Me & My Muse – Day 314: Restless Sunday

Whoever had the nerve to call Sunday a weekend is a liar.

For me, my week has not ended yet.  Yesterday, I worked six and a half hours.  Today, I will be working another four.  Monday, I will be working three.  And then, my weekend begins.  Tuesday will be my Saturday.  I then work a three-hour shaker shift on Wednesday.  Following that will be the second day of my weekend – Thursday.

So while you all relax, I’ll be working.  While you are taking a nap, I’ll be on job search engines.  For me, Sunday is a weekday.  Just a normal routine part of the week.


Ghost Muse.  Sunday is a weekend.

It is not.

Ghost Muse:  To everyone else, it is.

Well, they can enjoy it.  But I’m not allowed to.  Why do I have to work on this day?  And don’t give me all the people who have to work on this day: Pastors, nurses, people working at a nursing home, the sorry saps that work in restaurants and retail…

Ghost Muse:  Noble or small…each job counts!

My job counts for the high-schooler and college student.  I’m getting too old for this.

Ghost Muse:  But you are there for a reason.

Yes.  I know.  To make a worthless penny and smile while I’m doing it.  Do you think that I’m wallowing in misery?  I’m trying to rise above it!  I’m taking my stand against the negativity that is trying to attack me!  I know that my day has yet to come, and it will come. It will come when its ready.

Ghost Muse:  That’s right.  And you need to be patient until it does…

But when will it?  I keep asking “When God?  When?”  It’s like his timetable will never come within my flawed sight.

Ghost Muse:  Have you ever watched a plant grow?  Or what about a tree?  One of those great big trees?  *eyes tear up* Have you?  Huh?

No.  I haven’t.

Ghost Muse:   And do you know why you haven’t?

It’s because it takes time.  In due time, it will grow.

Ghost Muse:  It due time, it will grow.  You need to keep repeating that until you have enough patience to believe it.

If only I had the patience!  There are several things that I really desire.  One of them is a family.  But to have that, I need a wife.  And to have a wife, I need to get married.  And to get married, I need to fall in love with the woman that God has matched me with.  And to even do that, I need to make the money to put a roof over my head.  Can a lousy job like the pizza pit do that?  No.  It needs to be another one.  One that will hopefully come soon, because I’m losing my mind.  Does a plant take forever to grow?  Does a Redwood tree take forever to fully mature?  My fear is that the thing that I ask for will not come.  So I become anxious, impatient and expectant, because it must happen in a swift and quick fashion, or it might not ever come.  If God can uproot the impatience, the anxiety, the foolish and selfish expectancy that I have been harboring inside of me, if he can do this and allow me to see why i had to wait for such a thing to happen and why it took so long to arrive, I will burst into tears.  I will dissolve into dust and ashes.  My face will be red with tears and my knees will be on the ground in absolute surrender.  What is it that I have waited so long for?  I won’t even have to ask that anymore.  No more questions.  No more doubt.  Just a completely sturdy and unshakable belief.

Ghost Muse:  You are in the middle of a test.  You are doing well.  Just don’t fail it!

*sniff*  I don’t want to fail.  I’ve failed too much to fail again.  Who shares my sentiment?  No one.  I am the only one who is carrying this weight.  Each of us has our own story to tell.  Each story is different.  No one story is the same.  That is why no one can share the experiences that I have encountered.  A family…What sense does that make to someone like me?  I came from one, but can I make one myself?  I am single and penniless.  A dreamer with high hopes, anxiously waiting for the fountain of blessings to explode.

Ghost Muse:  My prayer is that it does, and that you will see the blessings that you already have as well…You have your health.  But not everyone does.


Well for now, I’m leaving reality.  Shy or not, I’m seeing what that Muse is up to…

Ghost Muse: Good luck!

*teleports to the Realm of Imagination and enters Muse’s house*

Where are you?  Please don’t hide.

Muse:  *gasps*

*looks around*

I thought I heard something.

*door closes*

There she is.

*opens door*

Where are you?  Please don’t hide.

Muse:  *gasps*

Fine.  If you are going to hide, I’ll bring you out of hiding.  Come out!

*Muse instantaneously appears*

Nice.  Having director’s privileges have their advantages…

Muse:  *gasps*

Don’t be afraid.

*reaches down to Muse, but Muse lunges back*

Don’t move!

Muse:  *gasp*

There.  Motionless as a statue.  Now, let me hold you…

*sits down and holds Muse in lap*

Muse: *lets out a deep gasp*  ahhhhh! *cries*

Not again!  No…you’re not going to have an accident all over me.  That’s it.  No more underpants for you…

*accident disappears and Muse flashes*

There.  All changed.  You shouldn’t have any accidents now.

Muse:  Tee hee…*cries*

Stop crying and say something.

Muse:  *gasp*

I said, say something!

Muse: …I scared!

Well, I’m not.  I won’t hurt you.  You’re the closest thing that I can have to a daughter right now.  You may not be real, but you’re the next best thing…

Muse:  You scary…

*Muse begins to suck her thumb*

I’m not trying to hurt you.  I’m trying to help you.

Muse:  You’re…not hel-ping…

*Muse begins to flash brightly*

Muse: bye-bye…Tee hee…

*Muse becomes invisible and squirms out of my lap*

Well, at least she stuck around for a while.  But only because of the “director’s privileges”…


*teleports back to reality*

Ghost Muse:  How was it?

Fine.  I just needed to satisfy the inner yearnings of my heart…

Ghost Muse:  Were you able to do that?

I think so.  I just need real replacements soon…

Ghost Muse:  You will find them.  Don’t worry…


Thank you.

Today’s high is going to be 66 degrees and the silver lining will be tonight, when this four-hour shift is out of the way.

To those of you who are enjoying your Sunday, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.


Muse:  Those director’s privileges were yummy!  It’s too bad he can’t use them anymore!  *Muse flashes a blinding light*  We love it!  Tee hee…