Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A mandatory and objective milestone that will unfortunately and undoubtedly beyond certainty include an almost identical post from Day 400. I don’t know about you, but with it being the day of a Toastmasters meeting and it being only one week before Thanksgiving, the LAST thing I want to do is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental and redundant display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. (Another exciting redundancy as usual, but it’s just me this time! What? Do you not believe that they are really gone? Go back and read the end of the 400th entry. It’s right there, just before the bit where he talks about the Muse laying on the bed with a note attached to her. Oh dear! That’s going to be a foreshadowing redundancy near the end of this milestone post! But I digress. Anyway, you did read that bit in the 400th entry, didn’t you? Good. And even if you didn’t read it, let’s pretend that you did. It clearly states that there will not be a trace of any of those two narrators! Just look around. Keep reading on. You will find that they are not there. Just me: the Best Narrator to Narrate Narrations. That’s a coveted prize that I will talk about later. For now, we will continue with this cheaply contrived recycled piece of milestone rubbish, rife with wit, dry humor, satire and sarcasm.) I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. (Blah blah blah. Redundant again! How many more times are you going to recycle this?) I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. (Not quite. I got rid of the two annoying narrators that overredundancied this post.) How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How I aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective….wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? (Genius! Considering that you already typed the first two paragraphs, I would just delete them. I deleted two narrators that I didn’t like. Why not get rid of the paragraphs? Just be sure to save my interjections. They’re pure gold, I tell you! Nevermind…You kept them…) With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah….Long profound….wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 400? We know what happens next already. The overdone exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 400. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narrations that get more and more repetitive and redundant with the passing of each 100th post (More repetitive and redundant? That was getting to be a problem in entry 400 so I devised a solution. Use only one narrator! Doesn’t that make a lot more sense?! You see, my intellect was part of what earned me the “Best Narrator to Narrate Narrations” Award. A coveted award that only two other narrators have ever obtained. Two narrators that I did not banish forever. What are you looking at me for? They deserved it! With the cluttering of this post with their useless remarks. Besides, when you are considering the best, there can only be one. And that’s me!), I notice that this tower is….different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller (About 100 stories taller, to be exact! My are we smart!), but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see….
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different, with the attempt of sounding original and new, since these milestone posts would be boring without that. (I’m all for originality! I cleaned up the “narration of narration” nonsense, since that was left by those other pesky narrators. Let’s be brave! Let’s make something slightly different so that no one will ever notice!)
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door. Sure enough, the same field was there (Same field? We should really change the scenery a little bit. Maybe in a later one, perhaps?). I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. (The greenery was so green that Kyle started getting a headache from the overwhelming greenness. So green that all the environmental groups gave this very post their highest award for the amazing greenery and clean air that they could smell when they closed their eyes, trying to imagine a world very much like the greenery in this post.) Green clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red roses. Orange lilies. Purple daisies. Pink tulips. A sea
The colorful flowering sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it. (Oh please! The designer can only think of the ladies, can’t she? Well, I never!)
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different.
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure.
My Muse shook her head again and smiled. “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 401st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still….”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee….”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time….”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 401st floor.
Approaching a service desk decorated with whites and golds, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing…
“Welcome, Kyle.” she announced. “You are on the “An Unplanned Day and a Muse of Virtue” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago….A Christian Muse and devoted servant of the Lord.”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 500 now.”
At this, my Muse frowned. “Why? There are so many good floors!”
I advanced further to the elevators. I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The overly redundant redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see….I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 407 – The Refreshing Taste of Oxygen
Refreshing on both counts. I describe what it’s like to have a day off and briefly preview my first ever outdoor Toastmasters meeting.
Floor 422 – Greatness Awaits…
With a newly bought console in the horizon, what could be greater? I discuss the greatness that is the PlayStation 4 and my reasons for securing this early Christmas gift. A must read, for video game geeks and non-video game geeks alike.
