Me & My Muse – Day 1201B: The Muse’s Secret Weakness

Muse glanced at her hands and face while Kyle was looking the other way.  The regeneration made me smaller this time.  I was 5’6” before, but now I’m 4’6”?  This form is going to take some getting used to…

She glanced at her soaked Hello Kitty pajamas, an embarrassing reminder of her former toddlerhood.  Going from toddler to adult made the regeneration rather messy.  If she had never panicked as a toddler, she wouldn’t have to worry about her pajama bottoms being all wet.  Using her Intangible abilities, she made her pajamas dry again.

Muse then alerted Kyle.  “You can look back now.”

Muse then looked around.  Oh, how I wish that there was a mirror!  This form …I would like to see what it looks like.  It’s very much like moving into a new home.  It’s going to take some getting used to…

Muse asked Kyle if there was a mirror, but before he could answer, she in her impatience decided to make one herself.  There.  A full body mirror to look at…And…She was surprised.  Her face was totally different from her previous form.  It was the form that The Doctor recognized.  He won’t recognize this new form!  She thought.

Muse talked with Kyle for a while.  Knowing that he was only a human, she had to be patient with his questions.  Kyle never experienced what she did.  Living on Gallifrey and fighting in the Time War…All of this would be way beyond his understanding…

In a split second, Muse changed her outfit and explained her origins to Kyle.  She seemed to like blue in this form, so she settled on a blue dress.  It’s okay for me to explain this much to Kyle.  I’m sure that The Doctor won’t mind.  She remembered her recent conversation with The Doctor.  He told her to not share everything, giving specific details regarding what not to tell.  Don’t share the abduction. And whatever you do, don’t mention the top secret advantage that Kyle has.  This secret, if told could spell danger for the universe.

She mentioned the temporal distortion.  The strange anomaly that appeared in her parent’s house right after the abduction.  She knew how it got there, but she wouldn’t tell Kyle about it.  Not yet.  The Doctor doesn’t want him to know.

Regarding the whole matter of her actual origin, she lied about it.  She was actually in her own body since birth.  Telling the real story would require her bringing up the abduction, and she didn’t want to do that.  She could almost hear The Doctor shouting “Don’t tell him!”

Muse started to get impatient, but she hid it well.  She glanced at her hands and body again.  This body is different.  These thoughts are different.  It’s always like this with each regeneration.  Having grown up with The Doctor, they both knew this well.  But she couldn’t reveal her impatience to him.  She so badly wanted to return to her TARDIS and adjust to all the new changes in her latest regeneration.

Even though she appeared to be the same age as Kyle, her new form looked a little younger.  Not bad for over 2,000 years old.  Am I even that old?  She had no clue as to how old she really was.  She could ask The Doctor, but not even The Doctor knew his own age.  It kind of goes with being a Time Lord or Time Lady.  You could spend numerous centuries in different timelines, making your age anywhere from hundreds to millions of years old.  And for millions, she could essentially visit the same time period over and over again until she got tired of it.

After mentioning the Time War to Kyle, that was enough.  She hurried to her TARDIS, as she was very eager to get adjusted to her new form.

Unfortunately, Kyle ran up to her.  She has seen this enough times with her past companions.  They all wanted to travel with her.  For her last companion, it was a messy breakup, so she didn’t want to start another one yet.

Muse spelled it out to him in black and white.  “No. I travel alone.  I’ve had companions before, but the last one really let me down…”

This didn’t bother Kyle at all.  “They did but I won’t.”

Quite a persistent one, she decided.  Then it happened.  Her bladder was full, and the overwhelming urge hit her.  She had to end the conversation quick!  “I’ll think about it.  Don’t worry.  I’ll be back, dear.  Now I really need to be going now…”

She quickly entered the door to her TARDIS and closed it.  But before she could even make it to a bathroom, she began to wet herself.  She hurried to the nearest bathroom, which fortunately was a secret room within the control room.  She closed the door, wetness dripping off of her legs.  She let the dripping finish in the toilet and she flushed it.  That’s strange.  My last form didn’t have trouble holding it.

She used her Intangible abilities and made her underwear dry again.  She wasn’t about to clean her dripping trail in the TARDIS, so she made that messy area vanish.  All clean again.

All alone now, Muse could now adjust to her new form.  She seemed more witty and funny than her last form, who was a little more direct and serious.  She spent the next few hours thinking about her new thoughts and how they compared to the thoughts in her previous regeneration.  She then thought about her last encounter with The Doctor and what they discussed.  He told her what her responsibility was with Kyle and all the details regarding his plan, which was to be kept a secret.

