Knowing the severity of this insomnia, it’s definitely going to be a process.  One that I simply can’t say that I have control over.  I stayed up all night again.  God’s sovereignty is in control here.  As for all the details, here are the notes that I took today documenting my thoughts and feelings.

4:38 AM – This is going to be a rough day.  I didn’t get a drop of sleep last night and I will have to get through this whole day somehow.  I need to ask myself: have I surrendered fully to God?  He will grant me peace once I have done this.

8:19 AM – Met with Men’s Accountability Group this morning at Live Oak Coffeehouse.  Heard everybody’s updates and shared mine.  Addressed my need and desire to rest in the Lord.  To free any obstacles that are preventing that.

10:12 AM – Big discovery!  When I thought of and meditated on Philippians 4:13:  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.  The moment that I thought of that verse, I started to cry.  This was the truth that I needed to securely fasten to my heart.  Jesus is doing the meditation with every meditation of the verse.  After that, the chorus to Natalie Grant’s “More Than Anything” popped into my head.  This definitely came from the Holy Spirit, as the refrain says “Help me want the healer more than the healing.”  This is very important, as God supplies me with every single one of my needs.  For a very extreme hypothetical, if I were to have 101 things wrong with me, would I want to pursue 101 different things to heal?  Wouldn’t I want to pursue the one that heals instead?  Matthew 6:33 makes it clear.  “But seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well.”  This includes clothing, food, shelter, and yes.  Even sleep!  If I seek the one who sustains me, he will give me the strength to triumph over all obstacles.

 

10:40 AM – My eyes are full of tears.  There is so much relief coming out of me!  With all of this going on, Psalm 56:8 comes to mind.  “You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle.  Are they not in your book?”

12:36 PM – From Aaron’s journal.  This is what I desire so I’m placing it here!

I am willing to be made willing. To yield and trust. This is best for my life.

God, please carry my burdens like you want. I will take your yoke and walk with you. Then I know you will give my soul rest.

“All of that stuff on your mind?  Give it to Him – again.  Replace those fearful thoughts with His words of truth. And sleep in peace tonight.  He knows what concerns you, He’s got you covered.”  – Crosswalk.com

2:58 PM – Discovered some psychosis with my thinking.  Irrational thoughts pertaining to belief systems.  Does the fatigued brain have trouble believing?  Similar to dementia or Alzheimer’s?  I reckon my original beliefs to be my true ones, knowing that God has them safeguarded for future use.

How to sleep with insomnia – Three bible verses: 2 Corinthians 12:9, Romans 8:28, and Galatians 2:20.

God’s sovereignty is completely in control of your life.

 

That’s the notes that I have so far for this day.  I am now going to unwind and meditate on God’s word.  Aaron said that God designed us so that insomnia won’t kill us.  We will eventually fall asleep.

With that said, we will move forward with God’s grace.  I’ll let you know how things go tomorrow.

Today’s high is going to be 63 degrees and the silver lining is being done for the day.

To those of you who don’t like losing progress, I hope that you all have a fantastic day.

 

Muse:  No sleep again?  It looks like we should pray every night!  Even on the good nights!

Twin Muse:  I believe in the power of prayer!  God will help you!  We need to keep this up!