 2 Floor 504 – Checking off the Boxes… Floor 505 – 30 Days Until Christmas Floor 506 – Thanksgiving Eve Floor 507 – Happy Thanksgiving! Floor 508 – Shop Till You Drop Floor 509 – O Christmas Tree Floor 510 – The Countdown Begins Floor 511 – Click Till You Drop Floor 512 – Trying Hard-er Floor 513 – A Quick Start Floor 514 – And the Beat Goes On… Floor 515 – Christmas Shopping – Part I Floor 516 – Gold Tires, GET! Floor 517 – Closing Time Floor 518 – Starting Late Floor 519 – Beyond Tired Floor 520 – Preshopping Checklist Floor 521 – A Sweet Evening Floor 522 – Must Have Yummy Japan… Floor 523 – DEC the Halls… Floor 524 – 50 Years of Rudolph Floor 525 – One More Gift Floor 526 – The Battle Begins Tonight… Floor 527 – Hobbit Hangover…AGAIN? Floor 528 – In It for the Long Haul Floor 529 – Trip Down Memory Lane: Christmas Edition! Floor 530 – Trip Down Memory Lane – Part II! Floor 531 – I’m All About That List… Floor 532 – The True Meaning of Christmas Floor 533 – All Aboard! Floor 534 – Twas the Day Before Christmas… Floor 535 – Merry Christmas! Floor 536 – Christmas Aftermath Floor 537 – Back to Work… Floor 538 – End of Year Checklist Floor 539 – The List Continues… Floor 540 – Closing Up the Year Floor 541 – Happy New Year! Floor 542 – Starting off tired Floor 543 – Let the Sweet Friday Respite Begin… Floor 544 – First Snow of the Year… Floor 545 – Closing Out Cold Floor 546 – Single Digit Deep Freeze… Floor 547 – A Toast to the New Year Floor 548 – An Unwanted Delivery Floor 549 – A Break at Last… Floor 550 – More Snow and a Long Closing Floor 551 – Hitting the DEC in Lansing Floor 552 – Another Closer… Floor 553 – LBP3 Ace Trophy GET! Floor 554 – Half Done Floor 555 – Sushi Night Floor 556 – Fish out of Water Floor 557 – Birthday and More Sushi… Floor 558 – Do You Want to Build A Snowman? Floor 559 – Melty Closing Shift Floor 560 – Starting Late Floor 561 – Breakfast for Dinner Floor 562 – Chilly Wednesday Floor 563 – More Snow… Floor 564 – Early Friday Floor 565 – Early Morning Toastmasters TLI Floor 566 – The Dating Game Floor 567 – Open Up and Say Ah – Winter Edition Floor 568 – Closing Once Again… Floor 569 – Making Dough for More Dough Floor 570 – Quick Update is Quick Floor 571 – Mandatory Propaganda Floor 572 – Hitting the DEC in Grand Rapids Floor 573 – Super Bowl Extra Large – Part IX Floor 574 – A City… Floor 575 – An Invention… Floor 576 – An Airplane… Floor 577 – A Fish… Floor 578 – A Borrower… Floor 579 – A Castle… Floor 580 – A Bathhouse… Floor 581 – One More Snowy Hurdle… Floor 582 – A Free Day… Floor 583 – A Close in the Middle of the Week Floor 584 – More Dough and a Friend Visit… Floor 585 – Movie Night Floor 586 – Happy Hallmark Day… Floor 587 – Singled Out… Floor 588 – A Brief Update… Floor 589 – Mardi Gras and Meeting Tonight… Floor 590 – Bacon-Wrapped Goodness… Floor 591 – BRRR!!!! Floor 592 – Peanut Buttery Chocolately Goodness… Floor 593 – Cereal State of Emergency Floor 594 – Go Hang a Salami! I’m a Lasagna Hog! Floor 595 – The End is Full of Light… Floor 596 – Rejuvenation Day Floor 597 – Pizza State of Emergency Floor 598 – Working on the Network Floor 599 – So Glad it’s Friday… Floor 600 – Tower of Muses: The Sixth Ascent
The high today is going to be 24 degrees and the silver lining is having this 600th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 500, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…..How thoughtful. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. Oh well…
Now I’ll….What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…
You must log in to post a comment.