Cutting right to the chase, I work a 2-7 shift at Little…

All communications have been temporarily terminated to make this announcement from the Honorable Chairman Al Yankovic.  You and everyone in your household will attend Chairman Al’s Concert on May 29th.  This is the date that he has selected for your household.  As for the other households, they will all have a preselected date and a required time to attend.

Anyone who objects to attending the concert will be dealt with by Chairman Al himself.  You will be tied to a chair and forced to watch all of his old accordion practice tapes for 27 days.  You will do this while shouting “I serve and revere Chairman Al”.  This is a penalty that you don’t want to have administered, so attending the concert is the most viable option.

Learn all of Chairman Al’s new anthems, as everyone will be expected to sing them at the concert.  Loyalty enforcers will be watching, so you better be singing.  Above all else, Chairman Al’s concert is mandatory.  Everyone will attend it and everyone will have fun.

For the weather in your area, the high will be 18 degrees and mostly cloudy, with it being another good day to serve your Honorable Chairman.  The positive aspect of this day is everyone receiving notice of Chairman Al’s upcoming concert.  Again, he stresses that attending this concert is mandatory, and everyone who attends it will have fun, or else.

That is all.

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