Me & My Muse – Day 949: A Single Challenge

Having thought about this today, i am between a rock and a hard place.

What am I referring to?  With Valentine’s Day in just two days, I am encountering what a number of singles have tried to do: find a mate.

I have heard it on the radio and on television.  Everyone gushing about it being so close to Valentine’s Day.  For singles, what do we do?

For me, it really is a rough spot.  I do enjoy the freedom of being single.  The freedom of not being tied down to someone else.  The freedom of being able to do whatever I want whenever I want.  This freedom is wonderful, and for anyone who is able to experience it like me, I’m sure that you would agree.

But for me, I do have my moments where I am lonely.  And that is where I am torn between singleness and finding a mate.  Having freedom is great and being with someone else is great.  Both are amazing gifts from God, but I feel like I’m being tugged between two different areas.  Am I about to relinquish my freedom to a beautiful woman who fears the Lord?  Am I about to commit my time to cultivating a relationship with her that could potentially end in heartbreak?  If it doesn’t end that way, I would still be locked in.  Tied to her.  Committed.

Do I want to experience all the seasons with her, all the while being filled with love?  With the love growing and the relationship solidified,  the proposal would be made.  We would be engaged.  The knot would tighten.  Very committed.

After engagement, the commitment must continue.  Numerous sacrifices would have to be made for her sake.  Potentially activities that I would love to do.  I would be sharing in the activities that she loves.  Her hobbies, the occasional meeting with her parents or mine, or a quiet night where we would study the bible together.  The topic would then arise to plan the wedding.

The plans would then be made.  The invitations sent out and the venues would be booked.  The church and the convention center.  The photographer, the DJ and the catering.  The wedding cake, the dress rental and the tuxedo rental.  Then the rehearsal for the special day.

Then the day would come.  The wedding day.  There would be no turning back.  I signed up for this so I better commit everything to her.  The vows would be made and exchanged.  The ring and the solemn promise to be with each other for the rest of our lives, until death would separate one of us.  We both say “I do”.  And upon kissing the bride, it would be official.  The knot would tighten and vanish, with both of our bodies being fused together.  We are one part.  One flesh.  One unit.  Fully committed.

Do I really want this to happen in my life?  To be chained to her until one of us dies?  I love my freedom but I hate being alone.  There is no middle ground between marriage and singleness.  You’re either one or the other.

But I do want to be a father someday.  And for that to happen, that child will need both a mother and a father.  And the only way for that to happen is to be married.

For now, I will enjoy my freedom.  And I’ll enjoy it while I can still have it.  Singleness is a good thing, and so is marriage.  God may call me to another season in the future, but until He does, I will enjoy the liberties that every single person is able to enjoy.

 

Muse:  Kyle, if you like your freedom, then keep it.

I like my freedom, but I have my occasional moments of being lonely.  Like I said.  Rock and a hard place.

Muse:  Don’t worry about the loneliness.  You are not alone.  You have God.  You have your grandparents.  You have your family.

I do, but I still feel like I’m missing something.  I especially feel this when I see a child with their mother.

Muse:  That’s jealousy.  You shouldn’t be jealous for that child, or the mother.  God gave her that child.  God gave her that husband.  It’s a gift.  And your singleness too, is a gift.  Just don’t be jealous.

It’s hard not to, but I do want to be a father.

Muse:  Do you want to be one right now?  If you were married, and your wife was just giving birth at a hospital, would you be ready?

I don’t know if I would.

Muse:  It’s a different season.  God may call you to it if it’s his will.

I surely hope it is.  God’s command to all of us is to be fruitful and multiply.  Fill the earth and subdue it.  I want to have a son or daughter that I can teach.  But I do want to be ready.

Muse:  Keep praying.  Right now, God has you in the growing season.  Ask, and see where he will send you next.

I will.  Thanks for the reason.

Muse:  Any time, Kyle.  Enjoy your gift of singleness while you have it!

I’ll enjoy every minute!

Muse:  Time for some more reading.  Bye!

*Muse vanishes in a flash of light*

While I am torn, I will find the middle road.  Make new friends.  They can be male or female.  And if they’re female, I’ll let God make the call where to go from there.

Today’s high is going to be 19 degrees and the silver lining is being able to enjoy my gift of singleness.

To those of you who have ever experienced this gift before, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

 

Muse:  I don’t want Kyle to feel left out on Valentine’s Day.  Like every year, I will be his Valentine.  He needs some kind of model to serve as his future date.  I will watch how he treats me and will give him some very honest feedback.   It will be very special and he’ll love it!