Once again, we have arrived at another milestone. A milestone that will unfortunately include an almost identical post from Day 200. I don’t know about you, but after coming back from a Toastmasters Conference, the LAST thing I want to to is spend the next 3-5 hours constructing a profoundly monumental display of my writing prowess.
I am sure that you are all aware of how things will transpire. I will leave an introspective entry and then shift my point of view to first person. I would then provide a predictable reaction from my Muse’s intended absence.
In a sheer attempt at humor, I redundantly acknowledge the composition of this entry…..again. How I talk about this being another milestone, and that this is just a cheap reconstruction of an entry made 100 days ago. How original! You would have to be exhausted to pull off something like that! How you are aware of how things will transpire. How I would leave an introspective….wait! This is getting too redundant, and is on the brink of being extremely absurd and ridiculous. Is it too late to start over? It clearly is, considering that you are all able to still see these first two paragraphs. With that, we will press on.
Blah blah blah….Long profound….wait! This is redundant! Wasn’t this mentioned in day 200? We know what happens next already. The exposition about the Muse and why she is not here, approaching the tower (Yes. This tower is different from the one that you saw in Day 200. It always is! It’s different every 100 posts!) Let’s avoid the redundancy about being redundant, shall we?
But, breaking away from the overly astute sarcastic narration, I notice that this tower is….different. Yes. The tower is a little bit taller, but just to be sure. We will have a look inside and see….
Time to recycle some text from my previous entry, with some subtle edits to make it resemble something slightly different. With an additional note stating that there will be even more subtle edits in this one! Let’s take satire to a whole new level, criticizing the narration of the narration. Oh, we better be careful with this one….
After standing there for a while, I finally entered through the door (again). Sure enough, the same field was there (once again, of course. Wasn’t that edit clever?). I was surrounded by the same lush greenery as before. But it was even greener. Greener than what this narration can describe. Green(er) clovers and wildflowers. Pink and red roses. Orange lilies. Purple daisies. Pink tulips. A
sea ocean of color. Nothing was different from what I experienced 100 days ago….Except for this slightly different narration, which you will probably yell at for interrupting the flow of the narrative once again. Really. Why does he do that? He’s either trying to be witty, funny, or just stupid. Also, the narrator making harsh criticisms at the narration of this post is getting kind of old, don’t you think? Is he doing this to drive you mad, or does he just find this cheap form of satire amusing? Okay. You can stop now. Stop before you lose the audience. I said, stop! Quick!
The colorful flowering sea led to a rather tall structure that sat far in the distance. A tall structure that looked even taller than before. Again, this was getting too predictable, having already experienced this before. And quite redundant. Every 100 entries, the tower’s a little bigger. We get it.
The tower looked like an ornately decorated office building – for women. Wait! That’s sexist! Shouldn’t the colors and designs be more neutral? You are going to upset all the gentlemen that will be reading this entry, granted they even get this far from all the redundancies and meta-narrations over lazily inserted edits. But then that wouldn’t be fair for the ladies now, would it? Oh dear. I’m sure that we’re going to be at a stalemate on this one. Why don’t we make it a color and design that neither gender cares about. Now that would be the fair thing to do, right? But upon doing that, the designer of the tower disagreed, being the queen of fashion. The pink and white accents ran up and down the gold-adorned structure. The diamond-studded glass had a pink tint to it.
“A pink office building,” I said to myself. “Can’t my Muse be any more original?”
Let’s cut to the chase, and find out if this tower really is different. Really. Please! These meta-narrations and redundancies are getting tiring to read!
I got attention of the same receptionist who sat there, typing 100 days back.
“So, is this the same Tower of Muses as before?” I asked her, just to make sure.
My Muse shook her head again and smiled (again, since this has already happened before). “No, silly! This tower is a little different. And there’s a teleporter thingy that will take you to the 201st floor!”
I nodded, with a slight grin on my face. And this was mainly due to the deja vu. “And this floor is still….”
“Floor 1,” she recited. “ExperiMENTAL. Tee hee….”
And of course the Dark Muse, which was then a bad idea, was just beginning to affect my Muse at this time….”Thank you,” I told her, proceeding forward to the mysterious portal that sat past the white service desk just before the elevators.
