Cutting right to the chase, I just finished working an extremely busy morning shift and my friend’s on his way…

All communications have been temporarily terminated to make this announcement.  This is a notice from the Honorable Chairman Al Yankovic.  In one week, you and everyone in your household will attend Chairman Al’s Concert on May 29th.  This is the date that he has selected for your household.  Please be ready for that day, as fun will be mandatory for everyone involved.

Like the previous announcement, anyone who objects to attending the concert will be dealt with by Chairman Al himself.  You will be tied to a chair and forced to watch all of his old accordion practice tapes for 27 days.  You will do this while shouting “I serve and revere Chairman Al”.  This is a penalty that you don’t want to have administered, so attending the concert is the most viable option.

At this time, you should be listening and learning all of Chairman Al’s anthems, old and new, as everyone will be expected to sing them at the concert.  Loyalty enforcers will be watching, so you better be singing.  Above all else, Chairman Al’s concert is mandatory.  Everyone will attend it and everyone will have fun.

For the weather in your area, the high will be 64 degrees and sunny, with it being another good day to serve your Honorable Chairman.  The positive aspect of this day is you and your household receiving a one week notice of Chairman Al’s upcoming concert.  Again, he stresses that attending this concert is mandatory, and everyone who attends it will have fun, or else.

That is all.

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