Floor 430 – A Day That I Still Never Forget
Who can forget the day that the planes crashed into the World Trade Center? I can’t, and I never will. This touching account tells all. The emotion. The somberness. The tragedy that struck the nation and changed it forever. Read this, but keep some tissues nearby.
Floor 433 – 99 Luftballons
In this amusing account, I talk about my eyewitness account of seeing numerous hot air balloons on my way to work one day. That’s about it, but it’s still worth a read.
Floor 435 – Fall Preview
A much overdue update about my life, and my plans for the fall season. What are they? Read and find out.
Floor 450 – Advancing to Boardwalk Once Again
Monopoly at McDonald’s is back again, and I waste no time talking about my endless pursuit to collect Boardwalk. The saga begins again at the Golden Arches. Don’t roll the dice on this one. Just read.
Floor 451 – Work and Toastmasters Promotion
This entry may be short, but I talk about my recent promotion to President of a Toastmasters club. A quick read that’s worth glossing over indeed.
Floor 462– Cedar Point HalloWeekends Recap
What can possibly top this? This one is about my unforgettable trip to Cedar Point with my brother. The trip was like a roller coaster. Lots of twists and turns. It wasn’t perfect, but it was fun. What are you waiting for? Read it!
Floor 471 – Leftover Monopoly Game Pieces
With the Monopoly at McDonald’s contest now over, I scored big on game pieces on the last day of the contest. How did it happen? Read this and find out, how I scored big…on food prizes.
Floor 480 – Trick or Treat?!!
Halloween for me is a festive time of year. A fun time to dress up and eat candy. In this one, I talk about my Halloween traditions and my favorite candy. This one’s a treat, and I’m not tricking you. Read it!
Floor 482 – Farewell to Foliage – Salvo Edition
For leaf disposal, what can possibly be better than the Mighty Tarp? Believe it or not, there actually is something that’s better. A leaf blower. A really powerful one. Don’t believe me? Read this, and get blown away.
Floor 488 – Regarding Marriage
Controversial subjects were one of the things that I wanted to discuss during this 100 day cycle. Unfortunately, I was only able to get to one. This one’s about “mawwiage”, and I discuss in the manner that C.S. Lewis would. I cover all sides, even the sensitive ones. Just to warn you, this is a controversial subject, so you may not agree with my views. Read this. It’s a good one.
Floor 497 – Toastmasters District 62 Fall Conference Aftermath
In this one, I “explore my sweet possibilities” at what I consider to be the most memorable Toastmasters conferences that I have ever been to. An awesome speaker. An awesome speech contest. What can be better? Just read this, and you’ll see what I mean. This is what you missed!
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I included a little less than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 500th floor….
My Muse, having heard the whole conversation, grinned.
“It’s nice how much you know about all those floors,” she told me. “Especially when you haven’t visited them….”
“Oh, I don’t need to….” I told her. “I lived them!”
To that, she responded with a timid nod, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 500 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough changes to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this fifth milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them….(All things considered, this was the only good narration that I saw. Since this was inspired from me, I have decided to keep it. Aren’t I generous?)
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 500th floor.
Like the 400th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other. Pretty much the same room as the 400th story, the 300th story, the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was the same size as the 400th story and 300th story and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right…. (Again, we decided to keep this, as we agree with the sentiment of this narration.)