Wait a second! More recently, didn’t the Dark Muse come here to eat the first 100 Muses? That would mean that the receptionist must have just returned. Now up to date, let’s get back to the story.
Upon entering the portal, she was right. I entered a new room, which resembled a different lobby. But this lobby had no exit, since this was the 201st floor.
Approaching a purple and gold colored service desk, I saw a different Muse sitting there. But she wasn’t typing. In fact, she looked up right after I got to this floor. It was only a split second that I saw her typing….
“Welcome, peasant.” she announced. “You are on the “New Snow, New Muse” floor. This floor is one of my favorites, since it captures who I am, 99 days ago….A wealthy and beautiful woman. Now be gone! Your type is not allowed here!”
I nodded, and looked at the elevators that were past her desk. “I would like to go to floor 300 now.”
At this, the Spoiled Rich Muse scowled. “Get lost! I don’t even want you in this tower!”
I then sighed, and quite deliberately broke the fourth wall. The redundancies have reached their limit for this post! Would you really want me to actually pick 6 to 8 random floors and stop on them? Sorry. It’s not going to happen this time, either. If you really wish to hear my discussion on the floors, you can visit any one of them by clicking on the links near the bottom of this post. Okay. If we don’t visit them, perhaps we should do this instead. I will briefly recap some of my favorite floors, after I have taken a few minutes to determine what they are.
There. After several minutes of reviewing all 99 entries, thinking and making a much needed edit over the older text, I have my list. It’s right here! I have it on my lap. Let’s see….I will put this in list form so that it will be easier for you to read. My favorite floors are:
Floor 208 – I am Error: Part II
A frustrating account explaining another computer problem, and why I was going to be without it for a while. A memorable post and a must read.
Floors 209-215 – A City, An Invention, A Fish, A Borrower, A Castle and A Bathhouse….
Why all these posts? They all follow a theme, and each detail my week of watching anime movies. Mostly Miyazaki if you’re curious.
Floor 221 – Happy Hallmark Day….
A date with a Muse? Why not? I enjoyed writing this one. Read it and you’ll see why.
Floor 251 – No Turning Back, No Holding Back
After a special service at my Church, how could I not mention this? This mentioned an important prayer that me and the entire congregation said as one. Read this and see. Yes. It’s THAT important to me and it still is!
Floor 261 – Short and Sweet 77 – Invasion: Part II
A fun post regarding the Dark Muse carrying out her “invasion”. Who can resist her?
Floor 262 – Oil Change
Believe it or not, it’s not the oil change that I like this entry for. But the continuation of the chaos from the day before. And when you combine the Spoiled Rich Muse with the Dark Muse, it can only mean chaos. Spoiled little brat. Well, okay. She’s not little.
Floor 266 – Taxed to the Limit
I love this one. What can be better than faking this? What do I mean? Ah! I got your attention! Click below and find out.
Floor 275 – Little Miss Princess Strikes Again
Little? That’s a misnomer. She’s huge! Gigantic! And that’s not the worst of it. I must do her bidding, or else.
Floor 281 – It’s Spring, DANG IT!!!!
Hating snow in April was not enough. I had to show a picture of it. This entry is complete with a brat that makes it snow even more. Great.
Floor 282 – Job Impossible
An original concept. Make searching for a job like a secret mission.
Floor 283 – Let Me In!
Why did I include this? It had to be the fake rejection letter. It’s too hilarious not to read.
Floor 291 – Long Shift, No Reward
Another rant, but this one’s a good one. And don’t worry. It ends well. I promise.
Floor 296 – Creating a Sensation
How do you create a sensation? You create a post explaining why you make all these posts every day. Oh, and everything about why I have a Muse is explained too. Definitely worth checking out.
Floor 297 – Try Hard-er
What happens when you try hard-er? The result is something that’s beyond amazing. It’s reality. It’s poetry laced with cynicism. It’s revealing the naked truth about who I really am and what I yearn for. Quite possibly the best Me & My Muse that I have written yet, and you would be a fool not to check it out.
