Me & My Muse – Day 42: Work + Toastmasters = The Perfect Vacation

Let me be very clear with all of you.  My Muse is becoming a nightmare.  She is becoming very defiant and is starting to do whatever she wants now.  Candy for every meal? Done.  “Honest” critiques of her poorly written stories?  Done, but I had to make it convincing to please her.  Devouring a literal mountain of ice cream for dessert?  (Don’t ask me.  Intangibles can do anything.)  Of course!  Drinking a whole swimming pool full of milk?  She wanted me to try it first, but she did it with ease as a giant.  Game after game.  Everything is a game to her now!  How does my dress look?  How does my dress look?  I am tired of hearing that!

That old man better have a cure soon, or I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!!!


Muse:  I’m UP!  I’m up! I’m up! I’m up!  I’m up!

I know you are, Little Miss Muse….

Muse:  Tee hee!  I love it when you call me that!  Let’s play another game!

I don’t want to do that.  You have been affecting my ratings, you know….People read this, and they don’t like what they see.

Muse:  Well I don’t care!  They’re just a bunch of boring adults who don’t have fun anymore!

They told me.  This would be good for a younger audience and I would do good as a children’s author.

Muse:  Well good for them!  Kids know how to have fun and adults don’t!  They know what they’re talking about!

While that’s the case, your antics are starting to get tiresome!

Muse:  And you’re starting to get boring!  Let’s play another game!  Let’s play dress up!  You know you love that game!

No….Don’t.  I’m glad that none of you can see me right now.  Let’s just say that I don’t have all my clothes on.

Muse:  You’re in your undies!

They don’t need to know that!  Now stop!

Muse:  You’re in your undies!  You’re in your undies!  Ha ha!  You’re in your UNDERPANTS!

What part of stop don’t you understand?

Muse:  Now, let’s put you in this pretty dress.  Aw….You look so cute!

I feel totally embarrassed right now.  Men don’t wear dresses!

Muse:  But I want you to wear one, because you look cute in it!

You see, everyone.  That’s what I have to put up with constantly when I’m not writing these.

Muse:  Let’s play another game!  Eating contest!  See if you can finish all of my breakfast before I do.  Ready, set, go!

That’s….1,000 Hershey bars!  I could never….

Muse:  I win!  You didn’t even try!

Of course not!  You ate all of them in seconds!

Muse:  You just didn’t try!  You never do!  Never never!

You’re Intangible, and I’m not.  How am I supposed to…..

Muse:  Blah blah blah!  Same stupid excuse every time!  I would play with somebody else, but you’re the only one that plays with me.

I wonder why….

Muse:  Tell me why, because I can’t figure it out!

Well, you have probably scared everyone away since they have played with you before.  Ever thought of that?

Muse:  They just don’t like me!  That’s why they’re afraid!

They’re afraid.  Trust me….Who in the Realm of Imagination would play with you?

Muse:  You would!

But I’m not in the Realm of Imagination.  I’m in reality.

Muse:  You are?  I always get those two places mixed up!

I don’t.  Don’t you have something else that you should be doing?

Muse:  What?  Those ideas?  I ate them all so I don’t have anymore to raise!  Besides, I don’t know how to raise them….

What?  My ideas depend on someone creative like you to look after them.  With you around, my new ideas will fail to thrive and die.  And you will starve, for real.

Muse:  But I have plenty of food!

Real food won’t nourish you.  Ideas are the only thing that keep you nourished.  Without eating any new ideas, you will die….

Muse:  Well, what am I supposed to be?  A mommy to them or something?  I don’t know how to do that!

You used to!  That’s what is freaking me out….

Muse:  Well forget about the ideas!  Let’s play another game!  How about grow up?

DON’T do that one!

Muse;  You’re right!  Tee hee!  We played that one yesterday!  We’ll play it tomorrow….Anyway, how does my dress look?

Stop asking that!

Muse:  How does my dress look?   How does my dress look?  Tell me!

I’m not.  I already told you 100 times!  How about this game?  Good night, Muse!

Muse:  Why are you using the leash?  So….tired….

At least the old man gave me SOMETHING that can keep her under control.


There.  My Muse can take a nap for now.

As I was about to say before my Muse came out, work and Toastmasters will be the perfect vacation from her, for sure….Today, I work and I have a Toastmasters meeting.

The high today will be 84 and the silver lining will be making for progress on either story, if I have time.  My speech practice comes first.

To all who want a vacation from their children, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.


Muse:  *snore* Tee hee….So fun….Huh?  He did it again!  I wanna play a game!  I don’t want a nap!

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