Once again, it’s that time of year.  The day where romantic couples can celebrate the love that they have for each other.  And that celebration is reveled in reading mushy cards, chewing conversation hearts and chocolates and dining at an expensive restaurant.

Despite this holiday being based off of a priest named Saint Valentine, this is a greeting card day.  A cash cow for Hallmark and one of their most profitable days, besides Christmas.  According to some figures that I have heard, Americans have spent $20 billion on Valentine’s Day.  If I am the Scrooge of Valentine’s Day, then bah humbug!

Muse:  Would you be my Valentine?

Twin Muse:  How about me?  Will you be MY Valentine?

As cliché as it is, sure.  Is this going to be another date like the last time we did this?

Muse:  It is.  I really want a date and there is no one that I can find who is suitable.

Twin Muse:  She’s right.  As attractive as we are, we just can’t find the right one.  How about a double date?

What?!  ME go on a double date with twin Muses who are totally imaginary?  Are you out of your mind?  Granted, I really enjoyed it with one last time, but again with two?!

Muse:  Yes again.  I really enjoyed our date from last time and I would like to do this again.  Just think about it.  It would be better to date someone imaginary than no one at all.  After all, this day is quite lonely for those who can’t find dates…

Twin Muse: And what about me?  You have always gone on dates with my sister, but never me?  How about you date us both?  We can both take turns kissing you.  How about it?

You two are just trying to make me feel better.

Muse:  That, and I have already shared my undying affection for you.  And you said it yourself.  You want to make others happy on this day, right?  Can we PLEASE go on a date?  Maybe this will persuade you.

Twin Muse:  Oh come on!  I love him even more.  You want to make someone happy?  Date me too!

*smooch*

Wow.  That’s good.

Twin Muse:  That’s not all!  Mine is better!  Will this change your mind?

*SMOOCH*

Okay.  I’m convinced.  Where to, Sadie Hawkins Twins?

Muse:  We could go to Maru. I love that place.  It would’ve been Genji’s, but that place burned down last year…

Twin Muse:  Yeah.  Definitely Maru.  And I know how strapped for cash you are.  I will pay for it.  An all expenses paid date!  How about that?

I do too, but it will be packed on a night like tonight.  And if we’re going, we need to make reservations NOW.

Muse:  Done!  I already have them set up for 6:30.

Twin Muse:  What a poser!  I made the reservations and you took all the credit!

Also…oh no…

Muse:  What?

Twin Muse:  Yeah.  What’s wrong?

If you’re my Valentine, I didn’t get you anything for Valentine’s Day.  No card, roses or chocolates.  Nothing.

Muse:  That’s okay.  You can buy them after dinner.  I have my rose for you, but I still have to get the card.  We can go in separate rooms to sign them.

Twin Muse:  Or I could buy everything for him and he can take all the credit!  Remember, he’s broke!

Sounds like a plan.  But this is a joke, right?

Muse:  It’s not.  I’m serious.  I WANT a date!  I am not sitting home alone on this day.  Can you please take me seriously?  This is a real date.

Twin Muse:  I could be playing video games but I’m sick of being lonely and hearing about all these dates that my sister got to go on, but I’m always missing out!  It’s real, Kyle.  As real as this entry is!

A real date with a fake set of twins.  Okay.

Muse:  What was that?  At this point, I would be angry.  But I love you too much!

*smooch*

Whoa.  You kiss way better than any real person ever could.

Twin Muse:  Yeah.  I’m just going to let this one slide.  Do you have any idea how cute you look?

*SMOOCH*

WOW!  Now THAT’S what I call a kiss!  Can any real lady kiss like that?

Muse:  Trust me.  A real kiss from a real girl will be better than this.  But this will have to do for now…When are you picking me up?

Twin Muse:  She’s right.  You’re better off with the real thing.  But doesn’t this make good practice?  Can you give us the pick up time?

Well, I work until 3:00 at Little Caesars, so it will have to be dinner at a normal time this time.  How about six o’ clock this year for a change?

Muse:  Six will work. I’ll be reading a romance novel in the meantime.  See you at six!

Twin Muse:  Count me in for six!  I’ll be playing a dating sim while I’m waiting.  Don’t keep us waiting!

 

Well, that was interesting.  At least I won’t be alone later on.  Today, I’ll be working an 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM at Little Caesars.  A little later, I’ll be going on a “date” with my Twin Muses.  I can’t believe that I just said that.  Granted, it will be weird, but it will keep my sanity intact.

My Twin Muses are 16 years and 11 months today. They’re 4 foot 5.5 inches tall and they both weigh 69.5 pounds. The height of a 9 year old and weight of a 10 year old.

Wait a second…They’re both almost 17?!!!  I’m sorry.  Even if it’s a fake date, I can’t date minors!

Muse:  One more thing.  The story arc is paused so we’re both 40 today!

Twin Muse:  Yeah.  We’re both adults so cool your jets. Remember.  6:00.  Don’t be late!

Today’s high is going to be 24 degrees and the silver lining will be going on a date with my Twin Muses.

To those of you lovebirds who are perfectly content with sharing your love with the world, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

 

Muse:  Oh, I’m so glad that he said yes!  I am determined to fill that void that he has in that lonely heart of his.  Time to put on the best clothes that I own and the best perfume!  His eyes will melt when he sees me next…Happy Valentine’s Day, Kyle!  I promise you that I will make it a good one.

Twin Muse:  I am at a level of ecstasy that words cannot describe.  How big and vast is that loneliness of yours, Kyle?  I can feel it because I have felt it too.  All those missed opportunities that my sister was able to take advantage of.  But no more!  If you’re going on a date, it’s going to be with both of us!  I researched the best clothes and perfumes!  I also know your favorite video game!  Don’t you think that girls who like video games are hot?  Oh, Kyle is just going to fall head over heels for me!  Happy Valentine’s Day, Kyle!  I assure you that both I and my twinnie will make this a Valentine’s Day that you won’t forget.