Wow! It looks like I had lot more favorites than what I thought. I even included one more than last time! Maybe I should’ve narrowed the list. But it’s too late now. Onward to the 300th floor….
The Spoiled Rich Muse, having heard the whole conversation, was furious.
“What are you still doing here?!” she shouted. “I said LEAVE, you pitiful peasant!”
“Don’t worry!” I told her. “You won’t see me again!”
To that, she scowled, and I proceeded to the elevators. I then pressed the up button a few times, like I did last time. Where are the elevators? With this many, I would think that at least one would be ready for me! A few seconds later, I entered the first elevator door that opened. It just happened to be the one next to me.
I entered the elevator and pressed the 300 button. Moments later, the doors closed.
Several moments passed. At this point, Kyle decided to be a little more unoriginal and once again reused some material from the previous milestone entry. Perhaps he’ll make it a little different so that they’ll never notice. Just enough to throw off the audience. How lazy of him! Can’t he get his brain thinking of any more original ideas? But Kyle would have none of that. He is just as determined to bring this third milestone post to an abrupt end. The good old recycled zinger. They’ll never notice! Unless the narrator reminds them….Italics! Of course! Why didn’t the other narrator think of this?
Finally, moments later, the elevator arrived at the 300th floor.
Like the 200th floor before it, this floor was an enormous room, lavishly decorated, with everything that you saw before, only more exaggerated. Blah blah blah….Now for more redundancies! It was even more enormous and even more lavish. In fact, so enormous and lavish that it could not get anymore enormous or lavish again. Just wait until the 400th day. You’ll see…. A desk sat in one corner and a king-sized bed sat in the other. Pretty much the same room as the 200th story and the 100th story before it, only the room was a little bigger and the bed was light blue.
Oh! We agreed not to meddle with the following paragraph! As much as we want to, we can’t. It just wouldn’t be right….
And on the bed laid my Muse. She was fast asleep, with a note attached to her. It didn’t surprise me that she was sleeping, considering that creating this tower probably took so much out of her. Now I’m going to guess that the note will mention that the computer in this room will have this entry already typed. That even includes the later parts that you haven’t seen yet! Am I right? And this further adds to the redundancies that exist in this post already!
Attached to her hand was a note. And this is what it said:
To my master,
I made this tower for you and me. This is to honor your hard work and dedication for another 100 days of hardship, bringing the total up to 300. Thank you for your dedication to keeping this project going daily. If you look at your computer, the last entry is already written. I am still forever grateful to your kindness, your dedication to saving me and your gratitude.
I then looked next to the bed and noticed a directory which was much like the 200th floor and 100th floor before it. However, this was the directory for the Tower of Muses, only it covered only the next 100 floors. I looked at the directory.
The Tower of Muses – Directory – Floors 201-300
Floor 201 – New Snow, New Muse Floor 202 – Ghost of a Chance Floor 203 – Short and Sweet 43 – Lunch Break Floor 204 – Short and Sweet 44 – Two more jobs? Floor 205 – Short and Sweet 45 – So Tired Floor 206 – Another Storm, Another Meeting Floor 207 – Short and Sweet 46 – The Hell is Finally Over…. Floor 208 – I am Error: Part II Floor 209 – Super Extra Large – Part VIII Floor 210 – A City…. Floor 211 – An Invention…. Floor 212 – A Fish…. Floor 213 – A Borrower…. Floor 214 – A Castle…. Floor 215 – A Bathhouse…. Floor 216 – Short and Sweet 47 – Cashing Out…. Floor 217 – Short and Sweet 48 – Going Through the Rolodex…. Floor 