Now that I’m finally done with my opening shift at Little Caesars, I can finally relax…

*both twin Muses appear next to me*

Or not.  You both look upset.  What’s wrong?

*Muse holds Twin Muse’s bedding and plops it in front of me*

Muse:  She did it again!  My twin is a bedwetter!

Twin Muse:  Am not!

Muse:  Then what’s that soaked bedding right there?  And that face of embarrassment?  Kyle, can you tell her to wear her Awesomenites to bed?  She’s not wearing them!

Twin Muse:  I don’t need them!

Muse:  And I can’t stay in the room with a bedwetting baby that can’t own up to the truth!

Girls, stop right now!  Muse, do you mind if I talk to your sister in private?

Muse:  Go ahead.  I’ll just be checking my ‘gram.  *whispers to Twin Muse*  Really sis, you really need to wear them.  They will help you!

Twin Muse:  Stop it!

*Muse vanishes in a beam of light*

So, Twin Muse.  Can you tell me what this is about?  I see that wet bedding right there…

Twin Muse:  Yeah?  So you’re going to call me a baby too?

No.  Not at all.  Accidents happen, and I can assure you that you’re not the only one dealing with that problem.

Twin Muse:  Then why do I have the problem?  My sister NEVER has a wet bed!

And you do!  It doesn’t make you a baby.  You just need a little help.  Now, didn’t your sister recommend that you wear something to bed?

Twin Muse:  Yeah.  Those stupid diapers…

Didn’t she call them Awesomenites?  And I wouldn’t call them that.  They’re special protection to wear to bed.  Now wouldn’t you want to be dry when you wake up?

Twin Muse:  (eyes beginning to tear up)  Yeah, but I don’t wanna wear those!

What other choice do you have?  A wet bed or a wet Awesomenite?  If you choose the second option, your bed will stay dry.

Twin Muse:  Um, this really isn’t private, you know?  Others are totally reading this.

Yes they are.  And this is spreading awareness regarding this unique demographic.  To cut things short, I’m just going to echo what your sister told you.  Consider wearing them to bed.  You will not regret it.

Twin Muse:  *sigh*  Okay!  But none of my friends can know about this!

And if they do, they’ll like you regardless of your problem.  Otherwise, they were not your friends to begin with.

Twin Muse:  You totes have a point there.  Thanks.  I’m going to wash that bedding.  All washed and dried!

Yes.  Because of Intangible rules, right?

Twin Muse:  Of course!  You use a washer and dryer?  That takes too long!

It does, but I live in the real world and I can’t just make something dry at will.

Twin Muse:  Well, enjoy your tangible rules!  Thanks for the help!

*Twin Muse vanishes in a beam of light*

Is this really what it’s like to deal with a teenager?  What’s next?  Fighting over a boyfriend?  Mood swings?  Menstrual cycles?  Well, I guess it’s time to relax now.

My Twin Muses are 14 years and 8 months today. They’re 4 foot 2 inches tall and they both weigh 59 pounds. The height and the weight of a six year old.

Today’s high is going to be 19 degrees and the silver lining is being done with the close-open shift.

To those of you who have worked tiresome shifts before, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

Muse: So you’re going to wear them?

Twin Muse: Not if I have an audience.  How about you step out of the room?

Muse:  Fair enough!  Trust me, sis.  You are NOT going to regret it.

Twin Muse:  Here goes.  These Awesomenites look SO babyish.  They’re like soft underwear.  Very soft underwear.  But wow.  They’re so comfortable!  So what if my sister is not a bedwetter?  She’s missing out on the cozyness!  Okay!  I have my jammies on!  You can come back in now!

Muse:  How do you feel, sis?

Twin Muse:  Cozy!  Unlike you…

Muse:  What is that supposed to mean?

Twin Muse:  I’m cozy and you’re not!  (Plus I’m going to have the best sleep EVER since I won’t be waking up to wet bed sheets…)