How many of you have ever played a board game and ended up losing? That was me last night.
Last night, I played Settlers of Catan with my brother and my friend. With me and my brother never playing the game before, we went with the beginner setup. This meant that I couldn’t use the red pieces, since red was player 4, and we only had 3 players. Red was my favorite color, so I wasn’t too happy about this. I decided to be orange instead. My brother was blue. My friend was white.
To make a long story short, I lost. Both my brother and my friend had an unfair advantage over me the whole game. My friend especially dominated, and established a lead that me and my brother could never match. My friend had twelve roads going across the entire hexagonal continent. It was ridiculous. But despite that, my brother was doing better than me, leaving me in last place. I couldn’t produce any bricks at all. Now granted I could trade for them, but it’s much easier to produce your own resources. Besides, my friend got to a point where he could produce every resource. He only needed to trade when the dice rolls didn’t favor him. And when it did, he was rolling in bricks, sheep, stones and wheat. But I digress.
I have a theory as to why I haven’t been doing very well. And the theory only applies to certain three player games. I call it “Monkey in the Middle”. In a three player game, one player is going to be the “monkey”, while the other two players will have a complete advantage over the monkey. This leaves the monkey running back and forth, trying to catch the “bananas”, but he never does. He finishes last place.
Now this theory might require some additional testing, but I have seen it happen more than once. Either this theory is true, or somebody is leeching my good luck. I mean, I don’t mind losing a little bit. But what I don’t like is where the game is one-sided, with everyone else having an advantage over you.
Muse: Here’s your bananas!
Bananas? That was just an analogy. I’m not a monkey!
Muse: But you just said you were!
I’m not. Are you done being a rebellious teenager now?
Muse: No. I’m just humoring you because you said that you were the monkey in the middle. Tee hee!
Well, ha ha. I don’t really think it’s funny.
Muse: I betcha I could beat you in that game! I mean, you lost that bad!
I would, but I only play games against REAL people….
Muse: Really? What about playing against the computer? I could be the computer!
No. I’m actually going to play against my brother. I want to see what a two-player game feels like.
Muse: Oh yeah! You don’t need me, when you have HIM, a real person, right?
Enough. He’s real and you’re not.
Muse: So, how do I look?
Like a mess. Your clothes don’t even match. Pink polka dot skirt and sparkling blue and orange pants? You’re a fashion disaster!
Muse: I call it independence. Independence from you. You can’t tell me what to do anymore.
You’re right. I can’t. But they would be good rules to follow, right?
Muse: Wrong! My rules are better. I like my rules. No boundaries. No boundaries of any kind! Tee hee! How about this outfit?
A one second costume change. Cute. A red bow, a frilly pink dress and white slippers. You look like a princess. All you’re missing is the tiara and the fairy wings.
Muse; You know what? I don’t care. This is my own form of expression. She….
Let me guess. Your inner child wanted to dress that way, right?
Muse: Now you’re getting it! No boundaries means no restraints. She can have whatever she wants, when she wants it.
So is this inner child the one that told you the “secret”?
Muse: Nope! She has nothing to do with that at all. This is me thinking completely on my own. No boundaries, no restraints and no authority. This is my new way of thinking, and it’s here to stay. Do you like it?
It’s actually annoying, so no.
Muse: Too bad! Boo hoo. I’m not your idea slave anymore. I’m a woman Muse, free from those bonds that imprisoned me. What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing. What is there to do to stop you? I’ll just let you destroy yourself.
Muse: Really? Would you actually do that? You gave me that cure to save me. Now are you saying that you don’t love me anymore?
No. It’s just that I could do anything in the world, but it’s not going to change your attitude. When you’re ready to change, I will be here.
Muse: Oh, I was ready. Tee hee! It already happened! Just look at me now!
A lolita? You’re in doll’s clothing now.
Muse; Now look. Tee hee!
A pink nightgown with bunny slippers. Can we drop the teenage rebellion thing already?
Muse: What was that? I couldn’t hear you! I’m having too much fun!
Take your rebellion somewhere else. It doesn’t belong here.
Muse; You know what? I’m bored. Time for another yummy lunch! Bye!
Who has she learned this teenage behavior from? I’ve never seen it before. I’m starting to get really concerned about this. If the information gathering is going to happen, it better happen quickly. I just need to master getting into the Realm of Imagination first. It’s really hard to get there. Harder than dreaming.
Today’s high is going to be 84 degrees. The silver lining will be more story progress.
For those of you who don’t like losing in board games, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Muse: This rebellion thing is getting boring, but you told me to do it, so I have to listen! Also, I’m starting to get bored as an adult. Maybe a little later. Tee hee!