218 – Short and Sweet 49 – Going Through the Rolodex: Part II Floor 219 – Short and Sweet 50 – Going Through the Rolodex: Part III Floor 220 – Short and Sweet 51 – Going Through the Rolodex: Part IV Floor 221 – Happy Hallmark Day…. Floor 222 – Singled Out…. Floor 223 – I am Error: Part III – No More Error Floor 224 – A Busy Week…. Floor 225 – Snow More! Floor 226 – Short and Sweet 52 – No Time…. Floor 227 – Short and Sweet 53 – Icing on the Cake Floor 228 – Professional Improvement Day Floor 229 – Short and Sweet 54 – One last work hurdle…. Floor 230 – Short and Sweet 55 – Awesome Lunch, Out of Energy Floor 231 – Short and Sweet 56 – An Interview…. Floor 232 – The Wait Begins Floor 233 – Short and Sweet 57 – False Alarm Floor 234 – Short and Sweet 58 – Last Night Magic game and a Conference Call…. Floor 235 – Short and Sweet 59 – Frozen Friday Floor 236 – Short and Sweet 60 – So tired of Winter…. Floor 237 – Short and Sweet 61 – Another Day Off…. Floor 238 – Short and Sweet 62 – To-do List…. Floor 239 – Short and Sweet 63 – Mardi Gras and Meeting Tonight…. Floor 240 – Taking the Initiative Floor 241 – Short and Sweet 64 – Assessment Time! Floor 242 – Short and Sweet 65 – Assessment Time: Part II! Floor 243 – Short and Sweet 66 – The Grind Continues Floor 244 – Springing Ahead Floor 245 – It’s-a me, MAR10! Floor 246 – Short and Sweet 67 – An Interview and a Job Lead Floor 247 – Short and Sweet 68 – Enough with the Snow! Floor 248 – Short and Sweet 69 – Applying for another Job…. Floor 249 – Easy as Pi Floor 250 – Short and Sweet 70 – Early Shift Floor 251 – No Turning Back, No Holding Back Floor 252 – Lucky Day Floor 253 – Short and Sweet 71 – Corned Beef Leftovers Floor 254 – Short and Sweet 72 – Survivor Night Floor 255 – Short and Sweet 73 – Spring Fever Floor 256 – Spring Fever – Part II Floor 257 – Short and Sweet 74 – So Tired…. Floor 258 – Short and Sweet 75 – Sunday is Tuesday Floor 259 – Short and Sweet 76 – Light at the End of the Tunnel Floor 260 – Invasion Floor 261 – Short and Sweet 77 – Invasion: Part II Floor 262 – Oil Change Floor 263 – Another Opportunity? Floor 264 – Short and Sweet 78 – Movie and Work Floor 265 – Short and Sweet 79 – Why am I Still Up? Floor 266 – Taxed to the Limit Floor 267 – April Fools! Floor 268 – Short and Sweet 80 – Spaghetti and Survivor Floor 269 – Short and Sweet 81 – Productive Day Floor 270 – Another Paycheck Floor 271 – Short and Sweet 82 – The Overachiever Strikes Again Floor 272 – Short and Sweet 83 – Happy Friday! Floor 273 – Saturday Fiesta Floor 274 – Sunday Movie Floor 275 – Little Miss Princess Strikes Again Floor 276 – Green Hair Groom Floor 277 – Short and Sweet 84 – The Story Continues Floor 278 – Short and Sweet 85 – Whee!!! Floor 279 – God’s Not Dead Floor 280 – Short and Sweet 86 – Power Outage Floor 281 – It’s Spring, DANG IT!!!! Floor 282 – Job Impossible Floor 283 – Let Me In! Floor 284 – Good Friday Floor 285 – Short and Sweet 87 – Early Easter Dinner Floor 286 – Happy Easter! Floor 287 – Lunch Shift Floor 288 – Overexposed Floor 289 – Writing Report Card Floor 290 – What is your grade? Floor 291 – Long Shift, No Reward Floor 292 – I Hate My Job Floor 293 – Short and Sweet 88 – Less is More Floor 294 – One More Gauntlet Floor 295 – Housework, Writing and a Movie Floor 296 – Creating a Sensation Floor 297 – Try Hard-er Floor 298 – Early Shift and Preparation Time Floor 299 – Greetings From Flint! Floor 300 – Tower of Muses: The Third Ascent
The high today is going to be 56 degrees and the silver lining is having this 300th post made.
To all of you who have ever completed a major milestone, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Just like entry 200, she’s right! The entire entry is typed! And there’s that message at the end! Aw…..How thoughtful. I don’t understand how a narrator got into my post….And it looks like another one got in too! Oh well….
Now I’ll….What’s going on? Just like before! It’s happening again! On the bed! My Muse is flashing….