Ladies and gentlemen, does THIS look like a Pizza Genius to you?
This is what you will see on the back of my work shirt. The unmistakable Little Caesars logo with the words “Pizza Genius” displayed at the top.
Let me be clear. The only REAL Pizza Geniuses I know are the ones that own the franchises. They are the ones that actually make the money at the store. For a “Pizza Genius” like me, I make about minimum wage. Managers make a little more than that, but still less than the franchise owners.
So why use the term “Pizza Genius”? It can only mean that I am good at making pizzas, or have a significant knowledge of how they’re made. That is one kind of intelligence, but it doesn’t necessarily pay the bills. It does identify me as a member of Mike Ilitch’s team, but only the higher-ups can truly benefit here.
Muse: I love their pizza! It’s amazing.
Yes. It’s amazing, but the job doesn’t really pay as well.
Muse: Well of course! What do you expect? It’s a part-time job.
So what are you here for? You don’t just come out of my head for nothing.
Muse: I want a PIZZA!
Well go get one then! I’m not sharing any of mine with you.
Muse: But I don’t have any money….
No money? Well, Muses don’t have money.
Muse: So what if they don’t? I’m a SPECIAL Muse, remember?
Yes. You’re special alright…
Muse: I want my pizza NOW!
You’re not going to get anything with that attitude.
Muse: But I’m hungry! Can I have one? Please?
Have some more ideas.
Muse: But they’re not fully grown yet! Please?
Muse: Please please please please please please pleeease?
Going with the juvenile behavior again, aren’t you? You know how old that is getting. The audience won’t be able to put up with this much longer, and neither will I.
Muse: BUT I WANT MY PIZZA!! I WANT IT NOW NOW NOW! NOW!!!!
Here! You’re an Intangible so you’ll be able to have this. Eat up, Little Miss Whiny Muse!
Muse: Om nom nom nom. I want another one!
One is all you get. I’m not getting you another.
Muse: But I want another one NOW!
Sorry Veruca Salt. You don’t get another one. Now get back in my head before I spank you.
Muse: But i WANT ANOTHER….OWWWW!!!!!! WAAAAAH!!!! Okay…..I don’t like you…..
There. Now where were we? Oh yeah. We were talking about our friend: the Pizza Genius.
To summarize my point, the higher-ups benefit from being a Pizza Genius the most. Everyone else will need a second job just to get by. Bottom line: Pizza Geniuses don’t make a lot of money. Just the franchise owners do.
For today, the high will be 76 degrees and sunny. The silver lining will be making more progress on my story. I made a little progress yesterday and I would like to continue on that today.
To all of you who flaunt your intelligence in a different way, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.
Muse: I still want more pizza. OW! My butt still hurts….owwie….