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 500. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 400th floor, the 300th floor, the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 401-500
Floor 401 – An Unplanned Day and a Muse of Virtue Floor 402 – Breakfast and Bed Floor 403 – Green Haircut and a Closing Shift Floor 404 – Gloomy Saturday Floor 405 – Sunny Sunday Floor 406 – Light at the End of the Tunnel Floor 407 – The Refreshing Taste of Oxygen Floor 408 – Lovin’ the Oven Floor 409 – Unrehearsed Floor 410 – One Pay Day to Rule them All Floor 411 – Three hours left… Floor 412 – Day Job Floor 413 – Green Haircut, More Writing and One More Shift Floor 414 – A Day Off, Sort of… Floor 415 – Later Shift, less time Floor 416 – Birthday Dinner Floor 417 – Closing the Week Floor 418 – Friend visit, Thai Curry and Doctor Who Floor 419 – Labor Day Eve Floor 420 – Labor Day Floor 421 – A Day Off and Toastmasters Floor 422 – Greatness Awaits… Floor 423 – Meeting Cancellation Floor 424 – Pay Day and Pressing On Floor 425 – Green Haircut and a Short Day Floor 426 – Four More Hours, Short on Time Floor 427 – On the Run… Floor 428 – Phew! Floor 429 – Colder Conditions Ahead Floor 430 – A Day That I Still Never Forget Floor 431 – Morning Shift into High Gear Floor 432 – More Speed Floor 433 – 99 Luftballons Floor 434 – Work Anniversary Floor 435 – Fall Preview Floor 436 – Off the hook Floor 437 – That’s Not Fare Floor 438 – Ten Hours Floor 439 – Chewed Up and Spit Out Floor 440 – Rainday Floor 441 – Summer Outro Floor 442 – Another Week of Summer? Floor 443 – Survivor of the Fittest Floor 444 – Just Dessert Floor 445 – Cedar Point Trip? Floor 446 – Three Hours? Floor 447 – Grinding Through Eternity – Part 2 Floor 448 – Four More Cups! Floor 449 – Preflight Checklist Floor 450 – Advancing to Boardwalk Once Again Floor 451 – Work and Toastmasters Promotion Floor 452 – 9 to 5, McDonald’s and More Mario Kart 8 Floor 453 – Done With Mirror Mode Special Cup… Floor 454 – Must…Practice…Halloween Speech… Floor 455 – Halloween Speech Research – Part I Floor 456 – Halloween Speech Research – Part 2: Speech Preparation Floor 457 – Double Digit Shift Floor 458 – Area Speech Contest Floor 459 – Predrive Checklist Floor 460 – HalloWeekends at Cedar Point! Floor 461 – What? No Recap? Floor 462 – Cedar Point HalloWeekends Recap Floor 463 – Burned Out Floor 464 – Cedar Point Speech Preparation and a Closing Shift Floor 465 – Must…Practice…Cedar Point Speech… Floor 466 – A Cold? Floor 467 – False Alarm… Floor 468 – The Cold – Part II Floor 469 – The Cold – Part III: Light at the End of the Tunnel Floor 470 – Toastmasters Open House Floor 471 – Leftover Monopoly Game Pieces Floor 472 – Leftover Cold Floor 473 – Leftover Tuna Helper Floor 474 – Toastmasters Morning Speech Contest Floor 475 – 10 Boxes of Cereal Floor 476 – McDonald’s Monopoly Contest Finale Floor 477 – Tired Tuesday Floor 478 – Wonderful Wednesday Floor 479 – Toastmasters Thursday Floor 480 – Trick or Treat?!! Floor 481 – Halloween Aftermath Floor 482 – Farewell to Foliage – Salvo Edition Floor 483 – Taco Night and another Friend Visit Floor 484 – Decide Michigan’s Future – Vote Today! Floor 485 – Speech Number Nine Floor 486 – Mission Accomplished! Floor 487 – Cooler Conditions Ahead Floor 488 – Regarding Marriage Floor 489 – In Closing Floor 490 – Opening Statements Floor 491 – White Dress Shirt Floor 492 – Quick Update Floor 493 – Milestone Post Preparations… Floor 494 – Explore Your Sweet Possibilities! Floor 495 – Greetings From Midland! Floor 496 – Out of the Frying Pan… Floor 497 – Toastmasters District 62 Fall Conference Aftermath Floor 498 – 23 Degrees Floor 499 – Making Things Write Floor 500 – Tower of Muses: The Fifth Ascent
The high today is going to be 22 degrees and the silver lining is having this 500th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 400, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…..How thoughtful. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post. But he at least got rid of the other two narrators, so that was nice of him…
Now I’ll….What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening once again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing…