Me & My Muse – Day 900B: The Adventures of The Mighty Mistress – Issue #0

I woke up from my fitful sleep, hoping that my Muse would change into something new very soon. Her enormously pudgy body rolled around. She was tossing and turning. Nothing happened. Could the transformation be late this time? Could it be that the transformation takes a day off, since it’s Christmas?

But I was wrong. Just then, the room was bathed in a bluish green light. It was blinding…and…

And at that point, I, the narrator had to take over. The bluish green light knocked Kyle unconscious. Meanwhile, the Muse’s body was soaking in it. It absorbed every photon, causing her body to emit a blinding blue-green radiance.

And in the next panel…The Muse’s figure dramatically changed. All of her fat vanished, leaving behind a petite and slender figure. The blue-green radiance faded away and she woke up.

“What just happened?” the Muse gasped. And that’s when she saw her darling boyfriend, Kyle laying on the bed, unconscious.

Muse: Boyfriend? Excuse me? Tone it down, Mr. Narrator!

Um, fine! And that’s when she saw her dear friend, Kyle laying on the bed, unconscious.

Muse: That’s better!

Moving on, the Muse began shaking Kyle, hoping that he would wake up. Overcome with shock that he didn’t, she lifted up the entire bed that she was laying on as if it were a feather, knocking Kyle off.

The Muse gasped again. “Where did I get this strength?” She glanced at her hand, which emitted a faded greenish blue glow. “Could it be?”

The Muse smiled, glancing at her new figure. She was very fit and very agile. But when she glanced at her grossly oversized clothes, she frowned.

“I can’t be wearing this circus tent!” she sighed. And with that, she waved her hands and she flashed, undergoing a quick costume change in the process.

A big “M” adorned the middle of her chest, in a pink and purple color scheme. She wore pink tops with light purple tights.

“With my new identity, I will be known as Mighty Muse!” she shouted.

Mighty Muse? Is that the best that she can come up with? Might I suggest “The Mighty Mistress?”

Muse: Thanks Mr. Narrator!

“With my new identity, I will be known as The Mighty Mistress!” she shouted.

Her countenance sank when she saw Kyle sprawled out, still unconscious on the floor.

Picking Kyle up like a feather, she glanced at him, smiling. “I’ll save you.” she told him.

And with that, she emitted a powerful wave, which flowed through Kyle’s body. Kyle finally came to.

Kyle then glanced off screen. “What is going on?” he said with a yawn. “What just happened?” He panned around, as if he was disturbed by something. “What is that voice?” he shouted. “And why is it copying word for word what I am saying?”

The Mighty Mistress glanced up and smiled.   “Oh. That is Mr. Narrator. You see, we’re supposed to be spoofing a comic book…”

“Well, I don’t want that narrator to be narrating anymore!” Kyle said in a rage. “Really! Can you stop?”

Why certainly! I was only trying to move the story along while you were unconscious. As you were…

With the annoying narrator silenced, I noticed that my Muse was holding me in the palm of her hand. “Are doing the whole superhero look this time?” I asked her.

She nodded, and kissed me tenderly on the cheek. “You can call me The Mighty Mistress. With it being Christmas, I have the day off from saving the world.”

“But you rescued me,” I told her. “You look beautiful. There’s not an ounce of fat on you and your hair is amazing.” I gave her a kiss and smiled heartily.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling. “I’m so happy that I’m not a tub of lard anymore. Wanna go for a ride?”

Full of ecstasy, I nodded. “Would I ever!”

“Hang on!” she shouted.

Gripping her tightly, she flew upward with such force that she blew an enormous hole in the ceiling. Now high in the sky, she flew around, making circles around the Tower of Muses. She continued flying, taking me off into the distance.

“I’m going to take you to my secret lair.” she told me. “I just built it.”

“While you were flying?” I gasped.

“I’m intangible!” she told me. “Remember? Now brace yourself. We’re approaching the lair…”

Flying beneath a snow bank, we entered the lair. There was a laboratory, with a wonderfully decorated bedroom adjacent to it. It was decorated for Christmas.

She sat me down on the carpet, and playfully smiled. “Look up,” she told me. “You’re underneath the mistletoe.”

I smiled and laughed. “You sat me there on purpose!”

She beamed, smiling with a romantic nod. “Of course! Now, you know what to do if you’re underneath it, right?”

I nodded, and gave her a kiss. “Um, you know that there are people reading this…”

The Mighty Mistress kissed me back. “Let them watch. Besides, you don’t have a girlfriend yet…”

My eyes began to sag and I smiled. Having a heroine for 100 days is going to be super.

With this day coming to an end, let the next 100 begin! I am ready for the Mighty Mistress to rescue me over and over again, and to learn everything about her superpowers.

And with that, I anxiously waited for the fade out circle to get smaller and smaller, until there was blackness. The room then began to fill with kisses and laughter.

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