Me & My Muse – Day 838: Sweet Saturday

To celebrate my Saturday off, I will be embarking with my brother and my friend on a quest.  A quest to rescue Princess Styla of Hytopia, a trendy kingdom brimming with fashion.  Together, we will all be playing The Legend of Zelda: Triforce Heroes and will begin our exciting journey.  I can hardly wait…


(Real) Muse: I must get control of my body back!  That Cellulite Sluggard has made my body gain 50 pounds a day!  I’m very close to literally weighing a ton!

Voice:  You got a problem with that, Miss I Wanna Be as Skinny as a Toothpick?  I’m all over you, and let me tell you, honey.  It feels GOOD! Ha ha!  And with you being Intangible, we’re going to break so many records…

Muse:  Stop it!  You’re forgetting that this is MY body!  Not yours!

Voice:  Oh really?  I didn’t see any name on it.  Maybe you should’ve thought about that, Miss Toothpick!

Muse:  Toothpick?  I don’t like being fat.  Why don’t you just leave me alone!

Voice:  So, you want me to pack my bags and leave?  I was just getting used to this place!  Let me think about it…NO!  This body is amazing.  Because you’re an Intangible, the heart rate doesn’t matter.  I get just get bigger and bigger and not have to worry about dying! Ha ha!

Muse:  If you aren’t going to leave, then I’ll make you…Urgh!!! Let…me…go!

Voice:  There’s no breaking out of those bars, honey.  That’s solid cellulite, or should I say, solid me!  Ha ha!

Muse:  Try me.  Urggggggggggahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

*Muse breaks out of cellulite cell*

Muse:  Ha!  I just broke out of your CELLuclite that you put me in!

Voice:  Miss Toothpick’s getting feisty, huh?  I’ll make a stronger one that you can’t break out of!  Say goodbye to your body, because it’s mine now!  Ha ha!

Muse:  No!  As long as I exist, I will never stop fighting!

Voice:  Yikes!  Then we better do something about that…

*dark area flashes, which forms a new cellulite cell around the Muse*

Voice:  You see that flash?  That’s what happens every time your body gains weight!  Ha ha!  And we now weigh more than a ton, baby!  Oh yeah!

Muse:  You’re going to pay for this!

Voice:  I am, huh?  I’m already paying!  It happens every time I eat!  BUUUUUUURP!  Ha ha!


Having that said, today is going to be fun with my friend.  And…That’s strange.  I haven’t seen my Muse in a while.  She’s probably still at her house, pigging out on food in front of the TV.

I’m starting to get worried about my Muse.  I think I’ll check on her today.

Today’s high is going to be 65 degrees and the silver lining is my friend coming over today.

To those of you who like spending time with your friends on the weekends, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.


Voice:  You see, Miss Toothpick?  That one’s way stronger than that puny excuse for a cell that I made before.  And with Halloween coming up, I need to get prepared.  I’m going as Fat Princess and I’m setting a the record for the most Halloween candy consumed.  And since you’re Intangible, diabetes won’t be an issue.  And neither will throwing up. Too bad you have to miss it!  Ha ha!

Muse (thinking):  Somehow, I’m going to escape this wretched prison of fat.  Somehow.  I am NOT going to miss Halloween!