It’s time that I use this blog for one of my primary purposes that I have already stated – journaling.
Where has my obedience taken me lately? This is what I have noticed. In the recent days and weeks, I have noticed that I have not been making much progress. I have been working my scheduled shifts weekly. I have been looking for work. I have been writing these daily blogs. I have attended church just about every week (today is the exception). I have given my tiny amount in offerings and have set aside a day of fasting for the past couple months. What results have I seen in doing this? I actually haven’t seen much, to be honest.
Being aware of this, I begin asking God if there is anything that I have done that is against him. For me and everyone else, this includes all of the things that we do that we think that we can get away with. Whether in public or in secret, God is watching, all the time. And for secrets, don’t tell me that you don’t have secrets. Everyone has them, especially those who are married. What we do most of the time is hide them. Sweep them under the rug so that they don’t get noticed. Why? Because they would be shameful to those who find out! Pornography, alcoholism, drug addiction, any other addiction…would you really want other people to know what you are doing in your private life?
But God knows what everyone does in secret, good or bad. And for the bad things, it is a harmful thing to hide them from those that we love. And that is the true test of love. Would they still love you if they knew?
As for the public format of this blog, there are things that I do not feel comfortable sharing here. Just think about it. Would you really want to share with me everything that goes on in your private life? That is my point exactly. These are things that should not be shared with anyone else, except for those who are the closest to you.
Sometimes, these things that we carry in our lives, these weaknesses and burdens that we can’t remove are the very things that God uses to remind us of His strength.
Getting back to what I asked God about. Have I done anything against him? Anything apart from the weaknesses that I already have? I believe the weaknesses have different parts to play in the building of my strength. When I encounter the obstacles, the very things that make me weak, God is there, reminding me how strong I am because of Him. This rules out the weaknesses in my life. This is especially so since those whom I love are aware of what my weaknesses are, and do whatever they can to support me, in spite of them.
If the weaknesses aren’t responsible for the lack of action in my vocational life, what is left? Is there anything left at all? There is. I believe that the missing ingredient here is patience. Perhaps patience is the very thing that God is trying to teach me during the dry season of working week in and week out. He is determined to instill this into me. And he will. No matter how many times it takes, he is determined to finish what he has began inside of me.
And as I work my shift today, I will try to keep this in mind. As I have decided before, the reign of happiness is going to continue. Depression, frustration and anger will be put to rest. Happiness can be found anywhere. Even during the darkest days and the saddest times. Even when the skies are dark and it is raining. For those who can’t find happiness, they are either not looking or they’re not looking hard enough. Happiness can be found anywhere – not just in people.
With this in perspective, all the other pieces start to fall into place. The realization of things that have always been there but haven’t been noticed. These would be the blessings in my life. These are so easy to overlook when the worries of this world overtake us. So don’t let them. God has me right where he wants me, and he is determined to bring me to the destination where he wants me to go, one day at a time.
Wow. How long have I been walking? That discussion surely killed some time, but I feel that I am still far away from where the Dark Muse is kept.
Oh. Those who are reading this can ‘t see the scenery that I can. It is a surreal landscape. There are a bunch of bright colors and stuffed rabbits everywhere. Think of it as the road to Oz, only with more pinks, purples and stuffed animals. A world that is fully safe and secure. A world that would do her no harm. A world with no friends due to her high level of shyness…
Muse Clone: *gasps*
*Muse Clone runs and hides in a nearby velvet bush*
One other thing. This world is full of fabric. Everything is soft and smooth. A world perfect for a shy little Muse. Speaking of which, every one of her clones has fled from me. So getting her should be easy…
*stares up at the sky to see a black hole*
Whoa! That must be that confidence void. The very reason why she can never gain any confidence…It’s a good thing that I have that barrier…
Well, there’s nothing else to see here. Just endless miles of the same scenery. And yes. This is right inside her. No organs. No bones. Just a world inside her body…
Today’s high is going to be 82 degrees and the silver lining is having a nice day to enjoy.
To those of you who are enjoying the sun, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Muse: Fuzzy rabbit is our bestest friend! We need no other friends because they too scary. You’re right! Tee hee! We totally agree with you. You are our bestest friend, too! Tee hee…