Then she thought about her embarrassing accident which she was able to isolate to her TARDIS just in time.  Why did she have this accident?  Surely it’s just something with her body getting used to the new regeneration, right?  This is what she decided as she crawled underneath the covers of her bed.  She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

She awoke suddenly to a rather unpleasant dampness.  The dampness was spreading through her bedding.  In her frustration, she got out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, which was right inside her bedroom.  Leaving another dripping trail, she sat down on the toilet and finished her business.

She glanced down at her moist pajamas and underwear.  Why is this happening?  I have never experienced a regeneration with continence this terrible!  It was like she couldn’t even hold it, even with her strongest efforts.

Then it hit her.  She suddenly remembered her previous memories as a toddler.  She was struggling to make it to the toilet.  Now an adult, her bladder was still weak.  Her parents, Remedy and Nurture were supposed to toilet train her.  “They didn’t try hard enough!” she shouted in frustration.  Then she burst into tears.  Kyle was supposed to help out with this too.

Weren’t they supposed to raise me properly in that cycle?  She fumed, striking her fist against the toilet paper on the toilet paper dispenser.  Her incontinence as a baby carried over to her adult body for some reason.  She reasoned that this happened because she didn’t master using the potty 100% when she was young.

She let out a deep sigh.  She didn’t want to do this, but it was absolutely necessary to keep her secret hidden.  She used her Intangible ability to make her pajamas dry and transform her soaked underwear into a dry diaper.

As she put it on, she began to blush.  I may be wearing this, but I will try to make it to the toilet at all costs.  This is merely embarrassment insurance so that Kyle doesn’t find out…

She crawled back into bed and instantly dried it.  With her embarrassment insurance, there was nothing to worry about.

Morning came.  She scrambled to the bathroom and went.  It didn’t matter whether her diaper was soaked or not.  What mattered was that there was no mess to worry about.

Hours passed.  With it being the daytime, she made her secret that she was wearing more discreet so that Kyle wouldn’t notice.

During those hours, she was overcome with an intense longing for Kyle.  What’s to think about? He’s going to be my next companion.  We’ve experienced so much and I really miss him…

She rushed out of the TARDIS and grabbed Kyle by the hand.  “Thought about it!  Kyle, come with me now!”

Muse hurriedly took Kyle to her TARDIS.  She coaxed him inside and he entered.

“Bigger on the inside, right?” she heard Kyle shout.

She agreed, nodding and gave Kyle a warning.  She was about to smother him with love, giving him a kiss for every day that she wasn’t able to talk to him.  100 kisses for 100 days.  She pinned him to the ground, kissing him quickly and fiercely.  She didn’t care who saw her with him.  Kyle was hers, and she wasn’t about to share him with anyone.

A brief discussion began, and Kyle wanted to know the origin.  She couldn’t talk about the abduction or anything that The Doctor forbid her to say.  So she admitted it.  “I promised him that I wouldn’t tell you yet.  He doesn’t want you to know yet…”

Kyle was satisfied at the answer…for now since he was distracted by Muse.  Like Muse, he really missed her as an adult.

Like Muse, Kyle kissed her 100 times.  He then wanted to know about her origin again.

“I will want to talk to The Doctor.  I will want to know why you can’t share with me about your origin.”

Why does he want to know?  He has every right to know as I do, but The Doctor said that I couldn’t tell him yet.  She told him that she would tell him when it was okay with The Doctor.  These were his directions, not hers.

Kyle then asked where his room was. That’s when her bladder was full again.  Even though she was wearing a diaper, she wanted to use it as little as possible.

“It’s…” she began, her bladder beginning to empty.  “Down the hallway.  Third room on the right!  Now I gotta go!  Bye!”

She made a beeline to the bathroom and finished her business there.  Her embarrassment insurance kept her dry.

She then began thinking about her secret.  Every day, she would test the strength of her bladder.  But this wouldn’t be necessary.  She has a TARDIS, right?

While Kyle was in his room, she pressed buttons in the control room, piloting her TARDIS to 100 days in the future.  Her next Intangible form had the same problem, and so did the one after that.  Eventually, she travelled far enough in the future to find a form with a normal bladder.

She then let out a sigh of despair.  This incontinence is going to last a very long time.

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